Why God Created Children
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WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN) To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!" "Don't what?" Adam replied. "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!!!!!" "No Way!" "Yes way!" "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God. "Why" "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked. "Uh huh," Adam replied. "Then why did you?" said the Father. "I don't know," said Eve. "She started it!" Adam said "Did not!" "Did too!" "DID NOT!" Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you? THINGS TO THINK ABOUT! 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children. 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young. 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own. 6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in. ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day. AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
You do trust me, don't you?
Great Ben! 5ed! LOL!
[www.tamelectromecanica.com] Robots, CNC and PLC machines for grinding and polishing.
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WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN) To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!" "Don't what?" Adam replied. "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!!!!!" "No Way!" "Yes way!" "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God. "Why" "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked. "Uh huh," Adam replied. "Then why did you?" said the Father. "I don't know," said Eve. "She started it!" Adam said "Did not!" "Did too!" "DID NOT!" Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you? THINGS TO THINK ABOUT! 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children. 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young. 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own. 6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in. ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day. AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
You do trust me, don't you?
Ben Breeg wrote:
"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning. Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow.
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WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN) To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!" "Don't what?" Adam replied. "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!!!!!" "No Way!" "Yes way!" "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God. "Why" "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked. "Uh huh," Adam replied. "Then why did you?" said the Father. "I don't know," said Eve. "She started it!" Adam said "Did not!" "Did too!" "DID NOT!" Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you? THINGS TO THINK ABOUT! 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children. 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young. 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own. 6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in. ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day. AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
You do trust me, don't you?
Ben Breeg wrote:
"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
To late I've got 3 children, 5 grand children and soon 2 great grand children. But I finally got the child proof cap off the aspirin bottle so I should be good to go right?
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Ben Breeg wrote:
"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
To late I've got 3 children, 5 grand children and soon 2 great grand children. But I finally got the child proof cap off the aspirin bottle so I should be good to go right?
Mike Hankey wrote:
But I finally got the child proof cap off the aspirin bottle so I should be good to go right?
With your arthritis great-gammpa, I'm surprised you don't ask the nice druggist to give you the easy opening bottle. ;)
The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.
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Mike Hankey wrote:
But I finally got the child proof cap off the aspirin bottle so I should be good to go right?
With your arthritis great-gammpa, I'm surprised you don't ask the nice druggist to give you the easy opening bottle. ;)
The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.
I married the bitch...and that's how the fight started. ;-)
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Ben Breeg wrote:
"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
To late I've got 3 children, 5 grand children and soon 2 great grand children. But I finally got the child proof cap off the aspirin bottle so I should be good to go right?
Mike Hankey wrote:
But I finally got the child proof cap off the aspirin bottle so I should be good to go right?
If you give it to the kids, you might even kill 'em.
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I married the bitch...and that's how the fight started. ;-)
Mike Hankey wrote:
I married the bitch
I married 3 of 'em and almost married a 4th before I found out she was already married (but after my bank account disappeared). :-O
The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.
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Mike Hankey wrote:
I married the bitch
I married 3 of 'em and almost married a 4th before I found out she was already married (but after my bank account disappeared). :-O
The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.
ooo ouch...hard lesson learned. That's why I'm single and plan to stay that way.
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ooo ouch...hard lesson learned. That's why I'm single and plan to stay that way.
Mike Hankey wrote:
That's why I'm single and plan to stay that way.
Me, too. The seat is wherever I frakin' want it to be.
The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.
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Mike Hankey wrote:
That's why I'm single and plan to stay that way.
Me, too. The seat is wherever I frakin' want it to be.
The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.
I do what I want when I want and where I want. This summer I have left on a weeks notice and been gone a month, went camping and plan to go on another month long road trip before winter and don't have to clear it with anyone or explain where I'm going, when I'll be back...etc, etc.. Life is great.
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I do what I want when I want and where I want. This summer I have left on a weeks notice and been gone a month, went camping and plan to go on another month long road trip before winter and don't have to clear it with anyone or explain where I'm going, when I'll be back...etc, etc.. Life is great.
Have you ever noticed how much like a funeral a marriage is - except with more music?
The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.
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Have you ever noticed how much like a funeral a marriage is - except with more music?
The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.
The music is for the procession on your way to the grave site. I had a English prof. in college that had never been married and when asked why responded "Marriage is an honorable institution but I never wanted to live in an institution".
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The music is for the procession on your way to the grave site. I had a English prof. in college that had never been married and when asked why responded "Marriage is an honorable institution but I never wanted to live in an institution".
The women's movement told me that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. It too me awhile but I finally figured out that, as a bicycle, I didn't need to have a fish, either.
The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.
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The women's movement told me that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. It too me awhile but I finally figured out that, as a bicycle, I didn't need to have a fish, either.
The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.
:laugh: :laugh: As a bicycle I fell like I've been road hard and not oiled properly.
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The women's movement told me that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. It too me awhile but I finally figured out that, as a bicycle, I didn't need to have a fish, either.
The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.
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That explains why I always see bikes in ponds and rivers. It doesn't explain the Shopping Trolleys though?
Why are you always sticking your head underwater?
The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.
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Why are you always sticking your head underwater?
The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.
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Ᵽompey wrote:
so burying my head in water is the next best thing.
I gave you a great straight line and that is the best you can do???
The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.
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Ᵽompey wrote:
so burying my head in water is the next best thing.
I gave you a great straight line and that is the best you can do???
The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.
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What can I say, Its manic at work at today. Just click the 1 in the bottom right, grey it out, I promise not to retaliate by down-voting your last seven posts.
Ᵽompey wrote:
Just click the 1 in the bottom right,
Sorry, I don't do that. 5's yes, but 1's no.
The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.
