JOTD
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A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one. Traffic Cop: Don't have one? Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving. Traffic Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.. Older Woman: I can't do that. Traffic Cop: Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Traffic Cop: Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Traffic Cop: You what!? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Older woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?! Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am? Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The traffic cop is quite stunned. Officer 2: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license quizzically. Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner! Older Woman: Bet the lying one told you I was speeding, too.
WWW, WCF, WWF, WPF, WFC .... WTF
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A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one. Traffic Cop: Don't have one? Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving. Traffic Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.. Older Woman: I can't do that. Traffic Cop: Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Traffic Cop: Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Traffic Cop: You what!? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Older woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?! Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am? Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The traffic cop is quite stunned. Officer 2: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license quizzically. Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner! Older Woman: Bet the lying one told you I was speeding, too.
WWW, WCF, WWF, WPF, WFC .... WTF
A very old oldie.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
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A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one. Traffic Cop: Don't have one? Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving. Traffic Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.. Older Woman: I can't do that. Traffic Cop: Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Traffic Cop: Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Traffic Cop: You what!? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Older woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?! Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am? Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The traffic cop is quite stunned. Officer 2: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license quizzically. Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner! Older Woman: Bet the lying one told you I was speeding, too.
WWW, WCF, WWF, WPF, WFC .... WTF
I first read that when it was in Latin.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
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I first read that when it was in Latin.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
Showing your age there, Dave.
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I first read that when it was in Latin.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
In Latin? They already had licenses for roman chariots?
A while ago he asked me what he should have printed on my business cards. I said 'Wizard'. I read books which nobody else understand. Then I do something which nobody understands. After that the computer does something which nobody understands. When asked, I say things about the results which nobody understand. But everybody expects miracles from me on a regular basis. Looks to me like the classical definition of a wizard.
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Showing your age there, Dave.
Verily. I was a SYSOP on mainframes back when dinosaurs ruled the Earth.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
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In Latin? They already had licenses for roman chariots?
A while ago he asked me what he should have printed on my business cards. I said 'Wizard'. I read books which nobody else understand. Then I do something which nobody understands. After that the computer does something which nobody understands. When asked, I say things about the results which nobody understand. But everybody expects miracles from me on a regular basis. Looks to me like the classical definition of a wizard.
Oh yes. You had to go to the local office and have a sculpture made, then register with the the Magister for the right to drive one. Seriously, the last Hansom Cab license was issued in 1947 (see here[^])
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
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Oh yes. You had to go to the local office and have a sculpture made, then register with the the Magister for the right to drive one. Seriously, the last Hansom Cab license was issued in 1947 (see here[^])
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
Sure, around here some local breweries still have draft horses for special occasions such as festivals. To keep the horses fit, they often make local deliveries with a traditional wagon drawn by their horses.
A while ago he asked me what he should have printed on my business cards. I said 'Wizard'. I read books which nobody else understand. Then I do something which nobody understands. After that the computer does something which nobody understands. When asked, I say things about the results which nobody understand. But everybody expects miracles from me on a regular basis. Looks to me like the classical definition of a wizard.
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Sure, around here some local breweries still have draft horses for special occasions such as festivals. To keep the horses fit, they often make local deliveries with a traditional wagon drawn by their horses.
A while ago he asked me what he should have printed on my business cards. I said 'Wizard'. I read books which nobody else understand. Then I do something which nobody understands. After that the computer does something which nobody understands. When asked, I say things about the results which nobody understand. But everybody expects miracles from me on a regular basis. Looks to me like the classical definition of a wizard.
CDP1802 wrote:
To keep the horses fit, they often make local deliveries with a traditional wagon drawn by their horses.
Same here. When I see one it always makes me smile, I don't really know why.
Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” Why do programmers often confuse Halloween and Christmas? - Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec. Business Myths of the Geek #4 'What you think matters.'
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CDP1802 wrote:
To keep the horses fit, they often make local deliveries with a traditional wagon drawn by their horses.
Same here. When I see one it always makes me smile, I don't really know why.
Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” Why do programmers often confuse Halloween and Christmas? - Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec. Business Myths of the Geek #4 'What you think matters.'
Have a smile, then http://www.ich-warte.de/Lich.htm This is the decorated wagon for special occasions, of course.
A while ago he asked me what he should have printed on my business cards. I said 'Wizard'. I read books which nobody else understand. Then I do something which nobody understands. After that the computer does something which nobody understands. When asked, I say things about the results which nobody understand. But everybody expects miracles from me on a regular basis. Looks to me like the classical definition of a wizard.
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In Latin? They already had licenses for roman chariots?
A while ago he asked me what he should have printed on my business cards. I said 'Wizard'. I read books which nobody else understand. Then I do something which nobody understands. After that the computer does something which nobody understands. When asked, I say things about the results which nobody understand. But everybody expects miracles from me on a regular basis. Looks to me like the classical definition of a wizard.
Not only licences. They had self diagnostic capabilities too. These were fairly simplistic devices compared to those on modern automobiles. I suppose the most well known variant, which they all had, was the one where the vehicle would not move if any of the wheel bearings had been rumbling.
Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” Why do programmers often confuse Halloween and Christmas? - Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec. Business Myths of the Geek #4 'What you think matters.'
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Have a smile, then http://www.ich-warte.de/Lich.htm This is the decorated wagon for special occasions, of course.
A while ago he asked me what he should have printed on my business cards. I said 'Wizard'. I read books which nobody else understand. Then I do something which nobody understands. After that the computer does something which nobody understands. When asked, I say things about the results which nobody understand. But everybody expects miracles from me on a regular basis. Looks to me like the classical definition of a wizard.
That did indeed make me smile. For the wrong reasons, however. Your link leads straight back here. :-D Clickety police[^]
Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” Why do programmers often confuse Halloween and Christmas? - Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec. Business Myths of the Geek #4 'What you think matters.'
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That did indeed make me smile. For the wrong reasons, however. Your link leads straight back here. :-D Clickety police[^]
Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” Why do programmers often confuse Halloween and Christmas? - Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec. Business Myths of the Geek #4 'What you think matters.'
Sorry about that, I just noticed the strange link myself. I just copied it and put it in link tags. But I would give something for one of those barrels on the wagon right now.
A while ago he asked me what he should have printed on my business cards. I said 'Wizard'. I read books which nobody else understand. Then I do something which nobody understands. After that the computer does something which nobody understands. When asked, I say things about the results which nobody understand. But everybody expects miracles from me on a regular basis. Looks to me like the classical definition of a wizard.