Santa Claus as a developer

Lost User

He would have a website sponsored by Coca Cola where you could register to download great apps (how I hate that word) as presents. And he supposedly would not have any elves at the north pole, but a regiment of code monkeys in India.

And from the clouds a mighty voice spoke:
"Smile and be happy, for it could come worse!"

And I smiled and was happy
And it came worse.

Dalek Dave

Christmas would be delivered by April, maybe.

------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

V 0

iSanta

V.

realJSOP

We would have the IsNaughtyException to deal with.

".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

hairy_hats

The documentation would be so poor that no-one would have worked out that you are supposed to write a letter to him yet.

Lost User

Ineffective. Too many would disappear in empty catch blocks and not result in an old school spanking.

And from the clouds a mighty voice spoke:
"Smile and be happy, for it could come worse!"

And I smiled and was happy
And it came worse.

Nagy Vilmos

try {
child.setPresent(new Toy());
} catch (IsNaughtyException ex) {
try {
// check twice
child.setPresent(new Toy());
} catch (IsNaughtyException ex) {
child.setPresent(null);
}
}

Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

Lost User

Pointers. Santa is oldfashioned and would give them pointers to the present. NULL for those which did not behave.

And from the clouds a mighty voice spoke:
"Smile and be happy, for it could come worse!"

And I smiled and was happy
And it came worse.

realJSOP

It should be

child.setPresent(new Coal() { IsLowSulfur=true} );

".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

Abhinav S

Sunny Oludayo Alli wrote:

I was just wondering if Santa Claus had been a developer in his own time, how will Christmas look like? Any idea?

Santa would be Matt somewhere in India or Mexico.

OriginalGriff

Oh, I dunno...http://www.vampire.co.uk/acatalog/pp53055.jpg[^]

Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water

Slacker007

That is not an elf. That is a good looking lady in green and white striped stockings. :)

Just along for the ride. "the meat from that butcher is just the dogs danglies, absolutely amazing cuts of beef." - DaveAuld (2011)
"No, that is just the earthly manifestation of the Great God Retardon." - Nagy Vilmos (2011) "It is the celestial scrotum of good luck!" - Nagy Vilmos (2011)

thatraja

Sunny Oludayo Alli wrote:

I was just wondering if Santa Claus had been a developer in his own time, how will Christmas look like? Any idea?

And Christmas tree with full of bugs

thatraja

My Dad had a Heart Attack on this day so don't...
Pompeyboy3 here | Nobody remains a virgin, Life screws everyone :sigh:

OriginalGriff

Are you telling me that's not what elves would look like if developers were in charge? :laugh:

Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water

Dalek Dave

I wish my elves looked like that!

------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

Slacker007

OriginalGriff wrote:

Are you telling me that's not what elves would look like if developers were in charge?

I must adhere to the rules of the lounge and keep all my comments at a KSS level. In the future, please refrain from tempting me to reply with juvenile comments about elfin ladies with long legs and sexy... :)

Just along for the ride. "the meat from that butcher is just the dogs danglies, absolutely amazing cuts of beef." - DaveAuld (2011)
"No, that is just the earthly manifestation of the Great God Retardon." - Nagy Vilmos (2011) "It is the celestial scrotum of good luck!" - Nagy Vilmos (2011)

Dalek Dave

It's no wonder Santa has a big sack.

------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

Xiangyang Liu

CDP1802 wrote:

NULL for those which did not behave.

I am pretty sure there are EXCEPTIONS to this rule.

My Younger Son & His "PET"

Xiangyang Liu

TorstenH. wrote:

there would be just one package and all Kids are referencing to that one.

But each of them will get a unique interface (gift wrap).

My Younger Son & His "PET"

CPallini

All the reindeers would be busy doing events... (ehm, sorry, you said 'developer')

If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
[My articles]