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  3. What is the most inappropriate thing you've ever said?

What is the most inappropriate thing you've ever said?

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  • L Lost User

    What is the most inappropriate thing you've ever said? True stories only. For me, it was probably when a fellow at work was telling me about the passing of his uncle. As it turns out, over that weekend his uncle had died on the golf course. I asked: "What hole was he on?" I got a blank stare in return. Second place would probably be at a family reunion when my 6 year old niece entered the room with a banana in her pocket. Naturally, I had to ask: "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you glad to see me?" To this day my brother in law will not let his kids stay at our house. In my defense, how often does someone actually have a banana in their pocket? I feel fate really was unfair - I had to ask the question. There was no resisting it.

    S Offline
    S Offline
    Single Step Debugger
    wrote on last edited by
    #16

    Few years ago me and two co-workers were traveling in a car on a quite suburbia road, me in the front passenger seat. The guy seating behind me was telling us in a great details for his new life insurance on behalf of his girlfriend. Numbers, tricks, suicide clause – everything. He looked so obsessed by the matter so in one moment I leaned back and gently asked: “Do you want me to kill you?” Silence in the car…

    There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

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    • L Lost User

      What is the most inappropriate thing you've ever said? True stories only. For me, it was probably when a fellow at work was telling me about the passing of his uncle. As it turns out, over that weekend his uncle had died on the golf course. I asked: "What hole was he on?" I got a blank stare in return. Second place would probably be at a family reunion when my 6 year old niece entered the room with a banana in her pocket. Naturally, I had to ask: "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you glad to see me?" To this day my brother in law will not let his kids stay at our house. In my defense, how often does someone actually have a banana in their pocket? I feel fate really was unfair - I had to ask the question. There was no resisting it.

      K Offline
      K Offline
      kmg365
      wrote on last edited by
      #17

      Does it matter anymore? "You can say it's chilly outside, and this spring is cooler than most", and your sure to offend some whackadoodle.

      "Sanity is not statistical." - Eric Blair, 1984, Chapter 9

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      • K kmg365

        Does it matter anymore? "You can say it's chilly outside, and this spring is cooler than most", and your sure to offend some whackadoodle.

        "Sanity is not statistical." - Eric Blair, 1984, Chapter 9

        L Offline
        L Offline
        Lost User
        wrote on last edited by
        #18

        kmg365 wrote:

        ..it's chilly outside, and this spring is cooler than most

        So you're one of those nuts that denies global warming? YOU'LL KILL ALL OF US - I HOPE YOU DIE IN A FIRE! :rolleyes: Yeah, I agree with you, it's getting bad out there.

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        • S Single Step Debugger

          Few years ago me and two co-workers were traveling in a car on a quite suburbia road, me in the front passenger seat. The guy seating behind me was telling us in a great details for his new life insurance on behalf of his girlfriend. Numbers, tricks, suicide clause – everything. He looked so obsessed by the matter so in one moment I leaned back and gently asked: “Do you want me to kill you?” Silence in the car…

          There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

          B Offline
          B Offline
          Big Daddy Farang
          wrote on last edited by
          #19

          Seems appropriate to me.

          BDF I often make very large prints from unexposed film, and every one of them turns out to be a picture of myself as I once dreamed I would be. -- BillWoodruff

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          • L Lost User

            She had no idea. The father shot me a dirty look though.

            B Offline
            B Offline
            Big Daddy Farang
            wrote on last edited by
            #20

            MehGerbil wrote:

            She had no idea.

            The defense rests. I don't see why people here are so bent out of shape about this. It went over the girl's head as I supposed it would.

            BDF I often make very large prints from unexposed film, and every one of them turns out to be a picture of myself as I once dreamed I would be. -- BillWoodruff

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            • B Big Daddy Farang

              Seems appropriate to me.

              BDF I often make very large prints from unexposed film, and every one of them turns out to be a picture of myself as I once dreamed I would be. -- BillWoodruff

              S Offline
              S Offline
              Single Step Debugger
              wrote on last edited by
              #21

              Sadly, but not to my co-workers. From this moment I was never invited to barbecue with them. :-D

              There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

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              • S Single Step Debugger

                Sadly, but not to my co-workers. From this moment I was never invited to barbecue with them. :-D

                There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

                L Offline
                L Offline
                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #22

                Deyan Georgiev wrote:

                Sadly, but not to my co-workers. From this moment I was never invited to barbecue with them. :-D

                It is nice the story has a happy ending. How much fun could those folks be at a BBQ?

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                • L Lost User

                  Deyan Georgiev wrote:

                  Sadly, but not to my co-workers. From this moment I was never invited to barbecue with them. :-D

                  It is nice the story has a happy ending. How much fun could those folks be at a BBQ?

                  S Offline
                  S Offline
                  Single Step Debugger
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #23

                  Somewhere in between pooping owl and drying paint.

                  There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

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                  • L Lost User

                    What is the most inappropriate thing you've ever said? True stories only. For me, it was probably when a fellow at work was telling me about the passing of his uncle. As it turns out, over that weekend his uncle had died on the golf course. I asked: "What hole was he on?" I got a blank stare in return. Second place would probably be at a family reunion when my 6 year old niece entered the room with a banana in her pocket. Naturally, I had to ask: "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you glad to see me?" To this day my brother in law will not let his kids stay at our house. In my defense, how often does someone actually have a banana in their pocket? I feel fate really was unfair - I had to ask the question. There was no resisting it.

                    OriginalGriffO Offline
                    OriginalGriffO Offline
                    OriginalGriff
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #24

                    "I do" :sigh:

                    The universe is composed of electrons, neutrons, protons and......morons. (ThePhantomUpvoter)

                    "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                    "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

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                    • L Lost User

                      What is the most inappropriate thing you've ever said? True stories only. For me, it was probably when a fellow at work was telling me about the passing of his uncle. As it turns out, over that weekend his uncle had died on the golf course. I asked: "What hole was he on?" I got a blank stare in return. Second place would probably be at a family reunion when my 6 year old niece entered the room with a banana in her pocket. Naturally, I had to ask: "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you glad to see me?" To this day my brother in law will not let his kids stay at our house. In my defense, how often does someone actually have a banana in their pocket? I feel fate really was unfair - I had to ask the question. There was no resisting it.

                      T Offline
                      T Offline
                      thrakazog
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #25

                      MehGerbil wrote:

                      To this day my brother in law will not let his kids stay at our house.

                      No babysitting. Count it as a win. :-D

                      Play my game Gravity: Android[^], Windows Phone 7[^]

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                      • L Lost User

                        mark merrens wrote:

                        You need professional help

                        What? You mean like a hooker?

                        R Offline
                        R Offline
                        R Giskard Reventlov
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #26

                        Yes, like this[^].

                        "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me me, in pictures

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                        • L Lost User

                          What is the most inappropriate thing you've ever said? True stories only. For me, it was probably when a fellow at work was telling me about the passing of his uncle. As it turns out, over that weekend his uncle had died on the golf course. I asked: "What hole was he on?" I got a blank stare in return. Second place would probably be at a family reunion when my 6 year old niece entered the room with a banana in her pocket. Naturally, I had to ask: "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you glad to see me?" To this day my brother in law will not let his kids stay at our house. In my defense, how often does someone actually have a banana in their pocket? I feel fate really was unfair - I had to ask the question. There was no resisting it.

                          M Offline
                          M Offline
                          Marco Bertschi
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #27

                          Well, I stayed in Fort Lauderdale near Pompano Beach for 10 days at a local Hotel (about 3 years ago). Florida temparatures are a pain in the ass, even in spring. Long story short, every cola needed ice. The ice machine on the floor was broken, so I went down to the front service desk and asked for "some ice for ma beavers". Long story short, I originally intended to get the ice for the beverages - And the front desk Guy laughed his ass off.

                          cheers Marco Bertschi


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                          You have absolutely no idea how glad I am that I have no idea at all. - OriginalGriff I'm at peace with the world and myself. - Me

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                          • L Lost User

                            What is the most inappropriate thing you've ever said? True stories only. For me, it was probably when a fellow at work was telling me about the passing of his uncle. As it turns out, over that weekend his uncle had died on the golf course. I asked: "What hole was he on?" I got a blank stare in return. Second place would probably be at a family reunion when my 6 year old niece entered the room with a banana in her pocket. Naturally, I had to ask: "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you glad to see me?" To this day my brother in law will not let his kids stay at our house. In my defense, how often does someone actually have a banana in their pocket? I feel fate really was unfair - I had to ask the question. There was no resisting it.

                            L Offline
                            L Offline
                            Lost User
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #28

                            Managing Director's P.A. was a very buxom young lady (and very nice) We were entertaining some clients, and she was tasked with buying some glassware for the boardroom to server drinks. (existing glasses were mismatched and old). She bought some very fine glasses, and matching water jugs, which she filled with cold swater , ice and slices of lemon. As she walked into the boardroom carrying the tray, I looked up and said "Lovely pair of jugs, Linda" :crickets: :tumbleweed:

                            MVVM# - See how I did MVVM my way ___________________________________________ Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011 .\\axxx (That's an 'M')

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                            • R R Giskard Reventlov

                              MehGerbil wrote:

                              To this day my brother in law will not let his kids stay at our house.

                              And you're surprised?

                              MehGerbil wrote:

                              In my defense, how often does someone actually have a banana in their pocket?

                              Does it matter? She was 6!!!

                              MehGerbil wrote:

                              I feel fate really was unfair - I had to ask the question.
                              There was no resisting it.

                              You need professional help - I think your BIL under-reacted.

                              "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me me, in pictures

                              _ Offline
                              _ Offline
                              _Damian S_
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #29

                              mark merrens wrote:

                              You need professional help - I think your BIL under-reacted.

                              And this is precisely what's wrong with society these days...

                              Quad skating his way through the world since the early 80's... Booger Mobile - My bright green 1964 Ford Falcon - check out the blog here!! | If you feel generous - make a donation to Camp Quality!!

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                              • L Lost User

                                What is the most inappropriate thing you've ever said? True stories only. For me, it was probably when a fellow at work was telling me about the passing of his uncle. As it turns out, over that weekend his uncle had died on the golf course. I asked: "What hole was he on?" I got a blank stare in return. Second place would probably be at a family reunion when my 6 year old niece entered the room with a banana in her pocket. Naturally, I had to ask: "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you glad to see me?" To this day my brother in law will not let his kids stay at our house. In my defense, how often does someone actually have a banana in their pocket? I feel fate really was unfair - I had to ask the question. There was no resisting it.

                                M Offline
                                M Offline
                                Member 9475889
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #30

                                Went into a busy UK corner store one morning looking to buy a lottery ticket or "lucky dip" as it's called when the numbers are autopicked. Bloke behind counter: "What can I get you, pal?". Me: "Five lucky dicks, please". :~

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                                • L Lost User

                                  What is the most inappropriate thing you've ever said? True stories only. For me, it was probably when a fellow at work was telling me about the passing of his uncle. As it turns out, over that weekend his uncle had died on the golf course. I asked: "What hole was he on?" I got a blank stare in return. Second place would probably be at a family reunion when my 6 year old niece entered the room with a banana in her pocket. Naturally, I had to ask: "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you glad to see me?" To this day my brother in law will not let his kids stay at our house. In my defense, how often does someone actually have a banana in their pocket? I feel fate really was unfair - I had to ask the question. There was no resisting it.

                                  B Offline
                                  B Offline
                                  BobJanova
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #31

                                  I'm not sure if you need an anatomy lesson, but the 'banana in the pocket' line doesn't really work on a girl anyway ...

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                                  • B Big Daddy Farang

                                    MehGerbil wrote:

                                    She had no idea.

                                    The defense rests. I don't see why people here are so bent out of shape about this. It went over the girl's head as I supposed it would.

                                    BDF I often make very large prints from unexposed film, and every one of them turns out to be a picture of myself as I once dreamed I would be. -- BillWoodruff

                                    J Offline
                                    J Offline
                                    jRaskell1
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #32

                                    Kids are often like recorders with replay buttons that you have no control over. They don't need to understand what they've recorded and replay. My BIL and I, along with a couple of our friends, have gotten his 8 year old son into the habit of saying, "That's what she said." It wasn't entirely intentional, it's just something we say to each other often. The vast majority of the time he doesn't say it at... let's say an appropriately inappropriate time, but every once in a while he nails it, and we find it hysterical. He has no idea why it's so funny, but he likes the attention nonetheless. I'm just waiting for the day he gets in trouble at school. My sister is, needless to say, rather annoyed with all of us.

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                                    • L Lost User

                                      What is the most inappropriate thing you've ever said? True stories only. For me, it was probably when a fellow at work was telling me about the passing of his uncle. As it turns out, over that weekend his uncle had died on the golf course. I asked: "What hole was he on?" I got a blank stare in return. Second place would probably be at a family reunion when my 6 year old niece entered the room with a banana in her pocket. Naturally, I had to ask: "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you glad to see me?" To this day my brother in law will not let his kids stay at our house. In my defense, how often does someone actually have a banana in their pocket? I feel fate really was unfair - I had to ask the question. There was no resisting it.

                                      B Offline
                                      B Offline
                                      boarderstu
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #33

                                      I asked a guy I used to work, who has alopecia, if he lazered his head/eyebrows - not realising why they weren't there.. a blank stare back - but due to the lack of eyebrows - I could quite judge his reaction ;) (Just so I don't look a complete James Blunt, his baldness was the topic of conversation!)

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                                      • L Lost User

                                        What is the most inappropriate thing you've ever said? True stories only. For me, it was probably when a fellow at work was telling me about the passing of his uncle. As it turns out, over that weekend his uncle had died on the golf course. I asked: "What hole was he on?" I got a blank stare in return. Second place would probably be at a family reunion when my 6 year old niece entered the room with a banana in her pocket. Naturally, I had to ask: "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you glad to see me?" To this day my brother in law will not let his kids stay at our house. In my defense, how often does someone actually have a banana in their pocket? I feel fate really was unfair - I had to ask the question. There was no resisting it.

                                        H Offline
                                        H Offline
                                        Herbie Mountjoy
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #34

                                        When my wife said she was going to give someone a piece of her mind, I told her it wouldn't take long.

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                                        • H Herbie Mountjoy

                                          When my wife said she was going to give someone a piece of her mind, I told her it wouldn't take long.

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                                          J Offline
                                          jeron1
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #35

                                          Hope your couch was comfy. :)

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