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Bad one liner jokes...

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Soapbox
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  • N Nagy Vilmos

    You need to get out more...


    Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

    C Offline
    C Offline
    Chris Meech
    wrote on last edited by
    #7

    If you remove the final word "more", then I think you've nailed it. :)

    Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

      So down vote 'em! Oh, no - we can't! :laugh:

      If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tinned pork then just delete it. It's Spam.

      N Offline
      N Offline
      Nagy Vilmos
      wrote on last edited by
      #8

      My only recourse is to go to member profile and 'report as spammer' then 'report as abuse'. I need those reps man, just one or two to see me through the day. It's not like I'm an addict, I just need the pick-me-up.


      Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

      OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • N Nagy Vilmos

        My only recourse is to go to member profile and 'report as spammer' then 'report as abuse'. I need those reps man, just one or two to see me through the day. It's not like I'm an addict, I just need the pick-me-up.


        Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

        OriginalGriffO Offline
        OriginalGriffO Offline
        OriginalGriff
        wrote on last edited by
        #9

        Oh dear. This could get nasty...

        If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tinned pork then just delete it. It's Spam.

        "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
        "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

        N 1 Reply Last reply
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        • E egenis

          You remind me of my pinky toe because sooner or later I know I'll bang you on a table. I've got this life changing appointment at the bank this afternoon. I'm so nervous I can hardly get the stocking over my head. Me and my recliner go way back. I can hear music coming out of the printer. I think the paper's jammin' again. What time do you go to a dentist? Tooth hurty Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher? He couldn't control his pupils Have you heard of the new movie called "Constipation"? It hasn't come out yet What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologise I've just started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven't done a gig yet. Diarrhea is hereditory; it runs in your jeans. Wind turbines. I'm a huge fan. Ever had sex while camping? It's ****ing intents. A farmer had a wooden tractor, with wooden wheels and a wooden engine. And guess what... IT WOODEN GO! There's a new type of broom out. It's sweeping the nation What do you call a cow with no legs? Grounded beef What do you call cheese that isn't yours? NACHO CHEESE I'd hate to be a midget chef. The steaks are too high. I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now. Just got back from a very emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers. I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers. People think I'm weird because I swallowed an abacus. It's what's inside that counts. Past, Present and Future walked into a bar. It was tense. I see you have graph paper, you must be plotting something. Newton's third law of emotion: for every male action, there is a female overreaction! I heard a guy complaining about how expensive his wedding is. He's going to be pissed when he finds out how much the divorce is going to cost. I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. ****! I swear medicine companies have no idea what fruit tastes like. My girlfriend left me because of my addiction to steroids. So I threw her car into a tree.

          www.stealthadventures.co.za

          H Offline
          H Offline
          hoernchenmeister
          wrote on last edited by
          #10

          ...a dyslexic walks into a bra...

          J 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

            Oh dear. This could get nasty...

            If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tinned pork then just delete it. It's Spam.

            N Offline
            N Offline
            Nagy Vilmos
            wrote on last edited by
            #11

            What could possibly go wrong? We're the only ones who know about it and I've already set up my suck-poppits to obliterate you...


            Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

            L 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • H hoernchenmeister

              ...a dyslexic walks into a bra...

              J Offline
              J Offline
              Johnny J
              wrote on last edited by
              #12

              hoernchenmeister wrote:

              a dyslexic

              Do you mean "a dyslectic"???

              Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
              -----
              Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
              -----
              Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
              -----
              Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932

              H 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • E egenis

                You remind me of my pinky toe because sooner or later I know I'll bang you on a table. I've got this life changing appointment at the bank this afternoon. I'm so nervous I can hardly get the stocking over my head. Me and my recliner go way back. I can hear music coming out of the printer. I think the paper's jammin' again. What time do you go to a dentist? Tooth hurty Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher? He couldn't control his pupils Have you heard of the new movie called "Constipation"? It hasn't come out yet What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologise I've just started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven't done a gig yet. Diarrhea is hereditory; it runs in your jeans. Wind turbines. I'm a huge fan. Ever had sex while camping? It's ****ing intents. A farmer had a wooden tractor, with wooden wheels and a wooden engine. And guess what... IT WOODEN GO! There's a new type of broom out. It's sweeping the nation What do you call a cow with no legs? Grounded beef What do you call cheese that isn't yours? NACHO CHEESE I'd hate to be a midget chef. The steaks are too high. I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now. Just got back from a very emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers. I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers. People think I'm weird because I swallowed an abacus. It's what's inside that counts. Past, Present and Future walked into a bar. It was tense. I see you have graph paper, you must be plotting something. Newton's third law of emotion: for every male action, there is a female overreaction! I heard a guy complaining about how expensive his wedding is. He's going to be pissed when he finds out how much the divorce is going to cost. I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. ****! I swear medicine companies have no idea what fruit tastes like. My girlfriend left me because of my addiction to steroids. So I threw her car into a tree.

                www.stealthadventures.co.za

                J Offline
                J Offline
                Johnny J
                wrote on last edited by
                #13

                A lot of these were new to me, and some of them even funny! :thumbsup:

                Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
                -----
                Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
                -----
                Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
                -----
                Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • J Johnny J

                  hoernchenmeister wrote:

                  a dyslexic

                  Do you mean "a dyslectic"???

                  Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
                  -----
                  Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
                  -----
                  Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
                  -----
                  Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932

                  H Offline
                  H Offline
                  hoernchenmeister
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #14

                  No, dyslexic was right... I double checked the dictionary and it stated that both could be used though... Is dyslectic more common?

                  C 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • H hoernchenmeister

                    No, dyslexic was right... I double checked the dictionary and it stated that both could be used though... Is dyslectic more common?

                    C Offline
                    C Offline
                    Chris Meech
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #15

                    as common as bra. :)

                    Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                      So down vote 'em! Oh, no - we can't! :laugh:

                      If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tinned pork then just delete it. It's Spam.

                      E Offline
                      E Offline
                      egenis
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #16

                      :laugh:

                      www.stealthadventures.co.za

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • N Nagy Vilmos

                        What could possibly go wrong? We're the only ones who know about it and I've already set up my suck-poppits to obliterate you...


                        Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

                        L Offline
                        L Offline
                        Lost User
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #17

                        Shut up you piece of shit.

                        1 Reply Last reply
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