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  4. Name That Sex Toy

Name That Sex Toy

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Soapbox
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  • realJSOPR realJSOP

    Name the sex toy that goes with these product descriptions: 0) "Use plenty of latex safe silicone lubricant when using this..." 1) "... try controlling your wild, bucking passion!" 2) "It is over 15 (inches) without the base..." 3) "Perfect for ... medical/clinic scenes for the sadistic proctologist." 4) "The funky, contemporary style means it doesn't need to be hidden away in the bedroom drawer." 5) "Upright and firm, you can squeeze them and feel them--they feel real!" 6) "The tubular steel design makes it impossible to masturbate..." 7) "Use him as the ultimate pacifier..." 8) "...is so comfortable, you could spend an entire night in it." 9) "Its mouth, 3 supple breasts, suction cup fingers and ass-shaped ears make it the kinkiest love slave in the galaxy." 10) "Make 'em squeal loud and hard... It doesn't get much more humiliating than this." 11) "You can apply some female odor spray on it several times a month..." 12) "The sweet motion provides endless and tireless rhythm..." 13) "Do not use while driving!" 14) "Smaller than the real thing, this is ideal to keep in your drawer or take with you on those long business trips!!" 15) "The viewer window and inside light allow you to self-examine as you self-stimulate!" 16) "Show 'er who's boss!" 17) "Fits like a glove!"

    "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
    -----
    "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

    N Offline
    N Offline
    Nagy Vilmos
    wrote on last edited by
    #8

    John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

    1. "Do not use while driving!"

    The 'Gillian Taylforth[^]' doll?


    Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • P Pete OHanlon

      Is it Clippy from Microsoft Office? I wondered where he'd got to - turns out he's been dipped in chocolate and turned into Alisons love slave.

      "WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith

      As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.

      My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

      L Offline
      L Offline
      LittleYellowBird
      wrote on last edited by
      #9

      I think, that if Microsoft Office came with a '15" chocolate coated Clippy love slave' it would probably increase sales! ;P

      Ali

      realJSOPR J 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • L LittleYellowBird

        I think, that if Microsoft Office came with a '15" chocolate coated Clippy love slave' it would probably increase sales! ;P

        Ali

        realJSOPR Offline
        realJSOPR Offline
        realJSOP
        wrote on last edited by
        #10

        Now *there* is a marketing tack Microsoft should explore - a free sex toy with every copy of Windows.

        "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
        -----
        "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

        D 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • realJSOPR realJSOP

          Now *there* is a marketing tack Microsoft should explore - a free sex toy with every copy of Windows.

          "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
          -----
          "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

          D Offline
          D Offline
          Doctor Nick
          wrote on last edited by
          #11

          I think that will happen after they start giving you the neccessary lube from having to pay to upgrade an OS that never worked in the first place. If you look at it the right way Weven is a sex toy... :laugh:

          ------------------------------------- Do not do what has already been done. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.. but it ROCKS absolutely, too.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • L LittleYellowBird

            I think, that if Microsoft Office came with a '15" chocolate coated Clippy love slave' it would probably increase sales! ;P

            Ali

            J Offline
            J Offline
            jeron1
            wrote on last edited by
            #12

            Alison Pentland wrote:

            '15" chocolate coated Clippy love slave'

            Hmm, no one would expect that type of goody from a company with 'micro' and 'soft' in its name.

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • realJSOPR realJSOP

              Name the sex toy that goes with these product descriptions: 0) "Use plenty of latex safe silicone lubricant when using this..." 1) "... try controlling your wild, bucking passion!" 2) "It is over 15 (inches) without the base..." 3) "Perfect for ... medical/clinic scenes for the sadistic proctologist." 4) "The funky, contemporary style means it doesn't need to be hidden away in the bedroom drawer." 5) "Upright and firm, you can squeeze them and feel them--they feel real!" 6) "The tubular steel design makes it impossible to masturbate..." 7) "Use him as the ultimate pacifier..." 8) "...is so comfortable, you could spend an entire night in it." 9) "Its mouth, 3 supple breasts, suction cup fingers and ass-shaped ears make it the kinkiest love slave in the galaxy." 10) "Make 'em squeal loud and hard... It doesn't get much more humiliating than this." 11) "You can apply some female odor spray on it several times a month..." 12) "The sweet motion provides endless and tireless rhythm..." 13) "Do not use while driving!" 14) "Smaller than the real thing, this is ideal to keep in your drawer or take with you on those long business trips!!" 15) "The viewer window and inside light allow you to self-examine as you self-stimulate!" 16) "Show 'er who's boss!" 17) "Fits like a glove!"

              "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
              -----
              "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

              L Offline
              L Offline
              Lost User
              wrote on last edited by
              #13

              John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

              1. "Use plenty of latex safe silicone lubricant when using this..." Razor Scooter 1) "... try controlling your wild, bucking passion!" Buckaroo 2) "It is over 15 (inches) without the base..." LCD Monitor 3) "Perfect for ... medical/clinic scenes for the sadistic proctologist." Large Hadron Collider 4) "The funky, contemporary style means it doesn't need to be hidden away in the bedroom drawer." Lava Lamp 5) "Upright and firm, you can squeeze them and feel them--they feel real!" Lawyers 6) "The tubular steel design makes it impossible to masturbate..." Airplane Toilets 7) "Use him as the ultimate pacifier..." Arnie 8) "...is so comfortable, you could spend an entire night in it." Bed 9) "Its mouth, 3 supple breasts, suction cup fingers and ass-shaped ears make it the kinkiest love slave in the galaxy." Mickey Moose 10) "Make 'em squeal loud and hard... It doesn't get much more humiliating than this." The all-new Monopoly board game 11) "You can apply some female odor spray on it several times a month..." The Cat 12) "The sweet motion provides endless and tireless rhythm..." Abwheel III 13) "Do not use while driving!" A Putter 14) "Smaller than the real thing, this is ideal to keep in your drawer or take with you on those long business trips!!" Globe of the world 15) "The viewer window and inside light allow you to self-examine as you self-stimulate!" My House 16) "Show 'er who's boss!" Business Card 17) "Fits like a glove!" Glove

              ___________________________________________ .\\axxx (That's an 'M')

              realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • L Lost User

                John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                1. "Use plenty of latex safe silicone lubricant when using this..." Razor Scooter 1) "... try controlling your wild, bucking passion!" Buckaroo 2) "It is over 15 (inches) without the base..." LCD Monitor 3) "Perfect for ... medical/clinic scenes for the sadistic proctologist." Large Hadron Collider 4) "The funky, contemporary style means it doesn't need to be hidden away in the bedroom drawer." Lava Lamp 5) "Upright and firm, you can squeeze them and feel them--they feel real!" Lawyers 6) "The tubular steel design makes it impossible to masturbate..." Airplane Toilets 7) "Use him as the ultimate pacifier..." Arnie 8) "...is so comfortable, you could spend an entire night in it." Bed 9) "Its mouth, 3 supple breasts, suction cup fingers and ass-shaped ears make it the kinkiest love slave in the galaxy." Mickey Moose 10) "Make 'em squeal loud and hard... It doesn't get much more humiliating than this." The all-new Monopoly board game 11) "You can apply some female odor spray on it several times a month..." The Cat 12) "The sweet motion provides endless and tireless rhythm..." Abwheel III 13) "Do not use while driving!" A Putter 14) "Smaller than the real thing, this is ideal to keep in your drawer or take with you on those long business trips!!" Globe of the world 15) "The viewer window and inside light allow you to self-examine as you self-stimulate!" My House 16) "Show 'er who's boss!" Business Card 17) "Fits like a glove!" Glove

                ___________________________________________ .\\axxx (That's an 'M')

                realJSOPR Offline
                realJSOPR Offline
                realJSOP
                wrote on last edited by
                #14

                F*cking BRILLIANT!!! :laugh:

                "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                -----
                "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • realJSOPR realJSOP

                  Name the sex toy that goes with these product descriptions: 0) "Use plenty of latex safe silicone lubricant when using this..." 1) "... try controlling your wild, bucking passion!" 2) "It is over 15 (inches) without the base..." 3) "Perfect for ... medical/clinic scenes for the sadistic proctologist." 4) "The funky, contemporary style means it doesn't need to be hidden away in the bedroom drawer." 5) "Upright and firm, you can squeeze them and feel them--they feel real!" 6) "The tubular steel design makes it impossible to masturbate..." 7) "Use him as the ultimate pacifier..." 8) "...is so comfortable, you could spend an entire night in it." 9) "Its mouth, 3 supple breasts, suction cup fingers and ass-shaped ears make it the kinkiest love slave in the galaxy." 10) "Make 'em squeal loud and hard... It doesn't get much more humiliating than this." 11) "You can apply some female odor spray on it several times a month..." 12) "The sweet motion provides endless and tireless rhythm..." 13) "Do not use while driving!" 14) "Smaller than the real thing, this is ideal to keep in your drawer or take with you on those long business trips!!" 15) "The viewer window and inside light allow you to self-examine as you self-stimulate!" 16) "Show 'er who's boss!" 17) "Fits like a glove!"

                  "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                  -----
                  "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

                  L Offline
                  L Offline
                  leckey 0
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #15

                  Up until #9, it sounded like my nightstand drawer. ;P

                  Back in the blog beatch! http://CraptasticNation.blogspot.com/[^]

                  L realJSOPR P 3 Replies Last reply
                  0
                  • L leckey 0

                    Up until #9, it sounded like my nightstand drawer. ;P

                    Back in the blog beatch! http://CraptasticNation.blogspot.com/[^]

                    L Offline
                    L Offline
                    Lost User
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #16

                    The drawer, or the contents of it ?:)

                    ___________________________________________ .\\axxx (That's an 'M')

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • L leckey 0

                      Up until #9, it sounded like my nightstand drawer. ;P

                      Back in the blog beatch! http://CraptasticNation.blogspot.com/[^]

                      realJSOPR Offline
                      realJSOPR Offline
                      realJSOP
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #17

                      I think I love you.

                      "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                      -----
                      "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • L leckey 0

                        Up until #9, it sounded like my nightstand drawer. ;P

                        Back in the blog beatch! http://CraptasticNation.blogspot.com/[^]

                        P Offline
                        P Offline
                        Pete OHanlon
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #18

                        Yeah right. Look, I promised I'd ship the remaining 8 items over to you ASAP - the greased up hamster nipples are proving hard to get hold of however.

                        "WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith

                        As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.

                        My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                        L 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • P Pete OHanlon

                          Yeah right. Look, I promised I'd ship the remaining 8 items over to you ASAP - the greased up hamster nipples are proving hard to get hold of however.

                          "WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith

                          As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.

                          My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                          L Offline
                          L Offline
                          leckey 0
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #19

                          Just caught this...most I've laughed in a few days---thanks!

                          Back in the blog beatch! http://CraptasticNation.blogspot.com/[^]

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