JOTD ??
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Excellent. Got more?
Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx
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Well, I'm gonna guess that this has already been posted before, but if not, that's fine too. Since I mentioned jokes about the Navy earlier... A sailor and a marine walk into a public restroom. They both use the urinal and flush at the same time. The marine immediately turns towards the door to leave. The sailor says, "In the Navy, they taught us to wash our hands after going to the bathroom." The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they taught us not to piss on our hands."
Do not know about re-post or not, but this is VERY old. Insert any two people, I think I heard it about teachers.
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Why does country X (insert your own brand of elitism here) have glass bottom boats in their Navy? So they can see their Air Force.
Need custom software developed? I do custom programming based primarily on MS tools with an emphasis on C# development and consulting. I also do Android Programming as I find it a refreshing break from the MS. "And they, since they Were not the one dead, turned to their affairs" -- Robert Frost
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Why does country X (insert your own brand of elitism here) have glass bottom boats in their Navy? So they can see their Air Force.
Need custom software developed? I do custom programming based primarily on MS tools with an emphasis on C# development and consulting. I also do Android Programming as I find it a refreshing break from the MS. "And they, since they Were not the one dead, turned to their affairs" -- Robert Frost
Why do France and Italy have glass bottom boats in their Navy? FTFY
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
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Why does country X (insert your own brand of elitism here) have glass bottom boats in their Navy? So they can see their Air Force.
Need custom software developed? I do custom programming based primarily on MS tools with an emphasis on C# development and consulting. I also do Android Programming as I find it a refreshing break from the MS. "And they, since they Were not the one dead, turned to their affairs" -- Robert Frost
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Do not know about re-post or not, but this is VERY old. Insert any two people, I think I heard it about teachers.
I believe it is attributed to Winston Churchill
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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Is that it? I don't get it. What's the punchline???
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
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I believe it is attributed to Winston Churchill
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
As is any pithy or witty saying from the first half of the twentieth century.
Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus! When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is.
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As is any pithy or witty saying from the first half of the twentieth century.
Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus! When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is.
he did produce quite a few didnt he
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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I believe it is attributed to Winston Churchill
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
Yep. Just found what is apparently the original dialogue. Not sure at what point in his life Churchill was. Young man (after seeing Churchill leave the bathroom without washing his hands): "At Eton, they taught us to wash our hands after using the toilet." Churchill: "At Harrow, they taught us not to piss on our hands."
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You are not too clever, are you? lol well i meant - does anyone knows any good joke that can be JOTD ?
Oh how I wish there were a sarcasm smiley but I have a feeling that would have also passed you by. :)
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
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Why does country X (insert your own brand of elitism here) have glass bottom boats in their Navy? So they can see their Air Force.
Need custom software developed? I do custom programming based primarily on MS tools with an emphasis on C# development and consulting. I also do Android Programming as I find it a refreshing break from the MS. "And they, since they Were not the one dead, turned to their affairs" -- Robert Frost
A just-as-old variation on this (I'm Polish so I'm gonna take one for the team on this) is: Why does the new Polish navy have glass bottom boats? So they can see the old Polish navy!
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A just-as-old variation on this (I'm Polish so I'm gonna take one for the team on this) is: Why does the new Polish navy have glass bottom boats? So they can see the old Polish navy!
Swap Italian for Polish and that is how I first heard it too. Along with "Have you heard about the new Italian tanks? 1 gear forwards and 4 in reverse" and such similar.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
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Swap Italian for Polish and that is how I first heard it too. Along with "Have you heard about the new Italian tanks? 1 gear forwards and 4 in reverse" and such similar.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
:laugh:
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Oh how I wish there were a sarcasm smiley but I have a feeling that would have also passed you by. :)
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
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Swap Italian for Polish and that is how I first heard it too. Along with "Have you heard about the new Italian tanks? 1 gear forwards and 4 in reverse" and such similar.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
when asked why the tanks had 4 reverse gears and 1 forward the general replied well me might get attacked from behind
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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Well, I'm gonna guess that this has already been posted before, but if not, that's fine too. Since I mentioned jokes about the Navy earlier... A sailor and a marine walk into a public restroom. They both use the urinal and flush at the same time. The marine immediately turns towards the door to leave. The sailor says, "In the Navy, they taught us to wash our hands after going to the bathroom." The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they taught us not to piss on our hands."
Hmm... That's the short version. The last time I heard that one, it included an Army sergeant, Navy petty officer, Air Force staff sergeant, and a Marine sergeant.
Software Zen:
delete this; -
Hmm... That's the short version. The last time I heard that one, it included an Army sergeant, Navy petty officer, Air Force staff sergeant, and a Marine sergeant.
Software Zen:
delete this; -
No, my initial response was the joke, his next response was becuase he didn't get my joke, I then responded... oh, never mind.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
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Please elaborate... :)
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill
An Army sergeant, Navy petty officer, Air Force staff sergeant, and a Marine sergeant find themselves at the sinks in a men's room at the Pentagon. The Air Force staff sergeant, feeling a little defensive in the presence of the other soldiers, announces that "in the Air Force, we're taught to wash our hands for 15 seconds to ensure we don't spread bacteria to our pilots". The Army sergeant chuckles and replies "well, in the Army we wash our hands twice. Don't want to pass any germs on to the other troops, you know!" The Navy petty officer, not wanting to be left out, says "Hah! In the Navy we wash our hands twice, for 20 seconds each time!" The Marine sergeant grunts in disgust and tells the other three "In the Marines, we learn not to piss on our hands!" as he walks past the sinks and out the door.
Software Zen:
delete this;