Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Code Project
  1. Home
  2. The Lounge
  3. Salesman - why don't they get it?

Salesman - why don't they get it?

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
sysadminhostingcloudsalesquestion
41 Posts 21 Posters 7 Views 1 Watching
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • N Nagy Vilmos

    0. Buy a baseball bat. 1. Hit the salesman with the baseball bat. 2. If salesman not dead, repeat #1. It is the only accepted way to deal with sales.


    Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

    J Offline
    J Offline
    Jim Crafton
    wrote on last edited by
    #22

    Nagy Vilmos wrote:

    It is the only accepted way to deal with sales.

    Naw, sales are OK. You need sales. It's the salesmen that are the PITA! :)

    ¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! Personal 3D projects Just Say No to Web 2 Point Blow

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • P peterchen

      As long as he sells it, he could sell it as omnipotent multidimensional ashtray from Betelgeutse 3. Only if he sells functionality that isn't in that ashtray you can be pissed. Just make sure you have solid specs that state what you do, and what are the limits, and make sure the customer buys based on the spec, not on the cloud your sales guy produces. --- One might ask, of course, whether adding buzzwords will increase sales.

      FILETIME to time_t
      | FoldWithUs! | sighist | WhoIncludes - Analyzing C++ include file hierarchy

      J Offline
      J Offline
      Jim Crafton
      wrote on last edited by
      #23

      peterchen wrote:

      omnipotent multidimensional ashtray from Betelgeutse 3.

      Damnit you weren't supposed to tell! Didn't you have to sign the NDA in return for bypassing the anal-probe? Shushh! :rolleyes:

      ¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! Personal 3D projects Just Say No to Web 2 Point Blow

      N 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • J Jim Crafton

        peterchen wrote:

        omnipotent multidimensional ashtray from Betelgeutse 3.

        Damnit you weren't supposed to tell! Didn't you have to sign the NDA in return for bypassing the anal-probe? Shushh! :rolleyes:

        ¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! Personal 3D projects Just Say No to Web 2 Point Blow

        N Offline
        N Offline
        Nagy Vilmos
        wrote on last edited by
        #24

        Maybe Peter didn't want to bypass the probe...


        Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • C Chris Losinger

          salesmen aren't in the business of enforcing pedantic definitions of obscure tech; they're in the business of getting people to hand them cash: by whatever means necessary.

          image processing toolkits | batch image processing

          V Offline
          V Offline
          Vark111
          wrote on last edited by
          #25

          I disagree to a certain extent. Selling something as a "cloud service" has the implication that it can be 1) scaled on demand and 2) for relatively low infrastructure investment per unit of scaling. A simple DB available over the web satisfies neither one of those basic "cloud service" implications.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • L Lost User

            Yeah, a mile out. I am a Windows kernel dev, therefore even more superior to you normal devs. :) I just respect everyones ability and contribution to a firm. As a dev I will bend over backwards to get any fancy feature they want in the product, no fights, no problem, because it makes it sell better and makes us all more money.

            ============================== Nothing to say.

            P Offline
            P Offline
            Peter Mulholland
            wrote on last edited by
            #26

            Yeah right! I'm sitting here picturing new Fancy Features being added to the windows kernel without any fights, no problem because a sales guy asks for it. ROTF:laugh: [edit]Countered the 1 vote, cause I don't think it was deserved[/edit]

            Pete

            L 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • C Chris Meech

              SK Genius wrote:

              These things are said in jest you know, there's no need to get all uppity start acting like a troll about it.

              FTFY. :)

              Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

              L Offline
              L Offline
              Lost User
              wrote on last edited by
              #27

              Get real, you think I would post that just for a reaction? I actually meant it you know.

              ============================== Nothing to say.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • N Nagy Vilmos

                0. Buy a baseball bat. 1. Hit the salesman with the baseball bat. 2. If salesman not dead, repeat #1. It is the only accepted way to deal with sales.


                Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

                T Offline
                T Offline
                thrakazog
                wrote on last edited by
                #28

                I'd add step 0.5: Tell salesman the bat is part of cloud computing.

                L 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • P Peter Mulholland

                  Yeah right! I'm sitting here picturing new Fancy Features being added to the windows kernel without any fights, no problem because a sales guy asks for it. ROTF:laugh: [edit]Countered the 1 vote, cause I don't think it was deserved[/edit]

                  Pete

                  L Offline
                  L Offline
                  Lost User
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #29

                  Peter Mulholland wrote:

                  Yeah right! I'm sitting here picturing new Fancy Features being added to the windows kernel without any fights, no problem because a sales guy asks for it. ROTF:laugh:

                  It happens. You would not ve surprised at the subtlety and pwer you can put into kernel code. :)

                  ============================== Nothing to say.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • D daleofcourse

                    Our company has been working on a system that provides a web front end to databases held on our server that's accessible over the internet, we've used it successfully internally and now the sales guys are trying to sell it to external clients and today's big buzzword is "Cloud Computing". It's not cloud computing, it doesn't run in a cloud, we don't offer cloud services, it doesn't even look like a cloud, yet because it's accessible via the web the sales guy keeps sending me select definitions of cloud computing that our system tenuously falls into; no matter what I say he's dead set on selling it as a cloud computing service/platform. :doh: Anyone else had a product that their sales dept completely got the wrong end of the stick with???

                    M Offline
                    M Offline
                    Matt Gullett
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #30

                    I'm going to have to disagree here. Cloud computing means something specific to us tech types, but in reality means something quite different to consumers and users. Apple positioned "the cloud" in a way consumers understand - "get my stuff wherever I am". We tech types try to wrap specific implementations around the term and that just isn't what "cloud computing" is all about. If the product provides a web front end, to a consumer, that could easily be considered "working in the cloud". The reality is that most web apps qualify as cloud computing systems from a consumer perspective. Whether or not the back end is distributed across N data centers and dynamically allocates system resources, etc. consumers don't care. Within the tech community, the term means one thing. Outside of our little universe, it means something else. If it enables a company to make a sale because the buzz word catches the clients/consumers attention - more power to it. The real hope for cloud computing may not be realized by your implementation, but in truth, that would be impossible with any cloud computing platform today. Consumers and clients are more and more treating the concept of the cloud as meaning ubiquitous access - PC, SmartPhone, tablet, direct brain access without risk of loss or theft. There really is no system that can meet that ideal.

                    C D 2 Replies Last reply
                    0
                    • M Matt Gullett

                      I'm going to have to disagree here. Cloud computing means something specific to us tech types, but in reality means something quite different to consumers and users. Apple positioned "the cloud" in a way consumers understand - "get my stuff wherever I am". We tech types try to wrap specific implementations around the term and that just isn't what "cloud computing" is all about. If the product provides a web front end, to a consumer, that could easily be considered "working in the cloud". The reality is that most web apps qualify as cloud computing systems from a consumer perspective. Whether or not the back end is distributed across N data centers and dynamically allocates system resources, etc. consumers don't care. Within the tech community, the term means one thing. Outside of our little universe, it means something else. If it enables a company to make a sale because the buzz word catches the clients/consumers attention - more power to it. The real hope for cloud computing may not be realized by your implementation, but in truth, that would be impossible with any cloud computing platform today. Consumers and clients are more and more treating the concept of the cloud as meaning ubiquitous access - PC, SmartPhone, tablet, direct brain access without risk of loss or theft. There really is no system that can meet that ideal.

                      C Offline
                      C Offline
                      Chris Meech
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #31

                      Matt Gullett wrote:

                      the concept of the cloud as meaning ubiquitous access - PC, SmartPhone, tablet, direct brain access without risk of loss or theft. There really is no system that can meet that ideal.

                      Reminds me of "reusable software", "write once, run everywhere", etc. Sometimes true and sometimes not so true. :)

                      Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • M Matt Gullett

                        I'm going to have to disagree here. Cloud computing means something specific to us tech types, but in reality means something quite different to consumers and users. Apple positioned "the cloud" in a way consumers understand - "get my stuff wherever I am". We tech types try to wrap specific implementations around the term and that just isn't what "cloud computing" is all about. If the product provides a web front end, to a consumer, that could easily be considered "working in the cloud". The reality is that most web apps qualify as cloud computing systems from a consumer perspective. Whether or not the back end is distributed across N data centers and dynamically allocates system resources, etc. consumers don't care. Within the tech community, the term means one thing. Outside of our little universe, it means something else. If it enables a company to make a sale because the buzz word catches the clients/consumers attention - more power to it. The real hope for cloud computing may not be realized by your implementation, but in truth, that would be impossible with any cloud computing platform today. Consumers and clients are more and more treating the concept of the cloud as meaning ubiquitous access - PC, SmartPhone, tablet, direct brain access without risk of loss or theft. There really is no system that can meet that ideal.

                        D Offline
                        D Offline
                        daleofcourse
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #32

                        I think you're right in this case, though it does feel like a generic term that's being abused; I'm trying to think of other tech terms that have become mainstream and gone on to mean something different from what they originally described, I'm sure there's a few.

                        D 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • D daleofcourse

                          I think you're right in this case, though it does feel like a generic term that's being abused; I'm trying to think of other tech terms that have become mainstream and gone on to mean something different from what they originally described, I'm sure there's a few.

                          D Offline
                          D Offline
                          Dan Neely
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #33

                          It's not a tech term, although many techies would dance for joy if it happened to certain unnamed companies repeatedly, but the mass moron meaning of decimate is roughly the opposite of the latin meaning.

                          Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason? Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful? --Zachris Topelius

                          G S 2 Replies Last reply
                          0
                          • T thrakazog

                            I'd add step 0.5: Tell salesman the bat is part of cloud computing.

                            L Offline
                            L Offline
                            Lost User
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #34

                            thrakazog wrote:

                            Tell salesman the bat is part of cloud computing.

                            Odly you just reminded me of the scene from Big Lebowski with John Goodman smashing up a nice sporty car screaming "This is what happens when you [NOT KSS] a stranger in the [NOT KSS]!"

                            Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet.

                            D 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • D Dan Neely

                              It's not a tech term, although many techies would dance for joy if it happened to certain unnamed companies repeatedly, but the mass moron meaning of decimate is roughly the opposite of the latin meaning.

                              Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason? Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful? --Zachris Topelius

                              G Offline
                              G Offline
                              GenJerDan
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #35

                              Well, maybe not all of them. Maybe just a tenth, pour encourager les autres.

                              Ain't nothin' in the circus for free, kid. My Mu[sic] My Films My Windows Programs, etc.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • realJSOPR realJSOP

                                Salesmen aren't paid to "get it". They're paid to "sell it".

                                ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                -----
                                You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                -----
                                "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                L Offline
                                L Offline
                                Lost User
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #36

                                John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                                Salesmen aren't paid to "get it". They're paid to "sell it".

                                Now that is a quote worth logging!

                                Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • L Lost User

                                  Vark111 wrote:

                                  Sales - making pond scum everywhere

                                  Ever tried it? Ever tried selling? Easy is it? Be very gratefull there are people who CAN do it, a LOT better than you, who generate YOUR salary. Be a bit gratefull eh? We arent all made the same, cant all do the same jobs, but that doesnt make you a higher for, of life.

                                  ============================== Nothing to say.

                                  R Offline
                                  R Offline
                                  rentzk
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #37

                                  Remember: Making a product without selling it is wasteful. Selling a product without making it is fraud.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • D daleofcourse

                                    Our company has been working on a system that provides a web front end to databases held on our server that's accessible over the internet, we've used it successfully internally and now the sales guys are trying to sell it to external clients and today's big buzzword is "Cloud Computing". It's not cloud computing, it doesn't run in a cloud, we don't offer cloud services, it doesn't even look like a cloud, yet because it's accessible via the web the sales guy keeps sending me select definitions of cloud computing that our system tenuously falls into; no matter what I say he's dead set on selling it as a cloud computing service/platform. :doh: Anyone else had a product that their sales dept completely got the wrong end of the stick with???

                                    S Offline
                                    S Offline
                                    Steve Mayfield
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #38

                                    Make up a phrase and tell him it is the next big thing that's obsoleting "Cloud Computing" (like "Online Sage-driven Hierarchical Information Technology") :-D

                                    Steve _________________ I C(++) therefore I am

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • L Lost User

                                      thrakazog wrote:

                                      Tell salesman the bat is part of cloud computing.

                                      Odly you just reminded me of the scene from Big Lebowski with John Goodman smashing up a nice sporty car screaming "This is what happens when you [NOT KSS] a stranger in the [NOT KSS]!"

                                      Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet.

                                      D Offline
                                      D Offline
                                      Dan Neely
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #39

                                      What's non KSS about "pay" and "dealership"? :laugh:

                                      Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason? Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful? --Zachris Topelius

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • D daleofcourse

                                        Our company has been working on a system that provides a web front end to databases held on our server that's accessible over the internet, we've used it successfully internally and now the sales guys are trying to sell it to external clients and today's big buzzword is "Cloud Computing". It's not cloud computing, it doesn't run in a cloud, we don't offer cloud services, it doesn't even look like a cloud, yet because it's accessible via the web the sales guy keeps sending me select definitions of cloud computing that our system tenuously falls into; no matter what I say he's dead set on selling it as a cloud computing service/platform. :doh: Anyone else had a product that their sales dept completely got the wrong end of the stick with???

                                        P Offline
                                        P Offline
                                        PIEBALDconsult
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #40

                                        I recall a cartoon (Dilbert?) in the mid-90s: Engineer: "The executable has to be on a tape and the data has to be be on a floppy drive." Salesguy: "We'll call it multimedia!"

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • D Dan Neely

                                          It's not a tech term, although many techies would dance for joy if it happened to certain unnamed companies repeatedly, but the mass moron meaning of decimate is roughly the opposite of the latin meaning.

                                          Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason? Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful? --Zachris Topelius

                                          S Offline
                                          S Offline
                                          smcnulty2000
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #41

                                          Dan Neely wrote:

                                          the mass moron meaning of decimate is roughly the opposite of the latin meaning

                                          Too right. Not that losing 1 in 10 men in your legion is a picnic.

                                          _____________________________ Give a man a mug, he drinks for a day. Teach a man to mug...

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          0
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Don't have an account? Register

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • World
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups