Opening can of worms : Question ?
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Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.
<puts on John McEnroe voice> You cannot be serious!
Unrequited desire is character building. OriginalGriff I'm sitting here giving you a standing ovation - Len Goodman
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Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.
Looks to me like she told you what's missing. I bet you're not much of a debugger, are you...
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997 -
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Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.
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d@nish wrote:
Trying buying gifts and praising her for everything.
Translated: Try wasting your money in an attempt to buy her off, and lie to her. That's the kind of advice you get from geeks. Asking for relationship advice on a technical forum is the next best thing to stupid that I know of.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997 -
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Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.
Welcome to the principle of diminishing rewards/law of diminishing returns/principle of "I have this, now I want more". http://searchcrm.techtarget.com/definition/law-of-diminishing-returns[^] Basically, my advice is "keep 'em lean, keep 'em keen". Trade her in for a younger model and see how quickly her expectations become re-aligned. Or keep going as you are, and let her break up with you if she can't get what she wants from you. Some here may disagree, calling me unromantic or insensitive, but actually nothing could be further from the truth. I reckon the worst thing you could do is get sucked in. If you feel you're doing enough, and she doesn't, well then goshdarn it either she wants too much from you or you're not together enough to give her what she wants. Break it off. You could amp up the hand-holding and the candlelight dinners, and suffer for the relationship, or keep on going and focus on your own life. There are plenty of fish in the sea. At least you'll find out if she cares. If she does, she'll call you after the usual cooling-off period, and then you'll see. if she doesn't, well then it was the right choice anyway. It's really quite simple, looked at objectively. The bit that makes it subjective is the perceived threat of having the ready availability of sex removed from your list of things to distract yourself with, or the possibility that you're "Screwing It Up" with "The One". If she's "The One", you'll find out soon enough. Of course, you actually may be a selfish unfeeling brute who pays no attention to her needs and desires who only uses her for sex and to tell your friends about this hot chick you're bangin', in which case DEFINITELY break it off.
Beautiful is better than ugly. Explicit is better than implicit. Simple is better than complex. Complex is better than complicated. Flat is better than nested. Sparse is better than dense. In the face of ambiguity, refuse the temptation to guess.
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d@nish wrote:
Trying buying gifts and praising her for everything.
Translated: Try wasting your money in an attempt to buy her off, and lie to her. That's the kind of advice you get from geeks. Asking for relationship advice on a technical forum is the next best thing to stupid that I know of.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:
Translated:
Try wasting your money in an attempt to buy her off, and lie to her.Amen to that!
Beautiful is better than ugly. Explicit is better than implicit. Simple is better than complex. Complex is better than complicated. Flat is better than nested. Sparse is better than dense. In the face of ambiguity, refuse the temptation to guess.
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Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.
virang_21 wrote:
she started complaining
Once it starts, it will never end.
virang_21 wrote:
lot of things
Not just one thing means there is too much wrong with you in her eyes.
virang_21 wrote:
not giving her more
It'll never be enough.
virang_21 wrote:
what is more "special" am I missing?
The right girl friend. It is time to move on my friend.
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.
Dinner, beer, shag, dump. If she is too immature to realise that life is not a bowl of cherries, then get what you need from her and then get out.
--------------------------------- I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] English League Tables - Live
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Welcome to the principle of diminishing rewards/law of diminishing returns/principle of "I have this, now I want more". http://searchcrm.techtarget.com/definition/law-of-diminishing-returns[^] Basically, my advice is "keep 'em lean, keep 'em keen". Trade her in for a younger model and see how quickly her expectations become re-aligned. Or keep going as you are, and let her break up with you if she can't get what she wants from you. Some here may disagree, calling me unromantic or insensitive, but actually nothing could be further from the truth. I reckon the worst thing you could do is get sucked in. If you feel you're doing enough, and she doesn't, well then goshdarn it either she wants too much from you or you're not together enough to give her what she wants. Break it off. You could amp up the hand-holding and the candlelight dinners, and suffer for the relationship, or keep on going and focus on your own life. There are plenty of fish in the sea. At least you'll find out if she cares. If she does, she'll call you after the usual cooling-off period, and then you'll see. if she doesn't, well then it was the right choice anyway. It's really quite simple, looked at objectively. The bit that makes it subjective is the perceived threat of having the ready availability of sex removed from your list of things to distract yourself with, or the possibility that you're "Screwing It Up" with "The One". If she's "The One", you'll find out soon enough. Of course, you actually may be a selfish unfeeling brute who pays no attention to her needs and desires who only uses her for sex and to tell your friends about this hot chick you're bangin', in which case DEFINITELY break it off.
Beautiful is better than ugly. Explicit is better than implicit. Simple is better than complex. Complex is better than complicated. Flat is better than nested. Sparse is better than dense. In the face of ambiguity, refuse the temptation to guess.
Mel Padden wrote:
Of course, you actually may be a selfish unfeeling brute who pays no attention to her needs and desires who only uses her for sex and to tell your friends about this hot chick you're bangin', in which case DEFINITELY break it off.
DEFINITELY not the case.. Thanks for the advice by the way... Have to think ... Thinking cap on...
Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.
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d@nish wrote:
Trying buying gifts and praising her for everything.
Translated: Try wasting your money in an attempt to buy her off, and lie to her. That's the kind of advice you get from geeks. Asking for relationship advice on a technical forum is the next best thing to stupid that I know of.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997 -
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Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.
Don't worry about relationships right now. Enjoy your life as a single man and have some fun. Everything else will unfold itself naturally down the road. :)
"the meat from that butcher is just the dogs danglies, absolutely amazing cuts of beef." - DaveAuld (2011)
"No, that is just the earthly manifestation of the Great God Retardon." - Nagy Vilmos (2011) "It is the celestial scrotum of good luck!" - Nagy Vilmos (2011) -
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Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.
I'm sorry, but I don't understand women. There's a medical term for that; married.
*pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington
"Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos
My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier - my favourite utility
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Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.
virang_21 wrote:
recently she started complaining about lot of things
You're not even engaged and she's already in that place? Run, run fast. Now the disclaimer. Is she really complaining or are you being a b***h? Maybe she's trying to communicate with you like a well adjusted adult. (a)dinners->for you too, and to lead to c (b)drinks->for you too, and to lead to c (c)physical relationship->for you mostly (d)messages->depends on the messages, are they selfless or do you just want to know what she's doing or tell her what your day has been like? (e)spending time together->doesn't mean much if it's not selfless You haven't said anything to indicate you're giving her attention. You haven't said anything on the contrary either, but either it was the beer talking or your points were subconciously ambiguous.
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Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.
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d@nish wrote:
Trying buying gifts and praising her for everything.
Translated: Try wasting your money in an attempt to buy her off, and lie to her. That's the kind of advice you get from geeks. Asking for relationship advice on a technical forum is the next best thing to stupid that I know of.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997 -
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Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.
I do exactly what I want to do and my wife tells me what I want.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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Looks to me like she told you what's missing. I bet you're not much of a debugger, are you...
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997I'm no cactus expert, but OP sure sounds like a prick to me.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.
I have to agree with most of the other advice here. 1. Concerning her list of demands...we don't live in the Victorian age, women are all empowered and such. Relationships go both ways now. Is she putting forth effort to do special things for you? Spend more time with you? If she just expects you to make everything happen around her while she soaks it up, that would be a red flag. 2. My rule of thumb is you give 'em an hour a day (on average). Maybe a bit more while dating. If that is not enough, then you are better off cutting your losses now. My best guess is that she is thinking the relationship is not progressing and is making a last-ditch attempt to see if it can be revived before giving up and moving on.