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Unlikely movies

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  • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

    First, catch your shark...

    Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

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    Corporal Agarn
    wrote on last edited by
    #21

    That's how he got arrested. :laugh:

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    • D dan sh

      Cannabis?

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      phil o
      wrote on last edited by
      #22

      At this level of improbability? I would rather go for acid, at a massive dose...

      [Flags]
      public enum Bool {
      True, False, ForSure, Maybe, ProbablyNot, Depends, NotDecidedYet, Undefined
      }

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      • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

        Yeah, but most of 'em are bait...jail bait...

        Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

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        Corporal Agarn
        wrote on last edited by
        #23

        By-the-way Griff where is the fin[^] you owe me? :-D Not really but I tried.... where is that coat.

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        • N Nagy Vilmos

          Okay, I'll buy into 'snow sharks' swimming through the HEAVILY compacted snow like standard issue [non laser fitted] sharks swim through the sea. I'll even accept, for the sake of scientific debate, that the bikini clad girls in the hot tub are an integral part of the plot. What I don't get is how said shark gets into the hot tub to eat aforementioned girls without anyone noticing? I am not willing to watch the entire film to find out.

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          Blue Waffle
          wrote on last edited by
          #24

          Nagy Vilmos wrote:

          What I don't get is how said shark gets into the hot tub to eat aforementioned girls without anyone noticing?

          Because everybody is too busy looking at the bikini-clad girl?

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          • J JimmyRopes

            OriginalGriff wrote:

            An avalanche releases a bunch of snow swimming killer sharks to hunt down bikini clad drunken girls.

            How do I meet these girls? :-D

            The report of my death was an exaggeration - Mark Twain
            Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
            I'm on-line therefore I am. JimmyRopes

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            Rob Grainger
            wrote on last edited by
            #25

            Didn't you read the synopsis - you're too late, they've all been eaten by sharks!

            "If you don't fail at least 90 percent of the time, you're not aiming high enough." Alan Kay.

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            • R Rob Grainger

              Didn't you read the synopsis - you're too late, they've all been eaten by sharks!

              "If you don't fail at least 90 percent of the time, you're not aiming high enough." Alan Kay.

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              JimmyRopes
              wrote on last edited by
              #26

              I was hoping that one or two got away. :-D

              The report of my death was an exaggeration - Mark Twain
              Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
              I'm on-line therefore I am. JimmyRopes

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              • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                Yeah, but most of 'em are bait...jail bait...

                Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

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                JimmyRopes
                wrote on last edited by
                #27

                Those are the tasty ones. :-D

                The report of my death was an exaggeration - Mark Twain
                Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
                I'm on-line therefore I am. JimmyRopes

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                • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                  OK, so you thought Sharknado[^] was a bit unlikely. And lots of people thought it was total rubbish: 3.4/10 at IMDB says a lot. But now: (roll on the drums) ...they announce... (building up the tension here) ...the latest in the series... (sandwich on the piano) ...Avalanche Sharks[^] Yes, you read that right. An avalanche releases a bunch of snow swimming killer sharks to hunt down bikini clad drunken girls. On a mountain. Don't believe me? http://www.fangoria.com/new/exclusive-trailer-avalanche-sharks/[^] Who thinks up this drivel? Who the heck finances it?

                  Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

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                  Simon ORiordan from UK
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #28

                  If this was the eighties, we'd get Bikini-clad girls - with leg warmers - chasing down and eating the sharks. On a mountain. To the track "I Eat Cannibals". The eighties. When people still tried.:suss:

                  OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • S Simon ORiordan from UK

                    If this was the eighties, we'd get Bikini-clad girls - with leg warmers - chasing down and eating the sharks. On a mountain. To the track "I Eat Cannibals". The eighties. When people still tried.:suss:

                    OriginalGriffO Offline
                    OriginalGriffO Offline
                    OriginalGriff
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #29

                    And if it had been the Nineties, it would have been the Spic Girls1 chasing the sharks while screaming "Girl Power". I wouldn't have watched that movie, either!

                    Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

                    "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                    "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

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                    • J Jorgen Andersson

                      Hey, when they make a movie with laser sharks in it I might actually watch it.

                      Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello[^]

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                      User 9849943
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #30

                      Hah! with the recent discovery of a fossil of a member of the T-Rex family in Alaska I doubt it would be laser sharks they use next: One of these beasties is found intact and frozen by a team of "scientists" (who oddly enough are made up of a nerdy yet comical genius, a power mad sociopath, a young blond well-endowed female scientist (played by an actress who possibly used to be in the cast of Baywatch/adult movies/pre-teen or teen soap a la Dawson’s Creek), and finally a Troy McClure type who doesn’t necessarily have to be a scientist, but could perform some sort of support role and could also possibly have some sort of shady special forces past (who with said female will save the day)) Power mad sociopath thaws out said beastie ignoring the female leads warning (that due to her proximity to the heaters thawing out the creature has to wear a bikini even though she is in the Arctic Circle!!) Driven by his lust for fame/power/money or a misguided attempt to gain all three in order to get said female lead. The beast thaws out quicker than expected eating comical nerdy type who was inexplicably checking whatever piece of technical sounding nonsense they can use for him being on his own in a lab at four a.m. (AKA surfing porn sites,) and promptly escapes heading southward where it encounters a group of bikini clad college girls skinny dipping in the local lake/ river/ open air Hot tub and promptly eats them. (There may also be an episode involving a father and son camping trip where only the child survives depending on budget) Cue appearance of local Sheriff who ignores Troy McClure and female scientist and instead believes power mad sociopaths feeble excuse about bear attacks. Power mad will attempt to catch / track the beast with help of large shady biotech organisation and will die horribly, the sheriff will be mauled yet somehow survive and Troy McClure will defeat the beast (although somehow will rip open his shirt and gain a slight flesh wound to prove he is suitably alpha male,) using a chainsaw/ flares and petrol/ welding equipment?/ dynamite (which is found in a remote cabin or abandoned mine,) and a plan devised by female scientist to lure the creature to its death with some newly discovered theory about the creatures behaviour in comparison to modern predators proving she is a real scientist. Hmmm... Looking at this, my talents as a script writer are clearly being overlooked, I’m going to quit my job and go to Hollywood to follow my dreams! :-D

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                      • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                        OK, so you thought Sharknado[^] was a bit unlikely. And lots of people thought it was total rubbish: 3.4/10 at IMDB says a lot. But now: (roll on the drums) ...they announce... (building up the tension here) ...the latest in the series... (sandwich on the piano) ...Avalanche Sharks[^] Yes, you read that right. An avalanche releases a bunch of snow swimming killer sharks to hunt down bikini clad drunken girls. On a mountain. Don't believe me? http://www.fangoria.com/new/exclusive-trailer-avalanche-sharks/[^] Who thinks up this drivel? Who the heck finances it?

                        Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

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                        patbob
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #31

                        OriginalGriff wrote:

                        Who thinks up this drivel? Who the heck finances it?

                        Alas, proof! Someone out there has developed the infinite improbability drive. :)

                        We can program with only 1's, but if all you've got are zeros, you've got nothing.

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                        • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                          OK, so you thought Sharknado[^] was a bit unlikely. And lots of people thought it was total rubbish: 3.4/10 at IMDB says a lot. But now: (roll on the drums) ...they announce... (building up the tension here) ...the latest in the series... (sandwich on the piano) ...Avalanche Sharks[^] Yes, you read that right. An avalanche releases a bunch of snow swimming killer sharks to hunt down bikini clad drunken girls. On a mountain. Don't believe me? http://www.fangoria.com/new/exclusive-trailer-avalanche-sharks/[^] Who thinks up this drivel? Who the heck finances it?

                          Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

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                          RafagaX
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #32

                          WTFH? :wtf: Fortunately such movies never get released widely...

                          CEO at: - Rafaga Systems - Para Facturas - Modern Components for the moment...

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                          • U User 9849943

                            Hah! with the recent discovery of a fossil of a member of the T-Rex family in Alaska I doubt it would be laser sharks they use next: One of these beasties is found intact and frozen by a team of "scientists" (who oddly enough are made up of a nerdy yet comical genius, a power mad sociopath, a young blond well-endowed female scientist (played by an actress who possibly used to be in the cast of Baywatch/adult movies/pre-teen or teen soap a la Dawson’s Creek), and finally a Troy McClure type who doesn’t necessarily have to be a scientist, but could perform some sort of support role and could also possibly have some sort of shady special forces past (who with said female will save the day)) Power mad sociopath thaws out said beastie ignoring the female leads warning (that due to her proximity to the heaters thawing out the creature has to wear a bikini even though she is in the Arctic Circle!!) Driven by his lust for fame/power/money or a misguided attempt to gain all three in order to get said female lead. The beast thaws out quicker than expected eating comical nerdy type who was inexplicably checking whatever piece of technical sounding nonsense they can use for him being on his own in a lab at four a.m. (AKA surfing porn sites,) and promptly escapes heading southward where it encounters a group of bikini clad college girls skinny dipping in the local lake/ river/ open air Hot tub and promptly eats them. (There may also be an episode involving a father and son camping trip where only the child survives depending on budget) Cue appearance of local Sheriff who ignores Troy McClure and female scientist and instead believes power mad sociopaths feeble excuse about bear attacks. Power mad will attempt to catch / track the beast with help of large shady biotech organisation and will die horribly, the sheriff will be mauled yet somehow survive and Troy McClure will defeat the beast (although somehow will rip open his shirt and gain a slight flesh wound to prove he is suitably alpha male,) using a chainsaw/ flares and petrol/ welding equipment?/ dynamite (which is found in a remote cabin or abandoned mine,) and a plan devised by female scientist to lure the creature to its death with some newly discovered theory about the creatures behaviour in comparison to modern predators proving she is a real scientist. Hmmm... Looking at this, my talents as a script writer are clearly being overlooked, I’m going to quit my job and go to Hollywood to follow my dreams! :-D

                            P Offline
                            P Offline
                            Peltier Cooler
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #33

                            *sigh* It's been done. Don't quit your day job. Snark off, have you seen Valley of the Gwangi? I think it does star Doug Troy McClure.

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                            • D Dalek Dave

                              Beat this![^]

                              --------------------------------- Obscurum per obscurius. Ad astra per alas porci. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.

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                              P Offline
                              purplemur
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #34

                              Okay: The Best Movie Ever[^] For more information, watch this: An insightful synopsis.[^]

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                                OK, so you thought Sharknado[^] was a bit unlikely. And lots of people thought it was total rubbish: 3.4/10 at IMDB says a lot. But now: (roll on the drums) ...they announce... (building up the tension here) ...the latest in the series... (sandwich on the piano) ...Avalanche Sharks[^] Yes, you read that right. An avalanche releases a bunch of snow swimming killer sharks to hunt down bikini clad drunken girls. On a mountain. Don't believe me? http://www.fangoria.com/new/exclusive-trailer-avalanche-sharks/[^] Who thinks up this drivel? Who the heck finances it?

                                Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

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                                D Offline
                                DaveX86
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #35

                                Awesome!...can't wait!...loved Sharknado :)

                                OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • D DaveX86

                                  Awesome!...can't wait!...loved Sharknado :)

                                  OriginalGriffO Offline
                                  OriginalGriffO Offline
                                  OriginalGriff
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #36

                                  Maaaan! That musta been some gooooood sh!t you were smoking! :laugh:

                                  Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

                                  "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                                  "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                                  D 1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                                    Maaaan! That musta been some gooooood sh!t you were smoking! :laugh:

                                    Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

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                                    D Offline
                                    DaveX86
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #37

                                    Sharktopus is still my favourite so far :)

                                    OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • D DaveX86

                                      Sharktopus is still my favourite so far :)

                                      OriginalGriffO Offline
                                      OriginalGriffO Offline
                                      OriginalGriff
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #38

                                      Yeah - but that's a documentary of sea life around Japan! :laugh:

                                      Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

                                      "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                                      "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                                      D 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                                        Yeah - but that's a documentary of sea life around Japan! :laugh:

                                        Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

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                                        D Offline
                                        DaveX86
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #39

                                        Yeah, that's for sure...all the new and interesting forms of life that are emerging since Fukushima! :omg:

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