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  3. Opening can of worms : Question ?

Opening can of worms : Question ?

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  • R realJSOP

    d@nish wrote:

    Trying buying gifts and praising her for everything.

    Translated: Try wasting your money in an attempt to buy her off, and lie to her. That's the kind of advice you get from geeks. Asking for relationship advice on a technical forum is the next best thing to stupid that I know of.

    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
    -----
    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
    -----
    "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

    M Offline
    M Offline
    Mel Padden
    wrote on last edited by
    #8

    John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

    Translated:
     
    Try wasting your money in an attempt to buy her off, and lie to her.

    Amen to that!

    Beautiful is better than ugly. Explicit is better than implicit. Simple is better than complex. Complex is better than complicated. Flat is better than nested. Sparse is better than dense. In the face of ambiguity, refuse the temptation to guess.

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    • V virang_21

      removed

      Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.

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      S Houghtelin
      wrote on last edited by
      #9

      virang_21 wrote:

      she started complaining

      Once it starts, it will never end.

      virang_21 wrote:

      lot of things

      Not just one thing means there is too much wrong with you in her eyes.

      virang_21 wrote:

      not giving her more

      It'll never be enough.

      virang_21 wrote:

      what is more "special" am I missing?

      The right girl friend. It is time to move on my friend.

      It was broke, so I fixed it.

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      • V virang_21

        removed

        Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.

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        Dalek Dave
        wrote on last edited by
        #10

        Dinner, beer, shag, dump. If she is too immature to realise that life is not a bowl of cherries, then get what you need from her and then get out.

        --------------------------------- I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] English League Tables - Live

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        • M Mel Padden

          Welcome to the principle of diminishing rewards/law of diminishing returns/principle of "I have this, now I want more". http://searchcrm.techtarget.com/definition/law-of-diminishing-returns[^] Basically, my advice is "keep 'em lean, keep 'em keen". Trade her in for a younger model and see how quickly her expectations become re-aligned. Or keep going as you are, and let her break up with you if she can't get what she wants from you. Some here may disagree, calling me unromantic or insensitive, but actually nothing could be further from the truth. I reckon the worst thing you could do is get sucked in. If you feel you're doing enough, and she doesn't, well then goshdarn it either she wants too much from you or you're not together enough to give her what she wants. Break it off. You could amp up the hand-holding and the candlelight dinners, and suffer for the relationship, or keep on going and focus on your own life. There are plenty of fish in the sea. At least you'll find out if she cares. If she does, she'll call you after the usual cooling-off period, and then you'll see. if she doesn't, well then it was the right choice anyway. It's really quite simple, looked at objectively. The bit that makes it subjective is the perceived threat of having the ready availability of sex removed from your list of things to distract yourself with, or the possibility that you're "Screwing It Up" with "The One". If she's "The One", you'll find out soon enough. Of course, you actually may be a selfish unfeeling brute who pays no attention to her needs and desires who only uses her for sex and to tell your friends about this hot chick you're bangin', in which case DEFINITELY break it off.

          Beautiful is better than ugly. Explicit is better than implicit. Simple is better than complex. Complex is better than complicated. Flat is better than nested. Sparse is better than dense. In the face of ambiguity, refuse the temptation to guess.

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          virang_21
          wrote on last edited by
          #11

          Mel Padden wrote:

          Of course, you actually may be a selfish unfeeling brute who pays no attention to her needs and desires who only uses her for sex and to tell your friends about this hot chick you're bangin', in which case DEFINITELY break it off.

          DEFINITELY not the case.. Thanks for the advice by the way... Have to think ... Thinking cap on...

          Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.

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          • R realJSOP

            d@nish wrote:

            Trying buying gifts and praising her for everything.

            Translated: Try wasting your money in an attempt to buy her off, and lie to her. That's the kind of advice you get from geeks. Asking for relationship advice on a technical forum is the next best thing to stupid that I know of.

            ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
            -----
            You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
            -----
            "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

            D Offline
            D Offline
            dan sh
            wrote on last edited by
            #12

            John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

            Asking for relationship advice on a technical forum is the next best thing to stupid that I know of.

            ROFLMAO! 5ved.

            "The worst code you'll come across is code you wrote last year.", wizardzz[^]

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            • V virang_21

              removed

              Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.

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              S Offline
              Slacker007
              wrote on last edited by
              #13

              Don't worry about relationships right now. Enjoy your life as a single man and have some fun. Everything else will unfold itself naturally down the road. :)

              "the meat from that butcher is just the dogs danglies, absolutely amazing cuts of beef." - DaveAuld (2011)
              "No, that is just the earthly manifestation of the Great God Retardon." - Nagy Vilmos (2011) "It is the celestial scrotum of good luck!" - Nagy Vilmos (2011)

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              • V virang_21

                removed

                Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.

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                Pete OHanlon
                wrote on last edited by
                #14

                I'm sorry, but I don't understand women. There's a medical term for that; married.

                *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier - my favourite utility

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                • V virang_21

                  removed

                  Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.

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                  tgrt
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #15

                  virang_21 wrote:

                  recently she started complaining about lot of things

                  You're not even engaged and she's already in that place? Run, run fast. Now the disclaimer. Is she really complaining or are you being a b***h? Maybe she's trying to communicate with you like a well adjusted adult. (a)dinners->for you too, and to lead to c (b)drinks->for you too, and to lead to c (c)physical relationship->for you mostly (d)messages->depends on the messages, are they selfless or do you just want to know what she's doing or tell her what your day has been like? (e)spending time together->doesn't mean much if it's not selfless You haven't said anything to indicate you're giving her attention. You haven't said anything on the contrary either, but either it was the beer talking or your points were subconciously ambiguous.

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                  • V virang_21

                    removed

                    Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.

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                    NormDroid
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #16

                    She's what we call a high maintenance model. Time to bail out, don the parachute and jump....

                    Software Kinetics Wear a hard hat it's under construction
                    Metro RSS

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                    • R realJSOP

                      d@nish wrote:

                      Trying buying gifts and praising her for everything.

                      Translated: Try wasting your money in an attempt to buy her off, and lie to her. That's the kind of advice you get from geeks. Asking for relationship advice on a technical forum is the next best thing to stupid that I know of.

                      ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                      -----
                      You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                      -----
                      "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                      D Offline
                      D Offline
                      dan sh
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #17

                      John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                      Asking for relationship advice on a technical forum is the next best thing to stupid that I know of.

                      Shamelessly hijacked and posted in FaceCrap.

                      "The worst code you'll come across is code you wrote last year.", wizardzz[^]

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                      • V virang_21

                        removed

                        Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.

                        N Offline
                        N Offline
                        Nagy Vilmos
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #18

                        I do exactly what I want to do and my wife tells me what I want.


                        Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

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                        • R realJSOP

                          Looks to me like she told you what's missing. I bet you're not much of a debugger, are you...

                          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                          -----
                          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                          -----
                          "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                          N Offline
                          N Offline
                          Nagy Vilmos
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #19

                          I'm no cactus expert, but OP sure sounds like a prick to me.


                          Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

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                          • V virang_21

                            removed

                            Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.

                            R Offline
                            R Offline
                            Roy from Detroit
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #20

                            I have to agree with most of the other advice here. 1. Concerning her list of demands...we don't live in the Victorian age, women are all empowered and such. Relationships go both ways now. Is she putting forth effort to do special things for you? Spend more time with you? If she just expects you to make everything happen around her while she soaks it up, that would be a red flag. 2. My rule of thumb is you give 'em an hour a day (on average). Maybe a bit more while dating. If that is not enough, then you are better off cutting your losses now. My best guess is that she is thinking the relationship is not progressing and is making a last-ditch attempt to see if it can be revived before giving up and moving on.

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                            • V virang_21

                              removed

                              Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.

                              V Offline
                              V Offline
                              V 0
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #21

                              virang_21 wrote:

                              or not doing anything special for her ... dinners, drinks, physical relationship ( P.S. Adult material ) ,messages,spending time together...

                              So let me get this straight: * You don't take her out to dinner or very rarely * You never go out for a drink or very rarely * You have no sex (do you do something else physical, like kissing, ...?) * You don't spend time with her

                              Or do you do all those things?
                              if(true){
                              Application.Exit(); //or Close() or whatever other function is necessary to get out.
                              }
                              else{
                              Application.Run(new GetStartedAsapForm());
                              }

                              V.

                              N R 2 Replies Last reply
                              0
                              • V V 0

                                virang_21 wrote:

                                or not doing anything special for her ... dinners, drinks, physical relationship ( P.S. Adult material ) ,messages,spending time together...

                                So let me get this straight: * You don't take her out to dinner or very rarely * You never go out for a drink or very rarely * You have no sex (do you do something else physical, like kissing, ...?) * You don't spend time with her

                                Or do you do all those things?
                                if(true){
                                Application.Exit(); //or Close() or whatever other function is necessary to get out.
                                }
                                else{
                                Application.Run(new GetStartedAsapForm());
                                }

                                V.

                                N Offline
                                N Offline
                                NormDroid
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #22

                                V. wrote:

                                So let me get this straight:
                                * You don't take her out to dinner or very rarely
                                * You never go out for a drink or very rarely
                                * You have no sex (do you do something else physical, like kissing, ...?)
                                * You don't spend time with her

                                When you put it that way it almost sounds like he's already married.

                                Software Kinetics Wear a hard hat it's under construction
                                Metro RSS

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                                • D Dalek Dave

                                  Dinner, beer, shag, dump. If she is too immature to realise that life is not a bowl of cherries, then get what you need from her and then get out.

                                  --------------------------------- I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] English League Tables - Live

                                  A Offline
                                  A Offline
                                  Alberto Bar Noy
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #23

                                  Dalek Dave wrote:

                                  life is not a bowl of cherries

                                  Silly me... and I thought it was a box of chocolates :D

                                  Alberto Bar-Noy --------------- “The city’s central computer told you? R2D2, you know better than to trust a strange computer!” (C3PO)

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                                  • V V 0

                                    virang_21 wrote:

                                    or not doing anything special for her ... dinners, drinks, physical relationship ( P.S. Adult material ) ,messages,spending time together...

                                    So let me get this straight: * You don't take her out to dinner or very rarely * You never go out for a drink or very rarely * You have no sex (do you do something else physical, like kissing, ...?) * You don't spend time with her

                                    Or do you do all those things?
                                    if(true){
                                    Application.Exit(); //or Close() or whatever other function is necessary to get out.
                                    }
                                    else{
                                    Application.Run(new GetStartedAsapForm());
                                    }

                                    V.

                                    R Offline
                                    R Offline
                                    realJSOP
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #24

                                    Adding code is pointless. He's not a debugger.

                                    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                    -----
                                    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                    -----
                                    "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • V virang_21

                                      removed

                                      Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.

                                      N Offline
                                      N Offline
                                      Not Active
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #25

                                      Have you tried posting to the Relationships Forum ;P


                                      Failure is not an option; it's the default selection.

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                                      • V virang_21

                                        removed

                                        Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.

                                        L Offline
                                        L Offline
                                        Lost User
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #26

                                        She's showing her true colors before marriage. Consider yourself lucky. My advice: Get out. Get out now.

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                                        • V virang_21

                                          removed

                                          Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf * Math is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.

                                          G Offline
                                          G Offline
                                          GuyThiebaut
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #27

                                          A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer when all of a sudden he said aloud, "Lord grant me one wish". The sky clouded and a booming voice said, "Because you have tried to be faithful I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want to." The Lord answered, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time to think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me". The man thought for a long time and finally said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know what they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy?" After a few minutes God said, "How many lanes did you want on that bridge?"

                                          “That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”

                                          ― Christopher Hitchens

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