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  3. Chuck Norris Programming Jokes.

Chuck Norris Programming Jokes.

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  • J Jonathan C Dickinson

    Sorry to somewhat ruin it :) - you can put a folder inside itself with hard links (junction points in NTFS).

    He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes. He who does not ask a question remains a fool forever. [Chineese Proverb] Jonathan C Dickinson (C# Software Engineer)

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    lewax00
    wrote on last edited by
    #14

    I already said you can delete a link. The folder still has to exist somewhere else for a hard link. A folder can't exist only inside itself, because then it wouldn't be anywhere else.

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    • L lewax00

      I already said you can delete a link. The folder still has to exist somewhere else for a hard link. A folder can't exist only inside itself, because then it wouldn't be anywhere else.

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      J Offline
      Jonathan C Dickinson
      wrote on last edited by
      #15

      This is starting to sound like a certain cat and a box.

      He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes. He who does not ask a question remains a fool forever. [Chineese Proverb] Jonathan C Dickinson (C# Software Engineer)

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      • L Lost User

        1. When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it’s across the room. 2. All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds. 3. Chuck Norris doesn’t have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up. 4. Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself. 5. Chuck Norris can’t test for equality because he has no equal. 6. Chuck Norris doesn’t need garbage collection because he doesn’t call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick(). 7. Chuck Norris’s first program was kill -9. 8. Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble. 9. All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue. 10. MySpace actually isn’t your space, it’s Chuck’s (he just lets you use it). 11. Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions…and have them return. 12. Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move. 13. The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object. 14. Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft. 15. Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations…ever. 16. Chuck Norris doesn’t use web standards as the web will conform to him. 17. “It works on my machine” always holds true for Chuck Norris. 18. Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way. 19. Chuck Norris doesn’t do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts. 20. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin. 21. Chuck Norris’s beard can type 140 wpm. 22. Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert. 23. Chuck Norris doesn’t bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing. 24. Chuck Norris’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris. 25. When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message “Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?”. A student throwing paper airplanes in class was asked by the teacher during detention to write on the board the sentence, 'I will not throw paper airplanes in class.' 500 times. He then writes this

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        B Offline
        BrainiacV
        wrote on last edited by
        #16

        Even Chuck Norris fears this[^]

        Psychosis at 10 Film at 11 Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.

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        • L Lost User

          1. When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it’s across the room. 2. All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds. 3. Chuck Norris doesn’t have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up. 4. Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself. 5. Chuck Norris can’t test for equality because he has no equal. 6. Chuck Norris doesn’t need garbage collection because he doesn’t call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick(). 7. Chuck Norris’s first program was kill -9. 8. Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble. 9. All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue. 10. MySpace actually isn’t your space, it’s Chuck’s (he just lets you use it). 11. Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions…and have them return. 12. Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move. 13. The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object. 14. Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft. 15. Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations…ever. 16. Chuck Norris doesn’t use web standards as the web will conform to him. 17. “It works on my machine” always holds true for Chuck Norris. 18. Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way. 19. Chuck Norris doesn’t do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts. 20. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin. 21. Chuck Norris’s beard can type 140 wpm. 22. Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert. 23. Chuck Norris doesn’t bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing. 24. Chuck Norris’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris. 25. When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message “Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?”. A student throwing paper airplanes in class was asked by the teacher during detention to write on the board the sentence, 'I will not throw paper airplanes in class.' 500 times. He then writes this

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          M Offline
          Mark Johnston SSCGP
          wrote on last edited by
          #17

          Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

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          • L lewax00

            You can hide it, disable it, or delete a link to it, but you can't "delete" the recycling bin, Windows won't let you delete the underlying system folder (or if it does, it will just recreate it next time it needs it) that would imply you're putting that folder inside itself, which isn't directly possible. Unless you're Chuck Norris, of course.

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            J Offline
            JH64
            wrote on last edited by
            #18

            The easiest way to delete a System Protected File/Folder is to boot with a Linux live CD. Other way is to give to yourself the ownership of the folder you want to delete, but that may fail, because if a file is in use it may not let you delete it. The two protected folders I can think one person may want to delete, due to virus for example, are System Volume Information (you will lose all restore points, one SVI exists in root of each partition, even if not supervised), and $Recycle.Bin. Both folders will be recreated at next boot, but their content won't return (for good if you suspect virus). These advise (if I can name it that way) are for the common of humans. Linux Gurus and Chuck Norris don't need these cheap tricks :laugh: .

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            • L Lost User

              1. When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it’s across the room. 2. All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds. 3. Chuck Norris doesn’t have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up. 4. Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself. 5. Chuck Norris can’t test for equality because he has no equal. 6. Chuck Norris doesn’t need garbage collection because he doesn’t call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick(). 7. Chuck Norris’s first program was kill -9. 8. Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble. 9. All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue. 10. MySpace actually isn’t your space, it’s Chuck’s (he just lets you use it). 11. Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions…and have them return. 12. Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move. 13. The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object. 14. Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft. 15. Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations…ever. 16. Chuck Norris doesn’t use web standards as the web will conform to him. 17. “It works on my machine” always holds true for Chuck Norris. 18. Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way. 19. Chuck Norris doesn’t do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts. 20. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin. 21. Chuck Norris’s beard can type 140 wpm. 22. Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert. 23. Chuck Norris doesn’t bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing. 24. Chuck Norris’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris. 25. When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message “Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?”. A student throwing paper airplanes in class was asked by the teacher during detention to write on the board the sentence, 'I will not throw paper airplanes in class.' 500 times. He then writes this

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              N Offline
              nardev
              wrote on last edited by
              #19

              how bout this: Object extends Chuck Norris :)

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • L Lost User

                1. When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it’s across the room. 2. All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds. 3. Chuck Norris doesn’t have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up. 4. Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself. 5. Chuck Norris can’t test for equality because he has no equal. 6. Chuck Norris doesn’t need garbage collection because he doesn’t call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick(). 7. Chuck Norris’s first program was kill -9. 8. Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble. 9. All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue. 10. MySpace actually isn’t your space, it’s Chuck’s (he just lets you use it). 11. Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions…and have them return. 12. Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move. 13. The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object. 14. Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft. 15. Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations…ever. 16. Chuck Norris doesn’t use web standards as the web will conform to him. 17. “It works on my machine” always holds true for Chuck Norris. 18. Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way. 19. Chuck Norris doesn’t do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts. 20. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin. 21. Chuck Norris’s beard can type 140 wpm. 22. Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert. 23. Chuck Norris doesn’t bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing. 24. Chuck Norris’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris. 25. When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message “Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?”. A student throwing paper airplanes in class was asked by the teacher during detention to write on the board the sentence, 'I will not throw paper airplanes in class.' 500 times. He then writes this

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                T Offline
                tgrt
                wrote on last edited by
                #20

                When Chuck Norris throws an exception there is no chance, not even a first chance.

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                • P pgroover

                  Love this, unfortunately I clicked on '2' when navigating to '5' for voting and now can't change it. I wonder if Chuck will notice.., wait, he notices everything. I'd better hide.

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                  Lost User
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #21

                  pgroover wrote:

                  he notices everything. I'd better hide.

                  :laugh: Lol, I think he'll understand you didn't mean that. :)

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                  • B BrainiacV

                    Even Chuck Norris fears this[^]

                    Psychosis at 10 Film at 11 Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.

                    L Offline
                    L Offline
                    Lost User
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #22

                    Lol, that is oooooooo...... Bet Chuck Norris hasn't seen that.

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                    • M Mark Johnston SSCGP

                      Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

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                      L Offline
                      Lost User
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #23

                      Nice addition. :)

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                      • J Jonathan C Dickinson

                        This is starting to sound like a certain cat and a box.

                        He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes. He who does not ask a question remains a fool forever. [Chineese Proverb] Jonathan C Dickinson (C# Software Engineer)

                        K Offline
                        K Offline
                        KP Lee
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #24

                        Jonathan C Dickinson wrote:

                        starting to sound like a certain cat and a box.

                        May as well throw in Heiseinberg's (sp?) principle too. (I didn't think about "throw" being appropriate until after I wrote it.)

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                        • L Lost User

                          Nice addition. :)

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                          KP Lee
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #25

                          Yea, Chuck probably could divide by using addition.

                          1 Reply Last reply
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