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Bank feedback fail

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  • P PhilLenoir

    Chris, you know what the cockney rhyming slang "Barclay's" means?

    Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

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    Chris Maunder
    wrote on last edited by
    #44

    Barclay's Bank. Yeah.

    cheers Chris Maunder

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    • C Chris Maunder

      Barclay's Bank. Yeah.

      cheers Chris Maunder

      P Offline
      P Offline
      PhilLenoir
      wrote on last edited by
      #45

      Actually "Barclay's Banker" - the second word is the rhyming key and is normally dropped e.g., Butcher's [Hook] = "look", Ruby [Murray] = "curry". I'll leave you to work out the translation, otherwise we'll need to move this to SB! :)

      Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

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      • P PhilLenoir

        Actually "Barclay's Banker" - the second word is the rhyming key and is normally dropped e.g., Butcher's [Hook] = "look", Ruby [Murray] = "curry". I'll leave you to work out the translation, otherwise we'll need to move this to SB! :)

        Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

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        C Offline
        Chris Maunder
        wrote on last edited by
        #46

        Mate, I'm Australian. I get it ;)

        cheers Chris Maunder

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        • C Chris Maunder

          Mate, I'm Australian. I get it ;)

          cheers Chris Maunder

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          PhilLenoir
          wrote on last edited by
          #47

          I knew that. I also believe that you Aussies have your own rhyming slang following a similar model (isn't Oscar [Asche], cash)? Sorry, I didn't mean to teach granny how to suck eggs, but I wasn't 100% certain if you knew the translated term (as Canucks generally don't!) :)

          Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

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          • P PhilLenoir

            I knew that. I also believe that you Aussies have your own rhyming slang following a similar model (isn't Oscar [Asche], cash)? Sorry, I didn't mean to teach granny how to suck eggs, but I wasn't 100% certain if you knew the translated term (as Canucks generally don't!) :)

            Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

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            Chris Maunder
            wrote on last edited by
            #48

            I've been here 14 years and I still don't know how to say "eh" properly. eh.

            cheers Chris Maunder

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            • N Nagy Vilmos

              Dear0Sir0I0would0like0to0express0my0total0hatred0for0all0that0you0stand0for0but0your0page0is0wonkey666 By the way what in the name of festering Vegemite sammichs is alphabets and numbers? Whatever wrote that should be tarred and feathered. Publicly.

              veni bibi saltavi

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              Mycroft Holmes
              wrote on last edited by
              #49

              Nagy Vilmos wrote:

              Whatever wrote that should be tarred and feathered

              I think you are assuming a native English speaker, the whole thing would have been outsourced to some 3rd world country where English is a passing fantasy.

              Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH

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              • C Chris Maunder

                My understanding is they take my money, invest it poorly, charge me for putting the money in, taking the money out, looking at my money, looking at the statements that set out what they've done with my money, and also charge me when I don't put enough money in. Was there something I missed? An extra service I should sign up for so I can give them more money?

                cheers Chris Maunder

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                Mycroft Holmes
                wrote on last edited by
                #50

                Chris Maunder wrote:

                An extra service I should sign up for so I can give them more money

                Oh sure, you could be a total idiot and ask them for financial advice! I tried that once, purely for amusement purposes, some teenager then tried to sell me every insurance product in their portfolio, he was almost in tears when we left without committing to anything.

                Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH

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                • C Chris Maunder

                  I bank with a very, very well known bank whom I won't name. They are awful, but for complicated reasons I'm stuck with them for the moment. They offered me a "We'd love your feedback" page, which was a mistake on their part. Or so I thought. I filled in quite a detailed rant about the issues with their site, from security to basic speed and performance. I went to hit "submit" and it popped up a message saying "Only alphabets and numbers please". Alphabets and numbers. Right. No full-stop/periods, no commas, no question marks or apostrophes. I couldn't even put a newline in the text box. My mind boggles. These guys are managing my money. Seriously scary.

                  cheers Chris Maunder

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                  L Offline
                  Lost User
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #51

                  Chris Maunder wrote:

                  I bank with a very, very well known bank whom I won't name.

                  In Australia or Canadia?

                  Michael Martin Australia "I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible." - Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004

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                  • C Chris Maunder

                    This is an Australian bank.

                    cheers Chris Maunder

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                    Lost User
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #52

                    Chris Maunder wrote:

                    This is an Australian bank.

                    So CommBank it is.

                    Michael Martin Australia "I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible." - Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • L Lost User

                      Chris Maunder wrote:

                      I bank with a very, very well known bank whom I won't name.

                      In Australia or Canadia?

                      Michael Martin Australia "I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible." - Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004

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                      Chris Maunder
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #53

                      Straya

                      cheers Chris Maunder

                      V 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • M Mycroft Holmes

                        Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                        Whatever wrote that should be tarred and feathered

                        I think you are assuming a native English speaker, the whole thing would have been outsourced to some 3rd world country where English is a passing fantasy.

                        Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH

                        D Offline
                        D Offline
                        Daniel Pfeffer
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #54

                        Mycroft Holmes wrote:

                        I think you are assuming a native English speaker, the whole thing would have been outsourced to some 3rd world country where English is a passing fantasy.

                        In that case, the acceptance testers should be hung, drawn, and quarteredtarred, feathered, and run out of town on a rail.

                        If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack. --Winston Churchill

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                        • D Daniel Pfeffer

                          Mycroft Holmes wrote:

                          I think you are assuming a native English speaker, the whole thing would have been outsourced to some 3rd world country where English is a passing fantasy.

                          In that case, the acceptance testers should be hung, drawn, and quarteredtarred, feathered, and run out of town on a rail.

                          If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack. --Winston Churchill

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                          M Offline
                          Mycroft Holmes
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #55

                          Daniel Pfeffer wrote:

                          the acceptance testers

                          Outsourced! Or they have reduced the size of the testing team until they are non existent. Honestly some of the crap I have seen get through is very dismaying.

                          Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH

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                          • C Chris Maunder

                            I bank with a very, very well known bank whom I won't name. They are awful, but for complicated reasons I'm stuck with them for the moment. They offered me a "We'd love your feedback" page, which was a mistake on their part. Or so I thought. I filled in quite a detailed rant about the issues with their site, from security to basic speed and performance. I went to hit "submit" and it popped up a message saying "Only alphabets and numbers please". Alphabets and numbers. Right. No full-stop/periods, no commas, no question marks or apostrophes. I couldn't even put a newline in the text box. My mind boggles. These guys are managing my money. Seriously scary.

                            cheers Chris Maunder

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                            G Offline
                            greldak
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #56

                            As they require alphabets - plural you could always reply cycling through Roman, Greek, Cyrillic and for the numbers Ascii, ebcdic and unicode encodings for the punctuation. :laugh: Of course strictly speaking you should include the complete alphabet in each case. :doh:

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • C Chris Maunder

                              This is an Australian bank.

                              cheers Chris Maunder

                              X Offline
                              X Offline
                              xiecsuk
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #57

                              That explains everything. Having visited Australia many times to see my grandkids, I have learnt that, because of their total isolation at the bottom of the world, they're still struggling to catch up with the rest of the world. And based on my dealings with my Kiwi son-in-law, it would appear that New Zealand is probably even worse.

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                              0
                              • C Chris Maunder

                                I bank with a very, very well known bank whom I won't name. They are awful, but for complicated reasons I'm stuck with them for the moment. They offered me a "We'd love your feedback" page, which was a mistake on their part. Or so I thought. I filled in quite a detailed rant about the issues with their site, from security to basic speed and performance. I went to hit "submit" and it popped up a message saying "Only alphabets and numbers please". Alphabets and numbers. Right. No full-stop/periods, no commas, no question marks or apostrophes. I couldn't even put a newline in the text box. My mind boggles. These guys are managing my money. Seriously scary.

                                cheers Chris Maunder

                                S Offline
                                S Offline
                                Simon ORiordan from UK
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #58

                                Here in the UK we don't tolerate that kind of crap. Sometimes the back-end falls over, but the customer-facing side is licketty-spit. But seriously, my Blackberry Z10 has an app from my bank which is a joy to use. Presumably reasonably secure as well. I can see all my dineros in big font detail that fits the phone screen perfectly. :)

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                                • X xiecsuk

                                  That explains everything. Having visited Australia many times to see my grandkids, I have learnt that, because of their total isolation at the bottom of the world, they're still struggling to catch up with the rest of the world. And based on my dealings with my Kiwi son-in-law, it would appear that New Zealand is probably even worse.

                                  S Offline
                                  S Offline
                                  Shane Blank
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #59

                                  World Banks tend to use New Zealand as a test ground for services so is often messed with a lot

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • D Daniel Pfeffer

                                    Mycroft Holmes wrote:

                                    I think you are assuming a native English speaker, the whole thing would have been outsourced to some 3rd world country where English is a passing fantasy.

                                    In that case, the acceptance testers should be hung, drawn, and quarteredtarred, feathered, and run out of town on a rail.

                                    If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack. --Winston Churchill

                                    9 Offline
                                    9 Offline
                                    9082365
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #60

                                    hanged! Meat is hung, criminals are hanged!

                                    D 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • C Chris Maunder

                                      My understanding is they take my money, invest it poorly, charge me for putting the money in, taking the money out, looking at my money, looking at the statements that set out what they've done with my money, and also charge me when I don't put enough money in. Was there something I missed? An extra service I should sign up for so I can give them more money?

                                      cheers Chris Maunder

                                      9 Offline
                                      9 Offline
                                      9082365
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #61

                                      I've got a very sturdy mattress you can hide it under for nothing! Well nothing plus a little commission, obviously!

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • C Chris Maunder

                                        Straya

                                        cheers Chris Maunder

                                        V Offline
                                        V Offline
                                        VE2
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #62

                                        Many online forms ask for a 10 digit telephone number. Some insist on no spaces, others require spaces, still others require a dash and some want the area code in brackets. Is it that difficult to write code that accepts any reasonable style?

                                        73

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • C Chris Maunder

                                          I bank with a very, very well known bank whom I won't name. They are awful, but for complicated reasons I'm stuck with them for the moment. They offered me a "We'd love your feedback" page, which was a mistake on their part. Or so I thought. I filled in quite a detailed rant about the issues with their site, from security to basic speed and performance. I went to hit "submit" and it popped up a message saying "Only alphabets and numbers please". Alphabets and numbers. Right. No full-stop/periods, no commas, no question marks or apostrophes. I couldn't even put a newline in the text box. My mind boggles. These guys are managing my money. Seriously scary.

                                          cheers Chris Maunder

                                          K Offline
                                          K Offline
                                          Kirk 10389821
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #63

                                          By Chance was the Caption for the Submit button one of these: - Circular File - Pump and Dump - Send and Forget - Register as an Offender - Ask about our amazing 0.00001003% APR

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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