Reading between the lines...questions from non-IT people
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I constantly hear non-IT types misusing terms. My brother in-law just texted to ask 'Does flash drives come from adobe? I cant view ESPN video...etc'. :omg: I showed it to the wife who commented 'what a moron, he means a zip drive!'. :wtf: :~ I tried my best not to laugh, or correct her. :rolleyes: but I couldn't help myself. Other commonly misused terms and what they actually mean to say: 0: upload - download, copy, import, export 1: file - folder (or the other way around) 2: database - any kind of file, but usually not a database 3: memory - hard drive space (or again, the other way around) What are some of the funnier misuses of IT related terms you have heard?
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
Can I get that in Excel?
Need custom software developed? I do custom programming based primarily on MS tools with an emphasis on C# development and consulting. "And they, since they Were not the one dead, turned to their affairs" -- Robert Frost "All users always want Excel" --Ennis Lynch
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He's not a programmer, he's one of those people that tells the programmers what to do, and how to do it. He's also good with buzzwords, and even if he doesn't always understand them it sounds good to the boss. :sigh:
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello[^]
So teach him some new buzzwords and let his boss look them up rather than admit he doesn't know them...:EvilGrinSmiley:
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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So teach him some new buzzwords and let his boss look them up rather than admit he doesn't know them...:EvilGrinSmiley:
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
That only worked once.
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello[^]
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That only worked once.
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello[^]
And you didn't chose words to get him fired? :laugh:
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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And you didn't chose words to get him fired? :laugh:
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
He's not that kind of stupid, and I'm not that kind of evil.
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello[^]
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One of my absolute favorites to this day is still: "I need faster internet or something, my computer keeps freezing on me." While they're not even online. They are under the impression that an internet connection determines how their computer runs, whether it involves the internet or not. What about when most people had dial-up? Did their computers only work when the phone line was free and they could connect? I also enjoy the confusion between memory and hard drive space. I hear that frequently.
djj55: Nice but may have a permission problem Pete O'Hanlon: He has my permission to run it.
Matt U. wrote:
"I need faster internet or something, my computer keeps freezing on me."
I'm sure that was funny in context... but in reality, everything is starting to run from the internet, and it really is the slowest communication point between all the connections in a computer. This nonsense will become more logical as time marches on.
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My best friend for >20 years still calls his tower the hard drive, and asks me how much 'hard memory' he has. I still have no idea what the hell he thinks he means. He won't stop saying it. It means something between drive space and RAM in his head. I've tried the "desk top / desk drawer" analogy. I've tried ripping it apart and showing him the actual components. Nothing works. He also runs a defrag when he thinks he sees evidence of malware, despite my assurances that he's waving a dead chicken at the thing. Technology hates him. I've never seen anyone have so many problems from normal judicious use of a computer or smartphone. It's impressive.
mikepwilson wrote:
Technology hates him. I've never seen anyone have so many problems from normal judicious use of a computer or smartphone. It's impressive.
So You haven't met MY Brothers. One asked me to fix his email. What happened is he forgot his password. :wtf:
David
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My best friend for >20 years still calls his tower the hard drive, and asks me how much 'hard memory' he has. I still have no idea what the hell he thinks he means. He won't stop saying it. It means something between drive space and RAM in his head. I've tried the "desk top / desk drawer" analogy. I've tried ripping it apart and showing him the actual components. Nothing works. He also runs a defrag when he thinks he sees evidence of malware, despite my assurances that he's waving a dead chicken at the thing. Technology hates him. I've never seen anyone have so many problems from normal judicious use of a computer or smartphone. It's impressive.
mikepwilson wrote:
My best friend for >20 years still calls his tower the hard drive,
I find that to be quite common for people of my parents ages and older (60's plus).
Quad skating his way through the world since the early 80's... Booger Mobile - My bright green 1964 Ford Falcon - check out the blog here!! | If you feel generous - make a donation to Camp Quality!!
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And you didn't chose words to get him fired? :laugh:
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
[C# required] Now you just create a "Excel Uploader" program that uses Excel Interop, and quietly make a CSV and uploads that instead. I actually had to use a website that was too complicated for the end user, so I used a WebX and auto-filled everything it could detect. Unfortunately file open dialogs can't be filled in programatically, so I used SendKeys.Send() on a Timer for that.
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I constantly hear non-IT types misusing terms. My brother in-law just texted to ask 'Does flash drives come from adobe? I cant view ESPN video...etc'. :omg: I showed it to the wife who commented 'what a moron, he means a zip drive!'. :wtf: :~ I tried my best not to laugh, or correct her. :rolleyes: but I couldn't help myself. Other commonly misused terms and what they actually mean to say: 0: upload - download, copy, import, export 1: file - folder (or the other way around) 2: database - any kind of file, but usually not a database 3: memory - hard drive space (or again, the other way around) What are some of the funnier misuses of IT related terms you have heard?
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
From tech people (unfortunately): A while ago our company started using Entity Framework and databinding. Completely unrelated I created a library we could use for a certain type of software. Appearently some people thought the one couldn't do without the other. So I got questions like "We can't use EF for this, should we use your library?" or "I need something else than EF, because I can't bind this value" and I'm just sitting there like "What does that have to do with anything?" :laugh: Luckily things have been better lately.
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I constantly hear non-IT types misusing terms. My brother in-law just texted to ask 'Does flash drives come from adobe? I cant view ESPN video...etc'. :omg: I showed it to the wife who commented 'what a moron, he means a zip drive!'. :wtf: :~ I tried my best not to laugh, or correct her. :rolleyes: but I couldn't help myself. Other commonly misused terms and what they actually mean to say: 0: upload - download, copy, import, export 1: file - folder (or the other way around) 2: database - any kind of file, but usually not a database 3: memory - hard drive space (or again, the other way around) What are some of the funnier misuses of IT related terms you have heard?
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
My brother usually has these problems: - Microsoft is not working (he means Word) - Mozzarella is not working (that is Firefox, apparently the cheese name is easier to remember than the actual company name)
Make it simple, as simple as possible, but not simpler.
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I constantly hear non-IT types misusing terms. My brother in-law just texted to ask 'Does flash drives come from adobe? I cant view ESPN video...etc'. :omg: I showed it to the wife who commented 'what a moron, he means a zip drive!'. :wtf: :~ I tried my best not to laugh, or correct her. :rolleyes: but I couldn't help myself. Other commonly misused terms and what they actually mean to say: 0: upload - download, copy, import, export 1: file - folder (or the other way around) 2: database - any kind of file, but usually not a database 3: memory - hard drive space (or again, the other way around) What are some of the funnier misuses of IT related terms you have heard?
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
A fiend refers to the computer (everything apart from mouse, keyboard & screen) as the "hard drive".
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I constantly hear non-IT types misusing terms. My brother in-law just texted to ask 'Does flash drives come from adobe? I cant view ESPN video...etc'. :omg: I showed it to the wife who commented 'what a moron, he means a zip drive!'. :wtf: :~ I tried my best not to laugh, or correct her. :rolleyes: but I couldn't help myself. Other commonly misused terms and what they actually mean to say: 0: upload - download, copy, import, export 1: file - folder (or the other way around) 2: database - any kind of file, but usually not a database 3: memory - hard drive space (or again, the other way around) What are some of the funnier misuses of IT related terms you have heard?
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
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I constantly hear non-IT types misusing terms. My brother in-law just texted to ask 'Does flash drives come from adobe? I cant view ESPN video...etc'. :omg: I showed it to the wife who commented 'what a moron, he means a zip drive!'. :wtf: :~ I tried my best not to laugh, or correct her. :rolleyes: but I couldn't help myself. Other commonly misused terms and what they actually mean to say: 0: upload - download, copy, import, export 1: file - folder (or the other way around) 2: database - any kind of file, but usually not a database 3: memory - hard drive space (or again, the other way around) What are some of the funnier misuses of IT related terms you have heard?
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
My mobile phone carrier's 3G speed is 500 MB Yeah... How easy it is to sell to a layman?
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems - Homer Simpson ---- Our heads are round so our thoughts can change direction - Francis Picabia
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I constantly hear non-IT types misusing terms. My brother in-law just texted to ask 'Does flash drives come from adobe? I cant view ESPN video...etc'. :omg: I showed it to the wife who commented 'what a moron, he means a zip drive!'. :wtf: :~ I tried my best not to laugh, or correct her. :rolleyes: but I couldn't help myself. Other commonly misused terms and what they actually mean to say: 0: upload - download, copy, import, export 1: file - folder (or the other way around) 2: database - any kind of file, but usually not a database 3: memory - hard drive space (or again, the other way around) What are some of the funnier misuses of IT related terms you have heard?
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
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I constantly hear non-IT types misusing terms. My brother in-law just texted to ask 'Does flash drives come from adobe? I cant view ESPN video...etc'. :omg: I showed it to the wife who commented 'what a moron, he means a zip drive!'. :wtf: :~ I tried my best not to laugh, or correct her. :rolleyes: but I couldn't help myself. Other commonly misused terms and what they actually mean to say: 0: upload - download, copy, import, export 1: file - folder (or the other way around) 2: database - any kind of file, but usually not a database 3: memory - hard drive space (or again, the other way around) What are some of the funnier misuses of IT related terms you have heard?
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
This topic reminded me of an occurrence in 1968 during the punched card era. We had a "database" of around 50,000 punched cards for our inventory. Each card was a type of inventory item. Punched into a card was the identifying information, quantity on hand, price, etc. The punched cards were stored in 25 trays. 2,000 cards per tray. They were kept in the user area where they could peruse them during the work day and brought to the data center at night to process all the orders and receipts to create updated punched cards which were merged into the deck replacing the out dated versions of each card. One morning, the inventory department manager came down to the data center and told us that there we 22 cards missing from the deck. (That's 22 out of ~50,000) I still don't know how he determine that. Anyway, he wanted us to run the ~50,000 cards through the computer and print out the missing cards.
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mikepwilson wrote:
My best friend for >20 years still calls his tower the hard drive,
I find that to be quite common for people of my parents ages and older (60's plus).
Quad skating his way through the world since the early 80's... Booger Mobile - My bright green 1964 Ford Falcon - check out the blog here!! | If you feel generous - make a donation to Camp Quality!!
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kmoorevs wrote:
2: database - any kind of file, but usually not a database
I hear database used for a table. Field for column (I will even use field back as not to confuse the user)
kmoorevs wrote:
zip drive!
So did you JUMP (drive) her? [edit]here hear :-O :sigh: [/edit]
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may I suggest you learn basic grammar and the difference between 'hear' and 'here' before we 'here' any more of your pointless comments
;P Thank you, kind person.
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I constantly hear non-IT types misusing terms. My brother in-law just texted to ask 'Does flash drives come from adobe? I cant view ESPN video...etc'. :omg: I showed it to the wife who commented 'what a moron, he means a zip drive!'. :wtf: :~ I tried my best not to laugh, or correct her. :rolleyes: but I couldn't help myself. Other commonly misused terms and what they actually mean to say: 0: upload - download, copy, import, export 1: file - folder (or the other way around) 2: database - any kind of file, but usually not a database 3: memory - hard drive space (or again, the other way around) What are some of the funnier misuses of IT related terms you have heard?
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
User: It doesn't work! Me: What doesn't work? User: The button! Me: Which button what happens when you click it? User: The button on the page! Nothing happens I just get an error! Me: What does the error say? tell you to do? Then total radio silence on the subject.
