The Mrs is coming home...
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Mrs Andy_L_J is coming home tomorrow after two weeks in New Zealand. I have sat on the couch, drank beer, watched cricket and eaten at the pub most days. No housework has been attempted, except my work clothes were washed and dried. I know I am in for a Sh*t storm when she gets home so does anyone have any suggestions (other than being Brahms and List when she arrives) that might ensure the continued existence of moi?
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly "I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!" Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
Do you have a nuclear shelter? Fill up the supplies, lock the door from the inside and don't come out until you run out of food or water. And don't forget to measure the radioactivity before opening the door.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?" "You mean like from space?" "No, from Canada." -
Mrs Andy_L_J is coming home tomorrow after two weeks in New Zealand. I have sat on the couch, drank beer, watched cricket and eaten at the pub most days. No housework has been attempted, except my work clothes were washed and dried. I know I am in for a Sh*t storm when she gets home so does anyone have any suggestions (other than being Brahms and List when she arrives) that might ensure the continued existence of moi?
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly "I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!" Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
Cant you get some cheap immigrant to give the place a tidy up?
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Cant you get some cheap immigrant to give the place a tidy up?
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Do you have a nuclear shelter? Fill up the supplies, lock the door from the inside and don't come out until you run out of food or water. And don't forget to measure the radioactivity before opening the door.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?" "You mean like from space?" "No, from Canada." -
Like your thinking Matt, however the "house-keeper" is attending other duties...
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly "I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!" Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
Surely you can let her get to her feet for a few hours?
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Insurance job eh? I might like that. Sympathy is not in her DNA however... Neither sentimentality. :-D
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly "I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!" Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
Andy_L_J wrote:
is not in her DNA however...
You make it sound as if having double X chromosomes is some kind of genetic anomaly. That would really explain a lot.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?" "You mean like from space?" "No, from Canada." -
Andy_L_J wrote:
is not in her DNA however...
You make it sound as if having double X chromosomes is some kind of genetic anomaly. That would really explain a lot.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?" "You mean like from space?" "No, from Canada." -
Mrs Andy_L_J is coming home tomorrow after two weeks in New Zealand. I have sat on the couch, drank beer, watched cricket and eaten at the pub most days. No housework has been attempted, except my work clothes were washed and dried. I know I am in for a Sh*t storm when she gets home so does anyone have any suggestions (other than being Brahms and List when she arrives) that might ensure the continued existence of moi?
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly "I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!" Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
You should tell her you invited your girlfriend who is a little messy to come over and stay with you, and that you were in middle of teaching her (the girlfriend) how to keep the house neat and clean. She (the girlfriend) has just started to pick those things up but she couldn't finish as she (the wife) was back. You should then politely request her (the wife) to spend a few more days away while she (the girlfriend) can finish with the learning, so next time when she (the wife) returns from vacation, she (the wife) won't find the house messed up. :rolleyes:
Your time will come, if you let it be right.
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Mrs Andy_L_J is coming home tomorrow after two weeks in New Zealand. I have sat on the couch, drank beer, watched cricket and eaten at the pub most days. No housework has been attempted, except my work clothes were washed and dried. I know I am in for a Sh*t storm when she gets home so does anyone have any suggestions (other than being Brahms and List when she arrives) that might ensure the continued existence of moi?
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly "I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!" Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
Call a cleaning company: offer them / him / her significant cash to have it ready by tonight.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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You should tell her you invited your girlfriend who is a little messy to come over and stay with you, and that you were in middle of teaching her (the girlfriend) how to keep the house neat and clean. She (the girlfriend) has just started to pick those things up but she couldn't finish as she (the wife) was back. You should then politely request her (the wife) to spend a few more days away while she (the girlfriend) can finish with the learning, so next time when she (the wife) returns from vacation, she (the wife) won't find the house messed up. :rolleyes:
Your time will come, if you let it be right.
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Call a cleaning company: offer them / him / her significant cash to have it ready by tonight.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Mrs Andy_L_J is coming home tomorrow after two weeks in New Zealand. I have sat on the couch, drank beer, watched cricket and eaten at the pub most days. No housework has been attempted, except my work clothes were washed and dried. I know I am in for a Sh*t storm when she gets home so does anyone have any suggestions (other than being Brahms and List when she arrives) that might ensure the continued existence of moi?
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly "I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!" Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
Andy_L_J wrote:
I know I am in for a Sh*t storm
Buy more toilet paper.
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Mrs Andy_L_J is coming home tomorrow after two weeks in New Zealand. I have sat on the couch, drank beer, watched cricket and eaten at the pub most days. No housework has been attempted, except my work clothes were washed and dried. I know I am in for a Sh*t storm when she gets home so does anyone have any suggestions (other than being Brahms and List when she arrives) that might ensure the continued existence of moi?
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly "I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!" Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
Don't you have a big carpet somewhere? If you don't have that... you are doomed[^]...
[www.tamautomation.com] | Robots, CNC and PLC machines for grinding and polishing. [YouTube channel]
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Mrs Andy_L_J is coming home tomorrow after two weeks in New Zealand. I have sat on the couch, drank beer, watched cricket and eaten at the pub most days. No housework has been attempted, except my work clothes were washed and dried. I know I am in for a Sh*t storm when she gets home so does anyone have any suggestions (other than being Brahms and List when she arrives) that might ensure the continued existence of moi?
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly "I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!" Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
I would attempt to fake amnesia.. then when she enters scream at her who are you and why are you here etc..
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence EAT BACON
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I would attempt to fake amnesia.. then when she enters scream at her who are you and why are you here etc..
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence EAT BACON
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Don't you have a big carpet somewhere? If you don't have that... you are doomed[^]...
[www.tamautomation.com] | Robots, CNC and PLC machines for grinding and polishing. [YouTube channel]
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Mrs Andy_L_J is coming home tomorrow after two weeks in New Zealand. I have sat on the couch, drank beer, watched cricket and eaten at the pub most days. No housework has been attempted, except my work clothes were washed and dried. I know I am in for a Sh*t storm when she gets home so does anyone have any suggestions (other than being Brahms and List when she arrives) that might ensure the continued existence of moi?
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly "I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!" Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
Get all her friends to come to the house to greet her, then blame them for the mess, after they've left.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Get all her friends to come to the house to greet her, then blame them for the mess, after they've left.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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That is dead set genius!
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly "I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!" Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
That might not be a good explanation for the rumpled sheets in the bedroom... :)
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack. --Winston Churchill
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Mrs Andy_L_J is coming home tomorrow after two weeks in New Zealand. I have sat on the couch, drank beer, watched cricket and eaten at the pub most days. No housework has been attempted, except my work clothes were washed and dried. I know I am in for a Sh*t storm when she gets home so does anyone have any suggestions (other than being Brahms and List when she arrives) that might ensure the continued existence of moi?
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly "I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!" Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
Sounds like Entwhistle's "My Wife" is going to become "your song"! (Who's Next, side 1, track 4).
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
