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Developers' Curses

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  • L Lost User

    May your pointers always be null May your ints always overflow May your floats always be imprescise May your strings never be terminated May your queries never be valid May your regexes never find matches May your markup never be parseable May your files always be inaccessible May your code have a thousand warnings I'm sure you folks can come up with much better ones. Try reversing them if you are in a good mood today. (May your strings always be terminated, etc)

    Mike HankeyM Offline
    Mike HankeyM Offline
    Mike Hankey
    wrote on last edited by
    #4

    So this like a typical Monday for most developers?

    Along with Antimatter and Dark Matter they've discovered the existence of Doesn't Matter which appears to have no effect on the universe whatsoever! Rich Tennant 5th Wave

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    • L Lost User

      S u n s h i n e wrote:

      I'm sure you folks can come up with much better ones.

      On Error Resume. ..always a curse.

      Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]

      L Offline
      L Offline
      Lost User
      wrote on last edited by
      #5

      Shouldn't that be resume next? And yes, it definitely is.

      OriginalGriffO L 2 Replies Last reply
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      • L Lost User

        May your pointers always be null May your ints always overflow May your floats always be imprescise May your strings never be terminated May your queries never be valid May your regexes never find matches May your markup never be parseable May your files always be inaccessible May your code have a thousand warnings I'm sure you folks can come up with much better ones. Try reversing them if you are in a good mood today. (May your strings always be terminated, etc)

        J Offline
        J Offline
        Johnny J
        wrote on last edited by
        #6

        You're really a sunshine! :doh:

        Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
        Anonymous
        -----
        The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
        Winston Churchill, 1944
        -----
        I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
        Me, all the time

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        • L Lost User

          May your pointers always be null May your ints always overflow May your floats always be imprescise May your strings never be terminated May your queries never be valid May your regexes never find matches May your markup never be parseable May your files always be inaccessible May your code have a thousand warnings I'm sure you folks can come up with much better ones. Try reversing them if you are in a good mood today. (May your strings always be terminated, etc)

          C Offline
          C Offline
          CPallini
          wrote on last edited by
          #7

          S u n s h i n e wrote:

          May your floats always be imprescise

          Impresciosion propagates... ;P

          Veni, vidi, vici.

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          • L Lost User

            May your pointers always be null May your ints always overflow May your floats always be imprescise May your strings never be terminated May your queries never be valid May your regexes never find matches May your markup never be parseable May your files always be inaccessible May your code have a thousand warnings I'm sure you folks can come up with much better ones. Try reversing them if you are in a good mood today. (May your strings always be terminated, etc)

            M Offline
            M Offline
            Marc Clifton
            wrote on last edited by
            #8

            Trying for something more interesting than just "may your iteration be infinite", I offer... May your iteration fractalize as you recurse into the infinite depths of hell! Marc

            C 1 Reply Last reply
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            • M Marc Clifton

              Trying for something more interesting than just "may your iteration be infinite", I offer... May your iteration fractalize as you recurse into the infinite depths of hell! Marc

              C Offline
              C Offline
              crocks256
              wrote on last edited by
              #9

              try { // do every single part of the program inside here } catch (Exception err) { // Lets pretend nothing happened and all is well and brush any error under the carpet }

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              • L Lost User

                Shouldn't that be resume next? And yes, it definitely is.

                OriginalGriffO Offline
                OriginalGriffO Offline
                OriginalGriff
                wrote on last edited by
                #10

                S u n s h i n e wrote:

                Shouldn't that be resume next?

                NO it elephanting well shouldn't! Bloke who came up with that stupid idea should be taken out, CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED REDACTED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED with a large melon. Twice.

                Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

                "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                G P 2 Replies Last reply
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                • V V 0

                  V is a blessing. VB is a curse ;P

                  V.
                  (MQOTD rules and previous solutions)

                  G Offline
                  G Offline
                  glennPattonWork3
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #11

                  Too Flaming Elephanting True. :-\

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                    S u n s h i n e wrote:

                    Shouldn't that be resume next?

                    NO it elephanting well shouldn't! Bloke who came up with that stupid idea should be taken out, CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED REDACTED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED with a large melon. Twice.

                    Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

                    G Offline
                    G Offline
                    glennPattonWork3
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #12

                    Knowing my VB feelings I agree!! You missed a few Sunshines & Elephants but on the whole I agree :)

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                    • L Lost User

                      May your pointers always be null May your ints always overflow May your floats always be imprescise May your strings never be terminated May your queries never be valid May your regexes never find matches May your markup never be parseable May your files always be inaccessible May your code have a thousand warnings I'm sure you folks can come up with much better ones. Try reversing them if you are in a good mood today. (May your strings always be terminated, etc)

                      P Offline
                      P Offline
                      PIEBALDconsult
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #13

                      May there always be P in your CPU. May you be required to use an interesting language. May you never develop a virus.

                      You'll never get very far if all you do is follow instructions.

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                      • L Lost User

                        S u n s h i n e wrote:

                        I'm sure you folks can come up with much better ones.

                        On Error Resume. ..always a curse.

                        Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]

                        R Offline
                        R Offline
                        Rage
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #14

                        You should be an Aurror.

                        ~RaGE();

                        I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus Entropy isn't what it used to.

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                        • L Lost User

                          May your pointers always be null May your ints always overflow May your floats always be imprescise May your strings never be terminated May your queries never be valid May your regexes never find matches May your markup never be parseable May your files always be inaccessible May your code have a thousand warnings I'm sure you folks can come up with much better ones. Try reversing them if you are in a good mood today. (May your strings always be terminated, etc)

                          realJSOPR Offline
                          realJSOPR Offline
                          realJSOP
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #15

                          May you be forced to code in VB.

                          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                          -----
                          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                          -----
                          When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                          L 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • realJSOPR realJSOP

                            May you be forced to code in VB.

                            ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                            -----
                            You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                            -----
                            When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

                            L Offline
                            L Offline
                            Lost User
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #16

                            +5 +6

                            Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • L Lost User

                              Shouldn't that be resume next? And yes, it definitely is.

                              L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Lost User
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #17

                              No. It should be "On Error Goto MyErrorHandler", where the unexpected error should be logged and the application should exit, since it is in an uncertain state and hence should not be doing any further writes on existing data to prevent it from potentially being destroyed.

                              Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • L Lost User

                                May your pointers always be null May your ints always overflow May your floats always be imprescise May your strings never be terminated May your queries never be valid May your regexes never find matches May your markup never be parseable May your files always be inaccessible May your code have a thousand warnings I'm sure you folks can come up with much better ones. Try reversing them if you are in a good mood today. (May your strings always be terminated, etc)

                                D Offline
                                D Offline
                                dexterama
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #18

                                May an erroneous hard return separate your DELETE statement from its WHERE clause.

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • L Lost User

                                  May your pointers always be null May your ints always overflow May your floats always be imprescise May your strings never be terminated May your queries never be valid May your regexes never find matches May your markup never be parseable May your files always be inaccessible May your code have a thousand warnings I'm sure you folks can come up with much better ones. Try reversing them if you are in a good mood today. (May your strings always be terminated, etc)

                                  D Offline
                                  D Offline
                                  dandy72
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #19

                                  I'm not the only one who heard Bob Dylan singing this, right? ("Forever Young"...look it up)

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                                    S u n s h i n e wrote:

                                    Shouldn't that be resume next?

                                    NO it elephanting well shouldn't! Bloke who came up with that stupid idea should be taken out, CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED REDACTED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED REDACTED REDACTED CENSORED CENSORED with a large melon. Twice.

                                    Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

                                    P Offline
                                    P Offline
                                    Peter_in_2780
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #20

                                    Nooo! Not a melon. A pineapple! Cheers, Peter

                                    Software rusts. Simon Stephenson, ca 1994. So does this signature. me, 2012

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