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  3. JOTD ??

JOTD ??

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • A Offline
    A Offline
    AndyInUK
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Anyone ??

    R C M E 4 Replies Last reply
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    • A AndyInUK

      Anyone ??

      R Offline
      R Offline
      R Giskard Reventlov
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Is that it? I don't get it. What's the punchline???

      "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

      A 1 Reply Last reply
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      • A AndyInUK

        Anyone ??

        C Offline
        C Offline
        CMullikin
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Well, I'm gonna guess that this has already been posted before, but if not, that's fine too. Since I mentioned jokes about the Navy earlier... A sailor and a marine walk into a public restroom. They both use the urinal and flush at the same time. The marine immediately turns towards the door to leave. The sailor says, "In the Navy, they taught us to wash our hands after going to the bathroom." The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they taught us not to piss on our hands."

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        • A AndyInUK

          Anyone ??

          M Offline
          M Offline
          Michael Schubert
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Excellent. Got more?

          Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

          D 1 Reply Last reply
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          • M Michael Schubert

            Excellent. Got more?

            Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

            D Offline
            D Offline
            Dalek Dave
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Oh please no!

            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

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            • C CMullikin

              Well, I'm gonna guess that this has already been posted before, but if not, that's fine too. Since I mentioned jokes about the Navy earlier... A sailor and a marine walk into a public restroom. They both use the urinal and flush at the same time. The marine immediately turns towards the door to leave. The sailor says, "In the Navy, they taught us to wash our hands after going to the bathroom." The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they taught us not to piss on our hands."

              C Offline
              C Offline
              Corporal Agarn
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Do not know about re-post or not, but this is VERY old. Insert any two people, I think I heard it about teachers.

              B 1 Reply Last reply
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              • A AndyInUK

                Anyone ??

                E Offline
                E Offline
                Ennis Ray Lynch Jr
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Why does country X (insert your own brand of elitism here) have glass bottom boats in their Navy? So they can see their Air Force.

                Need custom software developed? I do custom programming based primarily on MS tools with an emphasis on C# development and consulting. I also do Android Programming as I find it a refreshing break from the MS. "And they, since they Were not the one dead, turned to their affairs" -- Robert Frost

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                • E Ennis Ray Lynch Jr

                  Why does country X (insert your own brand of elitism here) have glass bottom boats in their Navy? So they can see their Air Force.

                  Need custom software developed? I do custom programming based primarily on MS tools with an emphasis on C# development and consulting. I also do Android Programming as I find it a refreshing break from the MS. "And they, since they Were not the one dead, turned to their affairs" -- Robert Frost

                  R Offline
                  R Offline
                  R Giskard Reventlov
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Why do France and Italy have glass bottom boats in their Navy? FTFY

                  "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • E Ennis Ray Lynch Jr

                    Why does country X (insert your own brand of elitism here) have glass bottom boats in their Navy? So they can see their Air Force.

                    Need custom software developed? I do custom programming based primarily on MS tools with an emphasis on C# development and consulting. I also do Android Programming as I find it a refreshing break from the MS. "And they, since they Were not the one dead, turned to their affairs" -- Robert Frost

                    D Offline
                    D Offline
                    Dalek Dave
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Another golden oldie.

                    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • C Corporal Agarn

                      Do not know about re-post or not, but this is VERY old. Insert any two people, I think I heard it about teachers.

                      B Offline
                      B Offline
                      Bergholt Stuttley Johnson
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      I believe it is attributed to Winston Churchill

                      You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.

                      H C 2 Replies Last reply
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                      • R R Giskard Reventlov

                        Is that it? I don't get it. What's the punchline???

                        "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

                        A Offline
                        A Offline
                        AndyInUK
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        You are not too clever, are you? lol well i meant - does anyone knows any good joke that can be JOTD ?

                        R 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • B Bergholt Stuttley Johnson

                          I believe it is attributed to Winston Churchill

                          You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.

                          H Offline
                          H Offline
                          Henry Minute
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          As is any pithy or witty saying from the first half of the twentieth century.

                          Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus! When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is.

                          B 1 Reply Last reply
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                          • H Henry Minute

                            As is any pithy or witty saying from the first half of the twentieth century.

                            Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus! When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is.

                            B Offline
                            B Offline
                            Bergholt Stuttley Johnson
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            he did produce quite a few didnt he

                            You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • B Bergholt Stuttley Johnson

                              I believe it is attributed to Winston Churchill

                              You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.

                              C Offline
                              C Offline
                              CMullikin
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              Yep. Just found what is apparently the original dialogue. Not sure at what point in his life Churchill was. Young man (after seeing Churchill leave the bathroom without washing his hands): "At Eton, they taught us to wash our hands after using the toilet." Churchill: "At Harrow, they taught us not to piss on our hands."

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                              • A AndyInUK

                                You are not too clever, are you? lol well i meant - does anyone knows any good joke that can be JOTD ?

                                R Offline
                                R Offline
                                R Giskard Reventlov
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                Oh how I wish there were a sarcasm smiley but I have a feeling that would have also passed you by. :)

                                "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

                                R 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • E Ennis Ray Lynch Jr

                                  Why does country X (insert your own brand of elitism here) have glass bottom boats in their Navy? So they can see their Air Force.

                                  Need custom software developed? I do custom programming based primarily on MS tools with an emphasis on C# development and consulting. I also do Android Programming as I find it a refreshing break from the MS. "And they, since they Were not the one dead, turned to their affairs" -- Robert Frost

                                  C Offline
                                  C Offline
                                  clientSurfer
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  A just-as-old variation on this (I'm Polish so I'm gonna take one for the team on this) is: Why does the new Polish navy have glass bottom boats? So they can see the old Polish navy!

                                  L 1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • C clientSurfer

                                    A just-as-old variation on this (I'm Polish so I'm gonna take one for the team on this) is: Why does the new Polish navy have glass bottom boats? So they can see the old Polish navy!

                                    L Offline
                                    L Offline
                                    Lost User
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    Swap Italian for Polish and that is how I first heard it too. Along with "Have you heard about the new Italian tanks? 1 gear forwards and 4 in reverse" and such similar.

                                    Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

                                    C B 2 Replies Last reply
                                    0
                                    • L Lost User

                                      Swap Italian for Polish and that is how I first heard it too. Along with "Have you heard about the new Italian tanks? 1 gear forwards and 4 in reverse" and such similar.

                                      Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

                                      C Offline
                                      C Offline
                                      clientSurfer
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      :laugh:

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • R R Giskard Reventlov

                                        Oh how I wish there were a sarcasm smiley but I have a feeling that would have also passed you by. :)

                                        "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

                                        R Offline
                                        R Offline
                                        Rage
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        His reply was the joke. We definitely need that sarcasm icon.

                                        R 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • L Lost User

                                          Swap Italian for Polish and that is how I first heard it too. Along with "Have you heard about the new Italian tanks? 1 gear forwards and 4 in reverse" and such similar.

                                          Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

                                          B Offline
                                          B Offline
                                          Bergholt Stuttley Johnson
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          when asked why the tanks had 4 reverse gears and 1 forward the general replied well me might get attacked from behind

                                          You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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