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Nine year anniversary

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  • L leckey 0

    Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?

    Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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    Christian Graus
    wrote on last edited by
    #7

    I have a failed marriage. Mostly because I was pretty self absorbed, and I never bothered to ask her if she was happy. In my defence, she pushed the marriage through, I wanted to go slow, I knew I wasn't ready. 15 years married this year to wife #2. No earth shattering advice, just the obvious - listen to your partner, even when you think they are being stupid.

    Christian Graus Please read this if you don't understand the answer I've given you "also I don't think "TranslateOneToTwoBillion OneHundredAndFortySevenMillion FourHundredAndEightyThreeThousand SixHundredAndFortySeven()" is a very good choice for a function name" - SpacixOne ( offering help to someone who really needed it ) ( spaces added for the benefit of people running at < 1280x1024 )

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    • T Thunderbox666

      Marriage is not a word, it is a sentence!! No advice here as I'm not married, but Congrats :)


      "There are three sides to every story. Yours, mine and the truth" ~ unknown "All things good to know are difficult to learn" ~ Greek Proverb "The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary" ~ Vidal Sassoon

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      leckey 0
      wrote on last edited by
      #8

      I say it's a very, very long trip with no stops before the final destination. So you better like whom you are traveling with. :-D

      Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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      • R RichardM1

        The 12th was our 15th anniversary. Things to do: Marry my wife (sorry, she is taken). Things to not do: Marry my ex-wife (the guy who she divorced next agrees). Look for someone who resolves problems the same way you do. If you are into knock-down-drag-outs, make sure your spouse is, too. If you like to discuss what is going on, make sure your spouse does, to. If you like to stick your head in the sand and ignore stuff (at least financially), make sure your spouse does not. Someone has to understand some of the realities of the world. If you are going to have children, understand that you will have different ideas of what is right. Figure it out, and understand, he wants to make the rules, but she will probably be the one implementing the policies on a day to day basis, so her vote REALLY matters. That is not sexism, that is statistics. Finances matter. So do dreams and feelings, and love does not overcome all. Love is not lust. Love is not feelings. Loving someone is a day by day decision to put them, if not ahead of you, at least at the same level as you. You will get over the lust, and the starry eyed feelings. You must keep your commitment, you must honor and respect, even when you don't feel friendly. Men, your wife needs your love, tell her, and mean it, as often as you can. Women, your husband needs your respect, give it to him, even when the world does not. If you don't respect him, he will not respect himself. If your home is not the place where you can hide from the cold, hard, world, together, it will never be more than your house. Be friends, first. On religion, you need to be compatible, so never go into a relationship trying to save the other. In the long run, they will get resentful, and you will be frustrated, and it will be a wedge between you. If one of you gets it afterwards, your religion will speak to you on what you should do, but don't put that burden on yourselves from the beginning. And when you read this, know I am only at fifty percent (if I'm lucky). :-O Dang, that was just supposed to be a two line joke.

        Silver member by constant and unflinching longevity.

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        leckey 0
        wrote on last edited by
        #9

        I think there is a lot of great advice there. When the Hubby and I first met he was terrible about finances. If he didn't open the bill, it didn't exist. Now he handles a lot more of the finances. I also really agree with the friends first. I think your spouse should be your best friend. The religion thing is always funny between us. I wanted a Jewish wedding but Kori thought he would look funny with the little Jewish hat as he called it. He never goes to church but his stepdad is a Methodist minister. We got married at a Methodist church his SD used to work at. Kori tried to get a discount because his SD used to be a minister there even though we were not members. Every once in a while I'll be eating something and he'll ask if it was 'bled and not bludgeoned' which is part of the rules of kosher eating. But I really like a lot of what you said.

        Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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        • L Lost User

          :beer: Congrats :beer: Ginny and I celebrated 22 years back in December. Seems like only yesterday... ;)

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          leckey 0
          wrote on last edited by
          #10

          Did you get the "copper" as your traditional wedding gift? :-D

          Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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          • C Christian Graus

            I have a failed marriage. Mostly because I was pretty self absorbed, and I never bothered to ask her if she was happy. In my defence, she pushed the marriage through, I wanted to go slow, I knew I wasn't ready. 15 years married this year to wife #2. No earth shattering advice, just the obvious - listen to your partner, even when you think they are being stupid.

            Christian Graus Please read this if you don't understand the answer I've given you "also I don't think "TranslateOneToTwoBillion OneHundredAndFortySevenMillion FourHundredAndEightyThreeThousand SixHundredAndFortySeven()" is a very good choice for a function name" - SpacixOne ( offering help to someone who really needed it ) ( spaces added for the benefit of people running at < 1280x1024 )

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            leckey 0
            wrote on last edited by
            #11

            15 years: traditional gift is crystal; modern is watches. Apparently so you can see how much more time until the Other shuts up. :-D

            Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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            • C Christian Graus

              I have a failed marriage. Mostly because I was pretty self absorbed, and I never bothered to ask her if she was happy. In my defence, she pushed the marriage through, I wanted to go slow, I knew I wasn't ready. 15 years married this year to wife #2. No earth shattering advice, just the obvious - listen to your partner, even when you think they are being stupid.

              Christian Graus Please read this if you don't understand the answer I've given you "also I don't think "TranslateOneToTwoBillion OneHundredAndFortySevenMillion FourHundredAndEightyThreeThousand SixHundredAndFortySeven()" is a very good choice for a function name" - SpacixOne ( offering help to someone who really needed it ) ( spaces added for the benefit of people running at < 1280x1024 )

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              RichardM1
              wrote on last edited by
              #12

              Christian Graus wrote:

              In my defence, she pushed the marriage through, I wanted to go slow, I knew I wasn't ready.

              LOL! I know where you are coming from, my ex said "We've been going out 2 years, it's time to s**t or get off the pot." Unfortunately, I s**t. :laugh:

              Silver member by constant and unflinching longevity.

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              • L leckey 0

                I say it's a very, very long trip with no stops before the final destination. So you better like whom you are traveling with. :-D

                Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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                Thunderbox666
                wrote on last edited by
                #13

                leckey wrote:

                I say it's a very, very long trip

                Well personally I don't see marriage in in my life any time soon (not in the next 10 years anyway) so I guess the trip will be a bit shorter for me :D My great Uncle and aunty are celebrating their 50th in a couple of weeks. He turns 101 the day before. Now that is a huge effort if you ask me


                "There are three sides to every story. Yours, mine and the truth" ~ unknown "All things good to know are difficult to learn" ~ Greek Proverb "The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary" ~ Vidal Sassoon

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                • T Thunderbox666

                  leckey wrote:

                  I say it's a very, very long trip

                  Well personally I don't see marriage in in my life any time soon (not in the next 10 years anyway) so I guess the trip will be a bit shorter for me :D My great Uncle and aunty are celebrating their 50th in a couple of weeks. He turns 101 the day before. Now that is a huge effort if you ask me


                  "There are three sides to every story. Yours, mine and the truth" ~ unknown "All things good to know are difficult to learn" ~ Greek Proverb "The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary" ~ Vidal Sassoon

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                  RichardM1
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #14

                  Married at 51, and still lasted 50 years. Hardcore. :)

                  Silver member by constant and unflinching longevity.

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                  • G Gary Kirkham

                    My only advice is for your husband... You can be right or you can be happy. P.S. I have married 24 years.

                    Gary Kirkham Forever Forgiven and Alive in the Spirit Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me. Me blog, You read

                    modified on Thursday, June 19, 2008 9:36 PM

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                    SomeGuyThatIsMe
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #15

                    And there's only one thing a woman ever needs to get for her man as a present(2 actually but one isnt PG). Ralphie Mae is hilarious.

                    Please remember to rate helpful or unhelpful answers, it lets us and people reading the forums know if our answers are any good.

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                    • L leckey 0

                      15 years: traditional gift is crystal; modern is watches. Apparently so you can see how much more time until the Other shuts up. :-D

                      Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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                      C Offline
                      Christian Graus
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #16

                      ROTFL - funny, I just bought her a nice watch at LAX on the way home. The Mickey Mouse one I bought her 2 years ago has been playing up.

                      Christian Graus Please read this if you don't understand the answer I've given you "also I don't think "TranslateOneToTwoBillion OneHundredAndFortySevenMillion FourHundredAndEightyThreeThousand SixHundredAndFortySeven()" is a very good choice for a function name" - SpacixOne ( offering help to someone who really needed it ) ( spaces added for the benefit of people running at < 1280x1024 )

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                      • R RichardM1

                        Christian Graus wrote:

                        In my defence, she pushed the marriage through, I wanted to go slow, I knew I wasn't ready.

                        LOL! I know where you are coming from, my ex said "We've been going out 2 years, it's time to s**t or get off the pot." Unfortunately, I s**t. :laugh:

                        Silver member by constant and unflinching longevity.

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                        C Offline
                        Christian Graus
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #17

                        Yeah, we went out for a month or something, I was VERY young, very naive, and when confronted with marry or leave, I took marry. My first girlfriend, no less. Disaster.

                        Christian Graus Please read this if you don't understand the answer I've given you "also I don't think "TranslateOneToTwoBillion OneHundredAndFortySevenMillion FourHundredAndEightyThreeThousand SixHundredAndFortySeven()" is a very good choice for a function name" - SpacixOne ( offering help to someone who really needed it ) ( spaces added for the benefit of people running at < 1280x1024 )

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                        • R RichardM1

                          Married at 51, and still lasted 50 years. Hardcore. :)

                          Silver member by constant and unflinching longevity.

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                          Thunderbox666
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #18

                          RichardM1 wrote:

                          Hardcore

                          Yeah.... no argument here! The odd thing is, he was more then happy to have a 100th birthday party, but doesn't want a 50th anniversary party :doh:


                          "There are three sides to every story. Yours, mine and the truth" ~ unknown "All things good to know are difficult to learn" ~ Greek Proverb "The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary" ~ Vidal Sassoon

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                          • C Christian Graus

                            Yeah, we went out for a month or something, I was VERY young, very naive, and when confronted with marry or leave, I took marry. My first girlfriend, no less. Disaster.

                            Christian Graus Please read this if you don't understand the answer I've given you "also I don't think "TranslateOneToTwoBillion OneHundredAndFortySevenMillion FourHundredAndEightyThreeThousand SixHundredAndFortySeven()" is a very good choice for a function name" - SpacixOne ( offering help to someone who really needed it ) ( spaces added for the benefit of people running at < 1280x1024 )

                            R Offline
                            R Offline
                            RichardM1
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #19

                            THAT sucks. :sigh: I was 27 and have to attribute it to a decision badly made. :( I hope she ended up getting treatment, instead of continuing to dump her problem on other people. That is a serious comment, not a slam.

                            Silver member by constant and unflinching longevity.

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                            • C Christian Graus

                              ROTFL - funny, I just bought her a nice watch at LAX on the way home. The Mickey Mouse one I bought her 2 years ago has been playing up.

                              Christian Graus Please read this if you don't understand the answer I've given you "also I don't think "TranslateOneToTwoBillion OneHundredAndFortySevenMillion FourHundredAndEightyThreeThousand SixHundredAndFortySeven()" is a very good choice for a function name" - SpacixOne ( offering help to someone who really needed it ) ( spaces added for the benefit of people running at < 1280x1024 )

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                              leckey 0
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #20

                              Well that's your problem...buying a watch with an obviously poofer character yet likes a demanding female of his own species. I remember when Swatch watches were all the rage down in AUS.

                              Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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                              • R RichardM1

                                Christian Graus wrote:

                                In my defence, she pushed the marriage through, I wanted to go slow, I knew I wasn't ready.

                                LOL! I know where you are coming from, my ex said "We've been going out 2 years, it's time to s**t or get off the pot." Unfortunately, I s**t. :laugh:

                                Silver member by constant and unflinching longevity.

                                L Offline
                                L Offline
                                leckey 0
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #21

                                I apparently did something like that when I was drunk one night. But it was almost five years of dating before we got married.

                                Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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                                • L leckey 0

                                  Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?

                                  Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

                                  L Offline
                                  L Offline
                                  Lost User
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #22

                                  leckey wrote:

                                  any additional advice

                                  Two words..."Yes dear" :) My limited experiance has tought me that its important to choose your battles carefully.

                                  L 1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • L leckey 0

                                    Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?

                                    Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

                                    M Offline
                                    M Offline
                                    Member 96
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #23

                                    Congrats, our tenth is coming up in a couple of months. My advice is first and foremost only argue or disagree about stuff if it means the world to you, i.e. life and death, anything less than that just let it slide because it won't matter in the long run anyway. Both partners have to follow this rule, it can't just be one. Second and probably equally important: a healthy sex life characterized by openness and when presented with the others fantasies, however kinky or unusal they may seem to the other, to exhibit the three G's: Good, giving and game (within reasonable limits). Think 'good in bed,' 'giving equal time and equal pleasure,' and 'game for anything—within reason.'" As more and more time goes by those two things are what keep a marriage vibrant and happy more than anything else.


                                    "The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." - Walter Bagehot

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                                    • S SomeGuyThatIsMe

                                      And there's only one thing a woman ever needs to get for her man as a present(2 actually but one isnt PG). Ralphie Mae is hilarious.

                                      Please remember to rate helpful or unhelpful answers, it lets us and people reading the forums know if our answers are any good.

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                                      L Offline
                                      leckey 0
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #24

                                      LOOOOOOVE Ralphie!!!

                                      Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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                                      • L leckey 0

                                        Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?

                                        Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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                                        Chris Meech
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #25

                                        Congrats leckey. As much as every year is special, it's also good to make every day special. My wife and I have 27+ years married and a couple more that we lived together before hand. She and I agree that one of the reasons that we get along so well with each other is because we not only do stuff together, but we also do stuff without each other. I will never do scrap booking or stained glass art. But what my wife creates is amazing. As well, my wife will never cut lumber, make a shelf or shingle a roof. But like Dirty Harry used to say, "A man's got to know his limitations". :)

                                        Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] Donate to help Conquer Cancer[^]

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                                        • L Lost User

                                          leckey wrote:

                                          any additional advice

                                          Two words..."Yes dear" :) My limited experiance has tought me that its important to choose your battles carefully.

                                          L Offline
                                          L Offline
                                          leckey 0
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #26

                                          I agree with that. I don't normally like Dr. Phil but I like his "you can be a Right Fighter or a Hero."

                                          I have a blog. Read if you care. http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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