Few funnies
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I always love johnnys jokes.. Here are few more, hope they are not re-post :) Johnny got kicked out of math class again. The Teacher asked him what comes after 69. Apparently, 'mouthwash' was the wrong answer! "Johnny," the teacher started, "do you know what 'paranoia' means?" "It's not a word, teach, it's several words," Johnny replied. "Whatever do you mean by that?" "It's like when you go into a restaurant and a well endowed waitress with a low cut uniform reaches in front of you and says, 'does my pair annoy ya'?" STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM. I would have given him 100% Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast? * Lunch & dinner Q7. What looks like half an apple? * The other half Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? * It will simply become wet Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ? * No problem, he sleeps at night. Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? * You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.. Hope you like it :D Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ? * Very large hands Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? * No time at all, the wall is already built. Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? *Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
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I always love johnnys jokes.. Here are few more, hope they are not re-post :) Johnny got kicked out of math class again. The Teacher asked him what comes after 69. Apparently, 'mouthwash' was the wrong answer! "Johnny," the teacher started, "do you know what 'paranoia' means?" "It's not a word, teach, it's several words," Johnny replied. "Whatever do you mean by that?" "It's like when you go into a restaurant and a well endowed waitress with a low cut uniform reaches in front of you and says, 'does my pair annoy ya'?" STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM. I would have given him 100% Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast? * Lunch & dinner Q7. What looks like half an apple? * The other half Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? * It will simply become wet Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ? * No problem, he sleeps at night. Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? * You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.. Hope you like it :D Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ? * Very large hands Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? * No time at all, the wall is already built. Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? *Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
Where's the funny part?
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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Where's the funny part?
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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Where's the funny part?
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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I always love johnnys jokes.. Here are few more, hope they are not re-post :) Johnny got kicked out of math class again. The Teacher asked him what comes after 69. Apparently, 'mouthwash' was the wrong answer! "Johnny," the teacher started, "do you know what 'paranoia' means?" "It's not a word, teach, it's several words," Johnny replied. "Whatever do you mean by that?" "It's like when you go into a restaurant and a well endowed waitress with a low cut uniform reaches in front of you and says, 'does my pair annoy ya'?" STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM. I would have given him 100% Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast? * Lunch & dinner Q7. What looks like half an apple? * The other half Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? * It will simply become wet Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ? * No problem, he sleeps at night. Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? * You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.. Hope you like it :D Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ? * Very large hands Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? * No time at all, the wall is already built. Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? *Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Espen Harlinn Senior Architect, Software - Goodtech Projects & Services My LinkedIn Profile
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I always love johnnys jokes.. Here are few more, hope they are not re-post :) Johnny got kicked out of math class again. The Teacher asked him what comes after 69. Apparently, 'mouthwash' was the wrong answer! "Johnny," the teacher started, "do you know what 'paranoia' means?" "It's not a word, teach, it's several words," Johnny replied. "Whatever do you mean by that?" "It's like when you go into a restaurant and a well endowed waitress with a low cut uniform reaches in front of you and says, 'does my pair annoy ya'?" STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM. I would have given him 100% Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast? * Lunch & dinner Q7. What looks like half an apple? * The other half Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? * It will simply become wet Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ? * No problem, he sleeps at night. Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? * You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.. Hope you like it :D Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ? * Very large hands Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? * No time at all, the wall is already built. Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? *Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
Great ones! Was funny all the way! :laugh:
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I always love johnnys jokes.. Here are few more, hope they are not re-post :) Johnny got kicked out of math class again. The Teacher asked him what comes after 69. Apparently, 'mouthwash' was the wrong answer! "Johnny," the teacher started, "do you know what 'paranoia' means?" "It's not a word, teach, it's several words," Johnny replied. "Whatever do you mean by that?" "It's like when you go into a restaurant and a well endowed waitress with a low cut uniform reaches in front of you and says, 'does my pair annoy ya'?" STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM. I would have given him 100% Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast? * Lunch & dinner Q7. What looks like half an apple? * The other half Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? * It will simply become wet Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ? * No problem, he sleeps at night. Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? * You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.. Hope you like it :D Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ? * Very large hands Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? * No time at all, the wall is already built. Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? *Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
What kind of class would ask those questions on an exam? :rolleyes:
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What kind of class would ask those questions on an exam? :rolleyes:
Most of them were just old lateral thinking questions that don't make sense for the joke cos the correct answer is given. Stuff like how do you get down from a camel? You don't, you get down from a duck.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
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I always love johnnys jokes.. Here are few more, hope they are not re-post :) Johnny got kicked out of math class again. The Teacher asked him what comes after 69. Apparently, 'mouthwash' was the wrong answer! "Johnny," the teacher started, "do you know what 'paranoia' means?" "It's not a word, teach, it's several words," Johnny replied. "Whatever do you mean by that?" "It's like when you go into a restaurant and a well endowed waitress with a low cut uniform reaches in front of you and says, 'does my pair annoy ya'?" STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM. I would have given him 100% Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast? * Lunch & dinner Q7. What looks like half an apple? * The other half Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? * It will simply become wet Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ? * No problem, he sleeps at night. Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? * You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.. Hope you like it :D Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ? * Very large hands Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? * No time at all, the wall is already built. Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? *Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.