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j0ke

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • L Lost User

    And people say I dont get jokes, I just knew that was the funny part when I read it :laugh:

    At university studying Software Engineering - if i say this line to girls i find they won't talk to me Dan

    R Offline
    R Offline
    Rajesh R Subramanian
    wrote on last edited by
    #7

    Well, knowing the funny part is all what makes it a joke. Thanks for posting, Dan. :rolleyes:

    Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. - Cicero .·´¯`·->Rajesh<-·´¯`·. Codeproject.com: Visual C++ MVP

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    • L Lost User

      AHAHAAHA I get it, its because the neighbour was really the girls dad ;P

      At university studying Software Engineering - if i say this line to girls i find they won't talk to me Dan

      H Offline
      H Offline
      hairy_hats
      wrote on last edited by
      #8

      Coming next on CP: water wet, says Dan.

      R 1 Reply Last reply
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      • H hairy_hats

        Coming next on CP: water wet, says Dan.

        R Offline
        R Offline
        Russell Jones
        wrote on last edited by
        #9

        Steve_Harris wrote:

        Coming next on CP: water wet, says Dan.

        And all this time I've been using it to soak up my towel when i leave it on the floor!

        Z 1 Reply Last reply
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        • L Lost User

          And people say I dont get jokes, I just knew that was the funny part when I read it :laugh:

          At university studying Software Engineering - if i say this line to girls i find they won't talk to me Dan

          B Offline
          B Offline
          Brady Kelly
          wrote on last edited by
          #10

          DanB1983 wrote:

          And people say I dont get jokes

          Who are these people? :rolleyes:

          My blog at blogspot.com

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          • R Russell Jones

            Steve_Harris wrote:

            Coming next on CP: water wet, says Dan.

            And all this time I've been using it to soak up my towel when i leave it on the floor!

            Z Offline
            Z Offline
            Zhat
            wrote on last edited by
            #11

            I always thought that was how my towel got a drink when it was thirsty...

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • E Eytukan

              A father puts his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying 'God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa.' The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye grandpa?' The little girl said, 'I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.' The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: 'God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma.' The next day the grandmother died. Oh my god, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, 'God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy.' He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said 'I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?' He said 'I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life.' She said 'You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened HERE. He asked 'What'?????? She said 'This morning our neighbour James suddenly died.'


              OK,. what country just started work for the day ? The ASP.NET forum is flooded with retarded questions. -Christian Graus Best wishes to Rexx[^]

              Q Offline
              Q Offline
              QuiJohn
              wrote on last edited by
              #12

              VuNic wrote:

              She said 'This morning our neighbour James suddenly died.'

              I once saw the punchline as "The mailman dropped dead on our front lawn!"


              Faith is a fine invention For gentlemen who see; But microscopes are prudent In an emergency!            -Emily Dickinson

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              • L Lost User

                AHAHAAHA I get it, its because the neighbour was really the girls dad ;P

                At university studying Software Engineering - if i say this line to girls i find they won't talk to me Dan

                P Offline
                P Offline
                Pete OHanlon
                wrote on last edited by
                #13

                DanB1983 wrote:

                AHAHAAHA I get it, its because the neighbour was really the girls dad

                No - it's because the duck (who only exists in this joke in an intangible sense) was wearing a pink tutu and everyone knows ducks should wear a yellow tutu. It's a classic.

                Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

                My blog | My articles

                L 1 Reply Last reply
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                • Q QuiJohn

                  VuNic wrote:

                  She said 'This morning our neighbour James suddenly died.'

                  I once saw the punchline as "The mailman dropped dead on our front lawn!"


                  Faith is a fine invention For gentlemen who see; But microscopes are prudent In an emergency!            -Emily Dickinson

                  E Offline
                  E Offline
                  Eytukan
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #14

                  Yours looks genuine. That gets my 5!


                  OK,. what country just started work for the day ? The ASP.NET forum is flooded with retarded questions. -Christian Graus Best wishes to Rexx[^]

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                  • P Pete OHanlon

                    DanB1983 wrote:

                    AHAHAAHA I get it, its because the neighbour was really the girls dad

                    No - it's because the duck (who only exists in this joke in an intangible sense) was wearing a pink tutu and everyone knows ducks should wear a yellow tutu. It's a classic.

                    Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

                    My blog | My articles

                    L Offline
                    L Offline
                    Lost User
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #15

                    There's a duck? Damn I was sure I had this one this time :laugh:

                    At university studying Software Engineering - if i say this line to girls i find they won't talk to me Dan

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • E Eytukan

                      A father puts his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying 'God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa.' The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye grandpa?' The little girl said, 'I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.' The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: 'God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma.' The next day the grandmother died. Oh my god, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, 'God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy.' He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said 'I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?' He said 'I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life.' She said 'You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened HERE. He asked 'What'?????? She said 'This morning our neighbour James suddenly died.'


                      OK,. what country just started work for the day ? The ASP.NET forum is flooded with retarded questions. -Christian Graus Best wishes to Rexx[^]

                      J Offline
                      J Offline
                      Jim Crafton
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #16

                      Evil, evil, evil! :)

                      ¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • E Eytukan

                        A father puts his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying 'God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa.' The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye grandpa?' The little girl said, 'I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.' The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: 'God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma.' The next day the grandmother died. Oh my god, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, 'God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy.' He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said 'I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?' He said 'I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life.' She said 'You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened HERE. He asked 'What'?????? She said 'This morning our neighbour James suddenly died.'


                        OK,. what country just started work for the day ? The ASP.NET forum is flooded with retarded questions. -Christian Graus Best wishes to Rexx[^]

                        S Offline
                        S Offline
                        Single Step Debugger
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #17

                        After the day working hours some obviously exhausted manager is seating in his office. In front of him – one foot high heap of resumes for a senior developer position. After staring at the resumes for a several seconds, he suddenly takes the half of them, sigh deeply and after the words “We don’t need from unfortunate people!” drop them in the recycle bin.

                        The narrow specialist in the broad sense of the word is a complete idiot in the narrow sense of the word.

                        E 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • S Single Step Debugger

                          After the day working hours some obviously exhausted manager is seating in his office. In front of him – one foot high heap of resumes for a senior developer position. After staring at the resumes for a several seconds, he suddenly takes the half of them, sigh deeply and after the words “We don’t need from unfortunate people!” drop them in the recycle bin.

                          The narrow specialist in the broad sense of the word is a complete idiot in the narrow sense of the word.

                          E Offline
                          E Offline
                          Eytukan
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #18

                          Here[^]


                          OK,. what country just started work for the day ? The ASP.NET forum is flooded with retarded questions. -Christian Graus Best wishes to Rexx[^]

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • E Eytukan

                            A father puts his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying 'God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa.' The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye grandpa?' The little girl said, 'I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.' The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: 'God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma.' The next day the grandmother died. Oh my god, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, 'God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy.' He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said 'I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?' He said 'I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life.' She said 'You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened HERE. He asked 'What'?????? She said 'This morning our neighbour James suddenly died.'


                            OK,. what country just started work for the day ? The ASP.NET forum is flooded with retarded questions. -Christian Graus Best wishes to Rexx[^]

                            N Offline
                            N Offline
                            NetDave
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #19

                            The first time I heard this one, many years ago, it was the milkman who died.

                            QRZ? de WAØTTN

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