Why I hate "Friendly"
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Marc Clifton wrote:
I'm up near Albany.
I live in Schenectady, near Colonie.
Does Marc live in Clifton Park? I work in Albany but commute from Vermont.
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Reasonable supposition. Head was turned towards me when the blurted out the greeting. Looked me in the face, turned their head forward - never breaking their pace.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
Oh I get it now. I was about to say... nothing wrong with saying hello to people. But it sounds like that person was just being nosy to you while passing by along the way to someone else. That's annoying and disrespectful IMO. But it's also the office world. Most people really have no idea or simply don't care enough about how they treat others in the office world. It's not intentional on that person's part... it's just done out of ignorance and lack of self awareness of one's own actions.
Jeremy Falcon
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So I'm sitting here, at my desk, which looks outward as I don't like people looking over my shoulder. An employee (i.e, not part of IT) walks by and says "Hello, how are you". They keep walking, their head turned ahead, to their actual target person. No waiting for an answer; a nod; nothing. It's no a unique event. Neither is it unique to me (I know what too many of you were thinking!) It's as though they threw a coin in a toll-booth box. They really had no interest in how I was or wasn't. Some weird obligation as you pass any one of over seven billion people? WTF do they, then, need to bother me? At least dogs has the courtesy to smell one another's asses. I noticed this when I lived in rural places (WV, IL). When I did offer answers, I quickly learned they weren't listening (just say a toe got chopped off: no reaction). They say NY'ers are unfriendly. No - we're not. We just don't bother you if we don't give a damn about you. No pretense. Elephanting annoying, rude, thoughtless, and even insulting, this talking to someone so thoughtlessly. From the wise words of Alfred E. Newman: If you have nothing to say, don't say it.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
Was he/she saying hello to you or the other person?
Jeremy Falcon
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Oh I get it now. I was about to say... nothing wrong with saying hello to people. But it sounds like that person was just being nosy to you while passing by along the way to someone else. That's annoying and disrespectful IMO. But it's also the office world. Most people really have no idea or simply don't care enough about how they treat others in the office world. It's not intentional on that person's part... it's just done out of ignorance and lack of self awareness of one's own actions.
Jeremy Falcon
I pictured it more as a mindless custom encouraged by local habits. Mindless, and for those not like-mind-less, inconsiderate on a good day. I don't want to hear the snore or phart, either.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
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RedDk wrote:
... Tuesday ... and we're already disfunctional!
From my point of view, it's already Tuesday and I'm finally dysfunctional.
RedDk wrote:
(I know you're not a hater ...)
Don't you hate it when people post things like that?* * obligatory answer.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
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Was he/she saying hello to you or the other person?
Jeremy Falcon
Head turned toward me as they walked forward toward their destination person. Head turned away before I could answer - obviously they didn't give a shit about the answer and perhaps didn't even know their lips were flapping and making distracting sounds.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
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I pictured it more as a mindless custom encouraged by local habits. Mindless, and for those not like-mind-less, inconsiderate on a good day. I don't want to hear the snore or phart, either.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
Still not clear on if he/she was saying hello to you or not. But, if he/she wasn't saying it to you... then yeah I agree.
Jeremy Falcon
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Head turned toward me as they walked forward toward their destination person. Head turned away before I could answer - obviously they didn't give a shit about the answer and perhaps didn't even know their lips were flapping and making distracting sounds.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
Well, assuming he was saying hello to you... this may come as a shock, but not everyone hates the world. :)
Jeremy Falcon
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Well, assuming he was saying hello to you... this may come as a shock, but not everyone hates the world. :)
Jeremy Falcon
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
this may come as a shock, but not everyone hates the world
Only the ignorant . . . and the dead. And I hate happy-face emojis, too! Wake up and smell the flowers bus exhaust. Grumble. Grumble. Grumble. Grumble. Grumble. Grumble.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
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Jeremy Falcon wrote:
this may come as a shock, but not everyone hates the world
Only the ignorant . . . and the dead. And I hate happy-face emojis, too! Wake up and smell the flowers bus exhaust. Grumble. Grumble. Grumble. Grumble. Grumble. Grumble.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D
Jeremy Falcon
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:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D
Jeremy Falcon
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Head turned toward me as they walked forward toward their destination person. Head turned away before I could answer - obviously they didn't give a shit about the answer and perhaps didn't even know their lips were flapping and making distracting sounds.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
I get it though. If you're trying to concentrate it can be unnerving to be distracted. I do that too... when we need focus then quiet is important.
Jeremy Falcon
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That would mean no Pr0n
#SupportHeForShe Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
They talk? Never noticed ...
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
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So I'm sitting here, at my desk, which looks outward as I don't like people looking over my shoulder. An employee (i.e, not part of IT) walks by and says "Hello, how are you". They keep walking, their head turned ahead, to their actual target person. No waiting for an answer; a nod; nothing. It's no a unique event. Neither is it unique to me (I know what too many of you were thinking!) It's as though they threw a coin in a toll-booth box. They really had no interest in how I was or wasn't. Some weird obligation as you pass any one of over seven billion people? WTF do they, then, need to bother me? At least dogs has the courtesy to smell one another's asses. I noticed this when I lived in rural places (WV, IL). When I did offer answers, I quickly learned they weren't listening (just say a toe got chopped off: no reaction). They say NY'ers are unfriendly. No - we're not. We just don't bother you if we don't give a damn about you. No pretense. Elephanting annoying, rude, thoughtless, and even insulting, this talking to someone so thoughtlessly. From the wise words of Alfred E. Newman: If you have nothing to say, don't say it.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
Reminds me of when we went to California to see Disneyland / Sea world etc. One of the things that really got up the missus nose was that Americians would just shove you out of their way (she's quite small, but nimble), saying a very fake "sorry" at the same time. We were on our way home from a trip to UK where she had just played hockey for New Zealand, and as such, she knows how to trip people up without it looking obvious. Anyhow, she started muttering about the next person who shoved her out of the way, would get it. I managed to convince her not to do it until some big tall american shoved her out of the way with a bit too much force and the customary fake "sorry". He ended up on his face and bleeding, but was very apolegetic as he thought it was all his fault, this time for once, genuine.
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W∴ Balboos wrote:
If you have nothing to say, don't say it.
Don't be silly, Farcebook and Twatter would close in a week... On second thoughts...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay... AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
OriginalGriff wrote: Farcebook and Twatter would close in a week... And the downside would be what?:confused: Will Rogers never met me.
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RedDk wrote:
... Tuesday ... and we're already disfunctional!
From my point of view, it's already Tuesday and I'm finally dysfunctional.
RedDk wrote:
(I know you're not a hater ...)
Don't you hate it when people post things like that?* * obligatory answer.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
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Reminds me of when we went to California to see Disneyland / Sea world etc. One of the things that really got up the missus nose was that Americians would just shove you out of their way (she's quite small, but nimble), saying a very fake "sorry" at the same time. We were on our way home from a trip to UK where she had just played hockey for New Zealand, and as such, she knows how to trip people up without it looking obvious. Anyhow, she started muttering about the next person who shoved her out of the way, would get it. I managed to convince her not to do it until some big tall american shoved her out of the way with a bit too much force and the customary fake "sorry". He ended up on his face and bleeding, but was very apolegetic as he thought it was all his fault, this time for once, genuine.
That's why I keep roughly 15,000,000 feet between me and California. I will admit, however, that they do have bikini-wearing roller skaters, most of whom are female.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
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So I'm sitting here, at my desk, which looks outward as I don't like people looking over my shoulder. An employee (i.e, not part of IT) walks by and says "Hello, how are you". They keep walking, their head turned ahead, to their actual target person. No waiting for an answer; a nod; nothing. It's no a unique event. Neither is it unique to me (I know what too many of you were thinking!) It's as though they threw a coin in a toll-booth box. They really had no interest in how I was or wasn't. Some weird obligation as you pass any one of over seven billion people? WTF do they, then, need to bother me? At least dogs has the courtesy to smell one another's asses. I noticed this when I lived in rural places (WV, IL). When I did offer answers, I quickly learned they weren't listening (just say a toe got chopped off: no reaction). They say NY'ers are unfriendly. No - we're not. We just don't bother you if we don't give a damn about you. No pretense. Elephanting annoying, rude, thoughtless, and even insulting, this talking to someone so thoughtlessly. From the wise words of Alfred E. Newman: If you have nothing to say, don't say it.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
Well, I have mixed feelings about what you said. First, I am from Brazil, but worked in NY for around two years, going back and forth from Brazil to US in this time period. What I felt was that NYers in general were much "colder" than people in Brazil. But that's ok, different cultures, different way people act towards each other. I thought though that people sometimes were not polite. Like meeting in the elevator hall Brazilians and myself usually say a simple "Good Morning" greeting. I rarely saw anyone there that would actually do that besides myself and I often wouldn't hear a good morning back. But, on the other hand, what I don't like about Brazil that I have to force myself into this false interest in someone else's life, otherwise I am seen as unfriendly compared to others here. I hate to demonstrate false interest and I had to start doing it in order to actually get collaboration from others. In that sense I wish Brazil was more like NY, I'd be thankful for that. In the end I go through the same thing you do, having to hear someone ask how I am and don't even wait for my reply or having a quick chit chat I don't want to have with people I don't care about and I know that don't care about me.
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems - Homer Simpson ---- Our heads are round so our thoughts can change direction - Francis Picabia
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So I'm sitting here, at my desk, which looks outward as I don't like people looking over my shoulder. An employee (i.e, not part of IT) walks by and says "Hello, how are you". They keep walking, their head turned ahead, to their actual target person. No waiting for an answer; a nod; nothing. It's no a unique event. Neither is it unique to me (I know what too many of you were thinking!) It's as though they threw a coin in a toll-booth box. They really had no interest in how I was or wasn't. Some weird obligation as you pass any one of over seven billion people? WTF do they, then, need to bother me? At least dogs has the courtesy to smell one another's asses. I noticed this when I lived in rural places (WV, IL). When I did offer answers, I quickly learned they weren't listening (just say a toe got chopped off: no reaction). They say NY'ers are unfriendly. No - we're not. We just don't bother you if we don't give a damn about you. No pretense. Elephanting annoying, rude, thoughtless, and even insulting, this talking to someone so thoughtlessly. From the wise words of Alfred E. Newman: If you have nothing to say, don't say it.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
Exactly!
If you think hiring a professional is expensive, wait until you hire an amateur! - Red Adair
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Well, I have mixed feelings about what you said. First, I am from Brazil, but worked in NY for around two years, going back and forth from Brazil to US in this time period. What I felt was that NYers in general were much "colder" than people in Brazil. But that's ok, different cultures, different way people act towards each other. I thought though that people sometimes were not polite. Like meeting in the elevator hall Brazilians and myself usually say a simple "Good Morning" greeting. I rarely saw anyone there that would actually do that besides myself and I often wouldn't hear a good morning back. But, on the other hand, what I don't like about Brazil that I have to force myself into this false interest in someone else's life, otherwise I am seen as unfriendly compared to others here. I hate to demonstrate false interest and I had to start doing it in order to actually get collaboration from others. In that sense I wish Brazil was more like NY, I'd be thankful for that. In the end I go through the same thing you do, having to hear someone ask how I am and don't even wait for my reply or having a quick chit chat I don't want to have with people I don't care about and I know that don't care about me.
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems - Homer Simpson ---- Our heads are round so our thoughts can change direction - Francis Picabia
Another reason you may have found NY'ers seeming cold is the cultural comfort distance. Each culture has a comfort distance for interaction when speaking/family/friends/business/strangers/not-speaking. Latin American and Asian countries, for example, often have a much closer comfort distance than US (and largest, apparently, UK). Thus, at a subconscious level, when in an environment where the distance differs significantly, there can be unintended signals. One steps back (to make their space), giving the impression they're unfriendly, whilst the other moves in (giving the impression of pushy). No conscious intentions. I actually learned to control the impulse - let the other person control the distance. Turns out to be much easier to get friendly. So, along with the verbal customs (about which I bitch), there's the subconscious "we" and "not we" going on. Bon Dia -
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
