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Male Wisdoms

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  • I Ian Write

    When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...' There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly. Virginity can be cured. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the hole, and she was happy with the thing. Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed' many men still sleep with their wives.

    L Offline
    L Offline
    Lost User
    wrote on last edited by
    #10

    hahaha :)

    MVC

    OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • M Michael Schubert

      You really like having the last word, don't you Dave? ;P

      Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

      L Offline
      L Offline
      Lost User
      wrote on last edited by
      #11

      and lame

      MVC

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • T thatraja

        Michael Schubert wrote:

        Why?

        Lounge rating, I can see @ Soapbox

        Michael Schubert wrote:

        Because it's boring?

        No

        thatraja |Chennai|India|


        Tips/Tricks|Brainbench certifications

        Do what you want quickly because the Doomsday on 2012 :-)

        M Offline
        M Offline
        Michael Schubert
        wrote on last edited by
        #12

        thatraja wrote:

        Lounge rating, I can see @ Soapbox

        :confused::confused:

        Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • M Michael Schubert

          You really like having the last word, don't you Dave? ;P

          Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

          D Offline
          D Offline
          Dalek Dave
          wrote on last edited by
          #13

          I find myself unable to answer that! :)

          ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

          F 1 Reply Last reply
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          • D Dalek Dave

            Or in a forum that is designed for humourless gags?

            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

            OriginalGriffO Offline
            OriginalGriffO Offline
            OriginalGriff
            wrote on last edited by
            #14

            Ah - this one?[^] Or This one?[^]

            Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.

            "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
            "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

            M 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • L Lost User

              hahaha :)

              MVC

              OriginalGriffO Offline
              OriginalGriffO Offline
              OriginalGriff
              wrote on last edited by
              #15

              I take it you are either very young, or very easily pleased?

              Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.

              "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
              "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

              F 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • D Dalek Dave

                Or in a forum that is designed for humourless gags?

                ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                L Offline
                L Offline
                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #16

                ...fit for only 12 year olds who find penis jokes very ammusing.

                Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                  Ah - this one?[^] Or This one?[^]

                  Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.

                  M Offline
                  M Offline
                  Michael Schubert
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #17

                  Check out the latest topic on GIT. The Alphabet thingie.

                  Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

                  D 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • M Michael Schubert

                    Check out the latest topic on GIT. The Alphabet thingie.

                    Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

                    D Offline
                    D Offline
                    Dalek Dave
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #18

                    The Dehli Branch of Jongleurs must be a hoot.

                    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                    M 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • D Dalek Dave

                      The Dehli Branch of Jongleurs must be a hoot.

                      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                      M Offline
                      M Offline
                      Michael Schubert
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #19

                      :-D :-D

                      Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • D Dalek Dave

                        I find myself unable to answer that! :)

                        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                        F Offline
                        F Offline
                        fjdiewornncalwe
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #20

                        That's a pretty limp response.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                          I take it you are either very young, or very easily pleased?

                          Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.

                          F Offline
                          F Offline
                          fjdiewornncalwe
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #21

                          ... or the prototypical computer geek ...

                          L 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • F fjdiewornncalwe

                            ... or the prototypical computer geek ...

                            L Offline
                            L Offline
                            Lost User
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #22

                            monkeys all round. your a winner ding ding.

                            MVC

                            1 Reply Last reply
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