town home property encroachment
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Anyone that knows me, may be aware that at times, I may or may not have a not-so-rational hot temper. I'd like to think it's because I am wise and mature and all-knowing, well beyond my years. YMMV Well, yesterday I got hot tempered again with one of my neighbors, and I'd like to see the collective opinion of you guys if y'all think it was justified or not. I currently live in a town home, and my "backyard area" is shared among three units in particular. It's not a big enclosure, but you make do with what you have. Yesterday, the neighbor two units over (and sharing the backyard area) up and decided to put a huge-arse trampoline there that quite literally consumes just about all the available non-porch space in the backyard area for all three units. I wasn't a fan of these people to start with, but after seeing that (and considering this guy didn't even bother to ask the other two of us if that was ok), I pretty much lost it and banged on his door and let him have it. Granted, there's not much I can do after venting that's legal. So, now I'm calling the housing association for the town homes and so forth to get this resolved. So my question to CP is, considering the obvious disrespect for other people when taking up all their space without even asking, do y'all think I was out of line for banging on his door and letting him have it? I don't, but then again I'm not one known for keeping the peace.
Jeremy Falcon
Yes. You should have asked him calmly to move it.
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Anyone that knows me, may be aware that at times, I may or may not have a not-so-rational hot temper. I'd like to think it's because I am wise and mature and all-knowing, well beyond my years. YMMV Well, yesterday I got hot tempered again with one of my neighbors, and I'd like to see the collective opinion of you guys if y'all think it was justified or not. I currently live in a town home, and my "backyard area" is shared among three units in particular. It's not a big enclosure, but you make do with what you have. Yesterday, the neighbor two units over (and sharing the backyard area) up and decided to put a huge-arse trampoline there that quite literally consumes just about all the available non-porch space in the backyard area for all three units. I wasn't a fan of these people to start with, but after seeing that (and considering this guy didn't even bother to ask the other two of us if that was ok), I pretty much lost it and banged on his door and let him have it. Granted, there's not much I can do after venting that's legal. So, now I'm calling the housing association for the town homes and so forth to get this resolved. So my question to CP is, considering the obvious disrespect for other people when taking up all their space without even asking, do y'all think I was out of line for banging on his door and letting him have it? I don't, but then again I'm not one known for keeping the peace.
Jeremy Falcon
Well, I don't know your neighbor and I don't know how often you go into your garden, but personally I'd "knocked" on his door and said something like "That's a nice looking trampoline you've got there... Takes up a little space..." See how he responds, perhaps at this point he already starts apologizing and asking if it's alright or else he'd take it away. If he doesn't perhaps continue like "You know, it wouldn't hurt asking your neighbors if they'd mind such a large trampoline in their garden..." He probably knows he's wrong, you know he's wrong, your other neighbors know he's wrong. Nothing can really justify taking up all of your shared garden space. But now you've gone and made an ass of yourself, shouting and cursing at him. And now you're both wrong :)
Visit my blog at Sander's bits - Writing the code you need. Or read my articles at my CodeProject profile.
Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability. — Edsger W. Dijkstra
Regards, Sander
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Well, I don't know your neighbor and I don't know how often you go into your garden, but personally I'd "knocked" on his door and said something like "That's a nice looking trampoline you've got there... Takes up a little space..." See how he responds, perhaps at this point he already starts apologizing and asking if it's alright or else he'd take it away. If he doesn't perhaps continue like "You know, it wouldn't hurt asking your neighbors if they'd mind such a large trampoline in their garden..." He probably knows he's wrong, you know he's wrong, your other neighbors know he's wrong. Nothing can really justify taking up all of your shared garden space. But now you've gone and made an ass of yourself, shouting and cursing at him. And now you're both wrong :)
Visit my blog at Sander's bits - Writing the code you need. Or read my articles at my CodeProject profile.
Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability. — Edsger W. Dijkstra
Regards, Sander
The problem with that approach is that if it had a chance of working, the neighbour wouldn't have put up the trampoline without asking in the first hand. :sigh:
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
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The problem with that approach is that if it had a chance of working, the neighbour wouldn't have put up the trampoline without asking in the first hand. :sigh:
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
You never know... At least you've tried to solve it friendly. If the neighbor refuses to take away his trampoline at least you're not the jackass for cursing at him. And let's be honest, if someone shouts and curses at you like hell you're going to move your trampoline! You want him to move his trampoline and shouting and cursing is probably the worst approach to try and reach that goal...
Visit my blog at Sander's bits - Writing the code you need. Or read my articles at my CodeProject profile.
Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability. — Edsger W. Dijkstra
Regards, Sander
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P0mpey3 wrote:
he probably has very small kids, like me
Are you saying you're a small kid?
I needed that. :thumbsup:
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P0mpey3 wrote:
he probably has very small kids, like me
Are you saying you're a small kid?
That's definitely how I read it. :laugh:
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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Anyone that knows me, may be aware that at times, I may or may not have a not-so-rational hot temper. I'd like to think it's because I am wise and mature and all-knowing, well beyond my years. YMMV Well, yesterday I got hot tempered again with one of my neighbors, and I'd like to see the collective opinion of you guys if y'all think it was justified or not. I currently live in a town home, and my "backyard area" is shared among three units in particular. It's not a big enclosure, but you make do with what you have. Yesterday, the neighbor two units over (and sharing the backyard area) up and decided to put a huge-arse trampoline there that quite literally consumes just about all the available non-porch space in the backyard area for all three units. I wasn't a fan of these people to start with, but after seeing that (and considering this guy didn't even bother to ask the other two of us if that was ok), I pretty much lost it and banged on his door and let him have it. Granted, there's not much I can do after venting that's legal. So, now I'm calling the housing association for the town homes and so forth to get this resolved. So my question to CP is, considering the obvious disrespect for other people when taking up all their space without even asking, do y'all think I was out of line for banging on his door and letting him have it? I don't, but then again I'm not one known for keeping the peace.
Jeremy Falcon
Too late to undo the shouting and cursing, but as long as you weren't threatening he doesn't have anything he can come after you with. Let's face it you are not going to be invited to his trampoline party or get a christmas card. Doesn't sound like someone who you would probably like to socialize with so there is no loss there. The HOA route is the only way to go. They will probably come over to take a look and tell him to remove it because there has been a complaint.
Once you lose your pride the rest is easy. In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. – Buddha
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If he placed it in communal space, then obviously it's for communal use and I'd be jumping on it. :badger: Wahoo!
For my own future reference, does CP also have a mushroom emoticon to go with the badger?
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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Just tell him that if it accidentally catches fire because it is encroaching on your smoke pit, you won't be held responsible. Also it may be blocking your Archery Range, but not to worry I am sure the arrows will pass harmlessly between anyone bouncing on the trampoline if you get the timing just right. If he can use all the area for a pastime then so can everyone else. BTW: I never yell when I am angry at someone. In fact I do my best to not show my anger at all, I just make my point(s) in a quiet, calm manner. Some people have told me I am scary when I do this - maybe because I am British and all Americans think we are all secretly evil masterminds per Hollywood stereotypes! Obviously, if you are an American this wouldn't work for you so the yelling (not in front of spouse and offspring) is probably the acceptable norm. PS. Casually carrying a gardening implement, such as a hoe, machete or axe can also help make sure they pay attention. Wear gardening gloves to enhance the impression that you were just recently working in the garden and not actually being threatening.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
Forogar wrote:
maybe because I am British and all Americans think we are all secretly evil masterminds per Hollywood stereotypes!
I don't think it's really a secret... :laugh:
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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Just tell him that if it accidentally catches fire because it is encroaching on your smoke pit, you won't be held responsible. Also it may be blocking your Archery Range, but not to worry I am sure the arrows will pass harmlessly between anyone bouncing on the trampoline if you get the timing just right. If he can use all the area for a pastime then so can everyone else. BTW: I never yell when I am angry at someone. In fact I do my best to not show my anger at all, I just make my point(s) in a quiet, calm manner. Some people have told me I am scary when I do this - maybe because I am British and all Americans think we are all secretly evil masterminds per Hollywood stereotypes! Obviously, if you are an American this wouldn't work for you so the yelling (not in front of spouse and offspring) is probably the acceptable norm. PS. Casually carrying a gardening implement, such as a hoe, machete or axe can also help make sure they pay attention. Wear gardening gloves to enhance the impression that you were just recently working in the garden and not actually being threatening.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
Forogar wrote:
BTW: I never yell when I am angry at someone. In fact I do my best to not show my anger at all, I just make my point(s) in a quiet, calm manner. Some people have told me I am scary when I do this - maybe because I am British and all Americans think we are all secretly evil masterminds per Hollywood stereotypes! Obviously, if you are an American this wouldn't work for you so the yelling (not in front of spouse and offspring) is probably the acceptable norm.
:laugh:
Jeremy Falcon
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Well, I don't know your neighbor and I don't know how often you go into your garden, but personally I'd "knocked" on his door and said something like "That's a nice looking trampoline you've got there... Takes up a little space..." See how he responds, perhaps at this point he already starts apologizing and asking if it's alright or else he'd take it away. If he doesn't perhaps continue like "You know, it wouldn't hurt asking your neighbors if they'd mind such a large trampoline in their garden..." He probably knows he's wrong, you know he's wrong, your other neighbors know he's wrong. Nothing can really justify taking up all of your shared garden space. But now you've gone and made an ass of yourself, shouting and cursing at him. And now you're both wrong :)
Visit my blog at Sander's bits - Writing the code you need. Or read my articles at my CodeProject profile.
Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability. — Edsger W. Dijkstra
Regards, Sander
Sander Rossel wrote:
But now you've gone and made an ass of yourself, shouting and cursing at him. And now you're both wrong
I know you're right man. I can't go back in time, but I'm gonna try to handle it the right way now at least.
Jeremy Falcon
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The problem with that approach is that if it had a chance of working, the neighbour wouldn't have put up the trampoline without asking in the first hand. :sigh:
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
Half the reason I got upset is because he wasn't friendly about it at all, and it doesn't take much to get me going it seems. :(
Jeremy Falcon
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Too late to undo the shouting and cursing, but as long as you weren't threatening he doesn't have anything he can come after you with. Let's face it you are not going to be invited to his trampoline party or get a christmas card. Doesn't sound like someone who you would probably like to socialize with so there is no loss there. The HOA route is the only way to go. They will probably come over to take a look and tell him to remove it because there has been a complaint.
Once you lose your pride the rest is easy. In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. – Buddha
JimmyRopes wrote:
The HOA route is the only way to go. They will probably come over to take a look and tell him to remove it because there has been a complaint.
I hope. They don't seem to be terribly efficient in getting back to me, but we shall see.
Jeremy Falcon
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Anyone that knows me, may be aware that at times, I may or may not have a not-so-rational hot temper. I'd like to think it's because I am wise and mature and all-knowing, well beyond my years. YMMV Well, yesterday I got hot tempered again with one of my neighbors, and I'd like to see the collective opinion of you guys if y'all think it was justified or not. I currently live in a town home, and my "backyard area" is shared among three units in particular. It's not a big enclosure, but you make do with what you have. Yesterday, the neighbor two units over (and sharing the backyard area) up and decided to put a huge-arse trampoline there that quite literally consumes just about all the available non-porch space in the backyard area for all three units. I wasn't a fan of these people to start with, but after seeing that (and considering this guy didn't even bother to ask the other two of us if that was ok), I pretty much lost it and banged on his door and let him have it. Granted, there's not much I can do after venting that's legal. So, now I'm calling the housing association for the town homes and so forth to get this resolved. So my question to CP is, considering the obvious disrespect for other people when taking up all their space without even asking, do y'all think I was out of line for banging on his door and letting him have it? I don't, but then again I'm not one known for keeping the peace.
Jeremy Falcon
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Sander Rossel wrote:
But now you've gone and made an ass of yourself, shouting and cursing at him. And now you're both wrong
I know you're right man. I can't go back in time, but I'm gonna try to handle it the right way now at least.
Jeremy Falcon
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
I can't go back in time
Grab a few beers, knock on your neighbors door again tell him you have some anger issues and that you're sorry and if he'd like to join you for a drink! That'll show him (no really, it's what he least expects)! After a few he might just move his trampoline too :D
Visit my blog at Sander's bits - Writing the code you need. Or read my articles at my CodeProject profile.
Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability. — Edsger W. Dijkstra
Regards, Sander
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Jeremy Falcon wrote:
I can't go back in time
Grab a few beers, knock on your neighbors door again tell him you have some anger issues and that you're sorry and if he'd like to join you for a drink! That'll show him (no really, it's what he least expects)! After a few he might just move his trampoline too :D
Visit my blog at Sander's bits - Writing the code you need. Or read my articles at my CodeProject profile.
Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability. — Edsger W. Dijkstra
Regards, Sander
Didn't say I was a coward either. I don't intend to make friends with people like that. I just made a mistake. I don't need to be his friend.
Jeremy Falcon
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Didn't say I was a coward either. I don't intend to make friends with people like that. I just made a mistake. I don't need to be his friend.
Jeremy Falcon
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
Didn't say I was a coward either.
Admitting you were wrong is only for the bravest of the brave :D
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
I don't intend to make friends with people like that.
You don't have to. You're just going to have a friendly talk with him, and a few beers, about his trampoline. You'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar and all that.
Visit my blog at Sander's bits - Writing the code you need. Or read my articles at my CodeProject profile.
Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability. — Edsger W. Dijkstra
Regards, Sander
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Anyone that knows me, may be aware that at times, I may or may not have a not-so-rational hot temper. I'd like to think it's because I am wise and mature and all-knowing, well beyond my years. YMMV Well, yesterday I got hot tempered again with one of my neighbors, and I'd like to see the collective opinion of you guys if y'all think it was justified or not. I currently live in a town home, and my "backyard area" is shared among three units in particular. It's not a big enclosure, but you make do with what you have. Yesterday, the neighbor two units over (and sharing the backyard area) up and decided to put a huge-arse trampoline there that quite literally consumes just about all the available non-porch space in the backyard area for all three units. I wasn't a fan of these people to start with, but after seeing that (and considering this guy didn't even bother to ask the other two of us if that was ok), I pretty much lost it and banged on his door and let him have it. Granted, there's not much I can do after venting that's legal. So, now I'm calling the housing association for the town homes and so forth to get this resolved. So my question to CP is, considering the obvious disrespect for other people when taking up all their space without even asking, do y'all think I was out of line for banging on his door and letting him have it? I don't, but then again I'm not one known for keeping the peace.
Jeremy Falcon
As a father, I wouldn't yell at another father with kids around, unless it was warranted and wouldn't want it done to me. I think you definitely made the correct choice to speak to him man to man, but any hostility on you part may not have been acceptable. Also, if you came knocking on my door and yelled at me, I would close the door in your face. If you pushed the issue I would be arrested for assault and battery, especially if my kids were around. Just saying.
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Anyone that knows me, may be aware that at times, I may or may not have a not-so-rational hot temper. I'd like to think it's because I am wise and mature and all-knowing, well beyond my years. YMMV Well, yesterday I got hot tempered again with one of my neighbors, and I'd like to see the collective opinion of you guys if y'all think it was justified or not. I currently live in a town home, and my "backyard area" is shared among three units in particular. It's not a big enclosure, but you make do with what you have. Yesterday, the neighbor two units over (and sharing the backyard area) up and decided to put a huge-arse trampoline there that quite literally consumes just about all the available non-porch space in the backyard area for all three units. I wasn't a fan of these people to start with, but after seeing that (and considering this guy didn't even bother to ask the other two of us if that was ok), I pretty much lost it and banged on his door and let him have it. Granted, there's not much I can do after venting that's legal. So, now I'm calling the housing association for the town homes and so forth to get this resolved. So my question to CP is, considering the obvious disrespect for other people when taking up all their space without even asking, do y'all think I was out of line for banging on his door and letting him have it? I don't, but then again I'm not one known for keeping the peace.
Jeremy Falcon
IMHO, venting at the offender affords immediate gratification as it offers an outlet for one's anger or annoyance. But it usually makes things worse, not better. You may have gotten a better result by talking to the other neighbor and both of you quietly knocking on the offender's door and requesting him to move or take down the trampoline. The offender may still be a twit in your opinion, but at least a twit who responded to your request to remove the monstrosity from the common area shared with other neighbors. :) /ravi
My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com
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P0mpey3 wrote:
But the fact it's a Trampoline suggests he probably has very small kids, like me. If you had come round my house banging on my door and shouting at me I would probably hit you (as long as your not big and muscly or anything).
You are correct with the assumption of him having kids. Although I didn't see any behind the door when I was around. I'm sure my voice may have carried, but I wouldn't deliberately do that in front of kids. That being said, I still don't think I was in the wrong, having kids or not. I didn't yell in front of the kids or to his wife. It was man to man. He's an adult and he should act like one.
Jeremy Falcon
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
He's an adult and he should act like one.
Ahem... :) /ravi
My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com
