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Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • R Offline
    R Offline
    Ravi Bhavnani
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Sorry, I couldn't resist. :)

    1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
    2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
    3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
    4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
    5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
    6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
    7. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual."
    8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
    9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
    10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
    11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
    12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!"
    13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
    14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
    15. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
    16. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.

    /ravi

    My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

    B M P T Z 5 Replies Last reply
    0
    • R Ravi Bhavnani

      Sorry, I couldn't resist. :)

      1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
      2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
      3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
      4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
      5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
      6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
      7. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual."
      8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
      9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
      10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
      11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
      12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!"
      13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
      14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
      15. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
      16. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.

      /ravi

      My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

      B Offline
      B Offline
      Brady Kelly
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Groan. :) I think it's time to move away from CP and down to the pub.

      Daily WTF Memes

      P P 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • R Ravi Bhavnani

        Sorry, I couldn't resist. :)

        1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
        2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
        3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
        4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
        5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
        6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
        7. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual."
        8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
        9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
        10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
        11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
        12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!"
        13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
        14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
        15. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
        16. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.

        /ravi

        My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

        M Offline
        M Offline
        martin_hughes
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        :) Brilliant.

        Top Secret Plan for World Domination

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • B Brady Kelly

          Groan. :) I think it's time to move away from CP and down to the pub.

          Daily WTF Memes

          P Offline
          P Offline
          Perspx
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Maybe he's already there? :) Regards, --Perspx

          "The Blue Screen of Death, also known as The Blue Screen of Doom, the "Blue Screen of Fun", "Phatul Exception: The WRECKening" and "Windows Vista", is a multi award-winning game first developed in 1995 by Microsoft" - Uncyclopedia Introduction to Object-Oriented JavaScript

          R 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • R Ravi Bhavnani

            Sorry, I couldn't resist. :)

            1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
            2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
            3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
            4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
            5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
            6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
            7. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual."
            8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
            9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
            10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
            11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
            12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!"
            13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
            14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
            15. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
            16. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.

            /ravi

            My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

            P Offline
            P Offline
            Paul Conrad
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            :laugh: Those are good :)

            "The clue train passed his station without stopping." - John Simmons / outlaw programmer "Real programmers just throw a bunch of 1s and 0s at the computer to see what sticks" - Pete O'Hanlon "Not only do you continue to babble nonsense, you can't even correctly remember the nonsense you babbled just minutes ago." - Rob Graham

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • B Brady Kelly

              Groan. :) I think it's time to move away from CP and down to the pub.

              Daily WTF Memes

              P Offline
              P Offline
              Paul Conrad
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Brady Kelly wrote:

              it's time to move away from CP and down to the pub.

              Okay, go down to the pub, then come back :)

              "The clue train passed his station without stopping." - John Simmons / outlaw programmer "Real programmers just throw a bunch of 1s and 0s at the computer to see what sticks" - Pete O'Hanlon "Not only do you continue to babble nonsense, you can't even correctly remember the nonsense you babbled just minutes ago." - Rob Graham

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • P Perspx

                Maybe he's already there? :) Regards, --Perspx

                "The Blue Screen of Death, also known as The Blue Screen of Doom, the "Blue Screen of Fun", "Phatul Exception: The WRECKening" and "Windows Vista", is a multi award-winning game first developed in 1995 by Microsoft" - Uncyclopedia Introduction to Object-Oriented JavaScript

                R Offline
                R Offline
                Ravi Bhavnani
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Actually I'm spending the beautiful long weekend writing code. :cool: /ravi

                My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • R Ravi Bhavnani

                  Sorry, I couldn't resist. :)

                  1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
                  2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
                  3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
                  4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
                  5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
                  6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
                  7. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual."
                  8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
                  9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
                  10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
                  11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
                  12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!"
                  13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
                  14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
                  15. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
                  16. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.

                  /ravi

                  My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

                  T Offline
                  T Offline
                  Thunderbox666
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  17. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "Dam"


                  "There are three sides to every story. Yours, mine and the truth" ~ unknown "All things good to know are difficult to learn" ~ Greek Proverb "The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary" ~ Vidal Sassoon

                  R K 2 Replies Last reply
                  0
                  • T Thunderbox666

                    17. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "Dam"


                    "There are three sides to every story. Yours, mine and the truth" ~ unknown "All things good to know are difficult to learn" ~ Greek Proverb "The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary" ~ Vidal Sassoon

                    R Offline
                    R Offline
                    Ravi Bhavnani
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    See this[^] post. :) /ravi

                    My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

                    T 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • T Thunderbox666

                      17. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "Dam"


                      "There are three sides to every story. Yours, mine and the truth" ~ unknown "All things good to know are difficult to learn" ~ Greek Proverb "The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary" ~ Vidal Sassoon

                      K Offline
                      K Offline
                      Kyudos
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      18. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. 19. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • R Ravi Bhavnani

                        See this[^] post. :) /ravi

                        My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

                        T Offline
                        T Offline
                        Thunderbox666
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        Oh sorry miseed that post... I love Puns. Greatest form of humor


                        "There are three sides to every story. Yours, mine and the truth" ~ unknown "All things good to know are difficult to learn" ~ Greek Proverb "The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary" ~ Vidal Sassoon

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • R Ravi Bhavnani

                          Sorry, I couldn't resist. :)

                          1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
                          2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
                          3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
                          4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
                          5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
                          6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
                          7. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual."
                          8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
                          9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
                          10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
                          11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
                          12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!"
                          13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
                          14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
                          15. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
                          16. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.

                          /ravi

                          My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

                          Z Offline
                          Z Offline
                          Zhat
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual." What's sad is I immediately got this...

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