Refactoring the soul
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
I worked at a place like that for a while. The projects I worked on were great - really a lot of fun. I liked my co-workers too. However, the management kept getting worse and worse until eventually it was horrendous. We ended up with a GM who thought self-reviews were a good idea. :rolleyes: This was in a fairly small community where most people in the industry knew each other so word started getting around about how bad things were. About 2008 or so, when the economy was really bad, we actually had a fair amount of work and needed to hire more people. We had personnel requisitions open for months and months because no one wanted to work there, even with job openings being very scarce. The head office sent a squad from HR there to interview people and find out what the problems were twice. Of course, they did nothing with their information so the issues persisted. I was actually grateful when I was laid off from there. A little more than a year later the entire division was closed and I don't think anyone was surprised. Today I work for a company who could have been a customer of theirs in the past and whenever we put out an RFP I make sure my former employer does not receive one because they have changed so much I would never, ever even remotely consider them as a vendor. For those of you who know me IRL I will be happy to explain why. :cool:
"They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers! Can I get an amen?"
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
I left one job that I loved after working a year of evenings, weekends and holidays. I didn't mind working long hours however the person I worked for could only be described as like working for Inspector Clouseau(I felt like the Herbert Lom character but instead of being the boss Clouseau was the boss), it was a total nightmare working for him. I realised that my health was going to suffer and as a consequence I left the job and experienced severe depression for around a year. A doctor tried to persuade me to go on SSRIs, but having previously worked in medical data analysis I had a small understanding of how scientific studies are conducted and how the statistics from these studies are produced and what I read in the literature could persuade me to go down the route of taking SSRIs(the benefits compared to placebo were too close for my liking). My close family(who lived some distance from me), friends and CBT ended up saving me - I can't praise CBT highly enough and can see why it is so popular. CBT in it's most basic form it is really just about creating positive distractions. Generally work amounts to half, or more, of your waking hours during the week, so you owe it to yourself to have a decent work environment and I don't buy the "don't take it personally" or the "you're too sensitive" argument - if someone is going to behave like a jerk or bully towards you it's perfectly fine to be affected by that and take action to stop it.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
I've generally kept myself in a position where I can turn around, phart in an upbeat tone, and leave. I can almost here them saying "Oh, :elephant: - now what?" Part of this is a financially conservative life style - except when newly out of school, I don't spend to please others (clothing, cars, etc.). Big saving cushion. Now, I can retire whenever I want - literally working for the entertainment value. Hindsight reminds me that, even though I make less than most - I've had a damn good setup in terms of not letting my employers lord it over me and cause horrid stress. Nonetheless, if I were born rich, it would have made things that much easier. Refactoring is due in keeping myself busy when I pull that retirement trigger. Now that's intimidating.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
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Mike Hankey wrote:
Then I had to take paperwork home because he would go through my desk at night and take papers.
:omg: Why wasn't he fired? Though, that was the question I asked myself every day at these previous jobs. The answer to one was old school corporate mentality, the other was basically "drinking buddies on the CEO's boat and neighbor of the CEO's brother." Talk about a conflict of interest.
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
The whole department, except me was eventually showed the door. Every job we had done was so poorly managed and equipment so outdated that they all sued the company. Example; a PDP-11/23 to run a water treatment plant.
Got my site back up after my time in the woods! JaxCoder.com
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The whole department, except me was eventually showed the door. Every job we had done was so poorly managed and equipment so outdated that they all sued the company. Example; a PDP-11/23 to run a water treatment plant.
Got my site back up after my time in the woods! JaxCoder.com
Mike Hankey wrote:
Example; a PDP-11/23 to run a water treatment plant.
:laugh: With the program on punch tape?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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Mike Hankey wrote:
Example; a PDP-11/23 to run a water treatment plant.
:laugh: With the program on punch tape?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
C senor :)
Got my site back up after my time in the woods! JaxCoder.com
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
Marc Clifton wrote:
Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive
225 articles on CodeProject. I think you may have already have some experience with harsh criticism, and don't think you would have written that much if you'd be overly sensitive. You can't work under fear; stress will slowly eat you.
Marc Clifton wrote:
stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc.
You're not more productive by making sure that you spend as much time as possible behind the keyboard. Sometimes it helps to take a walk around the building in the rain to get a new perspective on a problem. Pretty sure that a lot of companies would like to have a legend and master among them :thumbsup:
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^] "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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Previous boss would stroll in at 9:30/10ish, fall asleep in his office and leave around 3. My normal day was get in around 6:30/7ish, leave around 4:30/5ish. He came over to my desk one day at lunch and "caught" me slacking off reading the news. Treated me like garbage from that point on no matter how good of a job I did, how much money I saved the company, etc. Years have passed and I haven't had any contact with him and I still get this guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach when I leave at noon on a Friday after I've already put in 45-50 hours for the week. Current job is tanking the confidence I have in my own decision making abilities because everything has to go up the chain, even some of the simplest stuff like "Can I take a day to go to a vendor conference that I was invited to speak at? No cost to the company and free publicity in our industry." takes two weeks as it goes through 3-4 levels to get a decision. :sigh:
RJOberg wrote:
Can I take a day to go to a vendor conference that I was invited to speak at? No cost to the company and free publicity in our industry
I can understand why that needs high level approval, there is substantial reputational risk to the organisation involved in public presentations. You may be confident and capable in your subject matter but management actually needs to look at a wider picture. So it is not your decision making capability that is in question (after all you have already made that recommendation to management)
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity - RAH I'm old. I know stuff - JSOP
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
Yes, I can totally relate. The interesting part is that I'm working less now, having more fun at work. And still I get a lot more done.
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
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C senor :)
Got my site back up after my time in the woods! JaxCoder.com
Sheeet! I cut my programming teeth in 7th grade on one of those. Wrote a Star Trek game -- 10x10 grid that printed on a teletype each turn. A couple starbases, the Romulan neutral zone, bad guys. Those were the days! :-D
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
I can relate this this and it is possible to recover from these sorts of experiences. I don't necessarily think that you are over-sensitive - I just think that life has a habit of sometimes putting things in our way that can harm us and spending 8 hours a day working with others is pretty much a guarantee that you are going to work with someone who may want to cause you harm or at least not care if they cause you harm. What I found really helped me was CBT - in its most basic form it's a distraction technique and really helped me to deal with the habit of dwelling on bad work experiences from the past(it's not a magic cure but it's the best thing I have found so far to help with depression), in its more advanced form it's a tool for putting yourself in uncomfortable situations and changing your response to them.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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I had my share of stress too, but I think it is almost unavoidable in our line of business. When things get complicated, which they always do in IT, people get stressed and that brings out the worst in some people. But what I personally found much worse than stress is being unemployed, which I experienced several times. :wtf:
RickZeeland wrote:
When things get complicated, which they always do in IT, people get stressed and that brings out the worst in some people.
I'm working in IT because the work in itself is relatively stress-free :) You have complete control of the environment (admin on your PC), there's a VCS with a history of changes, and each change is small and testable. Stress is sometimes introduced on purpose; makes the crowd more active, more alive. And it is as easy as promising early delivery. I do not feel the need to keep someone else's promise. If there is stress, the first thing I'll do is go outside for a relaxing smoke. People who are pumping adrenaline are not the greatest thinkers. Step back, relax, and fix it.
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^] "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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RickZeeland wrote:
When things get complicated, which they always do in IT, people get stressed and that brings out the worst in some people.
I'm working in IT because the work in itself is relatively stress-free :) You have complete control of the environment (admin on your PC), there's a VCS with a history of changes, and each change is small and testable. Stress is sometimes introduced on purpose; makes the crowd more active, more alive. And it is as easy as promising early delivery. I do not feel the need to keep someone else's promise. If there is stress, the first thing I'll do is go outside for a relaxing smoke. People who are pumping adrenaline are not the greatest thinkers. Step back, relax, and fix it.
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^] "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
Quote:
I'm working in IT because the work in itself is relatively stress-free
I think you watched too many episodes of "Utopia" :laugh:
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Quote:
I'm working in IT because the work in itself is relatively stress-free
I think you watched too many episodes of "Utopia" :laugh:
RickZeeland wrote:
I think you watched too many episodes of "Utopia" :laugh:
No, seriously. That doesn't mean that I did not have my share of PBH's who assumed it would help to motivate me by applying deadlines and guaranteed deliverables; but I did have some fun annoying them before moving on. Go stress your surgeon if you think it helps and let me do the work I studied and am paid for :thumbsup:
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^] "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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I can relate this this and it is possible to recover from these sorts of experiences. I don't necessarily think that you are over-sensitive - I just think that life has a habit of sometimes putting things in our way that can harm us and spending 8 hours a day working with others is pretty much a guarantee that you are going to work with someone who may want to cause you harm or at least not care if they cause you harm. What I found really helped me was CBT - in its most basic form it's a distraction technique and really helped me to deal with the habit of dwelling on bad work experiences from the past(it's not a magic cure but it's the best thing I have found so far to help with depression), in its more advanced form it's a tool for putting yourself in uncomfortable situations and changing your response to them.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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RickZeeland wrote:
When things get complicated, which they always do in IT, people get stressed and that brings out the worst in some people.
I'm working in IT because the work in itself is relatively stress-free :) You have complete control of the environment (admin on your PC), there's a VCS with a history of changes, and each change is small and testable. Stress is sometimes introduced on purpose; makes the crowd more active, more alive. And it is as easy as promising early delivery. I do not feel the need to keep someone else's promise. If there is stress, the first thing I'll do is go outside for a relaxing smoke. People who are pumping adrenaline are not the greatest thinkers. Step back, relax, and fix it.
Bastard Programmer from Hell :suss: If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^] "If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
Eddy Vluggen wrote:
You have complete control of the environment (admin on your PC),
Not always... :doh: :sigh:
M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Eddy Vluggen wrote:
You have complete control of the environment (admin on your PC),
Not always... :doh: :sigh:
M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Eddy Vluggen wrote:
Without it, expect some unexpected delays :)
Like 3 Weeks to be able to install VS2017 Pro? :sigh: :sigh: Luckily enough, a bug in the installations package from the domain forced them to give me local admin level
M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
Not claiming it's as bad as working for psychos, but working for people who totally ignore your work and its contribution to the business and ignore your advice (when they even bother to ask for it) can be as demoralising in the long-term. They complain that our web site isn't as 'wizzy' as the latest wiz apps online totally ignoring that it was built on Java Faces back when that was considered - by some (mainly @Oracle) to be all-singing-all-dancing, and purchased from a third party vendor. And we don't have access to any Java development software or a Java compiler. I try to contribute, I really do, but I'm losing the will to live..... :^)
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In previous job, I spent two years being almost daily criticized and abused my senior management. In the job prior to that, I spent 2 years working under a psychopath -- he should run for POTUS, very similar traits. Prior to that (now 4 years back) life was blissful with the contract work I was doing. I realized yesterday, after 3 months at this lovely new job, those last 4 years left me feeling psychologically damaged. I expect criticism, cringe when the manager or CEO walks in, stress if I take longer than 30 minutes for lunch, etc. Perhaps it's just me, being overly sensitive, yada-yada, but I'm curious if others have realized that they need to heal from traumatic work experiences?
Latest Article - Web Frameworks - A Solution Looking for a Problem? Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
yes. Work is another form of relationship. There have been a number of realisation for myself when watching some drama about "why does she/he not just leave she/he if they are so unhappy?" and think, wow my job is like that, why do I keep going in? And some similarities when long term couples see the surface level of another couple (job opportunity) and think wow, that looks like a great couple. Why are we not like that. I will leave article which I found a few helpful points [How to Slow Down to Go Faster Than Ever in Software Development](https://www.infoq.com/articles/slow-down-go-faster)