Nine year anniversary
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
Congratulations on 9 years! I've been very happily married for 14 years. Perhaps I should venture a guess about what makes it so. 1. Marry somebody who you actually like. The enchantment eventually fades, and have to live with what is left. 2. Treat your marriage with the respect it deserves. Defend it from intrusions of career, money, status, etc. The other successes will come if you are working from a stable foundation. 3. When you win, you loose. Relationships are based on cooperation and working together. Winning an argument soothes the ego, but poisions any relationship. 4. Small acts of kindness count. 5. Be the type of person somebody would want to be married to. Best wishes!
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terrific advice. the standard joke is, the first time you marry for love, the second time you marry for compatibility. there are a lot of opportunities for love, but compatibility is harder to come by, and absolutely crucial. it's very important to understand who YOU are. I'm on my 9th year marriage, but finally throwing the towel in, mostly due to differences in fighting styles and educational background. Love ain't enough by itself...
I threw in the towel after 15 years. During the 3 years of dating prior to marriage, I had felt quite lucky to have met someone who was 'assertive' and 'outspoken' on things about which others seemed complacent. Soon after marrying, I woke up to the fact that these were actually traits of a person who felt a need to be completely in control of everything and everyone. The last 10 years of the marriage were only for the kids. I agree with the person who quipped: why would I want to spend my life in an institution?
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dan neely wrote:
I have a well stocked pantry (probably 2-3mo of food on hand)
Good lord? 2-3 Months? Expecting the end of the world soon? That's a lot of food!
¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog
Aside from the initial investment it's cheaper since everything storable is bought on sale. While I'm not expecting TEOTWAWKI* anytime soon, and would be storing different sorts (and lots more) of goods in that case, job loss is always a risk and doing this covers one of my most vital expenses. * The end of the world as we know it
Today's lesson is brought to you by the word "niggardly". Remember kids, don't attribute to racism what can be explained by Scandinavian language roots. -- Robert Royall
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
Interesting topic/question. Thanks for asking it. In fact, it is a really good place to start. Having been married to my best friend for 28.5 years, I think that the most important suggestion that I can make is to be as open as you can about everything. My most irritating attribute (at least I think that it bothers her the most), is that when things get stressful, I tend to stop talking to her about what is going on. Even when she is feeling bad, she wants to know what is going on with me... Which is really encouraging for me. I'll share with you my absolute "best line" after 28.5 years of marriage... On her birthday, someone asked me "how old is she"... I was extremely fortunate to immediately reply "29 and holding, and I get to do the holding!" Remember, marriage is a spectator sport, you have to work at it to make it work... Bob
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
Just had my 11th. Very important: They spend separate time with their friends/co-workers in a social setting. And so do you...it preserves the sanity. My wife just got back from a cruise with 2 girlfriends...it did us both a world of good!
What does an agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac do? He lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog.
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Just had my 11th. Very important: They spend separate time with their friends/co-workers in a social setting. And so do you...it preserves the sanity. My wife just got back from a cruise with 2 girlfriends...it did us both a world of good!
What does an agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac do? He lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog.
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
In the immortal words of Bill and Ted: "Be excellent to each other." If you find someone special enough to marry, it was for a reason. Sure living together puts some extra strain on a relationship, but these things can be overcome. My 10 year marriage is good, but like others, I admit that it can be better. My wife recently signed us up to do a marriage study through our church titled "Love and Respect". Even if you aren't a church going person, I highly recommend this study. "It really works"(TM). Your church may offer it, if they don't, you can read along at home (there is also a video you can watch). Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs (amazon.com) [^]
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
If it works don't try to fix it. We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary. We are not married and don't plan to be. We are best friends. We are talking about kids but waiting until things are more financially sound (he just got a new degree and will be starting a new career this summer). Things are better than ever. I truthfully think that marriage would change our relationship to the point where we wouldn't like each other any more. There is a certain mindset that neither one of us is comfortable with. We are both very independent people and our relationship works because we live our independent lives together. We don't argue about money because we each contribute our share of the bills and have a joint savings account for things like fixing the house and vacations and the rest of our money is our own. On the other hand we spend almost all of our spare time together with the exception of the occasional visit to friends and family that we do alone. We appreciate each other more when we get back together after being away. My best advice is to be your own person. Don't try to live your partners life for them. Accept the other person for who they are and don't ask them to change. You can suggest changes but make sure they understand that you will love and respect them even if they don't change. Also, NEVER talk about your partner to other people unless you want them to hear what you said about them. If you wouldn't say it to them don't say it to others. It is disrespectful and if it is truly how you feel they should know about it.
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
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I threw in the towel after 15 years. During the 3 years of dating prior to marriage, I had felt quite lucky to have met someone who was 'assertive' and 'outspoken' on things about which others seemed complacent. Soon after marrying, I woke up to the fact that these were actually traits of a person who felt a need to be completely in control of everything and everyone. The last 10 years of the marriage were only for the kids. I agree with the person who quipped: why would I want to spend my life in an institution?
That sounds scarily like my marriage. :~ Fortunately, I'm now with someone who is far more balanced and fun (4 years now!). :-D :-D :-D
Anna :rose: Having a bad bug day? Anna's Place | Tears and Laughter "If mushy peas are the food of the devil, the stotty cake is the frisbee of God"
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
Sixteenth anniversary coming up; I don't know how, the time has just flown by. We just like being together.
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
Before my marriage ended I managed to stay married for 14 years, mostly because we were apart for the majority of it (seriously about nine years apart, I'm a former US Marine). :) Seriously, the not killing each other part, no matter HOW attractive it may be at times is critical to continued living together. There was a great book I read a long time ago when I was but a wee teenager and one of the chapters was titled "Marriage: The first 50 years are the hardest." My folks have managed to remain married through hell and high water for over 51 years (it was 51 in February for them) simply because they came from a time when you didn't just give up because things got difficult. My advice from 49 years of experience are as follows: - The Disney fairytale relationship of "happily every after" doesn't exist, so instead accept that it's going to take a lot of hard work to keep your marriage working. - 50% of a successful marriage is listening. This applies to both of you. - another 50% of a successful marriage is knowing to keep your mouth shut. Again, this applies to both of you. - the third 50% of a successful marriage is realizing that you *cannot* solve every problem for each other, so be ready and show that you're willing, but wait until you're asked and then help only if you truly can. Sometimes that help is in the form of simply being there. Being available. Yes, I know I'm up to 150%, but we're talking about marriage here, and since there's two of you, that's 200% total. You didn't think I was going to make this easy, did you? :) Okay, the last 50% you have to figure out for yourself. Did you ever see City Slickers? That "one thing" that Billy Crystal's character had to figure out? Well that last 50% part of that "one thing" and a few other things that you really need to figure out and that only comes with time. Congrats on making it this long, but remember: Baby steps. Little things mean so much more than big things, so baby steps. Take it slowly and one day at a time. Mike Poz
Mike Poz
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Just had my 11th. Very important: They spend separate time with their friends/co-workers in a social setting. And so do you...it preserves the sanity. My wife just got back from a cruise with 2 girlfriends...it did us both a world of good!
What does an agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac do? He lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog.
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Here's a thought. I'm curious if you agree or not. We fall in love with another person often because of the strengths that person has, but in reality, it's the weaknesses in our partner that we must love the most. Marc
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The 12th was our 15th anniversary. Things to do: Marry my wife (sorry, she is taken). Things to not do: Marry my ex-wife (the guy who she divorced next agrees). Look for someone who resolves problems the same way you do. If you are into knock-down-drag-outs, make sure your spouse is, too. If you like to discuss what is going on, make sure your spouse does, to. If you like to stick your head in the sand and ignore stuff (at least financially), make sure your spouse does not. Someone has to understand some of the realities of the world. If you are going to have children, understand that you will have different ideas of what is right. Figure it out, and understand, he wants to make the rules, but she will probably be the one implementing the policies on a day to day basis, so her vote REALLY matters. That is not sexism, that is statistics. Finances matter. So do dreams and feelings, and love does not overcome all. Love is not lust. Love is not feelings. Loving someone is a day by day decision to put them, if not ahead of you, at least at the same level as you. You will get over the lust, and the starry eyed feelings. You must keep your commitment, you must honor and respect, even when you don't feel friendly. Men, your wife needs your love, tell her, and mean it, as often as you can. Women, your husband needs your respect, give it to him, even when the world does not. If you don't respect him, he will not respect himself. If your home is not the place where you can hide from the cold, hard, world, together, it will never be more than your house. Be friends, first. On religion, you need to be compatible, so never go into a relationship trying to save the other. In the long run, they will get resentful, and you will be frustrated, and it will be a wedge between you. If one of you gets it afterwards, your religion will speak to you on what you should do, but don't put that burden on yourselves from the beginning. And when you read this, know I am only at fifty percent (if I'm lucky). :-O Dang, that was just supposed to be a two line joke.
Silver member by constant and unflinching longevity.
Religion is a funny thing. We started out with me being religious and her not, then she became religious, then somewhere along the way I stopped being religious. First piece of advice, spend some time apart, the longer the better but not to long. Second, piece of advice, be careful when you come back together, this is when most babies are made in the military. Twelve years of military and nine years of marriage and some how we have made it this far with only a few bumps. ;)
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
I was adament that there was no way I would ever wed as there was not a woman on Earth I would want to spend my life with. We met in December, married the next May and now we've been together seven years. Every day I tell my Darling how much I love her and she says the same to me. It's not just words, it's how we both feel. Today, I have my two angels (3 and 6) while my wife is off at Ascot. I am looking at the girls right now and it reinforces the joy I have in my life. So that's it really. Enjoy what you give each other and let each other know. Kissing is good too.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
Congratulations on the anniversary! I know deep down that if my wife hadn't passed away after 10 months of marriage that we'd still have been together years later - I guess you just KNOW it's going to work, and if so, then it all kinda just fits in to place :)
C# has already designed away most of the tedium of C++.
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
My dad & step-mom are now into their 50s. I had a conversation with my step mom (a nurse practitioner) the other day about hearing (and loss thereof). She said that as we age, men tend lose hearing for higher tones while women tend to lose hearing for lower tones. I don't think this is a mere coincidence ... I think this is nature's way of keeping two people together! :)
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
Here's my addition to give you hope. I've spent 12+ years with my partner and we're stronger than ever. #1 You can get past any issue with communication and the desire to make amends. This includes serial infidelity, addiction, and financial mistakes. (We're living proof, though I won't tell you which!) #2 Stay financially healthy. A wise old German man once told me the key to having a happy house was to have enough money coming in so the wife can buy what she needs and pay the bills. This man was blessed with 2 25-year marriages, the second after his first wife died. (Most of the arguments in my house were about money.) #3 Make sacrifices and compromise so you can be stronger as a pair. (This involved taking turns being full time students in addition to our jobs. It's difficult to deal with having less time to spend together, but it pays off in the long run.) #4 Encourage your spouse to do things they enjoy outside of the marriage. (I've needed a lot of encouragement to do what I enjoy because it's separate from my spouse. Now I feel free to get involved with the local theater, pursue my education, and take side jobs.) #5 Always say, "I love you" when parting - be it on the phone, in the morning before work, and before going to sleep at night. Sometimes it may feel like lip service, especially when you're mad at each other, but it's good glue to keep yourselves together. It's important to know you're still loved even when your spouse doesn't like you at the moment! I think 5 is enough. Good luck and much love to you and yours! Suzanne
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
We've been married 24 years next month. My advice is: don't believe in divorce! There are some rocky times ahead, some very rocky and scary. However, if you can perservere and make it to the other side TOGETHER, you will be so much stronger and very thankful to have your spouse smiling back at you. Having shared tough experiences (as well as good experiences, but it's the tough ones that temper the steel) allow you to be one as nothing else can. Hang in there, it's worth it in the long run. :) -Owen