Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Code Project
  1. Home
  2. The Lounge
  3. Befriending at new workplace

Befriending at new workplace

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
27 Posts 12 Posters 3 Views 1 Watching
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • M Offline
    M Offline
    Member 14169933
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    whats the best way to blend with co-workers(especially boss) at a new workplace, I am quiet introverted, my boss thinks that I am just sitting around I have recently joined a company in malaysia I am first time out of my country india

    OriginalGriffO G G D Sander RosselS 10 Replies Last reply
    0
    • M Member 14169933

      whats the best way to blend with co-workers(especially boss) at a new workplace, I am quiet introverted, my boss thinks that I am just sitting around I have recently joined a company in malaysia I am first time out of my country india

      OriginalGriffO Offline
      OriginalGriffO Offline
      OriginalGriff
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Depends on a whole load of things: there is no "one solution" that fits everybody and every company. Suggest a drink after work? Doesn't have to be a "get drunk" session - a quiet beer or two off premises can lower barriers and make it easier to talk about non-work stuff. Take money, expect to buy a round!

      "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

      "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
      "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

      G 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • M Member 14169933

        whats the best way to blend with co-workers(especially boss) at a new workplace, I am quiet introverted, my boss thinks that I am just sitting around I have recently joined a company in malaysia I am first time out of my country india

        G Offline
        G Offline
        GKP1992
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Talking to people during breaks is a good place to start. Keep it casual and do not get very personal. Ask them about the job they do etc.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • M Member 14169933

          whats the best way to blend with co-workers(especially boss) at a new workplace, I am quiet introverted, my boss thinks that I am just sitting around I have recently joined a company in malaysia I am first time out of my country india

          G Offline
          G Offline
          glennPattonPub
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          I have always found the best way was to take a passive back seat for a couple of weeks before you do anything, except if you see someone wrestling with an issue you know how to solve (or have solved yourself) with me it was Serial Comms, Someone was battling with a RS485 device he had wired as a 422, offered advice showed him the wiring error he made, buddy for life. My theory is people at work are generally OK, but they have their own way of doing stuff for a reason, until you know the reason keep your opinion to yourself. Plus you don't want to be the bosom buddy of the office jerk! :rolleyes: been there!

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

            Depends on a whole load of things: there is no "one solution" that fits everybody and every company. Suggest a drink after work? Doesn't have to be a "get drunk" session - a quiet beer or two off premises can lower barriers and make it easier to talk about non-work stuff. Take money, expect to buy a round!

            "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

            G Offline
            G Offline
            GKP1992
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            OriginalGriff wrote:

            Suggest a drink after work?

            May not work in Malaysia,as most people follow Islam, but going out to eat together can be an option.

            N Sander RosselS 2 Replies Last reply
            0
            • M Member 14169933

              whats the best way to blend with co-workers(especially boss) at a new workplace, I am quiet introverted, my boss thinks that I am just sitting around I have recently joined a company in malaysia I am first time out of my country india

              D Offline
              D Offline
              Duncan Edwards Jones
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Bring some snacks for a first month anniversary and bring them to your colleagues. (Especially as you have a different background you can introduce them to some new food stuff?)

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • M Member 14169933

                whats the best way to blend with co-workers(especially boss) at a new workplace, I am quiet introverted, my boss thinks that I am just sitting around I have recently joined a company in malaysia I am first time out of my country india

                Sander RosselS Offline
                Sander RosselS Offline
                Sander Rossel
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                I'm quiet and introverted as well, although I can be a bit more outgoing at work. What works for me is to just listen in on conversations and just mingle as soon as I get a chance. Like last week, two people I didn't know yet talked about buying a new monitor and backing up to OneDrive. I bought two new monitors last year so I just chimed in and said "I can really recommend..., I bought two last year and they work great and the price is good for the quality you get." From there the conversation went to OneDrive, which I also planned to use. Other times, like when the conversation is about sports, I just keep quiet, unless people ask me if I'm into sports, at which point I answer them I'm completely totally not into sports. What may help too is arriving at the office and just starting a random conversation by just throwing something out there... "Commute today was crazy, there was this guy who..." or "Who saw that documentary on TV last night?" Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but people will know who you are and they'll be more inclined to start a conversation with you. Another good strategy is just standing up at around lunch time and asking, in general, "So who's going out to lunch?" Maybe it's no one, maybe you make some new friends. Good luck with your new job and with making some friends! :)

                Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly

                honey the codewitchH 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • G GKP1992

                  OriginalGriff wrote:

                  Suggest a drink after work?

                  May not work in Malaysia,as most people follow Islam, but going out to eat together can be an option.

                  N Offline
                  N Offline
                  Nelek
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  A drink doesn't have to be alcoholic, you might go out to have a tea or a coffee.

                  M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.

                  G 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • M Member 14169933

                    whats the best way to blend with co-workers(especially boss) at a new workplace, I am quiet introverted, my boss thinks that I am just sitting around I have recently joined a company in malaysia I am first time out of my country india

                    N Offline
                    N Offline
                    Nelek
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Just don't try to impress anyone at the beginning. For a while just be an interested listener asking questions about what they say, showing them you respect their opinion and want to know more about them. Don't overtake conversations and wait patient until they ask you. That should be easier for you, than starting any kind of conversation if you are not enough confident yet. After some time, you will (hopefully) be at least 90% sure, who is worth to hear / interact with and who is just telling BS and better to be avoided. Which already is a very useful information.

                    M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.

                    honey the codewitchH 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • G GKP1992

                      OriginalGriff wrote:

                      Suggest a drink after work?

                      May not work in Malaysia,as most people follow Islam, but going out to eat together can be an option.

                      Sander RosselS Offline
                      Sander RosselS Offline
                      Sander Rossel
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      I recently read many Muslims drink alcohol. Some groups just drink it because why not. But it seems many Muslims have a long tradition with wine and still drink it. Sometimes because there are just a lot of grapes in the area, other times even for religious reasons, blood of Christ and all that. And the younger generation doesn't mind the strict rules all that much. But those that don't drink alcohol, for whatever reason, can drink something else. Personally, as an atheist, I'd prefer an Ice Tea ;)

                      Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly

                      honey the codewitchH G 2 Replies Last reply
                      0
                      • M Member 14169933

                        whats the best way to blend with co-workers(especially boss) at a new workplace, I am quiet introverted, my boss thinks that I am just sitting around I have recently joined a company in malaysia I am first time out of my country india

                        honey the codewitchH Offline
                        honey the codewitchH Offline
                        honey the codewitch
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        When I first get to a job, I observe others. I try to find out who is congregating with whom, and I also look at company calendars for employee events. When I first get somewhere, I'll sign on to some of the events, like an employee pot luck or beer and pizza fridays or whatever if they're available - any sort of social event where mingling with other employees is expected. That takes some of the pressure off of approaching people. Otherwise, I just sniff people out. Usually, I'm on a team with others, and I start there. Get into likes and dislikes. Ask people what music they like to code to, that sort of thing. Also, if a boss sees you "fitting in", they're less likely to single you out.

                        When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • Sander RosselS Sander Rossel

                          I recently read many Muslims drink alcohol. Some groups just drink it because why not. But it seems many Muslims have a long tradition with wine and still drink it. Sometimes because there are just a lot of grapes in the area, other times even for religious reasons, blood of Christ and all that. And the younger generation doesn't mind the strict rules all that much. But those that don't drink alcohol, for whatever reason, can drink something else. Personally, as an atheist, I'd prefer an Ice Tea ;)

                          Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly

                          honey the codewitchH Offline
                          honey the codewitchH Offline
                          honey the codewitch
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          I prefer whatever I have brewing and fermenting in my cauldron that day.

                          When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.

                          Sander RosselS 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • N Nelek

                            Just don't try to impress anyone at the beginning. For a while just be an interested listener asking questions about what they say, showing them you respect their opinion and want to know more about them. Don't overtake conversations and wait patient until they ask you. That should be easier for you, than starting any kind of conversation if you are not enough confident yet. After some time, you will (hopefully) be at least 90% sure, who is worth to hear / interact with and who is just telling BS and better to be avoided. Which already is a very useful information.

                            M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.

                            honey the codewitchH Offline
                            honey the codewitchH Offline
                            honey the codewitch
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            "listen" always good advice! +1

                            When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • Sander RosselS Sander Rossel

                              I'm quiet and introverted as well, although I can be a bit more outgoing at work. What works for me is to just listen in on conversations and just mingle as soon as I get a chance. Like last week, two people I didn't know yet talked about buying a new monitor and backing up to OneDrive. I bought two new monitors last year so I just chimed in and said "I can really recommend..., I bought two last year and they work great and the price is good for the quality you get." From there the conversation went to OneDrive, which I also planned to use. Other times, like when the conversation is about sports, I just keep quiet, unless people ask me if I'm into sports, at which point I answer them I'm completely totally not into sports. What may help too is arriving at the office and just starting a random conversation by just throwing something out there... "Commute today was crazy, there was this guy who..." or "Who saw that documentary on TV last night?" Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but people will know who you are and they'll be more inclined to start a conversation with you. Another good strategy is just standing up at around lunch time and asking, in general, "So who's going out to lunch?" Maybe it's no one, maybe you make some new friends. Good luck with your new job and with making some friends! :)

                              Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly

                              honey the codewitchH Offline
                              honey the codewitchH Offline
                              honey the codewitch
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              When all else fails, take hostages

                              When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.

                              Sander RosselS 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • honey the codewitchH honey the codewitch

                                I prefer whatever I have brewing and fermenting in my cauldron that day.

                                When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.

                                Sander RosselS Offline
                                Sander RosselS Offline
                                Sander Rossel
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                Little kids and puppies? (it's only sad because of the puppies) :D

                                Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly

                                honey the codewitchH C 2 Replies Last reply
                                0
                                • Sander RosselS Sander Rossel

                                  Little kids and puppies? (it's only sad because of the puppies) :D

                                  Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly

                                  honey the codewitchH Offline
                                  honey the codewitchH Offline
                                  honey the codewitch
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  puppies grow into dogs. I'm sparing them that fate.

                                  When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.

                                  Sander RosselS 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • honey the codewitchH honey the codewitch

                                    When all else fails, take hostages

                                    When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.

                                    Sander RosselS Offline
                                    Sander RosselS Offline
                                    Sander Rossel
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    And put them in that cauldron :D

                                    Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • honey the codewitchH honey the codewitch

                                      puppies grow into dogs. I'm sparing them that fate.

                                      When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.

                                      Sander RosselS Offline
                                      Sander RosselS Offline
                                      Sander Rossel
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      Man's best friend, of course you wouldn't know that being a woman and all ;)

                                      Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • N Nelek

                                        A drink doesn't have to be alcoholic, you might go out to have a tea or a coffee.

                                        M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.

                                        G Offline
                                        G Offline
                                        GKP1992
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        I agree with you here but, OG was implying that. I am also aware of the fact that many people who follow Islam don't necessarily follow the no drinks suit, however assuming that they do is still a safer option, especially if you're new. I am of the belief, that having a few drinks together is one of the best ways to befriend someone, along with offering helping hand.

                                        N 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • Sander RosselS Sander Rossel

                                          I recently read many Muslims drink alcohol. Some groups just drink it because why not. But it seems many Muslims have a long tradition with wine and still drink it. Sometimes because there are just a lot of grapes in the area, other times even for religious reasons, blood of Christ and all that. And the younger generation doesn't mind the strict rules all that much. But those that don't drink alcohol, for whatever reason, can drink something else. Personally, as an atheist, I'd prefer an Ice Tea ;)

                                          Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly

                                          G Offline
                                          G Offline
                                          GKP1992
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          Sander Rossel wrote:

                                          I recently read many Muslims drink alcohol.

                                          And still there are many who do not. What I meant was to only play it safe, until you know for sure they do. This is all assuming that the OP do not mind drinking themselves. :laugh:

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          0
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Don't have an account? Register

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • World
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups