10600 lines
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10600 lines of PHP. Not a single class. Just a single endless function. Countless parameters provide the only noticable structure:
if(isset($somemeaninglessvariable))
{
// lots of spaghetti code
}
if(isset($someothermeaninglessvariable))
{
// more spaghetti
}The purpose of that thing: To provide the data access and something like application logic for an entire web application. The last line:
return $result;
I don't want to know what happens if somebody would try to break this up into separate functions, not expecting the dependencies inside this little monstrosity.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?" "You mean like from space?" "No, from Canada."- Copy it all onto a floppy. 2) Attach plastic fangs. 3) Use as a Frisbee. Et voilà! Your very own Flying Spaghetti Monster!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt -
- Copy it all onto a floppy. 2) Attach plastic fangs. 3) Use as a Frisbee. Et voilà! Your very own Flying Spaghetti Monster!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
The FSM is a lie! All hail Jibbers Crabst[^]! :-D
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined." - Homer
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That's what they all say, until one day a minor change lets the whole thing collapse.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?" "You mean like from space?" "No, from Canada." -
That's what they all say, until one day a minor change lets the whole thing collapse.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?" "You mean like from space?" "No, from Canada." -
10600 lines of PHP. Not a single class. Just a single endless function. Countless parameters provide the only noticable structure:
if(isset($somemeaninglessvariable))
{
// lots of spaghetti code
}
if(isset($someothermeaninglessvariable))
{
// more spaghetti
}The purpose of that thing: To provide the data access and something like application logic for an entire web application. The last line:
return $result;
I don't want to know what happens if somebody would try to break this up into separate functions, not expecting the dependencies inside this little monstrosity.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?" "You mean like from space?" "No, from Canada."Kill it! Kill it with fire!
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? --- The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
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Kill it! Kill it with fire!
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? --- The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
-
Kill it! Kill it with fire!
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? --- The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
Gladly, but I actually had to revive it a second time today. Being an interpreter, PHP does not know it's dead until it stumbles over an error in the code. And then this particular work of art simply died without any error message or anything. And then go ahead and find the little typo.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?" "You mean like from space?" "No, from Canada." -
Very true, but this older application is in line to be replaced by a completely new one. First big thing in the coming year.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?" "You mean like from space?" "No, from Canada." -
Gladly, but I actually had to revive it a second time today. Being an interpreter, PHP does not know it's dead until it stumbles over an error in the code. And then this particular work of art simply died without any error message or anything. And then go ahead and find the little typo.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?" "You mean like from space?" "No, from Canada.":cringe:
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? --- The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
-
10600 lines of PHP. Not a single class. Just a single endless function. Countless parameters provide the only noticable structure:
if(isset($somemeaninglessvariable))
{
// lots of spaghetti code
}
if(isset($someothermeaninglessvariable))
{
// more spaghetti
}The purpose of that thing: To provide the data access and something like application logic for an entire web application. The last line:
return $result;
I don't want to know what happens if somebody would try to break this up into separate functions, not expecting the dependencies inside this little monstrosity.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?" "You mean like from space?" "No, from Canada."If it works then you have a spec, better than a beer coaster. You probably don't want to know the details of how such a dev achieved a result, just reverse engineer it!
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH
-
Very true, but this older application is in line to be replaced by a completely new one. First big thing in the coming year.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?" "You mean like from space?" "No, from Canada."Well... Good luck in figuring out what it currently does :laugh:
