The joys of being "the computer guy" (rant)
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
I can't help helping other people, being relatives or not. There is always a reward to it one day or another. Yes it is my time, which is of course valuable, but I have no other talent which I can help people with, so let it be "the computer guy in the area". My part to society. I used to react as you did or wanted to, but this does not lead anywhere good. Even if I am being "overused" by some people, I can live with it.
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I can't help helping other people, being relatives or not. There is always a reward to it one day or another. Yes it is my time, which is of course valuable, but I have no other talent which I can help people with, so let it be "the computer guy in the area". My part to society. I used to react as you did or wanted to, but this does not lead anywhere good. Even if I am being "overused" by some people, I can live with it.
Rage wrote:
I have no other talent which I can help people with
Same here, so in principle, I'm ok with doing what I do best for people and they do what they do best for me... But unfortunately, the people who need computer help are often equally even more incompetent than I am and have nothing to offer in return - 'cept maybe coffee and cake, which I don't really need... :sigh:
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain -
So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
I won't get involved - even for pay - as then you are permanently on call for their problems. If you were a store, you'd say "out of warranty" and charge them some more and they'd not think twice. But you're not a store and you are thereby indentured to them for life.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
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Every good deed will be punished - a quote from somewhere. No you are not over reacting. I would stick it in a cupboard and forget it till she gets in touch then be busy for the next couple of weeks. With any luck she may latch on to some other sucker to set up her machine. And what is wrong with retired ladies, I sleep with one every night :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity - RAH I'm old. I know stuff - JSOP
Mycroft Holmes wrote:
And what is wrong with retired ladies, I sleep with one every night
By "retired", I really did mean "not in the same age group". I mean, would you get with women who are significantly younger than...oh, wait. That example doesn't work here.
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I won't get involved - even for pay - as then you are permanently on call for their problems. If you were a store, you'd say "out of warranty" and charge them some more and they'd not think twice. But you're not a store and you are thereby indentured to them for life.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
Exactly. If I start charging for "real" money (in the sense of making it worth my time), then I put myself on the hook for making sure things keep running. If I don't...then I might be able to eventually guilt someone for something in return. But some really don't.
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
When asked for recommendations, I usually explain that I work on professional equipment designed for a very different job to a domestic user. I say it's a bit like asking an F1 racing driver for advice on a budget runabout, or a long-distance trucker advice on which city car to buy. If pressed I explain further that I just program the things. You wouldn't ask an aircraft technician to fly your 747. Even if they don't "get" the comparison, they usually get that you're just not that keen on helping with their particular predicament. If all else fails I just tell them they couldn't afford my fees. That generally works though in true emergencies I have been known to save the day, as I'm sure we all have.
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When asked for recommendations, I usually explain that I work on professional equipment designed for a very different job to a domestic user. I say it's a bit like asking an F1 racing driver for advice on a budget runabout, or a long-distance trucker advice on which city car to buy. If pressed I explain further that I just program the things. You wouldn't ask an aircraft technician to fly your 747. Even if they don't "get" the comparison, they usually get that you're just not that keen on helping with their particular predicament. If all else fails I just tell them they couldn't afford my fees. That generally works though in true emergencies I have been known to save the day, as I'm sure we all have.
DerekTP123 wrote:
Even if they don't "get" the comparison, they usually get that you're just not that keen on helping with their particular predicament. If all else fails I just tell them they couldn't afford my fees.
I'm man enough to admit I perhaps don't have the balls to word it that way. :-) I do tell people they're getting help from someone who's been earning a living writing software for over two decades, and not just the guy from Best Buy. I just can't bring myself to charge for it.
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
I shut-down my family’s access to my 'computer guy' abilities when I was about your age (10 years ago). For me, it came-down to basic human consideration (or lack thereof). I had a strong desire to be kind, help, and do so without expecting anything in return. What I accomplished was to communicate that I exist to help them with their computer problems... Any problem, any time, regardless of what was happening in my life. I was expected to accommodate them without cognition (apparently by either of us) that I too needed basic consideration. I didn’t realize that I did have a price: Consideration for me, and my need for them to attempt to learn (however much they were capable) to fend for themselves… Yet, they always wanted me to bring them a "fish", and I needed to see them desire to learn to fish themselves, even if they could only catch a bluegill, and I always brought them tuna steaks. I resigned when I literally was told that I was supposed to help them whenever they asked. It is up to each of us to decide how much we allow others to disrespect our time. I found my limit. I recommend dealing with it effectively before it can harm you & your relations.
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
As the "computer guy" I got in the habit of telling people to bring their computer to my house to fix it. You'd be surprised how lazy people are in that they can't even be bothered to drop a computer off to be repaired for free. Got me out of 98% of requested repairs. :-D
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Nope. If you have her address just ship it to her instead of dropping it off.
Elephant elephant elephant, sunshine sunshine sunshine
I spent well over a decade being the go to computer guy in my circle of family and friends until I finally had enough and just flat out refused requests for help, instead providing guidance for obtaining help from professional services. Too much of my personal time spent without anything in return, but frankly that was mostly because I'm a very self-sufficient person, whether it's computer repairs, home repairs, car repairs, even just cooking. I do all that and more myself. More than a decade later, I don't regret that decision one bit.
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
Just say "No". Have been in the business 30 years. A few close friends and immediate family only. Otherwise buy what ever is on sale or call my repair guy, Laptop Dave.
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
I must act very patronizing to my family when they ask for help, so my family rarely asks. I didn’t think so, but the results speak for themselves. Most times, I have to volunteer something. I’ve also found that providing very detailed, step-by-step instructions can get people through a lot of things they would have otherwise been incapable of. My sister recently swapped the HDD for an SSD on her laptop based on instructions I emailed to her. She had one little problem but she and her hubby figured it out on their own. They were very proud of themselves for getting through it. Generating the instructions didn’t take much longer than actually doing it myself, since I didn’t have to sit around waiting for the disk clone to finish.
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
I normally use the great technique of recommending only what I would buy and am comfortable supporting. Generally, these are relatively expensive, and almost no one EVER follows my recommendations. In return, when there are problems, "I would help had you followed my recommendation, but I don't know the technology you've chosen; sorry." :)
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
What happened?
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
I think that you have some responsibility for this problem, though, unless things at her end have genuinely been screwed up by factors completely beyond her control (and she still owed you a phone call or other message if this is the case), she is certainly taking you for granted to an unacceptable degree. The one thing I would have done differently is to insist on making the appointment to do the local setup before taking the laptop home. If the two of you couldn't then come up with a mutually satisfactory date/time before your back to work deadline, I would either just have handed her the laptop or have set a time to drop it off after doing whatever you could and/or were prepared to do at your place, explaining in either case that she would need someone else to do the rest of the setup. My family know that I will help them out (most of them are sufficiently computer savvy that the problems they run into are of some inherent interest!), but that I work for others only on a commercial basis.
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
I don't think you're overreacting a bit. I've done exactly that - delivered, dropped off, or told them to pick up the computer at the agreed upon date without the recipient having stopped by to set up their user account, peripherals, and such. Only when it's family do I really try to adjust and coordinate and get it worked out. I'm "the tech guy" at work and at home. At work we're on a 4-year refresh cycle for computers, and employees get first crack at buying their old office machines for a nominal sum and taking them home [after I reset them and wipe the free space on the drive]. Great deal for $25 bucks. But the office has a very clear policy on future support - Bob's not responsible for any help once it leaves the office. If I agree to help, it's on my own time. It's only happened once that a now-home-machine came back. The employee had a sheepish look asking for help (No kidding:) She said, "my Dad goes weird places on the internet and now it doesn't work". The thing was totally riddled with viruses. "I don't get an antivirus?", I was asked. "Not for $25." I ended up resetting the machine from disk ("Where are all my Dad's files?" I answered, "The virus ate them. Tell your dad to get a different hobby. And, please don't bring this back into the office.") I actually enjoy the work - something different everyday, but I have billable work to do and this kind of tech stuff takes a back seat.
- Bob =*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*= Husband, father, veteran, hunter-gatherer, engineer, welder, owner-builder, beekeeper, coffee roaster
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So my sister apparently told a friend of hers that I'm "the computer guy" in the family, so of course I got a call around the middle of last month. She wanted to buy a "newer" computer - she even asked me if I had a second-hand computer I could sell her. I honestly don't, but even if I did, then while my machines work for me, I see no reason anything couldn't flake out a month from now, so if I sell one of my machines I don't want anything to do with it from that point forward--I'm not in the business of selling hardware. She doesn't have much money to spend, but I did convince her it would be a better idea to get a laptop from Wal-Mart (plenty good for her described needs) as it'll come with a warranty and what-not. I have no problem telling people to get PCs/laptops from Wal-Mart, given that their employees don't know their products and don't give a damn about them, so if there's any reason to ask for an exchange or refund, they treat it like it was a toaster; basically no questions asked, whereas if purchased from a more reputable computer store, then requests for exchanges/refunds are typically met with a little more resistance. Aside: While I can certainly understand some people's financial predicaments, man, I *hate* having to make recommendations for something so cheap I wouldn't want to use myself. Anyway, long story short: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most. I told her I was back at work on January 7th, so I left it up to her to call me whenever she finds time before then. We're now closing in on mid-day, January 6th as I'm writing this. I have basically an afternoon left, she still hasn't called, and quite frankly there's other things I'd rather do with the last afternoon/evening I have before heading back to work. I'm doing this without expecting anything in return; I feel I've been generous with my time (and she's said so herself)--I don't owe anything to this person I otherwise know nothing about. The a-hole in me is starting to feel like if she doesn't call before end of day, I'm going to wait until 9pm tonight, drive to her place, knock on her door, han
Awww... What if her cat gave birth... That's why she can't contact you.
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As the "computer guy" I got in the habit of telling people to bring their computer to my house to fix it. You'd be surprised how lazy people are in that they can't even be bothered to drop a computer off to be repaired for free. Got me out of 98% of requested repairs. :-D
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I shut-down my family’s access to my 'computer guy' abilities when I was about your age (10 years ago). For me, it came-down to basic human consideration (or lack thereof). I had a strong desire to be kind, help, and do so without expecting anything in return. What I accomplished was to communicate that I exist to help them with their computer problems... Any problem, any time, regardless of what was happening in my life. I was expected to accommodate them without cognition (apparently by either of us) that I too needed basic consideration. I didn’t realize that I did have a price: Consideration for me, and my need for them to attempt to learn (however much they were capable) to fend for themselves… Yet, they always wanted me to bring them a "fish", and I needed to see them desire to learn to fish themselves, even if they could only catch a bluegill, and I always brought them tuna steaks. I resigned when I literally was told that I was supposed to help them whenever they asked. It is up to each of us to decide how much we allow others to disrespect our time. I found my limit. I recommend dealing with it effectively before it can harm you & your relations.
cmkrnl wrote:
I resigned when I literally was told that I was supposed to help them whenever they asked. It is up to each of us to decide how much we allow others to disrespect our time. I found my limit. I recommend dealing with it effectively before it can harm you & your relations.
My sister pushed me over that limit when I asked her to sit and watch how I fixed a problem she kept running across a few years ago. She insisted I just fix it again whenever it happened and *refused* to try to sit and learn (and yes, it's the same sister who gave my name to that friend of hers).