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  3. Why I hate "Friendly"

Why I hate "Friendly"

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  • W W Balboos GHB

    I pictured it more as a mindless custom encouraged by local habits. Mindless, and for those not like-mind-less, inconsiderate on a good day. I don't want to hear the snore or phart, either.

    Ravings en masse^

    "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

    "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

    J Offline
    J Offline
    Jeremy Falcon
    wrote on last edited by
    #27

    Still not clear on if he/she was saying hello to you or not. But, if he/she wasn't saying it to you... then yeah I agree.

    Jeremy Falcon

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • W W Balboos GHB

      Head turned toward me as they walked forward toward their destination person. Head turned away before I could answer - obviously they didn't give a shit about the answer and perhaps didn't even know their lips were flapping and making distracting sounds.

      Ravings en masse^

      "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

      "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

      J Offline
      J Offline
      Jeremy Falcon
      wrote on last edited by
      #28

      Well, assuming he was saying hello to you... this may come as a shock, but not everyone hates the world. :)

      Jeremy Falcon

      W 1 Reply Last reply
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      • J Jeremy Falcon

        Well, assuming he was saying hello to you... this may come as a shock, but not everyone hates the world. :)

        Jeremy Falcon

        W Offline
        W Offline
        W Balboos GHB
        wrote on last edited by
        #29

        Jeremy Falcon wrote:

        this may come as a shock, but not everyone hates the world

        Only the ignorant . . . and the dead. And I hate happy-face emojis, too! Wake up and smell the flowers bus exhaust. Grumble. Grumble. Grumble. Grumble. Grumble. Grumble.

        Ravings en masse^

        "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

        "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

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        • W W Balboos GHB

          Jeremy Falcon wrote:

          this may come as a shock, but not everyone hates the world

          Only the ignorant . . . and the dead. And I hate happy-face emojis, too! Wake up and smell the flowers bus exhaust. Grumble. Grumble. Grumble. Grumble. Grumble. Grumble.

          Ravings en masse^

          "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

          "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

          J Offline
          J Offline
          Jeremy Falcon
          wrote on last edited by
          #30

          :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

          Jeremy Falcon

          R 1 Reply Last reply
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          • J Jeremy Falcon

            :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

            Jeremy Falcon

            R Offline
            R Offline
            RedDk
            wrote on last edited by
            #31

            What are those things? Miniature endplate potentials?

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • W W Balboos GHB

              Head turned toward me as they walked forward toward their destination person. Head turned away before I could answer - obviously they didn't give a shit about the answer and perhaps didn't even know their lips were flapping and making distracting sounds.

              Ravings en masse^

              "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

              "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

              J Offline
              J Offline
              Jeremy Falcon
              wrote on last edited by
              #32

              I get it though. If you're trying to concentrate it can be unnerving to be distracted. I do that too... when we need focus then quiet is important.

              Jeremy Falcon

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • T TheGreatAndPowerfulOz

                That would mean no Pr0n

                #SupportHeForShe Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun

                J Offline
                J Offline
                Jorgen Andersson
                wrote on last edited by
                #33

                They talk? Never noticed ...

                Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello

                B 1 Reply Last reply
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                • W W Balboos GHB

                  So I'm sitting here, at my desk, which looks outward as I don't like people looking over my shoulder. An employee (i.e, not part of IT) walks by and says "Hello, how are you". They keep walking, their head turned ahead, to their actual target person. No waiting for an answer; a nod; nothing. It's no a unique event. Neither is it unique to me (I know what too many of you were thinking!) It's as though they threw a coin in a toll-booth box. They really had no interest in how I was or wasn't. Some weird obligation as you pass any one of over seven billion people? WTF do they, then, need to bother me? At least dogs has the courtesy to smell one another's asses. I noticed this when I lived in rural places (WV, IL). When I did offer answers, I quickly learned they weren't listening (just say a toe got chopped off: no reaction). They say NY'ers are unfriendly. No - we're not. We just don't bother you if we don't give a damn about you. No pretense. Elephanting annoying, rude, thoughtless, and even insulting, this talking to someone so thoughtlessly. From the wise words of Alfred E. Newman:   If you have nothing to say, don't say it.

                  Ravings en masse^

                  "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

                  "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

                  R Offline
                  R Offline
                  RossMW
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #34

                  Reminds me of when we went to California to see Disneyland / Sea world etc. One of the things that really got up the missus nose was that Americians would just shove you out of their way (she's quite small, but nimble), saying a very fake "sorry" at the same time. We were on our way home from a trip to UK where she had just played hockey for New Zealand, and as such, she knows how to trip people up without it looking obvious. Anyhow, she started muttering about the next person who shoved her out of the way, would get it. I managed to convince her not to do it until some big tall american shoved her out of the way with a bit too much force and the customary fake "sorry". He ended up on his face and bleeding, but was very apolegetic as he thought it was all his fault, this time for once, genuine.

                  W 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                    W∴ Balboos wrote:

                    If you have nothing to say, don't say it.

                    Don't be silly, Farcebook and Twatter would close in a week... On second thoughts...

                    Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay... AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

                    R Offline
                    R Offline
                    Roger Wright
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #35

                    OriginalGriff wrote: Farcebook and Twatter would close in a week... And the downside would be what?:confused: Will Rogers never met me.

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • W W Balboos GHB

                      RedDk wrote:

                      ... Tuesday ... and we're already disfunctional!

                      From my point of view, it's already Tuesday and I'm finally dysfunctional.

                      RedDk wrote:

                      (I know you're not a hater ...)

                      Don't you hate it when people post things like that?* * obligatory answer.

                      Ravings en masse^

                      "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

                      "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

                      M Offline
                      M Offline
                      maze3
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #36

                      W∴ Balboos wrote:

                      RedDk wrote:

                      (I know you're not a hater ...)

                      Don't you hate it when people post things like that?*

                      I hate hating so much that it makes me hate hating even more to the point that I put on a hat of hate which calms my hate.

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • R RossMW

                        Reminds me of when we went to California to see Disneyland / Sea world etc. One of the things that really got up the missus nose was that Americians would just shove you out of their way (she's quite small, but nimble), saying a very fake "sorry" at the same time. We were on our way home from a trip to UK where she had just played hockey for New Zealand, and as such, she knows how to trip people up without it looking obvious. Anyhow, she started muttering about the next person who shoved her out of the way, would get it. I managed to convince her not to do it until some big tall american shoved her out of the way with a bit too much force and the customary fake "sorry". He ended up on his face and bleeding, but was very apolegetic as he thought it was all his fault, this time for once, genuine.

                        W Offline
                        W Offline
                        W Balboos GHB
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #37

                        That's why I keep roughly 15,000,000 feet between me and California. I will admit, however, that they do have bikini-wearing roller skaters, most of whom are female.

                        Ravings en masse^

                        "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

                        "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • W W Balboos GHB

                          So I'm sitting here, at my desk, which looks outward as I don't like people looking over my shoulder. An employee (i.e, not part of IT) walks by and says "Hello, how are you". They keep walking, their head turned ahead, to their actual target person. No waiting for an answer; a nod; nothing. It's no a unique event. Neither is it unique to me (I know what too many of you were thinking!) It's as though they threw a coin in a toll-booth box. They really had no interest in how I was or wasn't. Some weird obligation as you pass any one of over seven billion people? WTF do they, then, need to bother me? At least dogs has the courtesy to smell one another's asses. I noticed this when I lived in rural places (WV, IL). When I did offer answers, I quickly learned they weren't listening (just say a toe got chopped off: no reaction). They say NY'ers are unfriendly. No - we're not. We just don't bother you if we don't give a damn about you. No pretense. Elephanting annoying, rude, thoughtless, and even insulting, this talking to someone so thoughtlessly. From the wise words of Alfred E. Newman:   If you have nothing to say, don't say it.

                          Ravings en masse^

                          "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

                          "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

                          F Offline
                          F Offline
                          Fabio Franco
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #38

                          Well, I have mixed feelings about what you said. First, I am from Brazil, but worked in NY for around two years, going back and forth from Brazil to US in this time period. What I felt was that NYers in general were much "colder" than people in Brazil. But that's ok, different cultures, different way people act towards each other. I thought though that people sometimes were not polite. Like meeting in the elevator hall Brazilians and myself usually say a simple "Good Morning" greeting. I rarely saw anyone there that would actually do that besides myself and I often wouldn't hear a good morning back. But, on the other hand, what I don't like about Brazil that I have to force myself into this false interest in someone else's life, otherwise I am seen as unfriendly compared to others here. I hate to demonstrate false interest and I had to start doing it in order to actually get collaboration from others. In that sense I wish Brazil was more like NY, I'd be thankful for that. In the end I go through the same thing you do, having to hear someone ask how I am and don't even wait for my reply or having a quick chit chat I don't want to have with people I don't care about and I know that don't care about me.

                          To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems - Homer Simpson ---- Our heads are round so our thoughts can change direction - Francis Picabia

                          W 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • W W Balboos GHB

                            So I'm sitting here, at my desk, which looks outward as I don't like people looking over my shoulder. An employee (i.e, not part of IT) walks by and says "Hello, how are you". They keep walking, their head turned ahead, to their actual target person. No waiting for an answer; a nod; nothing. It's no a unique event. Neither is it unique to me (I know what too many of you were thinking!) It's as though they threw a coin in a toll-booth box. They really had no interest in how I was or wasn't. Some weird obligation as you pass any one of over seven billion people? WTF do they, then, need to bother me? At least dogs has the courtesy to smell one another's asses. I noticed this when I lived in rural places (WV, IL). When I did offer answers, I quickly learned they weren't listening (just say a toe got chopped off: no reaction). They say NY'ers are unfriendly. No - we're not. We just don't bother you if we don't give a damn about you. No pretense. Elephanting annoying, rude, thoughtless, and even insulting, this talking to someone so thoughtlessly. From the wise words of Alfred E. Newman:   If you have nothing to say, don't say it.

                            Ravings en masse^

                            "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

                            "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

                            C Offline
                            C Offline
                            ClockMeister
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #39

                            Exactly!

                            If you think hiring a professional is expensive, wait until you hire an amateur! - Red Adair

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • F Fabio Franco

                              Well, I have mixed feelings about what you said. First, I am from Brazil, but worked in NY for around two years, going back and forth from Brazil to US in this time period. What I felt was that NYers in general were much "colder" than people in Brazil. But that's ok, different cultures, different way people act towards each other. I thought though that people sometimes were not polite. Like meeting in the elevator hall Brazilians and myself usually say a simple "Good Morning" greeting. I rarely saw anyone there that would actually do that besides myself and I often wouldn't hear a good morning back. But, on the other hand, what I don't like about Brazil that I have to force myself into this false interest in someone else's life, otherwise I am seen as unfriendly compared to others here. I hate to demonstrate false interest and I had to start doing it in order to actually get collaboration from others. In that sense I wish Brazil was more like NY, I'd be thankful for that. In the end I go through the same thing you do, having to hear someone ask how I am and don't even wait for my reply or having a quick chit chat I don't want to have with people I don't care about and I know that don't care about me.

                              To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems - Homer Simpson ---- Our heads are round so our thoughts can change direction - Francis Picabia

                              W Offline
                              W Offline
                              W Balboos GHB
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #40

                              Another reason you may have found NY'ers seeming cold is the cultural comfort distance. Each culture has a comfort distance for interaction when speaking/family/friends/business/strangers/not-speaking. Latin American and Asian countries, for example, often have a much closer comfort distance than US (and largest, apparently, UK). Thus, at a subconscious level, when in an environment where the distance differs significantly, there can be unintended signals. One steps back (to make their space), giving the impression they're unfriendly, whilst the other moves in (giving the impression of pushy). No conscious intentions. I actually learned to control the impulse - let the other person control the distance. Turns out to be much easier to get friendly. So, along with the verbal customs (about which I bitch), there's the subconscious "we" and "not we" going on. Bon Dia -

                              Ravings en masse^

                              "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

                              "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

                              F 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • W W Balboos GHB

                                Another reason you may have found NY'ers seeming cold is the cultural comfort distance. Each culture has a comfort distance for interaction when speaking/family/friends/business/strangers/not-speaking. Latin American and Asian countries, for example, often have a much closer comfort distance than US (and largest, apparently, UK). Thus, at a subconscious level, when in an environment where the distance differs significantly, there can be unintended signals. One steps back (to make their space), giving the impression they're unfriendly, whilst the other moves in (giving the impression of pushy). No conscious intentions. I actually learned to control the impulse - let the other person control the distance. Turns out to be much easier to get friendly. So, along with the verbal customs (about which I bitch), there's the subconscious "we" and "not we" going on. Bon Dia -

                                Ravings en masse^

                                "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

                                "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

                                F Offline
                                F Offline
                                Fabio Franco
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #41

                                W∴ Balboos wrote:

                                cultural comfort distance.

                                Nice definition, I actually felt that and adapted through observation (like you said, I started to let the other person control the distance). So, after some time I felt at home.

                                W∴ Balboos wrote:

                                So, along with the verbal customs (about which I bitch), there's the subconscious "we" and "not we" going on.

                                Yeah, I hate that too, it's one of the things I liked about NY, had to deal with that a lot less. On another matter though, I found one curious thing that is fundamentally different from Brazil: I usually observed that groups were easily distinguishable. I would see asians hanging with asians, indians hanging with indians, americans with americans (sometimes racial separation within this group). I found it hard to establish a friendship relationship with americans, so most friends I made were actually europeans (not from GB) and latin americans (another distinguished group) which I believe, now that you said it, matched the cultural comfort distance. Bom dia :)

                                To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems - Homer Simpson ---- Our heads are round so our thoughts can change direction - Francis Picabia

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • J Jorgen Andersson

                                  They talk? Never noticed ...

                                  Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello

                                  B Offline
                                  B Offline
                                  Bassam Abdul Baki
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #42

                                  In between the oo's and aa's there are e's, i's, and u's and consonants.

                                  Web - BM - RSS - Math - LinkedIn

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • W W Balboos GHB

                                    So I'm sitting here, at my desk, which looks outward as I don't like people looking over my shoulder. An employee (i.e, not part of IT) walks by and says "Hello, how are you". They keep walking, their head turned ahead, to their actual target person. No waiting for an answer; a nod; nothing. It's no a unique event. Neither is it unique to me (I know what too many of you were thinking!) It's as though they threw a coin in a toll-booth box. They really had no interest in how I was or wasn't. Some weird obligation as you pass any one of over seven billion people? WTF do they, then, need to bother me? At least dogs has the courtesy to smell one another's asses. I noticed this when I lived in rural places (WV, IL). When I did offer answers, I quickly learned they weren't listening (just say a toe got chopped off: no reaction). They say NY'ers are unfriendly. No - we're not. We just don't bother you if we don't give a damn about you. No pretense. Elephanting annoying, rude, thoughtless, and even insulting, this talking to someone so thoughtlessly. From the wise words of Alfred E. Newman:   If you have nothing to say, don't say it.

                                    Ravings en masse^

                                    "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

                                    "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

                                    S Offline
                                    S Offline
                                    Slow Eddie
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #43

                                    You need to review a subject called Transactional Analysis. What the other person was giving you is called a "Ritual Stroke". It is a way of saying "I recognize your existence", if you want. When you reply, you are returning the "ritual stroke", and no response should be expected after that as the "Transaction" is complete. People would rather get yelled at than be ignored. If you grew up in a densely populated location like New York, that would explain your feelings on this issue, as there would not be enough hours in a lifetime for all of the "Ritual Strokes". I suggest that if you are working, and the person breaks your concentration, let them know (in a polite manner) and they probably won't bother you again. :cool:

                                    Angry old men need recognition, work opportunities, and young girls to flirt with too!

                                    W 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • S Slow Eddie

                                      You need to review a subject called Transactional Analysis. What the other person was giving you is called a "Ritual Stroke". It is a way of saying "I recognize your existence", if you want. When you reply, you are returning the "ritual stroke", and no response should be expected after that as the "Transaction" is complete. People would rather get yelled at than be ignored. If you grew up in a densely populated location like New York, that would explain your feelings on this issue, as there would not be enough hours in a lifetime for all of the "Ritual Strokes". I suggest that if you are working, and the person breaks your concentration, let them know (in a polite manner) and they probably won't bother you again. :cool:

                                      Angry old men need recognition, work opportunities, and young girls to flirt with too!

                                      W Offline
                                      W Offline
                                      W Balboos GHB
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #44

                                      A greeting is recognition. A question implies the need for an answer. As for Transnational Analysis, or any other psych-related Gobble-D-Gook, it's mostly a crock - like a good horoscope: seems to fit well enough to convince (some) to believe it. A question implies a request for an answer - and just walking on buy (which shows one doesn't care to listen) is rude, thoughtless, and a ritual stroke with sandpaper. (Have you noticed I've a non-positive bias towards physiological tombs, psychologists, and other charlatans?)

                                      Ravings en masse^

                                      "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

                                      "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • W W Balboos GHB

                                        So I'm sitting here, at my desk, which looks outward as I don't like people looking over my shoulder. An employee (i.e, not part of IT) walks by and says "Hello, how are you". They keep walking, their head turned ahead, to their actual target person. No waiting for an answer; a nod; nothing. It's no a unique event. Neither is it unique to me (I know what too many of you were thinking!) It's as though they threw a coin in a toll-booth box. They really had no interest in how I was or wasn't. Some weird obligation as you pass any one of over seven billion people? WTF do they, then, need to bother me? At least dogs has the courtesy to smell one another's asses. I noticed this when I lived in rural places (WV, IL). When I did offer answers, I quickly learned they weren't listening (just say a toe got chopped off: no reaction). They say NY'ers are unfriendly. No - we're not. We just don't bother you if we don't give a damn about you. No pretense. Elephanting annoying, rude, thoughtless, and even insulting, this talking to someone so thoughtlessly. From the wise words of Alfred E. Newman:   If you have nothing to say, don't say it.

                                        Ravings en masse^

                                        "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

                                        "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

                                        A Offline
                                        A Offline
                                        agolddog
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #45

                                        W∴ Balboos wrote:

                                        From the wise words of Alfred E. Newman:   If you have nothing to say, don't say it.

                                        "It is worth repeating at this point the theories that Ford had come up with, on his first encounter with human beings, to account for their peculiar habit of continually stating and restating the very very obvious, as in "It's a nice day," or "You're very tall," or "So this is it, we're going to die." His first theory was that if human beings didn't keep exercising their lips, their mouths probably shriveled up. After a few months of observation he had come up with a second theory, which was this--"If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, their brains start working.” --Douglas Adams

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                                        • S Slacker007

                                          Marc Clifton wrote:

                                          I'm up near Albany.

                                          I live in Schenectady, near Colonie.

                                          K Offline
                                          K Offline
                                          KC CahabaGBA
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #46

                                          Slacker007 wrote:

                                          I live in Schenectady

                                          Y'all take a class to learn how to spell that? Good grief!

                                          S 1 Reply Last reply
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