pet hate: close of play
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Of all the b-talk, in all the world, it's the "ize"'s I hate most... Productize Monetize Incentivize Demoize Comminicize Not only are they complete bastardisations of a perfectly flexible, descriptive and other wise sound language, they're used ad nauseum by the most contemptuos berks on the planet. And if you're not careful, you too can be drawn into their world of mumbo-jumbo speak.
"On one of my cards it said I had to find temperatures lower than -8. The numbers I uncovered were -6 and -7 so I thought I had won, and so did the woman in the shop. But when she scanned the card the machine said I hadn't. "I phoned Camelot and they fobbed me off with some story that -6 is higher - not lower - than -8 but I'm not having it." Tina Farrell, a 23 year old thicky from Levenshulme, Manchester.
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Why oh why do people insist upon using the phrase "Close of play" in business emails. Example: "Please have xyz report to me by close of play on Wednesday" Are you playing a game of cricket? Tennis maybe? NO YOU FREAKING EEJIT we call it "the end of the day" Or the "close of business". /rant * breathes * So what pet hates do you guys have? business or personal I don't mind. Have them to me by the close of play tonight please.
Going forward...........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (when anyone I am speaking to says that, I inform them that "I don't do going forward!" and leave it to them to squirm and try to think of something approaching English :) ) Leverage! (always conjurs up a picture of someone with their arm up their back being "persuaded" by a hoodlum to do what they say - or "Once you have their b@lls in your hand their hearts and minds WILL follow") Synergy! (No - just NO!) For F sake - just speak properly, or not at all. Preferably not at all.
I still remember having to write your own code in FORTRAN rather than be a cut and paste merchant being pampered by colour coded Intellisense - ahh proper programming - those were the days :)
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Brady Kelly wrote:
Incent?
NO!
I still remember having to write your own code in FORTRAN rather than be a cut and paste merchant being pampered by colour coded Intellisense - ahh proper programming - those were the days :)
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Incentive.
"On one of my cards it said I had to find temperatures lower than -8. The numbers I uncovered were -6 and -7 so I thought I had won, and so did the woman in the shop. But when she scanned the card the machine said I hadn't. "I phoned Camelot and they fobbed me off with some story that -6 is higher - not lower - than -8 but I'm not having it." Tina Farrell, a 23 year old thicky from Levenshulme, Manchester.
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Why oh why do people insist upon using the phrase "Close of play" in business emails. Example: "Please have xyz report to me by close of play on Wednesday" Are you playing a game of cricket? Tennis maybe? NO YOU FREAKING EEJIT we call it "the end of the day" Or the "close of business". /rant * breathes * So what pet hates do you guys have? business or personal I don't mind. Have them to me by the close of play tonight please.
I gave up when Microspeak enabled any English adjective to be used as a verb. I remote, you remote, they remoted, we shall remote, he remotes, aaaarg, I remotely considered resorting to the meaning of Liff and defining a Redmond as "a word used repeatedly in the wrong part of speach by a company who's dictionaries are used by more people than any other." The only problem is MS would probably redfine this as a describe and I would finally go mad:doh:
Nothing is exactly what it seems but everything with seems can be unpicked.
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Incentive.
"On one of my cards it said I had to find temperatures lower than -8. The numbers I uncovered were -6 and -7 so I thought I had won, and so did the woman in the shop. But when she scanned the card the machine said I hadn't. "I phoned Camelot and they fobbed me off with some story that -6 is higher - not lower - than -8 but I'm not having it." Tina Farrell, a 23 year old thicky from Levenshulme, Manchester.
So I am an incentived employee?
MY BLOG
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So I am an incentived employee?
MY BLOG
You can't make me say it. I won't say it. Never! NEVER! NEVER!
"On one of my cards it said I had to find temperatures lower than -8. The numbers I uncovered were -6 and -7 so I thought I had won, and so did the woman in the shop. But when she scanned the card the machine said I hadn't. "I phoned Camelot and they fobbed me off with some story that -6 is higher - not lower - than -8 but I'm not having it." Tina Farrell, a 23 year old thicky from Levenshulme, Manchester.
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So I am an incentived employee?
MY BLOG
Brady Kelly wrote:
So I am an incentived employee?
Motivated? Encouraged? Rewarded?
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Why oh why do people insist upon using the phrase "Close of play" in business emails. Example: "Please have xyz report to me by close of play on Wednesday" Are you playing a game of cricket? Tennis maybe? NO YOU FREAKING EEJIT we call it "the end of the day" Or the "close of business". /rant * breathes * So what pet hates do you guys have? business or personal I don't mind. Have them to me by the close of play tonight please.
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Why oh why do people insist upon using the phrase "Close of play" in business emails. Example: "Please have xyz report to me by close of play on Wednesday" Are you playing a game of cricket? Tennis maybe? NO YOU FREAKING EEJIT we call it "the end of the day" Or the "close of business". /rant * breathes * So what pet hates do you guys have? business or personal I don't mind. Have them to me by the close of play tonight please.
I use EOB
Need a C# Consultant? I'm available.
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. -- Ernest Hemingway -
Why oh why do people insist upon using the phrase "Close of play" in business emails. Example: "Please have xyz report to me by close of play on Wednesday" Are you playing a game of cricket? Tennis maybe? NO YOU FREAKING EEJIT we call it "the end of the day" Or the "close of business". /rant * breathes * So what pet hates do you guys have? business or personal I don't mind. Have them to me by the close of play tonight please.
J4amieC wrote:
Why oh why do people insist upon using the phrase "Close of play" in business emails. Example: "Please have xyz report to me by close of play on Wednesday"
Because solitaire and minesweeper are the two most commonly used business applications. :-D
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J4amieC wrote:
Why oh why do people insist upon using the phrase "Close of play" in business emails. Example: "Please have xyz report to me by close of play on Wednesday"
Because solitaire and minesweeper are the two most commonly used business applications. :-D
How true :) Cheers
You have the thought that modern physics just relay on assumptions, that somehow depends on a smile of a cat, which isn’t there.( Albert Einstein)
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I gave up when Microspeak enabled any English adjective to be used as a verb. I remote, you remote, they remoted, we shall remote, he remotes, aaaarg, I remotely considered resorting to the meaning of Liff and defining a Redmond as "a word used repeatedly in the wrong part of speach by a company who's dictionaries are used by more people than any other." The only problem is MS would probably redfine this as a describe and I would finally go mad:doh:
Nothing is exactly what it seems but everything with seems can be unpicked.
There's something wrong with verbing?
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Why oh why do people insist upon using the phrase "Close of play" in business emails. Example: "Please have xyz report to me by close of play on Wednesday" Are you playing a game of cricket? Tennis maybe? NO YOU FREAKING EEJIT we call it "the end of the day" Or the "close of business". /rant * breathes * So what pet hates do you guys have? business or personal I don't mind. Have them to me by the close of play tonight please.
J4amieC wrote:
Close of play" in business emails.
I believe I would have to fire anybody that writes something that asinine.
My Blog A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. - -Lazarus Long
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Why oh why do people insist upon using the phrase "Close of play" in business emails. Example: "Please have xyz report to me by close of play on Wednesday" Are you playing a game of cricket? Tennis maybe? NO YOU FREAKING EEJIT we call it "the end of the day" Or the "close of business". /rant * breathes * So what pet hates do you guys have? business or personal I don't mind. Have them to me by the close of play tonight please.
One of my pet peaves is people who pronounce "Especially" as "Exspecially." Also, people who begin ever sentenc with "Uh." I.E. : "Uh, did you get the memo about those TPS reports" Also, I have the dumbest sister-in-law ever. She says the stupiest things. Last night we were at the in-laws and she microwaved something and got mad because when she took a bite of the food it was "Nuke Warm." I hate dumb people. :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad: As I remember more, I am sure I will be modifying this post
"If an Indian asked a programming question in the forest, would it still be urgent?" - John Simmons / outlaw programmer I get all the news I need from the weather report - Paul Simon (from "The Only Living Boy in New York")
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There's something wrong with verbing?
-
Of all the b-talk, in all the world, it's the "ize"'s I hate most... Productize Monetize Incentivize Demoize Comminicize Not only are they complete bastardisations of a perfectly flexible, descriptive and other wise sound language, they're used ad nauseum by the most contemptuos berks on the planet. And if you're not careful, you too can be drawn into their world of mumbo-jumbo speak.
"On one of my cards it said I had to find temperatures lower than -8. The numbers I uncovered were -6 and -7 so I thought I had won, and so did the woman in the shop. But when she scanned the card the machine said I hadn't. "I phoned Camelot and they fobbed me off with some story that -6 is higher - not lower - than -8 but I'm not having it." Tina Farrell, a 23 year old thicky from Levenshulme, Manchester.
-
Why oh why do people insist upon using the phrase "Close of play" in business emails. Example: "Please have xyz report to me by close of play on Wednesday" Are you playing a game of cricket? Tennis maybe? NO YOU FREAKING EEJIT we call it "the end of the day" Or the "close of business". /rant * breathes * So what pet hates do you guys have? business or personal I don't mind. Have them to me by the close of play tonight please.
Strangely, like Marc Clifton, I have never encountered this "close of play" phrase before now. But I hate it already. Since you asked, another one that I hate more each time I see it is, "that being said," any its many related forms. That being said, thanks for the rant. I hope it helped. :-D BDF
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Why oh why do people insist upon using the phrase "Close of play" in business emails. Example: "Please have xyz report to me by close of play on Wednesday" Are you playing a game of cricket? Tennis maybe? NO YOU FREAKING EEJIT we call it "the end of the day" Or the "close of business". /rant * breathes * So what pet hates do you guys have? business or personal I don't mind. Have them to me by the close of play tonight please.
People using the phrase, "personally I". That's a real big bugbear of mine.
Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.
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Why oh why do people insist upon using the phrase "Close of play" in business emails. Example: "Please have xyz report to me by close of play on Wednesday" Are you playing a game of cricket? Tennis maybe? NO YOU FREAKING EEJIT we call it "the end of the day" Or the "close of business". /rant * breathes * So what pet hates do you guys have? business or personal I don't mind. Have them to me by the close of play tonight please.
Let me not forget "burglarized". What the heck is burglarized? When did this come into existence. I haven't got a problem with it being used by Americans, it's when I hear it being used by Brits that I want to bludgeon them over the head with a wet kipper. It's burgled people.
Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.
