Little Johnnie
-
Little Johnnie's father took him to class his first day of school. Johnnie's dad pulled the teacher aside and told her, Johnnie has a bad gambling problem so don't make a bet with him you can't win. The teacher agreed. When the teacher was passing out the text books Johnny said, "Teacher, I'll make a bet with you," she replied "Ok, what?" Johnny said "I'll bet you fifty dollars I can tell you what color panties you have on." She agreed and told him after the last bell he was to stay in the room and then he could guess. While Johnny and the class were at recess the teacher took her panties off and put them in her purse, and when school was out Johnny stayed in the classroom and the teacher locked the door and said "Okay Johnny, what color are they? He replied "Yellow." So the teacher raised her dress and said "No your wrong, I'm not wearing any." Johnny asked her to walk him out to his dad's car and he would get her money. So, as Johnny passed his dad going to the car the teacher told his dad that Johnny finally got beat. He asked what she meant and was told "Johnny bet me fifty dollars he could tell me what color panties I had on, so I took them off." The father replied "That son of a bitch, he bet me a hundred dollars he could see your pussy before the end of the day."
The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything. ~Edward Phelps Man's wisest mistake: Marriage. ~ Suresh Suthar
-
Little Johnnie's father took him to class his first day of school. Johnnie's dad pulled the teacher aside and told her, Johnnie has a bad gambling problem so don't make a bet with him you can't win. The teacher agreed. When the teacher was passing out the text books Johnny said, "Teacher, I'll make a bet with you," she replied "Ok, what?" Johnny said "I'll bet you fifty dollars I can tell you what color panties you have on." She agreed and told him after the last bell he was to stay in the room and then he could guess. While Johnny and the class were at recess the teacher took her panties off and put them in her purse, and when school was out Johnny stayed in the classroom and the teacher locked the door and said "Okay Johnny, what color are they? He replied "Yellow." So the teacher raised her dress and said "No your wrong, I'm not wearing any." Johnny asked her to walk him out to his dad's car and he would get her money. So, as Johnny passed his dad going to the car the teacher told his dad that Johnny finally got beat. He asked what she meant and was told "Johnny bet me fifty dollars he could tell me what color panties I had on, so I took them off." The father replied "That son of a bitch, he bet me a hundred dollars he could see your pussy before the end of the day."
The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything. ~Edward Phelps Man's wisest mistake: Marriage. ~ Suresh Suthar
Suresh Suthar wrote:
bad gambling problem
It's not a problem as long as you win! :doh:
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-----
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience
Greg King
-----
I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability!
Ron White, Comedian -
Suresh Suthar wrote:
bad gambling problem
It's not a problem as long as you win! :doh:
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-----
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience
Greg King
-----
I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability!
Ron White, ComedianAre you our eponymous hero of the tale?
“Education is not the piling on of learning, information, data, facts, skills, or abilities - that's training or instruction - but is rather making visible what is hidden as a seed”
“One of the greatest problems of our time is that many are schooled but few are educated”Sir Thomas More (1478 – 1535)
-
Are you our eponymous hero of the tale?
“Education is not the piling on of learning, information, data, facts, skills, or abilities - that's training or instruction - but is rather making visible what is hidden as a seed”
“One of the greatest problems of our time is that many are schooled but few are educated”Sir Thomas More (1478 – 1535)
Not this time, alas! You will notice that there is a small discrepancy when it comes to the spelling of the first name... ;P Come to think of it, I've never had any teacher in school where I would be remotely interested in seeing their privates. All my teachers were old hags! :rolleyes:
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-----
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience
Greg King
-----
I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability!
Ron White, Comedian -
Little Johnnie's father took him to class his first day of school. Johnnie's dad pulled the teacher aside and told her, Johnnie has a bad gambling problem so don't make a bet with him you can't win. The teacher agreed. When the teacher was passing out the text books Johnny said, "Teacher, I'll make a bet with you," she replied "Ok, what?" Johnny said "I'll bet you fifty dollars I can tell you what color panties you have on." She agreed and told him after the last bell he was to stay in the room and then he could guess. While Johnny and the class were at recess the teacher took her panties off and put them in her purse, and when school was out Johnny stayed in the classroom and the teacher locked the door and said "Okay Johnny, what color are they? He replied "Yellow." So the teacher raised her dress and said "No your wrong, I'm not wearing any." Johnny asked her to walk him out to his dad's car and he would get her money. So, as Johnny passed his dad going to the car the teacher told his dad that Johnny finally got beat. He asked what she meant and was told "Johnny bet me fifty dollars he could tell me what color panties I had on, so I took them off." The father replied "That son of a bitch, he bet me a hundred dollars he could see your pussy before the end of the day."
The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything. ~Edward Phelps Man's wisest mistake: Marriage. ~ Suresh Suthar
Little Johnnie's father gets a call from the headmaster one day. "I have to tell you that your son has painted on the wall of the school in letters two foot high 'Alex Ferguson is a cunt'". "I don't believe it" said Johnnie's father. "Well I can assure you he has, I myself observed him doing it". "No, I mean I can't believe he's actually gone and done it, I owe him a tenner now".
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
-
Little Johnnie's father gets a call from the headmaster one day. "I have to tell you that your son has painted on the wall of the school in letters two foot high 'Alex Ferguson is a cunt'". "I don't believe it" said Johnnie's father. "Well I can assure you he has, I myself observed him doing it". "No, I mean I can't believe he's actually gone and done it, I owe him a tenner now".
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
Genuine, honest to Betsy, LOL! :laugh:
Reality is an illusion caused by a lack of alcohol
-
Little Johnnie's father took him to class his first day of school. Johnnie's dad pulled the teacher aside and told her, Johnnie has a bad gambling problem so don't make a bet with him you can't win. The teacher agreed. When the teacher was passing out the text books Johnny said, "Teacher, I'll make a bet with you," she replied "Ok, what?" Johnny said "I'll bet you fifty dollars I can tell you what color panties you have on." She agreed and told him after the last bell he was to stay in the room and then he could guess. While Johnny and the class were at recess the teacher took her panties off and put them in her purse, and when school was out Johnny stayed in the classroom and the teacher locked the door and said "Okay Johnny, what color are they? He replied "Yellow." So the teacher raised her dress and said "No your wrong, I'm not wearing any." Johnny asked her to walk him out to his dad's car and he would get her money. So, as Johnny passed his dad going to the car the teacher told his dad that Johnny finally got beat. He asked what she meant and was told "Johnny bet me fifty dollars he could tell me what color panties I had on, so I took them off." The father replied "That son of a bitch, he bet me a hundred dollars he could see your pussy before the end of the day."
The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything. ~Edward Phelps Man's wisest mistake: Marriage. ~ Suresh Suthar
(Possibly a repost, but I can't find it at the moment.) The Internal Revenue Service decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to an appointment with the toughest auditor in the office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney. The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable." "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a demonstration?" The auditor thinks for a moment and says, "OK. Go ahead." Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye." The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet." Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye." The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous. "Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk and piss into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between." The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. "Are you OK?" the auditor asks. "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me $20,000 that he could come in here and piss all over your desk -- and that you'd be happy about it!"
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined." - Homer
