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  3. Gaah - Can't I just do the stinking job?

Gaah - Can't I just do the stinking job?

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  • S Sharon Freas

    Rant on - I've been in the software profession for a very, very long time now. I started as a real-time concurrent programmer and these days wear a web developer's hat. I am female. I have been bombarded lately by articles, emails, etc. telling me how to succeed in this industry as a female. It's simple (and hard) - figure out what the business needs, keep on top of the technology and write software that meets those needs. I don't need to know how to dress for success as a woman (code project!), join any woman only IT groups, listen to a newly-minted MVP who's been in development for a year (drove me batty to see that one), etc. It reminds me of when I went to buy a pickup truck and the sales guy tried to show me the makeup mirror. Geez! Just let me do my friggin job without telling me how it is impossible for me to "succeed" because of my gender. The only thing that is a lot harder in this profession as a woman is balancing work with kids because let's face it as enlightened as we all like to think we are - if you both have equally challenging jobs somehow the wife still stays home with the sick kids usually and deals with the school. I think this is where a lot of the women who start in IT go. It's really tough to keep that balance and be on the hot projects too. I don't need a special hand up to succeed. I am perfectly capable of learning what I need to know to do the job like anyone else. Enough already! - rant off

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    Andrew Rissing
    wrote on last edited by
    #3

    Member 8824288 wrote:

    The only thing that is a lot harder in this profession as a woman is balancing work with kids because let's face it as enlightened as we all like to think we are - if you both have equally challenging jobs somehow the wife still stays home with the sick kids usually and deals with the school.

    Honestly, this sounds more to do with your relationship with your spouse than something workplace/industry related. If you family has decided to have both parents working, it should be understood that family activities would have to be split as well. Or at least, the responsibilities between you two understood.

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    • A Andrew Rissing

      Member 8824288 wrote:

      The only thing that is a lot harder in this profession as a woman is balancing work with kids because let's face it as enlightened as we all like to think we are - if you both have equally challenging jobs somehow the wife still stays home with the sick kids usually and deals with the school.

      Honestly, this sounds more to do with your relationship with your spouse than something workplace/industry related. If you family has decided to have both parents working, it should be understood that family activities would have to be split as well. Or at least, the responsibilities between you two understood.

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      Christian Graus
      wrote on last edited by
      #4

      Agreed. I work from home, so for us, it's easy. I look after the kids if sick, I do the school run, I cook the meals. But, that's something that each couple needs to negotiate, if both work.

      Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.

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      • C Christian Graus

        Agreed. I work from home, so for us, it's easy. I look after the kids if sick, I do the school run, I cook the meals. But, that's something that each couple needs to negotiate, if both work.

        Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.

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        Sharon Freas
        wrote on last edited by
        #5

        Fair comments - in our case it probably started more because I didn't have a travel job and my husband was working as a consultant and on the road a lot. A fairer thing would probably have been to say give help to parents in IT for the work/life balance

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        • S Sharon Freas

          Fair comments - in our case it probably started more because I didn't have a travel job and my husband was working as a consultant and on the road a lot. A fairer thing would probably have been to say give help to parents in IT for the work/life balance

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          C Offline
          Christian Graus
          wrote on last edited by
          #6

          I think work/life balance is a struggle everywhere, but especially in IT, and especially if you work from home at all. I work every Sat for at least a few hours, and often on weekends, because the office is right there, and things need to be done. That's why I hate smart phones. Can't people spend a BIT of time disconnected from the rest of the world ?

          Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.

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          • S Sharon Freas

            Rant on - I've been in the software profession for a very, very long time now. I started as a real-time concurrent programmer and these days wear a web developer's hat. I am female. I have been bombarded lately by articles, emails, etc. telling me how to succeed in this industry as a female. It's simple (and hard) - figure out what the business needs, keep on top of the technology and write software that meets those needs. I don't need to know how to dress for success as a woman (code project!), join any woman only IT groups, listen to a newly-minted MVP who's been in development for a year (drove me batty to see that one), etc. It reminds me of when I went to buy a pickup truck and the sales guy tried to show me the makeup mirror. Geez! Just let me do my friggin job without telling me how it is impossible for me to "succeed" because of my gender. The only thing that is a lot harder in this profession as a woman is balancing work with kids because let's face it as enlightened as we all like to think we are - if you both have equally challenging jobs somehow the wife still stays home with the sick kids usually and deals with the school. I think this is where a lot of the women who start in IT go. It's really tough to keep that balance and be on the hot projects too. I don't need a special hand up to succeed. I am perfectly capable of learning what I need to know to do the job like anyone else. Enough already! - rant off

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            S Offline
            S Houghtelin
            wrote on last edited by
            #7

            In general I agree with what you are saying. As a person who has physical limitations one thing that stands out in my experience is that people perceive me differently whether they are aware of it or not. Usually not in a flattering way It’s just how people are wired. I have always needed to excel at what I do to overcome that perception. Rather than getting angry about it, I’ve learned to accept it as a fact of life that I have some control over but not very much, but some. Once I get past those perceptions with the people I work with I usually end up being the go to person even on matters that I am not expert in because I learn quick and know how to find information. Now you need to talk to your husband about the kid duty, in my family, I am the one who gets to deal with sick kid and, kid event issues because I simply have more vacation and personal days off.

            It was broke, so I fixed it.

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            • S Sharon Freas

              Rant on - I've been in the software profession for a very, very long time now. I started as a real-time concurrent programmer and these days wear a web developer's hat. I am female. I have been bombarded lately by articles, emails, etc. telling me how to succeed in this industry as a female. It's simple (and hard) - figure out what the business needs, keep on top of the technology and write software that meets those needs. I don't need to know how to dress for success as a woman (code project!), join any woman only IT groups, listen to a newly-minted MVP who's been in development for a year (drove me batty to see that one), etc. It reminds me of when I went to buy a pickup truck and the sales guy tried to show me the makeup mirror. Geez! Just let me do my friggin job without telling me how it is impossible for me to "succeed" because of my gender. The only thing that is a lot harder in this profession as a woman is balancing work with kids because let's face it as enlightened as we all like to think we are - if you both have equally challenging jobs somehow the wife still stays home with the sick kids usually and deals with the school. I think this is where a lot of the women who start in IT go. It's really tough to keep that balance and be on the hot projects too. I don't need a special hand up to succeed. I am perfectly capable of learning what I need to know to do the job like anyone else. Enough already! - rant off

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              L Offline
              Lost User
              wrote on last edited by
              #8

              That was a pretty good rant.... for a girl. :-D

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              • S Sharon Freas

                Rant on - I've been in the software profession for a very, very long time now. I started as a real-time concurrent programmer and these days wear a web developer's hat. I am female. I have been bombarded lately by articles, emails, etc. telling me how to succeed in this industry as a female. It's simple (and hard) - figure out what the business needs, keep on top of the technology and write software that meets those needs. I don't need to know how to dress for success as a woman (code project!), join any woman only IT groups, listen to a newly-minted MVP who's been in development for a year (drove me batty to see that one), etc. It reminds me of when I went to buy a pickup truck and the sales guy tried to show me the makeup mirror. Geez! Just let me do my friggin job without telling me how it is impossible for me to "succeed" because of my gender. The only thing that is a lot harder in this profession as a woman is balancing work with kids because let's face it as enlightened as we all like to think we are - if you both have equally challenging jobs somehow the wife still stays home with the sick kids usually and deals with the school. I think this is where a lot of the women who start in IT go. It's really tough to keep that balance and be on the hot projects too. I don't need a special hand up to succeed. I am perfectly capable of learning what I need to know to do the job like anyone else. Enough already! - rant off

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                R Offline
                Ravi Bhavnani
                wrote on last edited by
                #9

                Member 8824288 wrote:

                I am perfectly capable of learning what I need to know to do the job like anyone else.

                :thumbsup: /ravi

                My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

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                • S Sharon Freas

                  Rant on - I've been in the software profession for a very, very long time now. I started as a real-time concurrent programmer and these days wear a web developer's hat. I am female. I have been bombarded lately by articles, emails, etc. telling me how to succeed in this industry as a female. It's simple (and hard) - figure out what the business needs, keep on top of the technology and write software that meets those needs. I don't need to know how to dress for success as a woman (code project!), join any woman only IT groups, listen to a newly-minted MVP who's been in development for a year (drove me batty to see that one), etc. It reminds me of when I went to buy a pickup truck and the sales guy tried to show me the makeup mirror. Geez! Just let me do my friggin job without telling me how it is impossible for me to "succeed" because of my gender. The only thing that is a lot harder in this profession as a woman is balancing work with kids because let's face it as enlightened as we all like to think we are - if you both have equally challenging jobs somehow the wife still stays home with the sick kids usually and deals with the school. I think this is where a lot of the women who start in IT go. It's really tough to keep that balance and be on the hot projects too. I don't need a special hand up to succeed. I am perfectly capable of learning what I need to know to do the job like anyone else. Enough already! - rant off

                  Mike HankeyM Offline
                  Mike HankeyM Offline
                  Mike Hankey
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #10

                  Member 8824288 wrote:

                  I don't need a special hand up to succeed. I am perfectly capable of learning what I need to know to do the job like anyone else.

                  Good for you. :thumbsup:

                  VS2010/Atmel Studio 6.1 ToDo Manager Extension Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the restraints.

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                  • S Sharon Freas

                    Rant on - I've been in the software profession for a very, very long time now. I started as a real-time concurrent programmer and these days wear a web developer's hat. I am female. I have been bombarded lately by articles, emails, etc. telling me how to succeed in this industry as a female. It's simple (and hard) - figure out what the business needs, keep on top of the technology and write software that meets those needs. I don't need to know how to dress for success as a woman (code project!), join any woman only IT groups, listen to a newly-minted MVP who's been in development for a year (drove me batty to see that one), etc. It reminds me of when I went to buy a pickup truck and the sales guy tried to show me the makeup mirror. Geez! Just let me do my friggin job without telling me how it is impossible for me to "succeed" because of my gender. The only thing that is a lot harder in this profession as a woman is balancing work with kids because let's face it as enlightened as we all like to think we are - if you both have equally challenging jobs somehow the wife still stays home with the sick kids usually and deals with the school. I think this is where a lot of the women who start in IT go. It's really tough to keep that balance and be on the hot projects too. I don't need a special hand up to succeed. I am perfectly capable of learning what I need to know to do the job like anyone else. Enough already! - rant off

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                    L Offline
                    Lost User
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #11

                    They really don't mean it, they just want to sell you stuff, if this is of any consolation.

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                    • S Sharon Freas

                      Rant on - I've been in the software profession for a very, very long time now. I started as a real-time concurrent programmer and these days wear a web developer's hat. I am female. I have been bombarded lately by articles, emails, etc. telling me how to succeed in this industry as a female. It's simple (and hard) - figure out what the business needs, keep on top of the technology and write software that meets those needs. I don't need to know how to dress for success as a woman (code project!), join any woman only IT groups, listen to a newly-minted MVP who's been in development for a year (drove me batty to see that one), etc. It reminds me of when I went to buy a pickup truck and the sales guy tried to show me the makeup mirror. Geez! Just let me do my friggin job without telling me how it is impossible for me to "succeed" because of my gender. The only thing that is a lot harder in this profession as a woman is balancing work with kids because let's face it as enlightened as we all like to think we are - if you both have equally challenging jobs somehow the wife still stays home with the sick kids usually and deals with the school. I think this is where a lot of the women who start in IT go. It's really tough to keep that balance and be on the hot projects too. I don't need a special hand up to succeed. I am perfectly capable of learning what I need to know to do the job like anyone else. Enough already! - rant off

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                      T Offline
                      TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #12

                      Damn! Damn Straight! Thank you!

                      If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
                      You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
                      Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein

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                      • S S Houghtelin

                        In general I agree with what you are saying. As a person who has physical limitations one thing that stands out in my experience is that people perceive me differently whether they are aware of it or not. Usually not in a flattering way It’s just how people are wired. I have always needed to excel at what I do to overcome that perception. Rather than getting angry about it, I’ve learned to accept it as a fact of life that I have some control over but not very much, but some. Once I get past those perceptions with the people I work with I usually end up being the go to person even on matters that I am not expert in because I learn quick and know how to find information. Now you need to talk to your husband about the kid duty, in my family, I am the one who gets to deal with sick kid and, kid event issues because I simply have more vacation and personal days off.

                        It was broke, so I fixed it.

                        S Offline
                        S Offline
                        Sharon Freas
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #13

                        Thanks for the advice but at this point the kid is 22 LOL. Raising a gifted, learning-disabled kid meant both of us couldn't be on the hot projects. Mostly because getting him through school was a job unto itself. I'm happy with the choices I made and the choices we made as a couple. We've had a great marriage for 25 years and still going strong. It sounds like you've found peace with what life has handed you as well. Good for you.

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                        • L Lost User

                          That was a pretty good rant.... for a girl. :-D

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                          Sharon Freas
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #14

                          LOL

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                          • C Christian Graus

                            Amen. My daughter just sent me a video she'd been shown at school, encouraging her to view her life in these sort of terms, that is, 'as a woman, how do you overcome the way the world works against you'. We just hired a new developer. We hired a female. Why ? Because she was the best applicant. The gender of applicants was not something that registered as being remotely a factor in anything. If you want to succeed, be good at what you do. That's all there is. It doesn't matter what your gender, or orientation or hobbies, or anything else unrelated to job performance, are. Do the job well, and you'll succeed. What concerns me is that my daughter is being encouraged to make excuses and expect to fail, instead of doing her best to be her best, whatever that may be.

                            Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.

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                            Sharon Freas
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #15

                            I wish you and your daughter luck. Hopefully common sense will win out over the marketing

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                            • S Sharon Freas

                              Rant on - I've been in the software profession for a very, very long time now. I started as a real-time concurrent programmer and these days wear a web developer's hat. I am female. I have been bombarded lately by articles, emails, etc. telling me how to succeed in this industry as a female. It's simple (and hard) - figure out what the business needs, keep on top of the technology and write software that meets those needs. I don't need to know how to dress for success as a woman (code project!), join any woman only IT groups, listen to a newly-minted MVP who's been in development for a year (drove me batty to see that one), etc. It reminds me of when I went to buy a pickup truck and the sales guy tried to show me the makeup mirror. Geez! Just let me do my friggin job without telling me how it is impossible for me to "succeed" because of my gender. The only thing that is a lot harder in this profession as a woman is balancing work with kids because let's face it as enlightened as we all like to think we are - if you both have equally challenging jobs somehow the wife still stays home with the sick kids usually and deals with the school. I think this is where a lot of the women who start in IT go. It's really tough to keep that balance and be on the hot projects too. I don't need a special hand up to succeed. I am perfectly capable of learning what I need to know to do the job like anyone else. Enough already! - rant off

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                              M Offline
                              Marc Clifton
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #16

                              The reality is that women often still receive lower pay than men in the same job. Furthermore, there is a "consciousness" (if you want to call it that) that women in the workforce are still "discriminated" against, whether overtly or not, and that men and society as a whole need to be educated to treat women equally. Otherwise, why, for example, would the Albany Chamber of Commerce have a Recongizing Women of Excellence[^] program? Unfortunately, there are those that then realize this is a marketing opportunity, or rather, a money-making opportunity, to feed off of the supposed insecurities and fears of women rather than doing something meaningful to eliminate the discrimination. Hence the flurry of "how to succeed as a woman" gimmicks. Then again, the CoC does not have a "Recognizing Men of Excellence" program, nor do I get "how to succeed as a man" gimmicky emails (well, I get other "how to succeed as a man" emails, but those go to spam, hahaha.) So, while I appreciate your rant, there is truth to the discrimination, and rather than being left alone to do your job, may I humbly suggest that you instead become vocal about doing your job (like you did here) and help bring equality to the scene. And I would also submit that, frankly, the reason the wife stays home with the sick kids is "simply" because women do tend to be more nurturing than men. It's an archetype thing, but the truth of archetypes is also important to recognize and honor. Having raised my son from 9 years old to now 22 as a single parent, I can well appreciate the loving touch that a woman provides, having to have learned how to be more nurturing myself raising my son. Thoughts? Marc

                              Testers Wanted!
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                              • S Sharon Freas

                                Rant on - I've been in the software profession for a very, very long time now. I started as a real-time concurrent programmer and these days wear a web developer's hat. I am female. I have been bombarded lately by articles, emails, etc. telling me how to succeed in this industry as a female. It's simple (and hard) - figure out what the business needs, keep on top of the technology and write software that meets those needs. I don't need to know how to dress for success as a woman (code project!), join any woman only IT groups, listen to a newly-minted MVP who's been in development for a year (drove me batty to see that one), etc. It reminds me of when I went to buy a pickup truck and the sales guy tried to show me the makeup mirror. Geez! Just let me do my friggin job without telling me how it is impossible for me to "succeed" because of my gender. The only thing that is a lot harder in this profession as a woman is balancing work with kids because let's face it as enlightened as we all like to think we are - if you both have equally challenging jobs somehow the wife still stays home with the sick kids usually and deals with the school. I think this is where a lot of the women who start in IT go. It's really tough to keep that balance and be on the hot projects too. I don't need a special hand up to succeed. I am perfectly capable of learning what I need to know to do the job like anyone else. Enough already! - rant off

                                L Offline
                                L Offline
                                Lost User
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #17

                                :thumbsup: I am sick of the media in general continuing to report in terms of sex, Like 'first woman professor of ...' etc. Surely sex isn't relevant unless, well, it's relevant? I also disagree with them mentioning race in this context, but know some racial minority members (politically correct enough?) see it as being a positive role model. Be interested in your view, as a non-male.

                                MVVM # - I did it My Way ___________________________________________ Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011 .\\axxx (That's an 'M')

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                                • S Sharon Freas

                                  Rant on - I've been in the software profession for a very, very long time now. I started as a real-time concurrent programmer and these days wear a web developer's hat. I am female. I have been bombarded lately by articles, emails, etc. telling me how to succeed in this industry as a female. It's simple (and hard) - figure out what the business needs, keep on top of the technology and write software that meets those needs. I don't need to know how to dress for success as a woman (code project!), join any woman only IT groups, listen to a newly-minted MVP who's been in development for a year (drove me batty to see that one), etc. It reminds me of when I went to buy a pickup truck and the sales guy tried to show me the makeup mirror. Geez! Just let me do my friggin job without telling me how it is impossible for me to "succeed" because of my gender. The only thing that is a lot harder in this profession as a woman is balancing work with kids because let's face it as enlightened as we all like to think we are - if you both have equally challenging jobs somehow the wife still stays home with the sick kids usually and deals with the school. I think this is where a lot of the women who start in IT go. It's really tough to keep that balance and be on the hot projects too. I don't need a special hand up to succeed. I am perfectly capable of learning what I need to know to do the job like anyone else. Enough already! - rant off

                                  N Offline
                                  N Offline
                                  Nish Nishant
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #18

                                  Member 8824288 wrote:

                                  listen to a newly-minted MVP who's been in development for a year (drove me batty to see that one), etc.

                                  A CodeProject MVP messaged you (in these forums) for an year? If so, why? :~

                                  Regards, Nish


                                  Blog: voidnish.wordpress.com The life of a Malayalee American - by Nish

                                  An article I recently wrote for an event souvenir

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                                  • N Nish Nishant

                                    Member 8824288 wrote:

                                    listen to a newly-minted MVP who's been in development for a year (drove me batty to see that one), etc.

                                    A CodeProject MVP messaged you (in these forums) for an year? If so, why? :~

                                    Regards, Nish


                                    Blog: voidnish.wordpress.com The life of a Malayalee American - by Nish

                                    An article I recently wrote for an event souvenir

                                    S Offline
                                    S Offline
                                    Sharon Freas
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #19

                                    Sorry I wasn't clear. I was referring to someone who had been in another profession a year previously being made an MVP by another program, not a CodeProject MVP. To me MVP is someone who has leadership and experience to offer to people in the profession. I don't see how someone with a year's programming experience can offer that.

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                                    • S Sharon Freas

                                      Sorry I wasn't clear. I was referring to someone who had been in another profession a year previously being made an MVP by another program, not a CodeProject MVP. To me MVP is someone who has leadership and experience to offer to people in the profession. I don't see how someone with a year's programming experience can offer that.

                                      N Offline
                                      N Offline
                                      Nish Nishant
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #20

                                      Ah, thanks for clarifying.

                                      Regards, Nish


                                      Blog: voidnish.wordpress.com The life of a Malayalee American - by Nish

                                      An article I recently wrote for an event souvenir

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • S Sharon Freas

                                        Rant on - I've been in the software profession for a very, very long time now. I started as a real-time concurrent programmer and these days wear a web developer's hat. I am female. I have been bombarded lately by articles, emails, etc. telling me how to succeed in this industry as a female. It's simple (and hard) - figure out what the business needs, keep on top of the technology and write software that meets those needs. I don't need to know how to dress for success as a woman (code project!), join any woman only IT groups, listen to a newly-minted MVP who's been in development for a year (drove me batty to see that one), etc. It reminds me of when I went to buy a pickup truck and the sales guy tried to show me the makeup mirror. Geez! Just let me do my friggin job without telling me how it is impossible for me to "succeed" because of my gender. The only thing that is a lot harder in this profession as a woman is balancing work with kids because let's face it as enlightened as we all like to think we are - if you both have equally challenging jobs somehow the wife still stays home with the sick kids usually and deals with the school. I think this is where a lot of the women who start in IT go. It's really tough to keep that balance and be on the hot projects too. I don't need a special hand up to succeed. I am perfectly capable of learning what I need to know to do the job like anyone else. Enough already! - rant off

                                        M Offline
                                        M Offline
                                        Mladen Jankovic
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #21

                                        Member 8824288 wrote:

                                        I started as a real-time concurrent programmer and these days wear a web developer's hat.

                                        [OT] How the hell do things like this happen? What makes people go from programming real-time systems to web development?

                                        more from me | GALex: C++ Library for Advanced Genetic Algorithms

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                                        • M Marc Clifton

                                          The reality is that women often still receive lower pay than men in the same job. Furthermore, there is a "consciousness" (if you want to call it that) that women in the workforce are still "discriminated" against, whether overtly or not, and that men and society as a whole need to be educated to treat women equally. Otherwise, why, for example, would the Albany Chamber of Commerce have a Recongizing Women of Excellence[^] program? Unfortunately, there are those that then realize this is a marketing opportunity, or rather, a money-making opportunity, to feed off of the supposed insecurities and fears of women rather than doing something meaningful to eliminate the discrimination. Hence the flurry of "how to succeed as a woman" gimmicks. Then again, the CoC does not have a "Recognizing Men of Excellence" program, nor do I get "how to succeed as a man" gimmicky emails (well, I get other "how to succeed as a man" emails, but those go to spam, hahaha.) So, while I appreciate your rant, there is truth to the discrimination, and rather than being left alone to do your job, may I humbly suggest that you instead become vocal about doing your job (like you did here) and help bring equality to the scene. And I would also submit that, frankly, the reason the wife stays home with the sick kids is "simply" because women do tend to be more nurturing than men. It's an archetype thing, but the truth of archetypes is also important to recognize and honor. Having raised my son from 9 years old to now 22 as a single parent, I can well appreciate the loving touch that a woman provides, having to have learned how to be more nurturing myself raising my son. Thoughts? Marc

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                                          Sharon Freas
                                          wrote on last edited by
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                                          I guess I look at the lower pay statistics and the "consciousness" with some degree of suspicion. 1. Is this true in the software profession? 2. IF women in the same job as a man are being paid less - do they have the same years of experience? - did they put in the hours to work the hot projects? - have they published/spoken as much? - did they constantly pick the projects that would expose them to the latest high paying technology? - etc. I think it's pretty hard to be really sure you are comparing apples and apples. I'm not saying discrimination doesn't ever happen. I've occasionally run across it. But I find it pretty hard to buy as a systemic thing. I don't personally believe in "Women of" programs or "X of" programs of any type other than accomplishment. If you want to have a Developers of Excellence program or a Chamber of Commerce Business Person of Excellence program, more power to you. Replacing the "good old boys" network with a "good old girls" one does no one any good. We've moved past that, let's not go back. I'd submit that those with the experience and leadership to mentor newer members of the profession should do that regardless of anything except talent and willingness to work hard. It may as a cultural thing turn out that more often women choose to take on family duties but as some of our colleagues pointed out above, that isn't always the case. I think being a single parent is a very tough thing regardless of your gender. My hat is off to you for pulling it off. My 2 cents

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