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My Wife is Funny

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  • realJSOPR Offline
    realJSOPR Offline
    realJSOP
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    We live in Texas. In the United States. One of the few countries that is not brave enough to specify a "national language". This weekend, we were in a furniture store being helped by a Hispanic guy. In the middle of our visit, one of the warehouse monkies came up to him and started a conversation about some furniture that we were inquiring about. The conversation was entirely in Spanish. This really irritated my wife, so she interrupted them. "My husband and I speak English and .45ACP. How would you like to proceed?" Looks like I'll be getting a new t-shirt soon. :)

    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
    -----
    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
    -----
    "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

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    • realJSOPR realJSOP

      We live in Texas. In the United States. One of the few countries that is not brave enough to specify a "national language". This weekend, we were in a furniture store being helped by a Hispanic guy. In the middle of our visit, one of the warehouse monkies came up to him and started a conversation about some furniture that we were inquiring about. The conversation was entirely in Spanish. This really irritated my wife, so she interrupted them. "My husband and I speak English and .45ACP. How would you like to proceed?" Looks like I'll be getting a new t-shirt soon. :)

      ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
      -----
      You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
      -----
      "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

      A Offline
      A Offline
      Abhinav S
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

      "My husband and I speak English and .45ACP. How would you like to proceed?"

      Definite sig material. :thumbsup:

      Too much of heaven can bring you underground Heaven can always turn around Too much of heaven, our life is all hell bound Heaven, the kill that makes no sound

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • realJSOPR realJSOP

        We live in Texas. In the United States. One of the few countries that is not brave enough to specify a "national language". This weekend, we were in a furniture store being helped by a Hispanic guy. In the middle of our visit, one of the warehouse monkies came up to him and started a conversation about some furniture that we were inquiring about. The conversation was entirely in Spanish. This really irritated my wife, so she interrupted them. "My husband and I speak English and .45ACP. How would you like to proceed?" Looks like I'll be getting a new t-shirt soon. :)

        ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
        -----
        You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
        -----
        "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

        R Offline
        R Offline
        ricmil42
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        OUTSTANDING! Sounds like a keeper.

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • realJSOPR realJSOP

          We live in Texas. In the United States. One of the few countries that is not brave enough to specify a "national language". This weekend, we were in a furniture store being helped by a Hispanic guy. In the middle of our visit, one of the warehouse monkies came up to him and started a conversation about some furniture that we were inquiring about. The conversation was entirely in Spanish. This really irritated my wife, so she interrupted them. "My husband and I speak English and .45ACP. How would you like to proceed?" Looks like I'll be getting a new t-shirt soon. :)

          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
          -----
          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
          -----
          "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

          A Offline
          A Offline
          Albert Holguin
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Well maybe you need to learn another language... you know, most people in Europe speak 3-4 languages... And yes, I am hispanic and speak both English and Spanish (and I'm also from Texas). Edit: I also speak bad German, understand Italian (minus heavy accents) and Portuguese.

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          • realJSOPR realJSOP

            We live in Texas. In the United States. One of the few countries that is not brave enough to specify a "national language". This weekend, we were in a furniture store being helped by a Hispanic guy. In the middle of our visit, one of the warehouse monkies came up to him and started a conversation about some furniture that we were inquiring about. The conversation was entirely in Spanish. This really irritated my wife, so she interrupted them. "My husband and I speak English and .45ACP. How would you like to proceed?" Looks like I'll be getting a new t-shirt soon. :)

            ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
            -----
            You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
            -----
            "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

            D Offline
            D Offline
            Dalek Dave
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Strangely... In the UK, there is no National or Official Language. The UK Consists of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. In England, there is no official Language, but in each of the others there is,English and Scots Gaelic or Welsh or Irish Gaelic. Strange that at a smaller level the little countries need an Official Language, and at a National Level, they don't.

            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • realJSOPR realJSOP

              We live in Texas. In the United States. One of the few countries that is not brave enough to specify a "national language". This weekend, we were in a furniture store being helped by a Hispanic guy. In the middle of our visit, one of the warehouse monkies came up to him and started a conversation about some furniture that we were inquiring about. The conversation was entirely in Spanish. This really irritated my wife, so she interrupted them. "My husband and I speak English and .45ACP. How would you like to proceed?" Looks like I'll be getting a new t-shirt soon. :)

              ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
              -----
              You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
              -----
              "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

              Q Offline
              Q Offline
              QuiJohn
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              So would specifying a national language make it illegal for two people to speak a different language in front of someone who doesn't speak that language? I thought you Texans claimed to be all about freedom.

              P D realJSOPR T D 5 Replies Last reply
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              • A Albert Holguin

                Well maybe you need to learn another language... you know, most people in Europe speak 3-4 languages... And yes, I am hispanic and speak both English and Spanish (and I'm also from Texas). Edit: I also speak bad German, understand Italian (minus heavy accents) and Portuguese.

                D Offline
                D Offline
                Dalek Dave
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                No, people in Europe mainly speak two languages, Their mother tongue and English. Except the English who speak every language in the world. They do this by speaking English VERY LOULDLY! and v e r y _ s l o w l y

                ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

                A H S 3 Replies Last reply
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                • A Albert Holguin

                  Well maybe you need to learn another language... you know, most people in Europe speak 3-4 languages... And yes, I am hispanic and speak both English and Spanish (and I'm also from Texas). Edit: I also speak bad German, understand Italian (minus heavy accents) and Portuguese.

                  P Offline
                  P Offline
                  Paul M Watt
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  ...but do you speak .45ACP?

                  D A 2 Replies Last reply
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                  • Q QuiJohn

                    So would specifying a national language make it illegal for two people to speak a different language in front of someone who doesn't speak that language? I thought you Texans claimed to be all about freedom.

                    P Offline
                    P Offline
                    Pete OHanlon
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    David Kentley wrote:

                    I thought you Texans claimed to be all about freedom.

                    That's personal freedom, not anybody else's freedom. They have the freedom to choose their own casket first.

                    Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                    "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                    My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier - my favourite utility

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • P Paul M Watt

                      ...but do you speak .45ACP?

                      D Offline
                      D Offline
                      Dalek Dave
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      John often says "BANG! Dammit, missed again"

                      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • Q QuiJohn

                        So would specifying a national language make it illegal for two people to speak a different language in front of someone who doesn't speak that language? I thought you Texans claimed to be all about freedom.

                        D Offline
                        D Offline
                        Dalek Dave
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        It means that all official documentation would have to be in all official languages, road signs, warnings, anything that affects people and is issued by the state in fact. In Wales they have all the road signs in English and Welsh. Very confusing, as not many Welsh actually speak the language.

                        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

                        Q 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • D Dalek Dave

                          No, people in Europe mainly speak two languages, Their mother tongue and English. Except the English who speak every language in the world. They do this by speaking English VERY LOULDLY! and v e r y _ s l o w l y

                          ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

                          A Offline
                          A Offline
                          Albert Holguin
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          I've done my fair share of traveling over there... point is... everyone else speaks multiple languages...

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                          • P Paul M Watt

                            ...but do you speak .45ACP?

                            A Offline
                            A Offline
                            Albert Holguin
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            I thought that was covered in the "I'm also from Texas" portion... :laugh:

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                            • A Albert Holguin

                              I've done my fair share of traveling over there... point is... everyone else speaks multiple languages...

                              D Offline
                              D Offline
                              Dalek Dave
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              Albert Holguin wrote:

                              everyone else speaks multiple languages

                              Everyone? Really? Can you back this statement up?

                              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

                              A 1 Reply Last reply
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                              • A Albert Holguin

                                I've done my fair share of traveling over there... point is... everyone else speaks multiple languages...

                                R Offline
                                R Offline
                                Rhys Gravell
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                Albert Holguin wrote:

                                ... everyone else speaks multiple languages...

                                I often speak gibberish after a few drinks... ...does that count?

                                Rhys "Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal" "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe"

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                                • A Albert Holguin

                                  I've done my fair share of traveling over there... point is... everyone else speaks multiple languages...

                                  N Offline
                                  N Offline
                                  Nish Nishant
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  Albert Holguin wrote:

                                  everyone else speaks multiple languages...

                                  This is true for India. Nearly everyone speaks their local language (tamil, malayalam, hindi, telugu, punjabi...) and English. Sometimes people speak more than one Indian language.

                                  Regards, Nish


                                  My technology blog: voidnish.wordpress.com

                                  T 1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • D Dalek Dave

                                    It means that all official documentation would have to be in all official languages, road signs, warnings, anything that affects people and is issued by the state in fact. In Wales they have all the road signs in English and Welsh. Very confusing, as not many Welsh actually speak the language.

                                    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

                                    Q Offline
                                    Q Offline
                                    QuiJohn
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    Dalek Dave wrote:

                                    It means that all official documentation would have to be in all official languages, road signs, warnings, anything that affects people and is issued by the state in fact.

                                    I know what it means, I was wondering if John did. I just see no point.

                                    T realJSOPR 2 Replies Last reply
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                                    • D Dalek Dave

                                      Albert Holguin wrote:

                                      everyone else speaks multiple languages

                                      Everyone? Really? Can you back this statement up?

                                      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

                                      A Offline
                                      A Offline
                                      Albert Holguin
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      I guess you don't? I'm obviously generalizing...

                                      realJSOPR M 2 Replies Last reply
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                                      • A Albert Holguin

                                        Well maybe you need to learn another language... you know, most people in Europe speak 3-4 languages... And yes, I am hispanic and speak both English and Spanish (and I'm also from Texas). Edit: I also speak bad German, understand Italian (minus heavy accents) and Portuguese.

                                        T Offline
                                        T Offline
                                        Tom Deketelaere
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        Albert Holguin wrote:

                                        you know, most people in Europe speak 3-4 languages

                                        Hmmm not really. The french refuse to speak anything but French. The Germans might also speak English but not much. The Spaniards might also speak English. There really is only one country where we learn 3-4 languages and that's only half the country then. (Belgium, you know the one without a government ;P ) For the record I speak: Dutch, English, French and German.

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                                        • R Rhys Gravell

                                          Albert Holguin wrote:

                                          ... everyone else speaks multiple languages...

                                          I often speak gibberish after a few drinks... ...does that count?

                                          Rhys "Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal" "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe"

                                          D Offline
                                          D Offline
                                          Dalek Dave
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          I didn't know you were from Gibraltar!

                                          ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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