I was looking at Bob's picture
-
Bob is short for Kate and she ran off with Flash!
------------------------------------ "When Belly Full, Chin Hit Chest" Confucius 502BC
Melchett: "BlackAdder, this is Bob." Blackadder: "It's a funny name for a girl, sir." Melchett: "Yes, it would be a funny name for a girl, but it's a perfectly normal name for a strapping young lad like Bob, eh Bob?" Bob: "Yes sir." Melchett: "Bob should be a great help, He has a marvellous sense of humour." Blackadder: "He, sir? He, he?" Melchett: "See, you're laughing already." Blackadder: "Bob, you're a girl, and you have the same talent for disguise as a giraffe in sunglasses trying to get into a polar-bears-only golf club." Bob: "I just wanted to be like my brothers, I wanted to see how a war was fought so badly!" Blackadder: "Well, you're in luck Bob, a war hasn't been fought this badly since Olaf the Hairy, chief of all the Vikings, ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside!" Bob: "Oh, I'll do anything for the services." Blackadder: "Yes, Bob, I'd keep that to yourself if I were you."
"WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith
As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.
-
...and just thought - how does he eat or breathe without a mouth or a nose?
::..:.:..:: KiRtAN GoR ::..:.:..::
-
Without a thorough grounding in British humour, you wouldn't understand. For those who are in the know, Blackadder springs immediately to mind whenever they hear the word "Bob".
"WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith
As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.
With Bob, I also think of Not The 9 O'Clock News: SCENE: Large car factory: worker #1: Bob, have you got my torque-wrench? worker #2: Nah! Bob's got it. Bob, have you got Bob's torque-wrench? worker #3: I lent it to Bob. ... voice over: Leyland Ital, built by Roberts.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.
-
Alison Pentland wrote:
Yeah, yeah, yeah ...... NFN = Normal for Norfolk .... Stephen Fry's been telling complaining about that joke for years .... you Norfolkonians need some new genetic material!
FTFY!
No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced. This message is made of fully recyclable Zeros and Ones
I am just ignoring you all now! ;P
Ali
-
I'm on about seven and six a week.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.
-
With Bob, I also think of Not The 9 O'Clock News: SCENE: Large car factory: worker #1: Bob, have you got my torque-wrench? worker #2: Nah! Bob's got it. Bob, have you got Bob's torque-wrench? worker #3: I lent it to Bob. ... voice over: Leyland Ital, built by Roberts.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.
My favourite NTNOCN: Interviewer: Professor, can Gerald really speak as we would understand it? Prof. Timothy Fielding: Oh yes, yes. He can speak a few actual words. Of course it was extremely difficult to get him even to this stage. When I first captured Gerald in the Congo, '67 I think it was... Gerald, the Gorilla: '68 Prof. Timothy Fielding: '68. Umm... there was an awful lot of work to do. He was enormously slow and difficult. I had to do a lot of work with him on a sort of one-to-one basis... Gerald, the Gorilla: [interrupting] Yes, yes, if I might just butt at this point Tim, I think I should point out that I have done a considerable amount of work on this project myself and if I may say so your teaching methods do leave a bit to be desired... Prof. Timothy Fielding: That's a bit ungrateful, isn't it? Gerald, the Gorilla: ...and your diction for instance... Prof. Timothy Fielding: I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Can I put this into some sort of perspective? When I caught Gerald in '68 he was completely wild. Gerald, the Gorilla: Wild? I was absolutely livid!
"WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith
As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.
-
My favourite NTNOCN: Interviewer: Professor, can Gerald really speak as we would understand it? Prof. Timothy Fielding: Oh yes, yes. He can speak a few actual words. Of course it was extremely difficult to get him even to this stage. When I first captured Gerald in the Congo, '67 I think it was... Gerald, the Gorilla: '68 Prof. Timothy Fielding: '68. Umm... there was an awful lot of work to do. He was enormously slow and difficult. I had to do a lot of work with him on a sort of one-to-one basis... Gerald, the Gorilla: [interrupting] Yes, yes, if I might just butt at this point Tim, I think I should point out that I have done a considerable amount of work on this project myself and if I may say so your teaching methods do leave a bit to be desired... Prof. Timothy Fielding: That's a bit ungrateful, isn't it? Gerald, the Gorilla: ...and your diction for instance... Prof. Timothy Fielding: I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Can I put this into some sort of perspective? When I caught Gerald in '68 he was completely wild. Gerald, the Gorilla: Wild? I was absolutely livid!
"WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith
As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.
"Come in, shut the door." "Yes, sir." "Now then, Savage, I want to talk to you about some charges that you've been bringing lately. I think that perhaps you're being a little over-zealous." "Which charges did you mean then, sir?" "Well, for instance this one: 'Loitering with intent to use a pedestrian crossing.' Savage, maybe you're not aware of this, but it is not illegal to use a pedestrian crossing, neither is 'smelling of foreign food' an offence." "Are you sure, sir?" "Also, there's no law against 'Urinating in a public convenience or 'Coughing without due care and attention.'" "If you say so, sir..." "Yes, I do say so, Savage! Didn't they teach you anything at training school?" "Erm, I'm sorry, sir..." "Some of these cases are just plain stupid: 'Looking at me in a funny way' - Is this some kind of joke, Savage?" "No, sir." "And we have some more here: 'Walking on the cracks in the pavement,' 'Walking in a loud shirt in a built-up area during the hours of darkness,' and 'Walking around with an offensive wife.' In short, Savage, in the space of one month you have brought one hundred and seventeen ridiculous, trumped-up and ludicrous charges." "Yes, sir." "Against the same man, Savage." "Yes, sir." "A Mr Winston Kodogo, of 55, Mercer Road." "Yes, sir." "Sit down, Savage." "Yes, sir." "Savage, why do you keep arresting this man?" "He's a villain, sir." "A villain..." "And a jail-bird, sir." "I know he's a jail-bird, Savage, he's down in the cells now! We're holding him on a charge of 'Possession of curly black hair and thick lips.'" "Well - well, there you are, sir." "You arrested him, Savage!" "Thank you, sir." "Savage, would I be correct in assuming that Mr Kodogo is a coloured gentleman?" "Well, I can't say I've ever noticed, sir." "Stand up, Savage! - Savage, you're a bigot. It's officers like you that give the police a bad name. The press love to jump on an instance like this, and the reputation of the force can be permanently tarnished. Your whole time on duty is dominated by racial hatred and petty personal vendettas. Do you get some kind of perverted gratification from going around stirring up trouble?" "Yes, sir." "There's no room for men like you in my force, Savage. I'm transferring you to the S.P.G. -" "Thank you very much, sir." "- Now get out!"
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.
-
...and just thought - how does he eat or breathe without a mouth or a nose?
::..:.:..:: KiRtAN GoR ::..:.:..::
-
There are many Bobs, but most are unfriendly and rather snobbish. Our Bob is not, he is the sort of Bob you meet down the pub, who Drinks Beer and Eats Curry. He has a slight astigmatism but doesn't like spectacles. Bob is also a naturist, and dislikes clothing which causes confusion at times. Bob is married to over 3000 hamsters and is often 'unavailable' for reasons best not discussed in the Lounge. His Hobbies include Powerboat Racing, Meteorology and Listening to Frogs. We Salute you Bob! Salutimus Maximux Robertii Aliensis.
------------------------------------ "When Belly Full, Chin Hit Chest" Confucius 502BC
Dalek Dave wrote: There are many Bobs, but most are unfriendly and rather snobbish. Our Bob is not, he is the sort of Bob you meet down the pub, who Drinks Beer and Eats Curry. He has a slight astigmatism but doesn't like spectacles. Bob is also a naturist, and dislikes clothing which causes confusion at times. Bob is married to over 3000 hamsters and is often 'unavailable' for reasons best not discussed in the Lounge. His Hobbies include Powerboat Racing, Meteorology and Listening to Frogs. Very nice, but it doesn't rhyme
-
It is a fact, and a fact cannot be racist, it merely is. Or do you think that Mugabe is not shit?
------------------------------------ "When Belly Full, Chin Hit Chest" Confucius 502BC
Dalek Dave wrote:
Or do you think that Mugabe is not sh*t?
Brother Dave, When did you stop beating your wife ? best, Bill p.s. I know you are "deeper than that," and capable of undestanding exactly what I meant by using the word "racist" in this context.
"Many : not conversant with mathematical studies, imagine that because it [the Analytical Engine] is to give results in numerical notation, its processes must consequently be arithmetical, numerical, rather than algebraical and analytical. This is an error. The engine can arrange and combine numerical quantities as if they were letters or any other general symbols; and it fact it might bring out its results in algebraical notation, were provisions made accordingly." Ada, Countess Lovelace, 1844
-
Dalek Dave wrote:
Or do you think that Mugabe is not sh*t?
Brother Dave, When did you stop beating your wife ? best, Bill p.s. I know you are "deeper than that," and capable of undestanding exactly what I meant by using the word "racist" in this context.
"Many : not conversant with mathematical studies, imagine that because it [the Analytical Engine] is to give results in numerical notation, its processes must consequently be arithmetical, numerical, rather than algebraical and analytical. This is an error. The engine can arrange and combine numerical quantities as if they were letters or any other general symbols; and it fact it might bring out its results in algebraical notation, were provisions made accordingly." Ada, Countess Lovelace, 1844
BillWoodruff wrote:
When did you stop beating your wife ?
When she learnt how to play poker properly!
------------------------------------ "When Belly Full, Chin Hit Chest" Confucius 502BC
