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  3. My Two-Cents on: How to handle (yourself around) the kids

My Two-Cents on: How to handle (yourself around) the kids

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  • J Joezer BH

    Here's some of the conclusions I picked up in the last 6 years, If you are in the beginning of the road in terms of kids, you'll be grateful. If your kids are over 10, I don't think I (perhaps anyone) can help you anymore... 1. Think before you make bombastic statements. 2. Coordinate with the Mrs (remember that being a modern mop is not not a good idea, you have compliment her, but not to succumb) 3. Stand your ground firm on statements you've already made (or they'll despise your frivolity). 4. Always stand up to the expectation you have from your kids, especially when it comes to virtues. 5. NEVER give in to whining and\or crying when you think it wrong. 6. NEVER be mad when you limit your kid, the key to education is the compassion you show even when you don't give in to crying. 7. Learn always to give the warm feeling, and hugs after you've made your point. The kid needs to understand that you are not mad at him/her but rather on the improper behavior. * NOTE: If you can't handle it and it's too much, just stick to complimenting your wife, she'll probably be able to transform it to enough energy to do the rest. Good luck, Edo

    Never underestimate the difference you can make in the lives of others.

    Mike HankeyM Offline
    Mike HankeyM Offline
    Mike Hankey
    wrote on last edited by
    #4

    Kids don't come with an instruction manual and every one is different. Be true to them and to yourself. < 11 You're the mentor. >11 You're the counselor.

    VS2010/Atmel Studio 6.1 ToDo Manager Extension Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the restraints.

    J 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

      Kids don't come with an instruction manual and every one is different. Be true to them and to yourself. < 11 You're the mentor. >11 You're the counselor.

      VS2010/Atmel Studio 6.1 ToDo Manager Extension Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the restraints.

      J Offline
      J Offline
      Johnny J
      wrote on last edited by
      #5

      Mike Hankey wrote:

      < 11 You're the mentor. >11 You're the counselor.

      and = 11??? Out of range exception?

      Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
      -----
      Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
      -----
      Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
      -----
      Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932

      S Mike HankeyM 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • J Joezer BH

        Here's some of the conclusions I picked up in the last 6 years, If you are in the beginning of the road in terms of kids, you'll be grateful. If your kids are over 10, I don't think I (perhaps anyone) can help you anymore... 1. Think before you make bombastic statements. 2. Coordinate with the Mrs (remember that being a modern mop is not not a good idea, you have compliment her, but not to succumb) 3. Stand your ground firm on statements you've already made (or they'll despise your frivolity). 4. Always stand up to the expectation you have from your kids, especially when it comes to virtues. 5. NEVER give in to whining and\or crying when you think it wrong. 6. NEVER be mad when you limit your kid, the key to education is the compassion you show even when you don't give in to crying. 7. Learn always to give the warm feeling, and hugs after you've made your point. The kid needs to understand that you are not mad at him/her but rather on the improper behavior. * NOTE: If you can't handle it and it's too much, just stick to complimenting your wife, she'll probably be able to transform it to enough energy to do the rest. Good luck, Edo

        Never underestimate the difference you can make in the lives of others.

        K Offline
        K Offline
        Keith Barrow
        wrote on last edited by
        #6

        Edo Tzumer wrote:

        remember that being a modern mop is not not a good idea,

        Is that like a Vileda or something:~? Otherwise I co-ordinate quite well with the missus, by which I mean I get regular instructions.

        “Education is not the piling on of learning, information, data, facts, skills, or abilities - that's training or instruction - but is rather making visible what is hidden as a seed”
        “One of the greatest problems of our time is that many are schooled but few are educated”

        Sir Thomas More (1478 – 1535)

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • J Johnny J

          Mike Hankey wrote:

          < 11 You're the mentor. >11 You're the counselor.

          and = 11??? Out of range exception?

          Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
          -----
          Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
          -----
          Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
          -----
          Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932

          S Offline
          S Offline
          Simon_Whale
          wrote on last edited by
          #7

          You've somehow started to live life like the film Groundhog day! :laugh:

          Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence EAT BACON

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • J Joezer BH

            Here's some of the conclusions I picked up in the last 6 years, If you are in the beginning of the road in terms of kids, you'll be grateful. If your kids are over 10, I don't think I (perhaps anyone) can help you anymore... 1. Think before you make bombastic statements. 2. Coordinate with the Mrs (remember that being a modern mop is not not a good idea, you have compliment her, but not to succumb) 3. Stand your ground firm on statements you've already made (or they'll despise your frivolity). 4. Always stand up to the expectation you have from your kids, especially when it comes to virtues. 5. NEVER give in to whining and\or crying when you think it wrong. 6. NEVER be mad when you limit your kid, the key to education is the compassion you show even when you don't give in to crying. 7. Learn always to give the warm feeling, and hugs after you've made your point. The kid needs to understand that you are not mad at him/her but rather on the improper behavior. * NOTE: If you can't handle it and it's too much, just stick to complimenting your wife, she'll probably be able to transform it to enough energy to do the rest. Good luck, Edo

            Never underestimate the difference you can make in the lives of others.

            A Offline
            A Offline
            Argonia
            wrote on last edited by
            #8

            I think the best way to handle yourself around the kids is to have none. Its always better that way. Your money is all yours to do whatever you like. Your time is yours alone and there are no sleepless nights wondering where your child is and with whom

            J 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • J Joezer BH

              Here's some of the conclusions I picked up in the last 6 years, If you are in the beginning of the road in terms of kids, you'll be grateful. If your kids are over 10, I don't think I (perhaps anyone) can help you anymore... 1. Think before you make bombastic statements. 2. Coordinate with the Mrs (remember that being a modern mop is not not a good idea, you have compliment her, but not to succumb) 3. Stand your ground firm on statements you've already made (or they'll despise your frivolity). 4. Always stand up to the expectation you have from your kids, especially when it comes to virtues. 5. NEVER give in to whining and\or crying when you think it wrong. 6. NEVER be mad when you limit your kid, the key to education is the compassion you show even when you don't give in to crying. 7. Learn always to give the warm feeling, and hugs after you've made your point. The kid needs to understand that you are not mad at him/her but rather on the improper behavior. * NOTE: If you can't handle it and it's too much, just stick to complimenting your wife, she'll probably be able to transform it to enough energy to do the rest. Good luck, Edo

              Never underestimate the difference you can make in the lives of others.

              OriginalGriffO Offline
              OriginalGriffO Offline
              OriginalGriff
              wrote on last edited by
              #9

              Can I add "If you declare a punishment, carry it out in full"? Because if you don't they know that it doesn't matter and it reinforces negative behavior instead of making it less attractive.

              The universe is composed of electrons, neutrons, protons and......morons. (ThePhantomUpvoter)

              "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
              "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

              J C 2 Replies Last reply
              0
              • A Argonia

                I think the best way to handle yourself around the kids is to have none. Its always better that way. Your money is all yours to do whatever you like. Your time is yours alone and there are no sleepless nights wondering where your child is and with whom

                J Offline
                J Offline
                Joezer BH
                wrote on last edited by
                #10

                You have got to get yourself some kids to know why it's worth everything!

                Never underestimate the difference you can make in the lives of others.

                M 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                  Can I add "If you declare a punishment, carry it out in full"? Because if you don't they know that it doesn't matter and it reinforces negative behavior instead of making it less attractive.

                  The universe is composed of electrons, neutrons, protons and......morons. (ThePhantomUpvoter)

                  J Offline
                  J Offline
                  Joezer BH
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #11

                  Aye, you may indeed.

                  Never underestimate the difference you can make in the lives of others.

                  OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • J Joezer BH

                    Here's some of the conclusions I picked up in the last 6 years, If you are in the beginning of the road in terms of kids, you'll be grateful. If your kids are over 10, I don't think I (perhaps anyone) can help you anymore... 1. Think before you make bombastic statements. 2. Coordinate with the Mrs (remember that being a modern mop is not not a good idea, you have compliment her, but not to succumb) 3. Stand your ground firm on statements you've already made (or they'll despise your frivolity). 4. Always stand up to the expectation you have from your kids, especially when it comes to virtues. 5. NEVER give in to whining and\or crying when you think it wrong. 6. NEVER be mad when you limit your kid, the key to education is the compassion you show even when you don't give in to crying. 7. Learn always to give the warm feeling, and hugs after you've made your point. The kid needs to understand that you are not mad at him/her but rather on the improper behavior. * NOTE: If you can't handle it and it's too much, just stick to complimenting your wife, she'll probably be able to transform it to enough energy to do the rest. Good luck, Edo

                    Never underestimate the difference you can make in the lives of others.

                    M Offline
                    M Offline
                    Marc Clifton
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #12

                    Edo Tzumer wrote:

                    If your kids are over 10, I don't think I (perhaps anyone) can help you anymore...

                    #8: It's never too late. Marc

                    Testers Wanted!
                    Latest Article: User Authentication on Ruby on Rails - the definitive how to
                    My Blog

                    A N 2 Replies Last reply
                    0
                    • J Joezer BH

                      Aye, you may indeed.

                      Never underestimate the difference you can make in the lives of others.

                      OriginalGriffO Offline
                      OriginalGriffO Offline
                      OriginalGriff
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #13

                      I don't have kids, but I've seen it with friends. One couple were terrible: "No sweets for a week!" was the common punishment, which was forgotten the next day...and they always wondered why the kids never stopped being naughty! :sigh:

                      The universe is composed of electrons, neutrons, protons and......morons. (ThePhantomUpvoter)

                      "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                      "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • M Marc Clifton

                        Edo Tzumer wrote:

                        If your kids are over 10, I don't think I (perhaps anyone) can help you anymore...

                        #8: It's never too late. Marc

                        Testers Wanted!
                        Latest Article: User Authentication on Ruby on Rails - the definitive how to
                        My Blog

                        A Offline
                        A Offline
                        Argonia
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #14

                        When you f***ed up your relassionship with your kid(s) (or you don't have one) at her/his age of 20 - 25 its too late.

                        M 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • M Marc Clifton

                          Edo Tzumer wrote:

                          If your kids are over 10, I don't think I (perhaps anyone) can help you anymore...

                          #8: It's never too late. Marc

                          Testers Wanted!
                          Latest Article: User Authentication on Ruby on Rails - the definitive how to
                          My Blog

                          N Offline
                          N Offline
                          Nagy Vilmos
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #15

                          100% with you. Eldest is just 11 and only now is she becoming a tolerable human being. She still has an awful temper, but at least it is now mostly controlled.

                          Reality is an illusion caused by a lack of alcohol

                          P 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • J Joezer BH

                            I beg to differ. E.g. - If you give in to whining you had better pad your wallet (and savings) to when they reach adolescence ... :~

                            Never underestimate the difference you can make in the lives of others.

                            P Offline
                            P Offline
                            Pete OHanlon
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #16

                            See, this can be dealt with by my rule: "I'm not going to give you money because you're an ungrateful little wretch"

                            I was brought up to respect my elders. I don't respect many people nowadays.
                            CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

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                            0
                            • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                              Can I add "If you declare a punishment, carry it out in full"? Because if you don't they know that it doesn't matter and it reinforces negative behavior instead of making it less attractive.

                              The universe is composed of electrons, neutrons, protons and......morons. (ThePhantomUpvoter)

                              C Offline
                              C Offline
                              Colin Mullikin
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #17

                              My dad hates parents that don't follow that rule. A woman we know once said to her 6 year old son, "If you don't stop that right now, I'm going to break your little arm." He stopped for about 3 seconds just long enough to listen to her, then continued doing what he was doing. My dad asked her if she truly was going to break his arm, to which she replied, "Well, no." He told her that she shouldn't threaten punishments that she has no intention of executing, because her son knows that he isn't actually going to get punished. Growing up, I knew that if my dad ever threatened any sort of punishment on me for something, and I still did that something, I was going to be punished to the full extent of what he said. I'm quite glad that I was raised that way, because it instills in you a sense of what repercussions your actions might have. You still have a choice, but you have to weigh all possible outcomes of that choice.

                              The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin

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                              • N Nagy Vilmos

                                100% with you. Eldest is just 11 and only now is she becoming a tolerable human being. She still has an awful temper, but at least it is now mostly controlled.

                                Reality is an illusion caused by a lack of alcohol

                                P Offline
                                P Offline
                                Pete OHanlon
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #18

                                How did today go for her? Is she happy to have the first SATS out of the way?

                                I was brought up to respect my elders. I don't respect many people nowadays.
                                CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                N 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • J Johnny J

                                  Mike Hankey wrote:

                                  < 11 You're the mentor. >11 You're the counselor.

                                  and = 11??? Out of range exception?

                                  Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
                                  -----
                                  Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
                                  -----
                                  Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
                                  -----
                                  Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932

                                  Mike HankeyM Offline
                                  Mike HankeyM Offline
                                  Mike Hankey
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #19

                                  Johnny J. wrote:

                                  and = 11???
                                   
                                  Out of range exception?

                                  Reloading..you're bound to hit em if you keep at it. :)

                                  VS2010/Atmel Studio 6.1 ToDo Manager Extension Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the restraints.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • J Joezer BH

                                    You have got to get yourself some kids to know why it's worth everything!

                                    Never underestimate the difference you can make in the lives of others.

                                    M Offline
                                    M Offline
                                    Moykn
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #20

                                    :thumbsup: No way i could live anymore without my kids.

                                    Sorry, my english is bad! Everything is easy for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. (Fran Porretto)

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • A Argonia

                                      When you f***ed up your relassionship with your kid(s) (or you don't have one) at her/his age of 20 - 25 its too late.

                                      M Offline
                                      M Offline
                                      Marc Clifton
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #21

                                      Argonia wrote:

                                      When you f***ed up your relassionship with your kid(s) (or you don't have one) at her/his age of 20 - 25 its too late.

                                      Well, reading books like Non-Violent Communication and Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and having both participated and run NVC workshops for adults and youth, I can definitely tell you, from first-hand experience, that no matter how fubar'd or non-existent you think your relationship with a kid is, it can be improved. And that even goes for young women that want to reconnect with their fathers who "abused" them (trying to keep it KSS here) when they were younger. So I know it IS possible - it may not happen for everyone, but it does happen for people that I personally know. Marc

                                      Testers Wanted!
                                      Latest Article: User Authentication on Ruby on Rails - the definitive how to
                                      My Blog

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • P Pete OHanlon

                                        There's only one rule. Never lie to your kids. Remember - rules are made to be broken.

                                        I was brought up to respect my elders. I don't respect many people nowadays.
                                        CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                        L Offline
                                        L Offline
                                        Lost User
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #22

                                        Erm, so the rule is actually "sometimes lie to your kids"? I do, however, concur.

                                        MVVM# - See how I did MVVM my way ___________________________________________ Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011 .\\axxx (That's an 'M')

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • P Pete OHanlon

                                          How did today go for her? Is she happy to have the first SATS out of the way?

                                          I was brought up to respect my elders. I don't respect many people nowadays.
                                          CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                          N Offline
                                          N Offline
                                          Nagy Vilmos
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #23

                                          Went well yesterday. All questions answered and nothing on the paper bothered her - a good sign. If she can't ace SPAG today I will be shocked. When it comes to being a grammar Nazi, she is the Canine's Testicles. [pressed enter too quick] How did Catherine get on? Well, I hope.

                                          Reality is an illusion caused by a lack of alcohol

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