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  3. I'm Pulling My Money From The Bank

I'm Pulling My Money From The Bank

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  • L Offline
    L Offline
    Lost User
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    A bank requested a file from my place of business today. The file had to be in the Excel '95 format. Yeah, you read that right... Excel 1995. Based on this information I've decided to rob this bank. I've got a six shooter and a horse. I just need a few sticks of dynamite to blow the safe. Who is in?

    T I J S J 6 Replies Last reply
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    • L Lost User

      A bank requested a file from my place of business today. The file had to be in the Excel '95 format. Yeah, you read that right... Excel 1995. Based on this information I've decided to rob this bank. I've got a six shooter and a horse. I just need a few sticks of dynamite to blow the safe. Who is in?

      T Offline
      T Offline
      Tim Corey
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Hey, quit picking on the banks. They can't afford the newest technologies. They barely make any money...nevermind, I thought I could keep a straight face when I said that but I couldn't. I'll bring the nitro (bigger bang). We just need a couple fall guys that get caught and hung and we will be all set.

      OriginalGriffO S L 3 Replies Last reply
      0
      • L Lost User

        A bank requested a file from my place of business today. The file had to be in the Excel '95 format. Yeah, you read that right... Excel 1995. Based on this information I've decided to rob this bank. I've got a six shooter and a horse. I just need a few sticks of dynamite to blow the safe. Who is in?

        I Offline
        I Offline
        IdUnknown
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Amateur. Everyone knows that if you want to get away with it, you've to work your up to be the CEO of the bank. Then, you can steal from the customers and get bail outs from the people without going to jail.

        L P 2 Replies Last reply
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        • I IdUnknown

          Amateur. Everyone knows that if you want to get away with it, you've to work your up to be the CEO of the bank. Then, you can steal from the customers and get bail outs from the people without going to jail.

          L Offline
          L Offline
          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          The the banker only hands out the nice positions to family. Plus robbing the bank is much quicker. It is almost risk free as the sheriff is always drunk and messing around with Miss Kitty in the saloon. The only unknown is this steely-eyed fellow who just road into town. He has no name and looks like trouble.

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          • T Tim Corey

            Hey, quit picking on the banks. They can't afford the newest technologies. They barely make any money...nevermind, I thought I could keep a straight face when I said that but I couldn't. I'll bring the nitro (bigger bang). We just need a couple fall guys that get caught and hung and we will be all set.

            OriginalGriffO Offline
            OriginalGriffO Offline
            OriginalGriff
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            I know a Diamond geezer who needs a job. He's used to banks, and to robbin'. Might want a large bonus though.

            Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water

            "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
            "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

            T 1 Reply Last reply
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            • I IdUnknown

              Amateur. Everyone knows that if you want to get away with it, you've to work your up to be the CEO of the bank. Then, you can steal from the customers and get bail outs from the people without going to jail.

              P Offline
              P Offline
              Pualee
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              This is a lesson in "work smarter, not harder".

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • L Lost User

                The the banker only hands out the nice positions to family. Plus robbing the bank is much quicker. It is almost risk free as the sheriff is always drunk and messing around with Miss Kitty in the saloon. The only unknown is this steely-eyed fellow who just road into town. He has no name and looks like trouble.

                P Offline
                P Offline
                PIEBALDconsult
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                With a Big Iron on his hip.

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • T Tim Corey

                  Hey, quit picking on the banks. They can't afford the newest technologies. They barely make any money...nevermind, I thought I could keep a straight face when I said that but I couldn't. I'll bring the nitro (bigger bang). We just need a couple fall guys that get caught and hung and we will be all set.

                  S Offline
                  S Offline
                  Slacker007
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Tim Corey wrote:

                  We just need a couple fall guys that get caught and hung and we will be all set

                  Some hamsters might do. :rolleyes:

                  "the meat from that butcher is just the dogs danglies, absolutely amazing cuts of beef." - DaveAuld (2011)
                  "No, that is just the earthly manifestation of the Great God Retardon." - Nagy Vilmos (2011) "It is the celestial scrotum of good luck!" - Nagy Vilmos (2011) "But you probably have the smoothest scrotum of any grown man" - Pete O'Hanlon (2012)

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • L Lost User

                    A bank requested a file from my place of business today. The file had to be in the Excel '95 format. Yeah, you read that right... Excel 1995. Based on this information I've decided to rob this bank. I've got a six shooter and a horse. I just need a few sticks of dynamite to blow the safe. Who is in?

                    J Offline
                    J Offline
                    jesarg
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    It may be safer to ambush their stagecoach when it rolls into town and stops at the blacksmith's forge. Just disguise yourself as a milkman or ice deliverer.

                    P 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • J jesarg

                      It may be safer to ambush their stagecoach when it rolls into town and stops at the blacksmith's forge. Just disguise yourself as a milkman or ice deliverer.

                      P Offline
                      P Offline
                      PIEBALDconsult
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      jesarg wrote:

                      their stagecoach

                      Hey now, that's my bank -- you keep your hands off!

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • T Tim Corey

                        Hey, quit picking on the banks. They can't afford the newest technologies. They barely make any money...nevermind, I thought I could keep a straight face when I said that but I couldn't. I'll bring the nitro (bigger bang). We just need a couple fall guys that get caught and hung and we will be all set.

                        L Offline
                        L Offline
                        Lost User
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        Tim Corey wrote:

                        hung

                        No need.... I am already hung. :-O

                        Why is common sense not common? Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level where they are an expert. Sometimes it takes a lot of work to be lazy Please stand in front of my pistol, smile and wait for the flash - JSOP 2012

                        T 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                          I know a Diamond geezer who needs a job. He's used to banks, and to robbin'. Might want a large bonus though.

                          Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water

                          T Offline
                          T Offline
                          Tim Corey
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          We are robbing these guys[^], not hiring them.

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • L Lost User

                            Tim Corey wrote:

                            hung

                            No need.... I am already hung. :-O

                            Why is common sense not common? Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level where they are an expert. Sometimes it takes a lot of work to be lazy Please stand in front of my pistol, smile and wait for the flash - JSOP 2012

                            T Offline
                            T Offline
                            Tim Corey
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            That's what she said...wait, not it isn't. :laugh:

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • L Lost User

                              A bank requested a file from my place of business today. The file had to be in the Excel '95 format. Yeah, you read that right... Excel 1995. Based on this information I've decided to rob this bank. I've got a six shooter and a horse. I just need a few sticks of dynamite to blow the safe. Who is in?

                              S Offline
                              S Offline
                              Steve Mayfield
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              Could have been worse, they could have asked for tab delimited text or Lotus 1-2-3 files :laugh:

                              Steve _________________ I C(++) therefore I am

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • L Lost User

                                A bank requested a file from my place of business today. The file had to be in the Excel '95 format. Yeah, you read that right... Excel 1995. Based on this information I've decided to rob this bank. I've got a six shooter and a horse. I just need a few sticks of dynamite to blow the safe. Who is in?

                                J Offline
                                J Offline
                                Joan M
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                Lucky you, ours use plain text files to show data... X|

                                [www.tamautomation.com] Robots, CNC and PLC machines for grinding and polishing.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • L Lost User

                                  A bank requested a file from my place of business today. The file had to be in the Excel '95 format. Yeah, you read that right... Excel 1995. Based on this information I've decided to rob this bank. I've got a six shooter and a horse. I just need a few sticks of dynamite to blow the safe. Who is in?

                                  M Offline
                                  M Offline
                                  Mark_Wallace
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  It's probably a good idea. I doubt that there are any viruses being written to attack office '95 kit.

                                  I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

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