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  3. Befriending at new workplace

Befriending at new workplace

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  • N Nelek

    Just don't try to impress anyone at the beginning. For a while just be an interested listener asking questions about what they say, showing them you respect their opinion and want to know more about them. Don't overtake conversations and wait patient until they ask you. That should be easier for you, than starting any kind of conversation if you are not enough confident yet. After some time, you will (hopefully) be at least 90% sure, who is worth to hear / interact with and who is just telling BS and better to be avoided. Which already is a very useful information.

    M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.

    honey the codewitchH Online
    honey the codewitchH Online
    honey the codewitch
    wrote on last edited by
    #13

    "listen" always good advice! +1

    When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.

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    • Sander RosselS Sander Rossel

      I'm quiet and introverted as well, although I can be a bit more outgoing at work. What works for me is to just listen in on conversations and just mingle as soon as I get a chance. Like last week, two people I didn't know yet talked about buying a new monitor and backing up to OneDrive. I bought two new monitors last year so I just chimed in and said "I can really recommend..., I bought two last year and they work great and the price is good for the quality you get." From there the conversation went to OneDrive, which I also planned to use. Other times, like when the conversation is about sports, I just keep quiet, unless people ask me if I'm into sports, at which point I answer them I'm completely totally not into sports. What may help too is arriving at the office and just starting a random conversation by just throwing something out there... "Commute today was crazy, there was this guy who..." or "Who saw that documentary on TV last night?" Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but people will know who you are and they'll be more inclined to start a conversation with you. Another good strategy is just standing up at around lunch time and asking, in general, "So who's going out to lunch?" Maybe it's no one, maybe you make some new friends. Good luck with your new job and with making some friends! :)

      Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly

      honey the codewitchH Online
      honey the codewitchH Online
      honey the codewitch
      wrote on last edited by
      #14

      When all else fails, take hostages

      When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.

      Sander RosselS 1 Reply Last reply
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      • honey the codewitchH honey the codewitch

        I prefer whatever I have brewing and fermenting in my cauldron that day.

        When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.

        Sander RosselS Offline
        Sander RosselS Offline
        Sander Rossel
        wrote on last edited by
        #15

        Little kids and puppies? (it's only sad because of the puppies) :D

        Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly

        honey the codewitchH C 2 Replies Last reply
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        • Sander RosselS Sander Rossel

          Little kids and puppies? (it's only sad because of the puppies) :D

          Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly

          honey the codewitchH Online
          honey the codewitchH Online
          honey the codewitch
          wrote on last edited by
          #16

          puppies grow into dogs. I'm sparing them that fate.

          When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.

          Sander RosselS 1 Reply Last reply
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          • honey the codewitchH honey the codewitch

            When all else fails, take hostages

            When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.

            Sander RosselS Offline
            Sander RosselS Offline
            Sander Rossel
            wrote on last edited by
            #17

            And put them in that cauldron :D

            Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • honey the codewitchH honey the codewitch

              puppies grow into dogs. I'm sparing them that fate.

              When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.

              Sander RosselS Offline
              Sander RosselS Offline
              Sander Rossel
              wrote on last edited by
              #18

              Man's best friend, of course you wouldn't know that being a woman and all ;)

              Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly

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              • N Nelek

                A drink doesn't have to be alcoholic, you might go out to have a tea or a coffee.

                M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.

                G Offline
                G Offline
                GKP1992
                wrote on last edited by
                #19

                I agree with you here but, OG was implying that. I am also aware of the fact that many people who follow Islam don't necessarily follow the no drinks suit, however assuming that they do is still a safer option, especially if you're new. I am of the belief, that having a few drinks together is one of the best ways to befriend someone, along with offering helping hand.

                N 1 Reply Last reply
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                • Sander RosselS Sander Rossel

                  I recently read many Muslims drink alcohol. Some groups just drink it because why not. But it seems many Muslims have a long tradition with wine and still drink it. Sometimes because there are just a lot of grapes in the area, other times even for religious reasons, blood of Christ and all that. And the younger generation doesn't mind the strict rules all that much. But those that don't drink alcohol, for whatever reason, can drink something else. Personally, as an atheist, I'd prefer an Ice Tea ;)

                  Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly

                  G Offline
                  G Offline
                  GKP1992
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #20

                  Sander Rossel wrote:

                  I recently read many Muslims drink alcohol.

                  And still there are many who do not. What I meant was to only play it safe, until you know for sure they do. This is all assuming that the OP do not mind drinking themselves. :laugh:

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                  • M Member 14169933

                    whats the best way to blend with co-workers(especially boss) at a new workplace, I am quiet introverted, my boss thinks that I am just sitting around I have recently joined a company in malaysia I am first time out of my country india

                    A Offline
                    A Offline
                    Amarnath S
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #21

                    Some offices do have a buddy system, where your buddy will make you easily acclimatise to the new surroundings. In fact, I was a buddy for a new employee, and helped him around the office. With a boss, the best thing is to set the expectations straight in the beginning itself - like 'Can you please specify what all is expected out of me', or 'Can you please specify how I can contribute more to the office in the short and long terms'.

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                    • Sander RosselS Sander Rossel

                      Little kids and puppies? (it's only sad because of the puppies) :D

                      Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly

                      C Offline
                      C Offline
                      Cp Coder
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #22

                      Anyone who hates dogs and kids can't be all bad. - W.C. Fields :laugh:

                      Sander RosselS 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • M Member 14169933

                        whats the best way to blend with co-workers(especially boss) at a new workplace, I am quiet introverted, my boss thinks that I am just sitting around I have recently joined a company in malaysia I am first time out of my country india

                        M Offline
                        M Offline
                        Marc Clifton
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #23

                        How to Win Friends and Influence People - Wikipedia[^] It works. Bottom line is, take a sincere interest in other people.

                        Latest Articles:
                        16 Days: A TypeScript application from concept to implementation Database Transaction Management across AJAX Calls

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • M Member 14169933

                          whats the best way to blend with co-workers(especially boss) at a new workplace, I am quiet introverted, my boss thinks that I am just sitting around I have recently joined a company in malaysia I am first time out of my country india

                          M Offline
                          M Offline
                          Maximilien
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #24

                          Member 14169933 wrote:

                          my boss thinks that I am just sitting around

                          1. Do you have tasks assigned to you (bug fix, maintenance, new code, doc like specs and requirements...) ? If no, go see your boss for things to do. 2. Are you progressing on those tasks, Do you keep time in an official manner (online , offline) ? so you have issue trackers (for example, jira) 2. Are you reporting your progress to anyone, have you shown your boss what you do ? do you commit code, do you demo what you are working on ?

                          I'd rather be phishing!

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • G GKP1992

                            I agree with you here but, OG was implying that. I am also aware of the fact that many people who follow Islam don't necessarily follow the no drinks suit, however assuming that they do is still a safer option, especially if you're new. I am of the belief, that having a few drinks together is one of the best ways to befriend someone, along with offering helping hand.

                            N Offline
                            N Offline
                            Nelek
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #25

                            GKP1992 wrote:

                            I am of the belief, that having a few drinks together is one of the best ways to befriend someone, along with offering helping hand.

                            That or going out to pinch a bit / have lunch or dinner or all at once. Main thing is go out of with them and do something together

                            M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • C Cp Coder

                              Anyone who hates dogs and kids can't be all bad. - W.C. Fields :laugh:

                              Sander RosselS Offline
                              Sander RosselS Offline
                              Sander Rossel
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #26

                              Agreed on the kids, I love dogs though (although I'm a cat person) :D

                              Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly

                              C 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • Sander RosselS Sander Rossel

                                Agreed on the kids, I love dogs though (although I'm a cat person) :D

                                Best, Sander sanderrossel.com Continuous Integration, Delivery, and Deployment arrgh.js - Bringing LINQ to JavaScript Object-Oriented Programming in C# Succinctly

                                C Offline
                                C Offline
                                Cp Coder
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #27

                                Cats are banned in our house - The wife is allergic to them. Dogs: We are fairly agnostic to dogs. Taking care of them can be a nuisance. Kids: Well it depends on the kid. Some can be little horrors, but of course our grandkids are absolute little angels in all respects. :-D

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