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Why the "real world" sucks

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  • A Offline
    A Offline
    Abhinav S
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    So I went out on a real DATE today - screwed it up real bad. I realised I'm just not good at being social (definitely not in the real world). All the while I kept thinking I might have fared better if I spent more time in the real world instead of being on the computer. Anyway, I also decided that as an antidote, I'd get back to the internet and post my "disappointing" little taste of the "real world" on CP. I'm now going to consume a few beers and go off to sleep early today. :sigh:

    "Be brave little warrior, be VERY brave" - Adriaan Davel

    R J P CPalliniC M 13 Replies Last reply
    0
    • A Abhinav S

      So I went out on a real DATE today - screwed it up real bad. I realised I'm just not good at being social (definitely not in the real world). All the while I kept thinking I might have fared better if I spent more time in the real world instead of being on the computer. Anyway, I also decided that as an antidote, I'd get back to the internet and post my "disappointing" little taste of the "real world" on CP. I'm now going to consume a few beers and go off to sleep early today. :sigh:

      "Be brave little warrior, be VERY brave" - Adriaan Davel

      R Offline
      R Offline
      Rajesh R Subramanian
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Try one of those "virtual world" games. You might do better. :) BTW, sorry to know you suck at socialising with others (in real world). Me too Ugh... I mean - a friend of mine is like that too.

      “Follow your bliss.” – Joseph Campbell

      V CPalliniC 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • A Abhinav S

        So I went out on a real DATE today - screwed it up real bad. I realised I'm just not good at being social (definitely not in the real world). All the while I kept thinking I might have fared better if I spent more time in the real world instead of being on the computer. Anyway, I also decided that as an antidote, I'd get back to the internet and post my "disappointing" little taste of the "real world" on CP. I'm now going to consume a few beers and go off to sleep early today. :sigh:

        "Be brave little warrior, be VERY brave" - Adriaan Davel

        J Offline
        J Offline
        Jeremy Falcon
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Abhinav S wrote:

        I realised I'm just not good at being social (definitely not in the real world).

        It's like riding a bike. You get better at it with more practice. With more practice, you'll be more comfortable. The more comfortable you are, the more free your mind is to think about stuff to talk about and/or goof around. Just don't quit on it. There are a ton of interesting people in the world to meet. And, very few things are as cool as walking into a bar/pub/whatever and have so many people there know you and like you - to the point it feels more like home than some strange place.

        Jeremy Falcon

        P A 2 Replies Last reply
        0
        • A Abhinav S

          So I went out on a real DATE today - screwed it up real bad. I realised I'm just not good at being social (definitely not in the real world). All the while I kept thinking I might have fared better if I spent more time in the real world instead of being on the computer. Anyway, I also decided that as an antidote, I'd get back to the internet and post my "disappointing" little taste of the "real world" on CP. I'm now going to consume a few beers and go off to sleep early today. :sigh:

          "Be brave little warrior, be VERY brave" - Adriaan Davel

          P Offline
          P Offline
          peterchen
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          You could also be a better shit shoveler if you'd shovel shit more often. Like interviews, dates are designed suck. They may be the right thing for people deriving fulfilment from grooming their plume, and need positive reinforcement. For some people - like me who at age 14 thought "why do people make such a fuss about dressing up for cinema? Most of the time it's dark anyway!" - it's just a ritual of pretense and someone taking that serious annoys me seriously. Alternative: activities. Whether it's pottery or a casual cycling group doesn't matter. (It helps if you enjoy it). Other alternative: get a dog. It's cliché, but it scary how well it works. The local shelter is usually happy about someone walking one of the dogs from time to time. Disadvantage: you are likely to end up with someone and a dog. There's no real downside to pottery. Pressing squishing, forming hand-warm, wet clay, showing off your skillful hands... and you learn a valuable skill to make yourself useful after the bomb falls. Go pottery! ;)

          Agh! Reality! My Archnemesis![^]
          | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server.

          modified on Saturday, March 20, 2010 11:45 AM

          CPalliniC 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • J Jeremy Falcon

            Abhinav S wrote:

            I realised I'm just not good at being social (definitely not in the real world).

            It's like riding a bike. You get better at it with more practice. With more practice, you'll be more comfortable. The more comfortable you are, the more free your mind is to think about stuff to talk about and/or goof around. Just don't quit on it. There are a ton of interesting people in the world to meet. And, very few things are as cool as walking into a bar/pub/whatever and have so many people there know you and like you - to the point it feels more like home than some strange place.

            Jeremy Falcon

            P Offline
            P Offline
            peterchen
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Jeremy Falcon wrote:

            And, very few things are as cool as walking into a bar/pub/whatever and have so many people there know you and like you - to the point it feels more like home than some strange place.

            You are dating your drinking buddies??

            Agh! Reality! My Archnemesis![^]
            | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server.

            J 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • A Abhinav S

              So I went out on a real DATE today - screwed it up real bad. I realised I'm just not good at being social (definitely not in the real world). All the while I kept thinking I might have fared better if I spent more time in the real world instead of being on the computer. Anyway, I also decided that as an antidote, I'd get back to the internet and post my "disappointing" little taste of the "real world" on CP. I'm now going to consume a few beers and go off to sleep early today. :sigh:

              "Be brave little warrior, be VERY brave" - Adriaan Davel

              CPalliniC Offline
              CPalliniC Offline
              CPallini
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Abhinav S wrote:

              I'm now going to consume a few beers and go off to sleep early today.

              Real world :beer:, of course: virtual one really sucks... :)

              If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
              This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
              [My articles]

              In testa che avete, signor di Ceprano?

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • P peterchen

                You could also be a better shit shoveler if you'd shovel shit more often. Like interviews, dates are designed suck. They may be the right thing for people deriving fulfilment from grooming their plume, and need positive reinforcement. For some people - like me who at age 14 thought "why do people make such a fuss about dressing up for cinema? Most of the time it's dark anyway!" - it's just a ritual of pretense and someone taking that serious annoys me seriously. Alternative: activities. Whether it's pottery or a casual cycling group doesn't matter. (It helps if you enjoy it). Other alternative: get a dog. It's cliché, but it scary how well it works. The local shelter is usually happy about someone walking one of the dogs from time to time. Disadvantage: you are likely to end up with someone and a dog. There's no real downside to pottery. Pressing squishing, forming hand-warm, wet clay, showing off your skillful hands... and you learn a valuable skill to make yourself useful after the bomb falls. Go pottery! ;)

                Agh! Reality! My Archnemesis![^]
                | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server.

                modified on Saturday, March 20, 2010 11:45 AM

                CPalliniC Offline
                CPalliniC Offline
                CPallini
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                peterchen wrote:

                Other alternative: get a dog

                My dates with the dog were really a failure... :rolleyes:

                If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                [My articles]

                In testa che avete, signor di Ceprano?

                P M R 3 Replies Last reply
                0
                • R Rajesh R Subramanian

                  Try one of those "virtual world" games. You might do better. :) BTW, sorry to know you suck at socialising with others (in real world). Me too Ugh... I mean - a friend of mine is like that too.

                  “Follow your bliss.” – Joseph Campbell

                  V Offline
                  V Offline
                  Vikram A Punathambekar
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Rajesh R Subramanian wrote:

                  BTW, sorry to know you suck at socialising with others (in real world). Me too Ugh... I mean - a friend of mine is like that too.

                  How dare you rat on me?!? :mad: I told you to keep it to yourself! :mad:

                  Cheers, Vikram. (Got my troika of CCCs!)

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • A Abhinav S

                    So I went out on a real DATE today - screwed it up real bad. I realised I'm just not good at being social (definitely not in the real world). All the while I kept thinking I might have fared better if I spent more time in the real world instead of being on the computer. Anyway, I also decided that as an antidote, I'd get back to the internet and post my "disappointing" little taste of the "real world" on CP. I'm now going to consume a few beers and go off to sleep early today. :sigh:

                    "Be brave little warrior, be VERY brave" - Adriaan Davel

                    M Offline
                    M Offline
                    Member 96
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Here are a few things that you might find helpful: 0) Learn to have absolutely no expectations. Don't anticipate anything, good or bad, just go with the flow. Practice this, learn it, it's one of the most valuable skills in life for social situations. 1) Be genuine and authentic i.e. be yourself. There is nothing more precious or highly regarded in these times than authenticity. Being yourself, being authentic at all times will ensure you always end up with exactly the right people for you. Even people that are completely different in personality and interests will always appreciate and be happy to know someone who is truly authentic and genuine at all times. Trust yourself to let go and be yourself, don't try to be anything you are not. 2) Go on a lot of dates. Dating is a skill and like any skill it only gets better when it's practiced and developed. Accept that it might take you a *lot* of dates before you feel like you are more successful at it, however if you really work on item 1 above it will take far less. 3) Nothing is ever as bad (or as good) in hindsight as you think it was. Generally speaking when someone out of social practice thinks a situation went badly it probably went a factor of 100 or more less badly than it did in their mind. Independent corroboration always confirms this. Learn to stop thinking about yourself and what you are saying or doing and focus outwards on the people you are with. Doing that will ensure you have a better idea of how things are going and will almost inevitably ensure they go better.


                    Yesterday they said today was tomorrow but today they know better. - Poul Anderson

                    J L P A D 5 Replies Last reply
                    0
                    • P peterchen

                      Jeremy Falcon wrote:

                      And, very few things are as cool as walking into a bar/pub/whatever and have so many people there know you and like you - to the point it feels more like home than some strange place.

                      You are dating your drinking buddies??

                      Agh! Reality! My Archnemesis![^]
                      | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server.

                      J Offline
                      J Offline
                      Jeremy Falcon
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      peterchen wrote:

                      You are dating your drinking buddies??

                      :laugh: Um, no, I mean knowing the employees and the regulars there. Maybe pick a up chick every now and then. That sorta stuff. It just makes for a better time and environment than feeling like you're in some strange place.

                      Jeremy Falcon

                      D 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • M Member 96

                        Here are a few things that you might find helpful: 0) Learn to have absolutely no expectations. Don't anticipate anything, good or bad, just go with the flow. Practice this, learn it, it's one of the most valuable skills in life for social situations. 1) Be genuine and authentic i.e. be yourself. There is nothing more precious or highly regarded in these times than authenticity. Being yourself, being authentic at all times will ensure you always end up with exactly the right people for you. Even people that are completely different in personality and interests will always appreciate and be happy to know someone who is truly authentic and genuine at all times. Trust yourself to let go and be yourself, don't try to be anything you are not. 2) Go on a lot of dates. Dating is a skill and like any skill it only gets better when it's practiced and developed. Accept that it might take you a *lot* of dates before you feel like you are more successful at it, however if you really work on item 1 above it will take far less. 3) Nothing is ever as bad (or as good) in hindsight as you think it was. Generally speaking when someone out of social practice thinks a situation went badly it probably went a factor of 100 or more less badly than it did in their mind. Independent corroboration always confirms this. Learn to stop thinking about yourself and what you are saying or doing and focus outwards on the people you are with. Doing that will ensure you have a better idea of how things are going and will almost inevitably ensure they go better.


                        Yesterday they said today was tomorrow but today they know better. - Poul Anderson

                        J Offline
                        J Offline
                        Jeremy Falcon
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        John C wrote:

                        Learn to have absolutely no expectations. Don't anticipate anything, good or bad, just go with the flow. Practice this, learn it, it's one of the most valuable skills in life for social situations.

                        5 for that! It's so true.

                        Jeremy Falcon

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • CPalliniC CPallini

                          peterchen wrote:

                          Other alternative: get a dog

                          My dates with the dog were really a failure... :rolleyes:

                          If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                          This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                          [My articles]

                          P Offline
                          P Offline
                          peterchen
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          Going by Jeremy's advice, you just should try it more often ;)

                          Agh! Reality! My Archnemesis![^]
                          | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server.

                          CPalliniC 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • CPalliniC CPallini

                            peterchen wrote:

                            Other alternative: get a dog

                            My dates with the dog were really a failure... :rolleyes:

                            If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                            This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                            [My articles]

                            M Offline
                            M Offline
                            Mustafa Ismail Mustafa
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            I hear you can have a bitch of a time...

                            If the post was helpful, please vote, eh! Current activities: Book: Devils by Fyodor Dostoyevsky Project: Hospital Automation, final stage Learning: Image analysis, LINQ Now and forever, defiant to the end. What is Multiple Sclerosis[^]?

                            G 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • P peterchen

                              Going by Jeremy's advice, you just should try it more often ;)

                              Agh! Reality! My Archnemesis![^]
                              | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server.

                              CPalliniC Offline
                              CPalliniC Offline
                              CPallini
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              Can you persuade a dog for me? :-D

                              If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                              This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                              [My articles]

                              In testa che avete, signor di Ceprano?

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • R Rajesh R Subramanian

                                Try one of those "virtual world" games. You might do better. :) BTW, sorry to know you suck at socialising with others (in real world). Me too Ugh... I mean - a friend of mine is like that too.

                                “Follow your bliss.” – Joseph Campbell

                                CPalliniC Offline
                                CPalliniC Offline
                                CPallini
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                I'm not your friend. :-\

                                If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                                This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                                [My articles]

                                In testa che avete, signor di Ceprano?

                                R 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • A Abhinav S

                                  So I went out on a real DATE today - screwed it up real bad. I realised I'm just not good at being social (definitely not in the real world). All the while I kept thinking I might have fared better if I spent more time in the real world instead of being on the computer. Anyway, I also decided that as an antidote, I'd get back to the internet and post my "disappointing" little taste of the "real world" on CP. I'm now going to consume a few beers and go off to sleep early today. :sigh:

                                  "Be brave little warrior, be VERY brave" - Adriaan Davel

                                  L Offline
                                  L Offline
                                  leppie
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  Yeah, so I been trying to 'handy' lately. Today I pickup my Dremel, that I only have used 5 times or so, has a dead battery :( Lucky though, they allowed me to 'upgrade' to an electric one for a little more. :)

                                  xacc.ide
                                  IronScheme - 1.0 RC 1 - out now!
                                  ((λ (x) `(,x ',x)) '(λ (x) `(,x ',x))) The Scheme Programming Language – Fourth Edition

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • CPalliniC CPallini

                                    peterchen wrote:

                                    Other alternative: get a dog

                                    My dates with the dog were really a failure... :rolleyes:

                                    If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                                    This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                                    [My articles]

                                    R Offline
                                    R Offline
                                    Rajesh R Subramanian
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    Clearly, Italian dogs are similar to the Indian ones. :((

                                    “Follow your bliss.” – Joseph Campbell

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • CPalliniC CPallini

                                      I'm not your friend. :-\

                                      If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                                      This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                                      [My articles]

                                      R Offline
                                      R Offline
                                      Rajesh R Subramanian
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      May be, but you still suck at socialising. :-\ :)

                                      “Follow your bliss.” – Joseph Campbell

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • M Member 96

                                        Here are a few things that you might find helpful: 0) Learn to have absolutely no expectations. Don't anticipate anything, good or bad, just go with the flow. Practice this, learn it, it's one of the most valuable skills in life for social situations. 1) Be genuine and authentic i.e. be yourself. There is nothing more precious or highly regarded in these times than authenticity. Being yourself, being authentic at all times will ensure you always end up with exactly the right people for you. Even people that are completely different in personality and interests will always appreciate and be happy to know someone who is truly authentic and genuine at all times. Trust yourself to let go and be yourself, don't try to be anything you are not. 2) Go on a lot of dates. Dating is a skill and like any skill it only gets better when it's practiced and developed. Accept that it might take you a *lot* of dates before you feel like you are more successful at it, however if you really work on item 1 above it will take far less. 3) Nothing is ever as bad (or as good) in hindsight as you think it was. Generally speaking when someone out of social practice thinks a situation went badly it probably went a factor of 100 or more less badly than it did in their mind. Independent corroboration always confirms this. Learn to stop thinking about yourself and what you are saying or doing and focus outwards on the people you are with. Doing that will ensure you have a better idea of how things are going and will almost inevitably ensure they go better.


                                        Yesterday they said today was tomorrow but today they know better. - Poul Anderson

                                        L Offline
                                        L Offline
                                        Lutoslaw
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        John C wrote:

                                        1. Go on a lot of dates. Dating is a skill and like any skill it only gets better when it's practiced and developed. Accept that it might take you a *lot* of dates before you feel like you are more successful at it, however if you really work on item 1 above it will take far less.

                                        Alternatively, you can go and find a true love and then no skill will be required (really!). :-\

                                        Greetings - Jacek

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • M Member 96

                                          Here are a few things that you might find helpful: 0) Learn to have absolutely no expectations. Don't anticipate anything, good or bad, just go with the flow. Practice this, learn it, it's one of the most valuable skills in life for social situations. 1) Be genuine and authentic i.e. be yourself. There is nothing more precious or highly regarded in these times than authenticity. Being yourself, being authentic at all times will ensure you always end up with exactly the right people for you. Even people that are completely different in personality and interests will always appreciate and be happy to know someone who is truly authentic and genuine at all times. Trust yourself to let go and be yourself, don't try to be anything you are not. 2) Go on a lot of dates. Dating is a skill and like any skill it only gets better when it's practiced and developed. Accept that it might take you a *lot* of dates before you feel like you are more successful at it, however if you really work on item 1 above it will take far less. 3) Nothing is ever as bad (or as good) in hindsight as you think it was. Generally speaking when someone out of social practice thinks a situation went badly it probably went a factor of 100 or more less badly than it did in their mind. Independent corroboration always confirms this. Learn to stop thinking about yourself and what you are saying or doing and focus outwards on the people you are with. Doing that will ensure you have a better idea of how things are going and will almost inevitably ensure they go better.


                                          Yesterday they said today was tomorrow but today they know better. - Poul Anderson

                                          P Offline
                                          P Offline
                                          peterchen
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          5 for "no expectations", 1 for "go on many dates". I gave you a four, because I'm not that un-nice ;)

                                          Agh! Reality! My Archnemesis![^]
                                          | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server.

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