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World's Worst...

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • W wizardzz

    Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

    I Offline
    I Offline
    Ian Shlasko
    wrote on last edited by
    #38

    "See, the first thing y'all wanna do, is take that there plug, 'n stick it 'n the hole 'round back..."

    Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
    Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)

    W 1 Reply Last reply
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    • W wizardzz

      Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

      T Offline
      T Offline
      thatraja
      wrote on last edited by
      #39

      Agree with Chris Meech[^]. Many IVR systems sucks. Yesterday I called my Internet provider when my connection down. *Ringing* Automatic Voice : Welcome to !@#$%^. Press 1 for English Press 2 for [Indian Language 1] Press 3 for [Indian Language 2] *After pressed number* Automatic Voice : At end of the call, please participate on our survey & please give your feedback. It'll take only 2 mins. Press 1 to enter the Account Number Press 2 to enter the Phone Number Press 3 to enter [some other option] *After pressed number* Automatic Voice : You entered the number XXXXXXX, if this is right press 0 else press 1 *After pressed number* Automatic Voice : Your complaints & feedbacks are important to us so we're recording this conversation. Press 1 to know about your account details Press 2 to know about our other plans/offers Press 3 to some other option . . . . Press 9 to talk to customer care persons All I wanted the last option(9) X| It took around 5 mins to reach the customer care person.

      thatraja

      FREE Code Conversion VB6 ASP VB.NET C# ASP.NET C++ JAVA PHP DELPHI ColdFusion
      HTML Marquee & its alternatives

      Nobody remains a virgin, Life screws everyone :sigh:

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      • I Ian Shlasko

        "See, the first thing y'all wanna do, is take that there plug, 'n stick it 'n the hole 'round back..."

        Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
        Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)

        W Offline
        W Offline
        wizardzz
        wrote on last edited by
        #40

        Hahaha. I don't want to make fun of dialects, but I bought a computer from a company in Kentucky or Tennessee. The process wasn't too far off from sounding like that, but they were actually great.

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        • P Pete OHanlon

          My puppy died when I set fire to it. Will you be my friend?

          *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

          "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

          CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

          A Offline
          A Offline
          Albert Holguin
          wrote on last edited by
          #41

          On a roll there Pete... thinking you've probably had quite a bit of experience saying these things... ;P

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          • W wizardzz

            Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

            J Offline
            J Offline
            jesarg
            wrote on last edited by
            #42

            Hello. Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line and listen to a screechy, crackling, indecipherable recording of upbeat 70's music at ten times the volume of the voice of our representative. Our next available representative will answer your call once you have gone insane or buried your phone receiver in a deep grave and sprinkled holy water on its cemetary plot, whichever comes last.

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            • W wizardzz

              Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

              R Offline
              R Offline
              RJOberg
              wrote on last edited by
              #43

              Not a one liner, but a personal experience working customer service / tech support at a store that also had a copy shop in it. Customer : Can you help me with these self serve copiers? Me : Well, I could... but then they wouldn't be self serve would they?

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • W wizardzz

                Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                L Offline
                L Offline
                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #44

                "Hmmmm. Seems to be working fine for me"

                Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet.

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                • W wizardzz

                  Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                  L Offline
                  L Offline
                  Lost User
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #45

                  It seems you may have voided the warranty and you will have to purchase a new one.

                  Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet.

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                  • R Rage

                    * Insert more than famous classical music piece playing in loop *

                    ~RaGE();

                    I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus Do not feed the troll ! - Common proverb

                    D Offline
                    D Offline
                    djdanlib 0
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #46

                    or... I'm dreaming of a white Christmaaaaaas

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                    • W wizardzz

                      Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                      J Offline
                      J Offline
                      Johnny J
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #47

                      Heard often at our company: It's working fine on MY computer...

                      Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
                      -----
                      Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
                      -----
                      Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
                      -----
                      Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932

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