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Poetry Written in Code Contest

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  • A Andrew Rissing

    A few coworkers were joking about writing poetry in code and I was curious to put it up here as a challenge to others. The premise is that you must write something that is poetry that is reasonably compilable (i.e. excluding the scaffolding of the language of choice). Bonus points if it produces output that is relevant to the theme of the poem. Here is an example to get you started:

    float myhope;
    float mypride;
    if (myhope is Empty)
    Goto ZeroDivide;

    R Offline
    R Offline
    Rage
    wrote on last edited by
    #8

    if (life == ToBe)
    return Question
    else if (life != ToBe)
    return Question

    A S M K F 6 Replies Last reply
    0
    • M Marc Clifton

      And in Haiku:

      double myTrouble;
      if (sheFindsOut(myTrouble))
      {
      SummerDaysAreGone();
      }

      Marc

      My Blog
      An Agile walk on the wild side with Relationship Oriented Programming
      Melody's Amazon Herb Site

      A Offline
      A Offline
      Andrew Rissing
      wrote on last edited by
      #9

      :-D +5

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • R Rage

        if (life == ToBe)
        return Question
        else if (life != ToBe)
        return Question

        A Offline
        A Offline
        Andrew Rissing
        wrote on last edited by
        #10

        Not really poetry, but amusing regardless. +5

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • H Henry Minute

          Thank you Sid James. It only needs a last line of Hick. Hike. Hock.[^] to be perfect.

          Henry Minute Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus! When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is. Cogito ergo thumb - Sucking my thumb helps me to think.

          A Offline
          A Offline
          AspDotNetDev
          wrote on last edited by
          #11

          At first, I thought you were talking about William James Sidis, and I thought, "it wasn't THAT good."

          Thou mewling ill-breeding pignut!

          H 1 Reply Last reply
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          • A AspDotNetDev

            At first, I thought you were talking about William James Sidis, and I thought, "it wasn't THAT good."

            Thou mewling ill-breeding pignut!

            H Offline
            H Offline
            Henry Minute
            wrote on last edited by
            #12

            Wikipedia wrote:

            From writings on cosmology, to American Indian history, to a comprehensive and definitive taxonomy of vehicle transfers

            What's one of them?

            Henry Minute Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus! When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is. Cogito ergo thumb - Sucking my thumb helps me to think.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • A Andrew Rissing

              A few coworkers were joking about writing poetry in code and I was curious to put it up here as a challenge to others. The premise is that you must write something that is poetry that is reasonably compilable (i.e. excluding the scaffolding of the language of choice). Bonus points if it produces output that is relevant to the theme of the poem. Here is an example to get you started:

              float myhope;
              float mypride;
              if (myhope is Empty)
              Goto ZeroDivide;

              L Offline
              L Offline
              Lost User
              wrote on last edited by
              #13

              /* Program LIFE
              Implementation date: 04/12/60
              Author: H.H. Evans
              www.hiraethog.org
              Notes: Run once only.
              Parameters: None.
              Date : 07/10/95
              */

              While NOT EndOfLife
              DO();
              Seek_Nipple();
              Mimic_Betters();
              Rebel();
              Seek_Nipple();

                MULTIPLY self BY wife GIVING children;
                If Age < PastCaring% then
                   Birthday\_Candles% = Birthday\_Candles% + 1;
                endIf
              
                Regret(Lost\_Opportunity);
                WishFor(Youth);
                ACCEPT Fate;
              

              ENDDO;

              EndWhile;

              STOP RUN.

              www.hiraethog.org

              P 1 Reply Last reply
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              • R Rage

                if (life == ToBe)
                return Question
                else if (life != ToBe)
                return Question

                S Offline
                S Offline
                StephenPhillips
                wrote on last edited by
                #14

                if (life == ToBe)
                return Question;
                else if (life != ToBe)
                return Question;

                given only two wholly mutually exclusive conditions, this could be simplified to

                return Question;

                Either Hamlet was overcomplicating his problem or he was a stickler for convolution. Or perhaps it should be taken more literally as

                return (ToBe == true);

                But no, this is silly - this only takes the first condition and ignores the rest of the system specification. Besides which, it somehow doesn't have the same ring to it this way.

                R C 2 Replies Last reply
                0
                • S StephenPhillips

                  if (life == ToBe)
                  return Question;
                  else if (life != ToBe)
                  return Question;

                  given only two wholly mutually exclusive conditions, this could be simplified to

                  return Question;

                  Either Hamlet was overcomplicating his problem or he was a stickler for convolution. Or perhaps it should be taken more literally as

                  return (ToBe == true);

                  But no, this is silly - this only takes the first condition and ignores the rest of the system specification. Besides which, it somehow doesn't have the same ring to it this way.

                  R Offline
                  R Offline
                  Rage
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #15

                  Seems like you are slightly getting all the subtleties of Shakespeare's genius ;P OTOH, it is disastrous to see how the best translation in programming language, namely return Question; ( as you very correctly pointed out ) completely ruins the effect.

                  N L 2 Replies Last reply
                  0
                  • R Rage

                    if (life == ToBe)
                    return Question
                    else if (life != ToBe)
                    return Question

                    M Offline
                    M Offline
                    Member 4289613
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #16

                    We can optimize it! :))

                    if (life == ToBe || life != ToBe)
                    return Question

                    So, finally, that's the statement:

                    if (true)
                    return Question

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • R Rage

                      Seems like you are slightly getting all the subtleties of Shakespeare's genius ;P OTOH, it is disastrous to see how the best translation in programming language, namely return Question; ( as you very correctly pointed out ) completely ruins the effect.

                      N Offline
                      N Offline
                      Norman Dziedzic
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #17

                      Question = (2 * b) || !(2 * b); Is a nicer form but still only = Question; Then again Wit.soul = brevity;

                      H A 2 Replies Last reply
                      0
                      • A Andrew Rissing

                        A few coworkers were joking about writing poetry in code and I was curious to put it up here as a challenge to others. The premise is that you must write something that is poetry that is reasonably compilable (i.e. excluding the scaffolding of the language of choice). Bonus points if it produces output that is relevant to the theme of the poem. Here is an example to get you started:

                        float myhope;
                        float mypride;
                        if (myhope is Empty)
                        Goto ZeroDivide;

                        U Offline
                        U Offline
                        User 8527408
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #18

                        //OK, so it's plagerism! bool shallI; string thee; shallI = chkShallI.Checked; thee = txtYou.Text; string str1 = "Summers Day"; woman thou; if (shallI) { if (thee.Compare(str1) > 0) { thou.Loveliness += str1.Loveliness; //string extension method thou.Temperateness += str1.Temperateness // or you.Temperature ?? } else { thou.Loveliness -= str1.Loveliness; thou.Temperateness -= str1.Temperateness } }

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • L Lost User

                          /* Program LIFE
                          Implementation date: 04/12/60
                          Author: H.H. Evans
                          www.hiraethog.org
                          Notes: Run once only.
                          Parameters: None.
                          Date : 07/10/95
                          */

                          While NOT EndOfLife
                          DO();
                          Seek_Nipple();
                          Mimic_Betters();
                          Rebel();
                          Seek_Nipple();

                            MULTIPLY self BY wife GIVING children;
                            If Age < PastCaring% then
                               Birthday\_Candles% = Birthday\_Candles% + 1;
                            endIf
                          
                            Regret(Lost\_Opportunity);
                            WishFor(Youth);
                            ACCEPT Fate;
                          

                          ENDDO;

                          EndWhile;

                          STOP RUN.

                          www.hiraethog.org

                          P Offline
                          P Offline
                          Peter Kassenaar
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #19

                          Very Nice. The full circle of life in a while loop.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • A Andrew Rissing

                            A few coworkers were joking about writing poetry in code and I was curious to put it up here as a challenge to others. The premise is that you must write something that is poetry that is reasonably compilable (i.e. excluding the scaffolding of the language of choice). Bonus points if it produces output that is relevant to the theme of the poem. Here is an example to get you started:

                            float myhope;
                            float mypride;
                            if (myhope is Empty)
                            Goto ZeroDivide;

                            J Offline
                            J Offline
                            Jeffrey Ryman
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #20

                            I don't have a poem, but I do have an interesting (I hope) story. I learned to program back in the 1960s on IBM equipment using punch cards. One evening four years ago I was waiting for my food in a Mexican fast food joint in Las Vegas and having a casual conversation with a couple of other customers about my age when the discussion somehow turned to old computers and using cards. It turned out that this lady and her husband had been programmers in the military back during the Vietnam war. While her husband was stationed someplace in South Vietnam, she was back in the US. During the period he remained overseas they exchanged love letters on punch cards. Their correspondence may or may not have rhymed, but I'm sure it was poetry to them. :-D

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • A Andrew Rissing

                              A few coworkers were joking about writing poetry in code and I was curious to put it up here as a challenge to others. The premise is that you must write something that is poetry that is reasonably compilable (i.e. excluding the scaffolding of the language of choice). Bonus points if it produces output that is relevant to the theme of the poem. Here is an example to get you started:

                              float myhope;
                              float mypride;
                              if (myhope is Empty)
                              Goto ZeroDivide;

                              M Offline
                              M Offline
                              Mark Miller
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #21

                              :laugh: Wow! Does this mean I can use Goto in my code again? :laugh: Oh, Goto, I've missed you so You so helped my code to blow Now you've come to me again I can write again with sin! Ok, so it isn't in code, but it's about code...

                              Sincerely, -Mark mamiller@rhsnet.org

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • S StephenPhillips

                                if (life == ToBe)
                                return Question;
                                else if (life != ToBe)
                                return Question;

                                given only two wholly mutually exclusive conditions, this could be simplified to

                                return Question;

                                Either Hamlet was overcomplicating his problem or he was a stickler for convolution. Or perhaps it should be taken more literally as

                                return (ToBe == true);

                                But no, this is silly - this only takes the first condition and ignores the rest of the system specification. Besides which, it somehow doesn't have the same ring to it this way.

                                C Offline
                                C Offline
                                CaptJosh
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #22

                                Perhaps make the two conditions and make them part of the same conditional? e.g.

                                if ((life == ToBe ) || ( life != ToBe ))
                                return Question;

                                CaptJosh There are only 10 kinds of people in the world; those who understand binary and those who don't.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • A Andrew Rissing

                                  A few coworkers were joking about writing poetry in code and I was curious to put it up here as a challenge to others. The premise is that you must write something that is poetry that is reasonably compilable (i.e. excluding the scaffolding of the language of choice). Bonus points if it produces output that is relevant to the theme of the poem. Here is an example to get you started:

                                  float myhope;
                                  float mypride;
                                  if (myhope is Empty)
                                  Goto ZeroDivide;

                                  M Offline
                                  M Offline
                                  Michael A Cochran
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #23

                                  How about SQL? DECLARE @ROSE CHAR(1); SELECT @ROSE=IS_ROSE FROM GARDEN WHERE NAME IN (SELECT @NAME FROM NAMES); DECLARE @IS_SWEET CHAR(1); SELECT @IS_SWEET=@IS_ROSE;

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • A Andrew Rissing

                                    A few coworkers were joking about writing poetry in code and I was curious to put it up here as a challenge to others. The premise is that you must write something that is poetry that is reasonably compilable (i.e. excluding the scaffolding of the language of choice). Bonus points if it produces output that is relevant to the theme of the poem. Here is an example to get you started:

                                    float myhope;
                                    float mypride;
                                    if (myhope is Empty)
                                    Goto ZeroDivide;

                                    S Offline
                                    S Offline
                                    SirTimothy
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #24

                                    Adapted from an excerpt from Dr. Seuss' Fox In Socks. Not quite as smooth as I'd like, but it works.

                                    if (fighter1 is TweetleBeetle
                                    && fighter2 is TweetleBeetle
                                    && theWeapon is Paddle
                                    && thePlace is Puddle
                                    && thePlace.place is Bottle)
                                    return new TweetleBeetleBottlePuddlePaddleBattleMuddle();

                                    If fighter one is tweetle beetle, Fighter two is tweetle beetle, And the weapon is a paddle, And the place is a puddle, And the place's place is bottle, then return new TweetleBeetleBottlePuddlePaddleBattleMuddle

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • A Andrew Rissing

                                      A few coworkers were joking about writing poetry in code and I was curious to put it up here as a challenge to others. The premise is that you must write something that is poetry that is reasonably compilable (i.e. excluding the scaffolding of the language of choice). Bonus points if it produces output that is relevant to the theme of the poem. Here is an example to get you started:

                                      float myhope;
                                      float mypride;
                                      if (myhope is Empty)
                                      Goto ZeroDivide;

                                      A Offline
                                      A Offline
                                      Aiscrim
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #25

                                      If this is real Then
                                      Nothing
                                      Else
                                      matters(2, Me)

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • D Dalek Dave

                                        . . / | { , , SYSTEM HALTED

                                        . . / Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash, | { , , SYSTEM HALTED Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH.

                                        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

                                        A Offline
                                        A Offline
                                        Alan Burkhart
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #26

                                        :thumbsup::thumbsup:

                                        XAlan Burkhart

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                                        • A Andrew Rissing

                                          A few coworkers were joking about writing poetry in code and I was curious to put it up here as a challenge to others. The premise is that you must write something that is poetry that is reasonably compilable (i.e. excluding the scaffolding of the language of choice). Bonus points if it produces output that is relevant to the theme of the poem. Here is an example to get you started:

                                          float myhope;
                                          float mypride;
                                          if (myhope is Empty)
                                          Goto ZeroDivide;

                                          B Offline
                                          B Offline
                                          BillWoodruff
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #27

                                          Note: at the time I wrote this, I had not read the other posts, and did not realize others were already taking on Hamlet's famous soliloquy.

                                          // c#

                                          bool? TheQuestion = true;
                                          bool? ToBe = true;

                                          public bool? ToBeOrNotToBe()
                                          {
                                          return (TheQuestion == true && ToBe == true) ? ToBe : null;
                                          }

                                          "Our life is a faint tracing on the surface of mystery, like the idle, curved tunnels of leaf miners on the surface of a leaf. We must somehow take a wider view, look at the whole landscape, really see it, and describe what's going on here. Then we can at least wail the right question into the swaddling band of darkness, or, if it comes to that, choir the proper praise." Annie Dillard

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