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  4. Seeing as it's weak jokes week

Seeing as it's weak jokes week

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Soapbox
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  • K Offline
    K Offline
    Keith Barrow
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Three scientists of different disciplines encounter a perfectly normal situation. The first two say something appropriate to their respective fields. The third one says something entirely useless and unexpected for the situation yet humerous and bizarrely appropriate for his occupation. Three people of different nationalities walk into a room. The first two say something witty and intelligent, while the third insults all of his countrymen by responding like an idiot. How many stereotypes does it take to change a lightbulb? The exact number to bring this joke to a humourous conclusion. A family goes to a talent agent, who is disinterested in their act. The father pleads fr an audition, and the agent agrees. The family perform several taboo-breaking and ad-libbed acts. The agent asks "What the heck do you call an act like that?" and the punchline is a let-down.

    Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
    -Or-
    A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

    D N Mike HankeyM J W 6 Replies Last reply
    0
    • K Keith Barrow

      Three scientists of different disciplines encounter a perfectly normal situation. The first two say something appropriate to their respective fields. The third one says something entirely useless and unexpected for the situation yet humerous and bizarrely appropriate for his occupation. Three people of different nationalities walk into a room. The first two say something witty and intelligent, while the third insults all of his countrymen by responding like an idiot. How many stereotypes does it take to change a lightbulb? The exact number to bring this joke to a humourous conclusion. A family goes to a talent agent, who is disinterested in their act. The father pleads fr an audition, and the agent agrees. The family perform several taboo-breaking and ad-libbed acts. The agent asks "What the heck do you call an act like that?" and the punchline is a let-down.

      Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
      -Or-
      A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

      D Offline
      D Offline
      Dalek Dave
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      What's black and white and eats like a horse? A Zebra.

      --------------------------------- I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] English League Tables - Live

      H 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • K Keith Barrow

        Three scientists of different disciplines encounter a perfectly normal situation. The first two say something appropriate to their respective fields. The third one says something entirely useless and unexpected for the situation yet humerous and bizarrely appropriate for his occupation. Three people of different nationalities walk into a room. The first two say something witty and intelligent, while the third insults all of his countrymen by responding like an idiot. How many stereotypes does it take to change a lightbulb? The exact number to bring this joke to a humourous conclusion. A family goes to a talent agent, who is disinterested in their act. The father pleads fr an audition, and the agent agrees. The family perform several taboo-breaking and ad-libbed acts. The agent asks "What the heck do you call an act like that?" and the punchline is a let-down.

        Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
        -Or-
        A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

        N Offline
        N Offline
        Nagy Vilmos
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        What's pink and hard? A pig with a knife.


        Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • K Keith Barrow

          Three scientists of different disciplines encounter a perfectly normal situation. The first two say something appropriate to their respective fields. The third one says something entirely useless and unexpected for the situation yet humerous and bizarrely appropriate for his occupation. Three people of different nationalities walk into a room. The first two say something witty and intelligent, while the third insults all of his countrymen by responding like an idiot. How many stereotypes does it take to change a lightbulb? The exact number to bring this joke to a humourous conclusion. A family goes to a talent agent, who is disinterested in their act. The father pleads fr an audition, and the agent agrees. The family perform several taboo-breaking and ad-libbed acts. The agent asks "What the heck do you call an act like that?" and the punchline is a let-down.

          Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
          -Or-
          A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

          Mike HankeyM Offline
          Mike HankeyM Offline
          Mike Hankey
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          What's yellow and tough? A banana with an attitude!

          VS2010/Atmel Studio 6.0 ToDo Manager Extension
          Version 3.0 now available. There is no place like 127.0.0.1

          J 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • K Keith Barrow

            Three scientists of different disciplines encounter a perfectly normal situation. The first two say something appropriate to their respective fields. The third one says something entirely useless and unexpected for the situation yet humerous and bizarrely appropriate for his occupation. Three people of different nationalities walk into a room. The first two say something witty and intelligent, while the third insults all of his countrymen by responding like an idiot. How many stereotypes does it take to change a lightbulb? The exact number to bring this joke to a humourous conclusion. A family goes to a talent agent, who is disinterested in their act. The father pleads fr an audition, and the agent agrees. The family perform several taboo-breaking and ad-libbed acts. The agent asks "What the heck do you call an act like that?" and the punchline is a let-down.

            Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
            -Or-
            A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

            J Offline
            J Offline
            Johnny J
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            What's this? A "Do-it-yourself joke kit"??? :confused:

            Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
            -----
            Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
            -----
            Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
            -----
            Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932

            B K 2 Replies Last reply
            0
            • J Johnny J

              What's this? A "Do-it-yourself joke kit"??? :confused:

              Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
              -----
              Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
              -----
              Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
              -----
              Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932

              B Offline
              B Offline
              Bergholt Stuttley Johnson
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Joke base classes of course

              You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • J Johnny J

                What's this? A "Do-it-yourself joke kit"??? :confused:

                Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
                -----
                Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
                -----
                Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
                -----
                Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932

                K Offline
                K Offline
                Keith Barrow
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Google "Meta Humour" - Jokes about jokes, seem appropiate, given the number of Jokes this week.

                Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
                -Or-
                A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

                  What's yellow and tough? A banana with an attitude!

                  VS2010/Atmel Studio 6.0 ToDo Manager Extension
                  Version 3.0 now available. There is no place like 127.0.0.1

                  J Offline
                  J Offline
                  J4amieC
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  What's Pink and Fluffy? Pink fluff. Brown and sticky? A stick!

                  L 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • J J4amieC

                    What's Pink and Fluffy? Pink fluff. Brown and sticky? A stick!

                    L Offline
                    L Offline
                    Lost User
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Blue and square? Not an orange.

                    Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

                    _ 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • K Keith Barrow

                      Three scientists of different disciplines encounter a perfectly normal situation. The first two say something appropriate to their respective fields. The third one says something entirely useless and unexpected for the situation yet humerous and bizarrely appropriate for his occupation. Three people of different nationalities walk into a room. The first two say something witty and intelligent, while the third insults all of his countrymen by responding like an idiot. How many stereotypes does it take to change a lightbulb? The exact number to bring this joke to a humourous conclusion. A family goes to a talent agent, who is disinterested in their act. The father pleads fr an audition, and the agent agrees. The family perform several taboo-breaking and ad-libbed acts. The agent asks "What the heck do you call an act like that?" and the punchline is a let-down.

                      Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
                      -Or-
                      A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

                      W Offline
                      W Offline
                      wizardzz
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      Brilliant.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • L Lost User

                        Blue and square? Not an orange.

                        Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

                        _ Offline
                        _ Offline
                        _Damian S_
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!

                        Silence is golden... but duct tape is silver!! Booger Mobile - My bright green 1964 Ford Falcon - check out the blog here!! | If you feel generous - make a donation to Camp Quality!!

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • D Dalek Dave

                          What's black and white and eats like a horse? A Zebra.

                          --------------------------------- I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] English League Tables - Live

                          H Offline
                          H Offline
                          Hermaine
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          hahaha.. nice joke..

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • K Keith Barrow

                            Three scientists of different disciplines encounter a perfectly normal situation. The first two say something appropriate to their respective fields. The third one says something entirely useless and unexpected for the situation yet humerous and bizarrely appropriate for his occupation. Three people of different nationalities walk into a room. The first two say something witty and intelligent, while the third insults all of his countrymen by responding like an idiot. How many stereotypes does it take to change a lightbulb? The exact number to bring this joke to a humourous conclusion. A family goes to a talent agent, who is disinterested in their act. The father pleads fr an audition, and the agent agrees. The family perform several taboo-breaking and ad-libbed acts. The agent asks "What the heck do you call an act like that?" and the punchline is a let-down.

                            Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
                            -Or-
                            A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

                            I Offline
                            I Offline
                            Indivara
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            Let me add add a generic limerick to that

                            There once was a [person] from [place] Whose [body part] was [special case]. When [event] would occur It would cause [him or her] To violate [law of time/space].

                            B 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • I Indivara

                              Let me add add a generic limerick to that

                              There once was a [person] from [place] Whose [body part] was [special case]. When [event] would occur It would cause [him or her] To violate [law of time/space].

                              B Offline
                              B Offline
                              Bassam Abdul Baki
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              Now this is gold!

                              Web - BM - RSS - Math - LinkedIn

                              1 Reply Last reply
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