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  3. dog who knows karate - joke

dog who knows karate - joke

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  • G Offline
    G Offline
    gvisgr8
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors' houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog. So one day the wife went to the pet store and said, "I need a good guard dog." And the clerk replied, "Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate." The wife didn't believe him so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair." The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces, then he said to the dog, "Karate that table." The dog went up to the table and broke it in half. So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her husband that it knew karate, and he said "Karate my ass!" OK don't karate me if you didnt liked it ok.... I still have that dog..;P

    Who am I? Do you know me....:omg:

    J G W 3 Replies Last reply
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    • G gvisgr8

      There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors' houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog. So one day the wife went to the pet store and said, "I need a good guard dog." And the clerk replied, "Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate." The wife didn't believe him so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair." The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces, then he said to the dog, "Karate that table." The dog went up to the table and broke it in half. So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her husband that it knew karate, and he said "Karate my ass!" OK don't karate me if you didnt liked it ok.... I still have that dog..;P

      Who am I? Do you know me....:omg:

      J Offline
      J Offline
      James R Twine
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Ha!  K.M.A...!  :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:    Peace!

      -=- James
      Please rate this message - let me know if I helped or not! * * * If you think it costs a lot to do it right, just wait until you find out how much it costs to do it wrong!
      Avoid driving a vehicle taller than you and remember that Professional Driver on Closed Course does not mean your Dumb Ass on a Public Road!
      See DeleteFXPFiles

      G 1 Reply Last reply
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      • J James R Twine

        Ha!  K.M.A...!  :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:    Peace!

        -=- James
        Please rate this message - let me know if I helped or not! * * * If you think it costs a lot to do it right, just wait until you find out how much it costs to do it wrong!
        Avoid driving a vehicle taller than you and remember that Professional Driver on Closed Course does not mean your Dumb Ass on a Public Road!
        See DeleteFXPFiles

        G Offline
        G Offline
        gvisgr8
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        i told you so... i now have to order him .... Karate his a*s....;P :Peace: ;P

        Who am I? Do you know me....:omg:

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • G gvisgr8

          There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors' houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog. So one day the wife went to the pet store and said, "I need a good guard dog." And the clerk replied, "Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate." The wife didn't believe him so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair." The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces, then he said to the dog, "Karate that table." The dog went up to the table and broke it in half. So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her husband that it knew karate, and he said "Karate my ass!" OK don't karate me if you didnt liked it ok.... I still have that dog..;P

          Who am I? Do you know me....:omg:

          G Offline
          G Offline
          Gary Wheeler
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          A burglar was tip-toeing through a darkened house, looking for the choicest items to steal. Just as he was pulling the stereo equipment out of its stand, he heard a voice. "Jesus is watching you." The burglar looks around and doesn't see anyone. Maybe it was his imagination. "I said, Jesus is watching you." In a panic, the burglar decides to risk his flashlight. In the corner of the room is a bird cage with a parrot. He steps over to the cage. "Hey, little bird; what's your name?" "Satan", the parrot replies. "Oh man, that's wild. What kind of people name their bird 'Satan'?" asks the burglar. The parrot responds, "The same kind of people who name their Rottweiler 'Jesus'."


          Software Zen: delete this;

          J J 2 Replies Last reply
          0
          • G Gary Wheeler

            A burglar was tip-toeing through a darkened house, looking for the choicest items to steal. Just as he was pulling the stereo equipment out of its stand, he heard a voice. "Jesus is watching you." The burglar looks around and doesn't see anyone. Maybe it was his imagination. "I said, Jesus is watching you." In a panic, the burglar decides to risk his flashlight. In the corner of the room is a bird cage with a parrot. He steps over to the cage. "Hey, little bird; what's your name?" "Satan", the parrot replies. "Oh man, that's wild. What kind of people name their bird 'Satan'?" asks the burglar. The parrot responds, "The same kind of people who name their Rottweiler 'Jesus'."


            Software Zen: delete this;

            J Offline
            J Offline
            James R Twine
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Yep - remember that one too...  Still funny...    Peace!

            -=- James
            Please rate this message - let me know if I helped or not! * * * If you think it costs a lot to do it right, just wait until you find out how much it costs to do it wrong!
            Avoid driving a vehicle taller than you and remember that Professional Driver on Closed Course does not mean your Dumb Ass on a Public Road!
            See DeleteFXPFiles

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • G gvisgr8

              There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors' houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog. So one day the wife went to the pet store and said, "I need a good guard dog." And the clerk replied, "Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate." The wife didn't believe him so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair." The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces, then he said to the dog, "Karate that table." The dog went up to the table and broke it in half. So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her husband that it knew karate, and he said "Karate my ass!" OK don't karate me if you didnt liked it ok.... I still have that dog..;P

              Who am I? Do you know me....:omg:

              W Offline
              W Offline
              Wjousts
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              gvisgr8 wrote:

              All we have left is this little Scottie dog.

              Bonus points because I have a Scottie! Incidentally, they're actually not bad guard dogs because they have the bark and bite of a much larger dog.

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • G Gary Wheeler

                A burglar was tip-toeing through a darkened house, looking for the choicest items to steal. Just as he was pulling the stereo equipment out of its stand, he heard a voice. "Jesus is watching you." The burglar looks around and doesn't see anyone. Maybe it was his imagination. "I said, Jesus is watching you." In a panic, the burglar decides to risk his flashlight. In the corner of the room is a bird cage with a parrot. He steps over to the cage. "Hey, little bird; what's your name?" "Satan", the parrot replies. "Oh man, that's wild. What kind of people name their bird 'Satan'?" asks the burglar. The parrot responds, "The same kind of people who name their Rottweiler 'Jesus'."


                Software Zen: delete this;

                J Offline
                J Offline
                J4amieC
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Congrats, this was orders of magnitude funnier than the OP's joke.

                --- How to get answers to your questions[^]

                G 1 Reply Last reply
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                • J J4amieC

                  Congrats, this was orders of magnitude funnier than the OP's joke.

                  --- How to get answers to your questions[^]

                  G Offline
                  G Offline
                  Gary Wheeler
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Yep, this is my one-and-only joke I remember well enough to tell. (much to the disgust of those around me; I never remember who I've told it to)


                  Software Zen: delete this;

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