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Nine year anniversary

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  • R RichardM1

    My wife I were pretty sure within a month, but we both were waiting on divorces, so we didn't get "really" engaged for 6 months. We got married after 13 months. To this day, I credit my ex for her timing on the divorce, and teaching me how to appreciate my wife.

    Silver member by constant and unflinching longevity.

    L Offline
    L Offline
    leckey 0
    wrote on last edited by
    #44

    At least you can find something positive out of the experience; most don't.

    I have a blog. Read if you care. http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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    • M Member 96

      Just the sex part? Not the don't argue unless it means the world to you part? :) Kid sisters probably know a lot more than the average adult here in this day and age. :) I grew up in a community where adults would talk openly about anything including sex with each other whether children were around or not and if the kids asked they were told anything they wanted to know in adult terms. (A lot of older "hippies" fondly referred to as "shrubs" who had mostly given up the most embarassing aspects of the 60's and 70's but were very cool people to know) Most often this kind of discussion resulted in an "Ewww" reaction and running away at a young age until it became interesting. It was considered highly damaging and unhealthy and one of the worst possible things you could do to *not* talk to your kids about anything they wanted to know or were curious about.


      "The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." - Walter Bagehot

      L Offline
      L Offline
      leckey 0
      wrote on last edited by
      #45

      I grew up in a very small closed-off community where I remember being in middle school (6 to 8th grades) and a boy thought you could get a girl pregnant from, um, fellatio (spelling?). I honestly learned about sex because we had HBO and I had no set time for going to bed. This is still an area where you should not have sex until you are married (although most don't) yet they don't really explain what "sex" is so kids experiment and get pregnant or get STDs. This is one area where I think the internet has actually helped kids explore their curiosities.

      I have a blog. Read if you care. http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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      • L leckey 0

        Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?

        Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

        J Offline
        J Offline
        Jim Crafton
        wrote on last edited by
        #46

        I've found deep breaths, valium, and exhaustive exercise to help greatly. Also a rigorous refusal on my part to apply the rules of logic to most conversations I have with my wife also greatly reduces my stress. In addition an avoidance of any conversation about the true meaning of the words "sales", "savings", and the phrase "look how much I saved" has also contributed to our marital bliss.

        ¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog

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        • C Christian Graus

          LOL

          Christian Graus Please read this if you don't understand the answer I've given you "also I don't think "TranslateOneToTwoBillion OneHundredAndFortySevenMillion FourHundredAndEightyThreeThousand SixHundredAndFortySeven()" is a very good choice for a function name" - SpacixOne ( offering help to someone who really needed it ) ( spaces added for the benefit of people running at < 1280x1024 )

          L Offline
          L Offline
          leckey 0
          wrote on last edited by
          #47

          I'm not a true Aussie, but if you are in the US and looking for a US gift for the wife, you know how to email me right? ;P

          I have a blog. Read if you care. http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

          C 1 Reply Last reply
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          • L leckey 0

            I grew up in a very small closed-off community where I remember being in middle school (6 to 8th grades) and a boy thought you could get a girl pregnant from, um, fellatio (spelling?). I honestly learned about sex because we had HBO and I had no set time for going to bed. This is still an area where you should not have sex until you are married (although most don't) yet they don't really explain what "sex" is so kids experiment and get pregnant or get STDs. This is one area where I think the internet has actually helped kids explore their curiosities.

            I have a blog. Read if you care. http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

            M Offline
            M Offline
            Member 96
            wrote on last edited by
            #48

            leckey wrote:

            This is one area where I think the internet has actually helped kids explore their curiosities.

            Yeah I was going to say *exactly* the same thing. The best gift any teacher can give a child these days is the ability to use the internet and the critical thinking skills to separate factual information from the slew of bogus information then get out of the way.


            "The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." - Walter Bagehot

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            • J Jim Crafton

              I've found deep breaths, valium, and exhaustive exercise to help greatly. Also a rigorous refusal on my part to apply the rules of logic to most conversations I have with my wife also greatly reduces my stress. In addition an avoidance of any conversation about the true meaning of the words "sales", "savings", and the phrase "look how much I saved" has also contributed to our marital bliss.

              ¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog

              L Offline
              L Offline
              leckey 0
              wrote on last edited by
              #49

              I'd agree, but I'm not a normal girl. I'm a computer programmer. I don't understand my own species gender. I know I can be a girly irrational bastard, but my husband, having grown up with women, knows how to deal with it. Part of my routine: A guy goes into a store, sees a coat on sale and thinks to himself, "You know, I could use a new coat for those four winter months. Mine is worn and I could shovel the sidewalk quicker in a coat like that." The girl says to herself, "OMG that cute coat is on sale! I know it's March and it won't be until November before I could wear it and it might be out of style by then but it also matches those shoes I bought a couple weeks ago blah blah blah..."

              I have a blog. Read if you care. http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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              • L leckey 0

                I'd agree, but I'm not a normal girl. I'm a computer programmer. I don't understand my own species gender. I know I can be a girly irrational bastard, but my husband, having grown up with women, knows how to deal with it. Part of my routine: A guy goes into a store, sees a coat on sale and thinks to himself, "You know, I could use a new coat for those four winter months. Mine is worn and I could shovel the sidewalk quicker in a coat like that." The girl says to herself, "OMG that cute coat is on sale! I know it's March and it won't be until November before I could wear it and it might be out of style by then but it also matches those shoes I bought a couple weeks ago blah blah blah..."

                I have a blog. Read if you care. http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

                J Offline
                J Offline
                Jim Crafton
                wrote on last edited by
                #50

                leckey wrote:

                sees a coat on sale

                There's the part you missed - I'd argue most guys never even see the sale sign. We need an item. We find the item. We determine if we have enough money. We buy the item (or not). For the most part.

                ¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog

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                • L leckey 0

                  Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?

                  Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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                  T Offline
                  Tom Delany
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #51

                  Next year will be 20 years for my wife and I. We dated for something like 5 or 6 years before we got married. My best advice: You have to keep trying. A lot of people give up too easily. No one ever agrees on everything. You both have to be flexible. The advice about listening all of the time (even when you think they are wrong/stupid) is good. Pick your battles carefully. IMHO, 90% of what married couples end up fighting over is not worth it. I ask myself, "Is it going to matter 6 months from now? A year? 5 years?" Most of the time the answer is no. Good luck and congrats.

                  WE ARE DYSLEXIC OF BORG. Refutance is systile. Your a$$ will be laminated.

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                  • L leckey 0

                    At least you can find something positive out of the experience; most don't.

                    I have a blog. Read if you care. http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

                    R Offline
                    R Offline
                    RichardM1
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #52

                    The other thing I thank her for (not to her face, but you know) is that she kept putting off having kids. I have not seen or heard from her in 12 years (see below). I thank her that she kept the cut clean by not having any kids with me that lived. I know people who have to deal with their exes on an ongoing basis. The last time I had anything to do with her was when the security folks asked me where she lived ( for a 5-year update). The first time, I found out and told them. Since them, I told them that if it was so important they know, they can look for her themselves.

                    Silver member by constant and unflinching longevity.

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • L leckey 0

                      Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?

                      Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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                      M Offline
                      Marc Clifton
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #53

                      Here's a thought. I'm curious if you agree or not. We fall in love with another person often because of the strengths that person has, but in reality, it's the weaknesses in our partner that we must love the most. Marc

                      Thyme In The Country Interacx My Blog

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                      • L leckey 0

                        Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?

                        Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

                        Steve EcholsS Offline
                        Steve EcholsS Offline
                        Steve Echols
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #54

                        Congrats! Coming up on 12 years now. We've had our ups and downs (mostly ups), but the thing I've learned the most is to bite my tongue, and if I fail on that, don't go to bed angry.


                        - S 50 cups of coffee and you know it's on!

                        • S
                          50 cups of coffee and you know it's on!
                          Code, follow, or get out of the way.
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                        • T Thunderbox666

                          Marriage is not a word, it is a sentence!! No advice here as I'm not married, but Congrats :)


                          "There are three sides to every story. Yours, mine and the truth" ~ unknown "All things good to know are difficult to learn" ~ Greek Proverb "The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary" ~ Vidal Sassoon

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                          Ashley van Gerven
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #55

                          Tom Delany wrote:

                          Marriage is not a word, it is a sentence!!

                          And if you're unlucky (or just bad at choices), it's a *death* sentence :-D

                          "For fifty bucks I'd put my face in their soup and blow." - George Costanza

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                          • L leckey 0

                            It's strange in rural areas like where I live though. Six months seems like more than enough time for some to decide to get married.

                            I have a blog. Read if you care. http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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                            C Offline
                            Christian Graus
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #56

                            Strange for people in rural areas to do that, or not strange for them ? Which were you ?

                            Christian Graus Please read this if you don't understand the answer I've given you "also I don't think "TranslateOneToTwoBillion OneHundredAndFortySevenMillion FourHundredAndEightyThreeThousand SixHundredAndFortySeven()" is a very good choice for a function name" - SpacixOne ( offering help to someone who really needed it ) ( spaces added for the benefit of people running at < 1280x1024 )

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                            • L leckey 0

                              A very positive attitude; many would not feel the same so I applaude you.

                              I have a blog. Read if you care. http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

                              C Offline
                              C Offline
                              Christian Graus
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #57

                              Several people in my life have assumed I'd be consumed with bitter hatred over it, but, life's too short.

                              Christian Graus Please read this if you don't understand the answer I've given you "also I don't think "TranslateOneToTwoBillion OneHundredAndFortySevenMillion FourHundredAndEightyThreeThousand SixHundredAndFortySeven()" is a very good choice for a function name" - SpacixOne ( offering help to someone who really needed it ) ( spaces added for the benefit of people running at < 1280x1024 )

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                              • L leckey 0

                                I'm not a true Aussie, but if you are in the US and looking for a US gift for the wife, you know how to email me right? ;P

                                I have a blog. Read if you care. http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

                                C Offline
                                C Offline
                                Christian Graus
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #58

                                *grin* well, the problem is, she hates jewellry, and other 'traditional' gifts. I lucked out this time, she told me the watch had broken and I realised I couldn't lose with a nice watch. I may well call on you for advice on future trips tho.

                                Christian Graus Please read this if you don't understand the answer I've given you "also I don't think "TranslateOneToTwoBillion OneHundredAndFortySevenMillion FourHundredAndEightyThreeThousand SixHundredAndFortySeven()" is a very good choice for a function name" - SpacixOne ( offering help to someone who really needed it ) ( spaces added for the benefit of people running at < 1280x1024 )

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • L leckey 0

                                  Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?

                                  Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

                                  J Offline
                                  J Offline
                                  Joe Woodbury
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #59

                                  leckey wrote:

                                  , what is your advice for a lasting marriage?

                                  Don't live in the Dakotas. Oh, damn. (Going on 23 years here and don't have the faintest clue how except that we mostly just get along.)

                                  Anyone who thinks he has a better idea of what's good for people than people do is a swine. - P.J. O'Rourke

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                                  • C Christian Graus

                                    I have a failed marriage. Mostly because I was pretty self absorbed, and I never bothered to ask her if she was happy. In my defence, she pushed the marriage through, I wanted to go slow, I knew I wasn't ready. 15 years married this year to wife #2. No earth shattering advice, just the obvious - listen to your partner, even when you think they are being stupid.

                                    Christian Graus Please read this if you don't understand the answer I've given you "also I don't think "TranslateOneToTwoBillion OneHundredAndFortySevenMillion FourHundredAndEightyThreeThousand SixHundredAndFortySeven()" is a very good choice for a function name" - SpacixOne ( offering help to someone who really needed it ) ( spaces added for the benefit of people running at < 1280x1024 )

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                                    V Offline
                                    Vikram A Punathambekar
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #60

                                    Christian Graus wrote:

                                    I have a failed marriage.

                                    Christian Graus wrote:

                                    15 years married this year to wife #2.

                                    I do hope the failed marriage was to wife #1, but the "have a failed marriage" part leaves me unsure. :~ Yeah, you can tell English isn't my native language. :-O

                                    Cheers, Vikram.


                                    The hands that help are holier than the lips that pray.

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                                    • L leckey 0

                                      15 years: traditional gift is crystal; modern is watches. Apparently so you can see how much more time until the Other shuts up. :-D

                                      Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

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                                      V Offline
                                      Vikram A Punathambekar
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #61

                                      leckey wrote:

                                      modern is watches. Apparently so you can see how much more time until the Other shuts up.

                                      :-D :laugh:

                                      Cheers, Vikram.


                                      The hands that help are holier than the lips that pray.

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                                      • C Christian Graus

                                        ROTFL - well, I think Tim was a way to make sure we broke up, and then I dunno why it lasted for years. The online guy, well, I dunno, I mean, they did meet and date, so I assume he turned out to be normal. I dunno, either way, I'm happy with how things ended up for me, so I hope she's happy, too.

                                        Christian Graus Please read this if you don't understand the answer I've given you "also I don't think "TranslateOneToTwoBillion OneHundredAndFortySevenMillion FourHundredAndEightyThreeThousand SixHundredAndFortySeven()" is a very good choice for a function name" - SpacixOne ( offering help to someone who really needed it ) ( spaces added for the benefit of people running at < 1280x1024 )

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                                        A Offline
                                        Andy_L_J
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #62

                                        Christian Graus wrote:

                                        so I hope she's happy, too

                                        Thats big of you Christian - too many blokes I know have written women off after the first attempt. I think that usually says more about them than the ex partner.

                                        I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly

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                                        • L leckey 0

                                          Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?

                                          Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]

                                          L Offline
                                          L Offline
                                          Lost User
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #63

                                          leckey wrote:

                                          For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage?

                                          Sex, and plenty of it. :)

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