Can you have too much confidence?
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If multiple people tell you the same thing then that is often a sign that they might be right. Granted it could just be a reflection on both managers and their management style, but if it's something that concerns you maybe ask for specific examples from your manager. We do sometimes come across as different from how we think we are.
I beg to differ. When many people say the same thing, that does not necessarily make it true. In most cases, it's a crowd mentality.
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I beg to differ. When many people say the same thing, that does not necessarily make it true. In most cases, it's a crowd mentality.
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I beg to differ. When many people say the same thing, that does not necessarily make it true. In most cases, it's a crowd mentality.
Agreed, I simply said it meant there was a possibility that they were right. If one person says something it is easy to shrug off, if multiple people say it independently then that is an indicator that they might be right.
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If multiple people tell you the same thing then that is often a sign that they might be right. Granted it could just be a reflection on both managers and their management style, but if it's something that concerns you maybe ask for specific examples from your manager. We do sometimes come across as different from how we think we are.
F-ES Sitecore wrote:
If multiple people tell you the same thing then that is often a sign that they might be right.
I'll grant you that. I fail to understand why confidence in yourself is a problem. I can see it if I fail at everything I do, or even sometimes, but I always deliver working solutions. At my previous place of employment I saw it as a bit of envy. My manager was very insecure (and incompetent) and I think she feared I wanted her job. I did not, I figured I had my own career path and it did not involve going through her. My current place, I have a very good working relationship with my manager, we get where each other is coming from and we have the same desire to produce solid code. We have to, we're in the financial industry and people have a tendency to freak over the possibility that there could be bugs in the code that handles money. Possibly he is just relating what he has heard from his management and/or he wants to deter me from being complacent about the level of code I produce.
Psychosis at 10 Film at 11 Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
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F-ES Sitecore wrote:
If multiple people tell you the same thing then that is often a sign that they might be right.
I'll grant you that. I fail to understand why confidence in yourself is a problem. I can see it if I fail at everything I do, or even sometimes, but I always deliver working solutions. At my previous place of employment I saw it as a bit of envy. My manager was very insecure (and incompetent) and I think she feared I wanted her job. I did not, I figured I had my own career path and it did not involve going through her. My current place, I have a very good working relationship with my manager, we get where each other is coming from and we have the same desire to produce solid code. We have to, we're in the financial industry and people have a tendency to freak over the possibility that there could be bugs in the code that handles money. Possibly he is just relating what he has heard from his management and/or he wants to deter me from being complacent about the level of code I produce.
Psychosis at 10 Film at 11 Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
There is nothing wrong with confidence unless it is misplaced, so maybe that is their concern. Maybe confidence is a euphemism for something else, that's why asking for examples might clear things up. It could well be that he is just used to people over-promising and under-delivering, and if you're more competent than the people he has normally worked with he might be mistaking your belief in your abilities as over-confidence. It could be that he doesn't mind your confidence, but finds the way you express it to be annoying. It's hard to tell what people really mean when they say these things as it's a "delicate" subject.
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Once, in the approach to going live with a project that had been a couple of years in the making, I was told that the senior management were very concerned about my bit because I didn't look worried enough when everyone else was on the verge of freaking out. Some people do, I think, have a greater confidence in themselves than their abilities can support, obviously I cannot comment on your good self. There was some discussion in the lounge recently, along the lines of if you think you know everything then you definitely don't, and that people go through stages as they get better at their jobs from thinking the know nothing whilst knowing nothing, to thinking they know everything whilst still knowing little, to thinking they know nothing whilst knowing most things. Or something like that. Some people just come across as smug wankers; it's not what you say, but how you say it.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
chriselst wrote:
Some people do, I think, have a greater confidence in themselves than their abilities can support, obviously I cannot comment on your good self.
I understand that. I'm a good programmer, but I've worked with better, so I don't think I'm God's Gift to Programming. I try to do a good job and help others to do the same. I'm not a prima donna like some of the jerks I've worked with. I just want to be known for producing solid code. Now, I do tend to see solutions other don't. There have been several places I've worked where I was able to radically simplify the work being done. As an example, I took what was an all hands on deck, rush to get things done on time, and turned it into a sedate, one person task by introducing a single, simple, change to the process. But I also have a normally unwanted talent that stumbles into bugs in software. I've had many managers ask why was it only me that could crash programs everyone else used without a problem. I don't know how I do it, but early in my career I cracked the security on a timesharing system by accident. I'm going to repeat that, I did it totally by accident, it had not been my intent. We had actually tried to do it months earlier and failed and I was working on something totally unrelated (to my mind) when I managed to do it.
chriselst wrote:
Once, in the approach to going live with a project that had been a couple of years in the making, I was told that the senior management were very concerned about my bit because I didn't look worried enough when everyone else was on the verge of freaking out.
I can relate to that. I used to do industrial controls and bringing up a system was always a stressful time for everyone around me. I always attributed it to the fact that I was the major architect/coder of the systems and since the software was invisible to everyone but me, it was all a matter of their trust in me. I had a wonderful manager at that time that treated the programmers as adults and and always tried to support us in anything we did. His support was getting us what we needed or diverting clients attentions so we could work undistracted. I really miss him.
Psychosis at 10 Film at 11 Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
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If multiple people tell you the same thing then that is often a sign that they might be right. Granted it could just be a reflection on both managers and their management style, but if it's something that concerns you maybe ask for specific examples from your manager. We do sometimes come across as different from how we think we are.
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I've worked with "stress" managers in the past who equate how stressed\worried you appear in relation to them with understanding of the project deadlines. The type of managers who need you to be as stressed as they are when deadlines are looming to show you understand that the deadline is there. When you look at things how they really are....ie I'm going to do everything in my professional ability to meet this deadline, but if we don't hit the deadline then no-one is going to die - they can't stand that. Because they are a raging bundle of stress and anxiety they think that if the team under them aren't the same then there is "something wrong".
F-ES Sitecore wrote:
Because they are a raging bundle of stress and anxiety they think that if the team under them aren't the same then there is "something wrong".
I worked under one manager who was like that. She thought the performance of the team was a direct reflection on her and she was an insecure control freak. Incompetent to boot. She was a classic example of promotion to get her out of the way, but she did have the talent of being good at cracking the whip, which was why she was promoted up and not out. The team and I have hours of horror stories.
Psychosis at 10 Film at 11 Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
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This is the second place I've worked that my manager has complained that I have too much confidence. I don't know how to react, respond, or feel about that. When it comes to projects I never suggest anything I don't feel I can accomplish. I have never failed to deliver on my promises. I don't think I'm arrogant about it, I just state what I can do. I've worked places where management felt they had to rule through fear and intimidation, which does not work for me. Even in the most stressful situations, I seem to have this mental switch that clicks and makes me re-evaluate what is causing the stress and suddenly it is gone. I guess what I'm asking, has any one else had that happen to them? To be told they are too confident as though it's a bad thing?
Psychosis at 10 Film at 11 Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
BrainiacV wrote:
I don't think I'm arrogant about it, I just state what I can do
What a show off, you must have too much confidence to state things like that. Ok, I am already out. :-D
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BrainiacV wrote:
I don't think I'm arrogant about it, I just state what I can do
What a show off, you must have too much confidence to state things like that. Ok, I am already out. :-D
Rage wrote:
What a show off, you must have too much confidence to state things like that.
Thank you for my morning smile. Yeah, I'm one arrogant SOB to think I can do what I say I can. :-D :-D :-D That may be my problem, unlike others, I limit myself to my capabilities instead of claiming to be able to do what I cannot. I've seen others boast of abilities they did not have. Maybe everyone thinks I'm doing the same. Unfortunately my abilities are usually beyond their skills. Oh gosh, that does sound arrogant. :laugh:
Psychosis at 10 Film at 11 Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.