Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Code Project
  1. Home
  2. Other Discussions
  3. The Soapbox
  4. PRJOTD

PRJOTD

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Soapbox
phpcomtoolsquestion
5 Posts 5 Posters 0 Views 1 Watching
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • P Offline
    P Offline
    Pete OHanlon
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    While I was driving along the M4 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been). I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk, asked: "Runway too short?" To which I replied, "I'm late for work." To which he asked, "What do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded. The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet." Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?" To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..." Speeding ticket: £105.00 and 3 points Court costs: £45 Look on copper's face: Priceless.

    I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

    Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

    My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

    H O K K 4 Replies Last reply
    0
    • P Pete OHanlon

      While I was driving along the M4 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been). I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk, asked: "Runway too short?" To which I replied, "I'm late for work." To which he asked, "What do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded. The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet." Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?" To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..." Speeding ticket: £105.00 and 3 points Court costs: £45 Look on copper's face: Priceless.

      I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

      Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

      My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

      H Offline
      H Offline
      HimanshuJoshi
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      :laugh:

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • P Pete OHanlon

        While I was driving along the M4 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been). I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk, asked: "Runway too short?" To which I replied, "I'm late for work." To which he asked, "What do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded. The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet." Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?" To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..." Speeding ticket: £105.00 and 3 points Court costs: £45 Look on copper's face: Priceless.

        I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

        Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

        My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

        O Offline
        O Offline
        Oakman
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        :thumbsup:

        “The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” ~ H.L. Mencken

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • P Pete OHanlon

          While I was driving along the M4 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been). I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk, asked: "Runway too short?" To which I replied, "I'm late for work." To which he asked, "What do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded. The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet." Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?" To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..." Speeding ticket: £105.00 and 3 points Court costs: £45 Look on copper's face: Priceless.

          I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

          Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

          My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

          K Offline
          K Offline
          Kunal Chowdhury IN
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          :thumbsup:

          Please Vote for the Articles and/or Posts that you like.


          Kunal Chowdhury (Microsoft MVP (Silverlight) | CodeProject MVP | Follow My Blog | Follow Silverlight-Zone | Follow Me @ Twitter)

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • P Pete OHanlon

            While I was driving along the M4 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been). I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk, asked: "Runway too short?" To which I replied, "I'm late for work." To which he asked, "What do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded. The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet." Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?" To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..." Speeding ticket: £105.00 and 3 points Court costs: £45 Look on copper's face: Priceless.

            I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

            Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

            My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

            K Offline
            K Offline
            Kasson
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Nice one. My 5 too.

            With Regards, Kasson. Birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            Reply
            • Reply as topic
            Log in to reply
            • Oldest to Newest
            • Newest to Oldest
            • Most Votes


            • Login

            • Don't have an account? Register

            • Login or register to search.
            • First post
              Last post
            0
            • Categories
            • Recent
            • Tags
            • Popular
            • World
            • Users
            • Groups