Worst Joke Wednesday
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Classics: Q: How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug? A: Four. Two in the front, two in the back. Q: How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator? A: There's a footprint in the mayo. Q: How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator? A: There's two footprints in the mayo. Q: How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator? A: The door won't shut. Q: How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator? A: There's a VW Bug in your driveway. Q: Why do ducks have big flat feet? A: To stamp out forest fires. Q: Why do elephants have big flat feet? A: To stamp out flaming ducks.
Shog9
drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds...
Q. How do you fit 12 elephants in a VW Bug? A. A blender. Q. And how do you get them out? A. A straw. J
"You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."
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I'm having a day and a half. Bad jokes needed ASAP. Lemme start: Q. Why do you look out the window in the morning? A. Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway. Q. Why don't sharks eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny. cheers, Chris Maunder
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I'm having a day and a half. Bad jokes needed ASAP. Lemme start: Q. Why do you look out the window in the morning? A. Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway. Q. Why don't sharks eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny. cheers, Chris Maunder
Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs buried in the sand? A. Doug Q. What if he's water skiing? A. Skip Q. What if he's floating in the water? A. Bob Q. What if he's standing outside your front door? A. Matt
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching. -
I'm having a day and a half. Bad jokes needed ASAP. Lemme start: Q. Why do you look out the window in the morning? A. Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway. Q. Why don't sharks eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny. cheers, Chris Maunder
People often wonder why I have Chihuahuas[^] in my writing. It actually dates back to when I was a kid and had a pet Chihuahua. My dad had been working on the car, and had left a pan of gasoline on the ground in the back yard that he was using to clean tools. My dog, not being any brighter than the average small, hairless canine, mistook it for a bowl of water and quickly drank it down. The next thing I knew, he was running in circles around the back yard at warp 8, barking furiously. This went on for about 5 minutes and then he just fell over, motionless and silent. Dead? Nope. Just out of gas. Chistopher Duncan Author - The Career Programmer: Guerilla Tactics for an Imperfect World (Apress)
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Classics: Q: How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug? A: Four. Two in the front, two in the back. Q: How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator? A: There's a footprint in the mayo. Q: How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator? A: There's two footprints in the mayo. Q: How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator? A: The door won't shut. Q: How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator? A: There's a VW Bug in your driveway. Q: Why do ducks have big flat feet? A: To stamp out forest fires. Q: Why do elephants have big flat feet? A: To stamp out flaming ducks.
Shog9
drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds...
Shog9 wrote: Q: Why do ducks have big flat feet? A: To stamp out forest fires. Q: Why do elephants have big flat feet? A: To stamp out flaming ducks. :laugh:
Jon Sagara
A bottle a night isn't alcoholism - it's persistence! -- A coworker, jokingly -
People often wonder why I have Chihuahuas[^] in my writing. It actually dates back to when I was a kid and had a pet Chihuahua. My dad had been working on the car, and had left a pan of gasoline on the ground in the back yard that he was using to clean tools. My dog, not being any brighter than the average small, hairless canine, mistook it for a bowl of water and quickly drank it down. The next thing I knew, he was running in circles around the back yard at warp 8, barking furiously. This went on for about 5 minutes and then he just fell over, motionless and silent. Dead? Nope. Just out of gas. Chistopher Duncan Author - The Career Programmer: Guerilla Tactics for an Imperfect World (Apress)
:-D Brilliant!
Jon Sagara
A bottle a night isn't alcoholism - it's persistence! -- A coworker, jokingly -
I'm having a day and a half. Bad jokes needed ASAP. Lemme start: Q. Why do you look out the window in the morning? A. Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway. Q. Why don't sharks eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny. cheers, Chris Maunder
Q. Why did the pervert cross the road? A. He was stuck to the chicken. Hows that for bad :) Hey don't worry, I can handle it. I took something. I can see things no one else can see. Why are you dressed like that? - Jack Burton
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Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs buried in the sand? A. Doug Q. What if he's water skiing? A. Skip Q. What if he's floating in the water? A. Bob Q. What if he's standing outside your front door? A. Matt
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.Q. What if he's under your car? A. Jack Hey don't worry, I can handle it. I took something. I can see things no one else can see. Why are you dressed like that? - Jack Burton
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Q. Why did the pervert cross the road? A. He was stuck to the chicken. Hows that for bad :) Hey don't worry, I can handle it. I took something. I can see things no one else can see. Why are you dressed like that? - Jack Burton
Q. Why did the Punk Rocker cross the road? A. Because he was stapled to the chicken. Chistopher Duncan Author - The Career Programmer: Guerilla Tactics for an Imperfect World (Apress)
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Q. Why did the Punk Rocker cross the road? A. Because he was stapled to the chicken. Chistopher Duncan Author - The Career Programmer: Guerilla Tactics for an Imperfect World (Apress)
:) Hey don't worry, I can handle it. I took something. I can see things no one else can see. Why are you dressed like that? - Jack Burton
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Q. Why don't blind people skydive? A. Because it scares the crap out of their dogs. And I just love... Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick. J
"You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."
Jamie Hale wrote: Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick. :laugh: I like that one! Jeremy Falcon
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People often wonder why I have Chihuahuas[^] in my writing. It actually dates back to when I was a kid and had a pet Chihuahua. My dad had been working on the car, and had left a pan of gasoline on the ground in the back yard that he was using to clean tools. My dog, not being any brighter than the average small, hairless canine, mistook it for a bowl of water and quickly drank it down. The next thing I knew, he was running in circles around the back yard at warp 8, barking furiously. This went on for about 5 minutes and then he just fell over, motionless and silent. Dead? Nope. Just out of gas. Chistopher Duncan Author - The Career Programmer: Guerilla Tactics for an Imperfect World (Apress)
Christopher Duncan wrote: Just out of gas. Ok ok, you win the cheesy award. :) Jeremy Falcon
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I'm having a day and a half. Bad jokes needed ASAP. Lemme start: Q. Why do you look out the window in the morning? A. Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway. Q. Why don't sharks eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny. cheers, Chris Maunder
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I'm having a day and a half. Bad jokes needed ASAP. Lemme start: Q. Why do you look out the window in the morning? A. Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway. Q. Why don't sharks eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny. cheers, Chris Maunder
Question: What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision? Punchline: When you get a divorce, you get rid of the entire prick. jhaga CodeProject House, Paul Watson wrote: ...and the roar of John Simmons own personal Nascar in the garage. Meg flitting about taking photos.Chris having an heated arguement with Colin Davies and .S.Rod. over egian values. Nish manically typing *censur*. Duncan racing around after his pet *c.* Michael Martin and Bryce loudly yelling *c.* C.G. having a fit as Roger Wright loads up *c.* . Anna waving her *c.* and Deb scoffing chocolates in the corner. ...Good heavens!
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I'm having a day and a half. Bad jokes needed ASAP. Lemme start: Q. Why do you look out the window in the morning? A. Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway. Q. Why don't sharks eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny. cheers, Chris Maunder
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Q: Whats the difference between a truck full of bricks and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can unload one with a pitch fork.
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I'm having a day and a half. Bad jokes needed ASAP. Lemme start: Q. Why do you look out the window in the morning? A. Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway. Q. Why don't sharks eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny. cheers, Chris Maunder
Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says: "so, do you know how to drive this thing?" // this is my favorite What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Damn! (dam) <Looks around for kid sister> A guy, dress in a plastic bag, walks into a psycharist's (spelling?) office. The psycharist says: "I can clearly say you're (your) nuts" I think that's enough for now. :-D I prefer to wear gloves when using it, but that's merely a matter of personal hygiene [Roger Wright on VB] Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. [Rich Cook]
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I'm having a day and a half. Bad jokes needed ASAP. Lemme start: Q. Why do you look out the window in the morning? A. Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway. Q. Why don't sharks eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny. cheers, Chris Maunder
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? A: Wiped his butt. Q: What is the difference between a nun and a women taking a bath? A: A nun has hope in her soul --- This one is from Reader's Digest: An egg, a piece of toast, and two pieces of bacon walk into a bar to order some drinks. The egg says "Bartender, a round of drinks for me and my friends." Bartender looks over and says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
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Classics: Q: How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug? A: Four. Two in the front, two in the back. Q: How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator? A: There's a footprint in the mayo. Q: How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator? A: There's two footprints in the mayo. Q: How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator? A: The door won't shut. Q: How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator? A: There's a VW Bug in your driveway. Q: Why do ducks have big flat feet? A: To stamp out forest fires. Q: Why do elephants have big flat feet? A: To stamp out flaming ducks.
Shog9
drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds...
Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence... A: It's time to get a new fence! 'til next we type... HAVE FUN! -- Jesse
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I'm having a day and a half. Bad jokes needed ASAP. Lemme start: Q. Why do you look out the window in the morning? A. Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway. Q. Why don't sharks eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny. cheers, Chris Maunder
