Befriending at new workplace

glennPattonPub

I have always found the best way was to take a passive back seat for a couple of weeks before you do anything, except if you see someone wrestling with an issue you know how to solve (or have solved yourself) with me it was Serial Comms, Someone was battling with a RS485 device he had wired as a 422, offered advice showed him the wiring error he made, buddy for life. My theory is people at work are generally OK, but they have their own way of doing stuff for a reason, until you know the reason keep your opinion to yourself. Plus you don't want to be the bosom buddy of the office jerk! :rolleyes: been there!

GKP1992

OriginalGriff wrote:

Suggest a drink after work?

May not work in Malaysia,as most people follow Islam, but going out to eat together can be an option.

Duncan Edwards Jones

Bring some snacks for a first month anniversary and bring them to your colleagues. (Especially as you have a different background you can introduce them to some new food stuff?)

Sander Rossel

I'm quiet and introverted as well, although I can be a bit more outgoing at work. What works for me is to just listen in on conversations and just mingle as soon as I get a chance. Like last week, two people I didn't know yet talked about buying a new monitor and backing up to OneDrive. I bought two new monitors last year so I just chimed in and said "I can really recommend..., I bought two last year and they work great and the price is good for the quality you get." From there the conversation went to OneDrive, which I also planned to use. Other times, like when the conversation is about sports, I just keep quiet, unless people ask me if I'm into sports, at which point I answer them I'm completely totally not into sports. What may help too is arriving at the office and just starting a random conversation by just throwing something out there... "Commute today was crazy, there was this guy who..." or "Who saw that documentary on TV last night?" Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but people will know who you are and they'll be more inclined to start a conversation with you. Another good strategy is just standing up at around lunch time and asking, in general, "So who's going out to lunch?" Maybe it's no one, maybe you make some new friends. Good luck with your new job and with making some friends! :)

Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly

Nelek

A drink doesn't have to be alcoholic, you might go out to have a tea or a coffee.

M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.

Nelek

Just don't try to impress anyone at the beginning. For a while just be an interested listener asking questions about what they say, showing them you respect their opinion and want to know more about them. Don't overtake conversations and wait patient until they ask you. That should be easier for you, than starting any kind of conversation if you are not enough confident yet. After some time, you will (hopefully) be at least 90% sure, who is worth to hear / interact with and who is just telling BS and better to be avoided. Which already is a very useful information.

M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.

Sander Rossel

I recently read many Muslims drink alcohol. Some groups just drink it because why not. But it seems many Muslims have a long tradition with wine and still drink it. Sometimes because there are just a lot of grapes in the area, other times even for religious reasons, blood of Christ and all that. And the younger generation doesn't mind the strict rules all that much. But those that don't drink alcohol, for whatever reason, can drink something else. Personally, as an atheist, I'd prefer an Ice Tea ;)

Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly

honey the codewitch

When I first get to a job, I observe others. I try to find out who is congregating with whom, and I also look at company calendars for employee events. When I first get somewhere, I'll sign on to some of the events, like an employee pot luck or beer and pizza fridays or whatever if they're available - any sort of social event where mingling with other employees is expected. That takes some of the pressure off of approaching people. Otherwise, I just sniff people out. Usually, I'm on a team with others, and I start there. Get into likes and dislikes. Ask people what music they like to code to, that sort of thing. Also, if a boss sees you "fitting in", they're less likely to single you out.