Historical insults
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These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
- The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
- A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
- "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
- "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
- "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
- "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
- "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
- "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
- "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
- "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
- "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
- "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
- "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
- "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
- "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
- "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
- "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde
- "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
- "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
- "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
/ravi
"On entering a room, he makes everyone feel as if someone interesting has just left." Unknown author, but freely plagiarized by me over several decades...
Will Rogers never met me.
-
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
- The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
- A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
- "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
- "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
- "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
- "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
- "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
- "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
- "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
- "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
- "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
- "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
- "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
- "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
- "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
- "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
- "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde
- "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
- "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
- "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
/ravi
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Where is Chuck Norris?
thatraja
**My Tip/Tricks
My Dad had a Heart Attack on this day so don't...
** -
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
- The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
- A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
- "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
- "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
- "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
- "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
- "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
- "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
- "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
- "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
- "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
- "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
- "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
- "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
- "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
- "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
- "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde
- "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
- "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
- "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
/ravi
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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Or the more recent reddit picture comment over a photo of justin bieber drinking coffee with selena gomez - 2 girls, 1 cup.
Regards, Nish
Are you addicted to CP? If so, check this out: The Code Project Forum Analyzer : Find out how much of a life you don't have! My technology blog: voidnish.wordpress.com
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These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
- The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
- A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
- "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
- "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
- "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
- "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
- "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
- "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
- "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
- "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
- "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
- "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
- "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
- "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
- "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
- "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
- "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde
- "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
- "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
- "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
/ravi
The politely-phrased cutting remark; an elegant weapon for a more civilized age.
Software Zen:
delete this; -
The politely-phrased cutting remark; an elegant weapon for a more civilized age.
Software Zen:
delete this; -
Reminds me of a list on some website, Top 50 Women of 2010 or something of that sort...Justin Beiber is #7.
50 most popular women on the web[^] and [s]he's #7.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
-
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
- The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
- A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
- "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
- "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
- "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
- "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
- "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
- "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
- "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
- "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
- "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
- "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
- "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
- "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
- "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
- "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
- "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde
- "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
- "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
- "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
/ravi
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I like this one: Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.” Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”
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These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
- The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
- A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
- "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
- "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
- "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
- "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
- "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
- "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
- "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
- "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
- "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
- "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
- "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
- "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
- "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
- "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
- "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde
- "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
- "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
- "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
/ravi
"You shut your mouth when you're talking to me!" -- My Friends
Martin Fowler wrote:
Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.
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50 most popular women on the web[^] and [s]he's #7.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
Bet Amy Winehouse would be higher than 41 if they did it now. I'm still not exactly sure what a Justin Beiber is. Just that any humerous website with an American presence tends to mock it a lot.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
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He did disappear when I was very young. Hmm...
Software Zen:
delete this; -
50 most popular women on the web[^] and [s]he's #7.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
-
He did disappear when I was very young. Hmm...
Software Zen:
delete this; -
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
- The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
- A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
- "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
- "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
- "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
- "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
- "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
- "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
- "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
- "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
- "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
- "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
- "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
- "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
- "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
- "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
- "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde
- "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
- "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
- "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
/ravi
Ravi Bhavnani wrote:
"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
I love that one. I shall be stealing it henceforth. It describes a few people I've had to work with over the years. Then there are the ones who's delusions exceeded adequacy.... I have to say they were worse.
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"You shut your mouth when you're talking to me!" -- My Friends
Martin Fowler wrote:
Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.
-
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
- The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
- A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
- "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
- "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
- "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
- "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
- "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
- "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
- "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
- "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
- "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
- "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
- "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
- "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
- "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
- "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
- "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde
- "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
- "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
- "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
/ravi
"Retards generally don't do well in Codeproject contests. I'm not necessarily calling you a retard - just making an observation that is nonetheless relevant." - JSOP
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997 -
"You shut your mouth when you're talking to me!" -- My Friends
Martin Fowler wrote:
Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.
-
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
- The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
- A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
- "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
- "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
- "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
- "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
- "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
- "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
- "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
- "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
- "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
- "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
- "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
- "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
- "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
- "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
- "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde
- "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
- "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
- "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
/ravi
Another that you might choose to add to your list
The more he talked of his honour, the faster we counted the silverware.
Often attributed to R.W.Emerson but I have seen citations (that, needless to say, I can't find at the moment) much earlier than he, as suggested here[^].
Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus! When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is.
