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  3. I lost it today with stupid - the world is going to end because of corporate IT.

I lost it today with stupid - the world is going to end because of corporate IT.

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  • D Daniel Pfeffer

    The Law of Conservation of Intelligence:

    The sum total of intelligence on the planet of is constant; the population is increasing.

    :sigh: EDIT: Typo

    Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows. -- 6079 Smith W.

    O Offline
    O Offline
    obermd
    wrote on last edited by
    #9

    I've always figured intelligence is akin to resistance. Therefore the intelligence of a group is Ohm's Law for resisters in parallel.

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • C charlieg

      At the top of my list is corporate IT groups. What a waste of oxygen. I'm probably going to lose my contract. I was less than polite. Years ago, the *local* IT group helped me create a VM to host our bug tracking tool. The tool loves nix more than Windows, so it was bitchy getting going. But it got done. Emphasis was on a VM so we could move it anywhere. Now I've used VMware for 10+ years and for basic VMs, it's butt simple. FFS, I have 8 sitting in front of me. But corporate IT being as anal and elephanting stupid as they are (if you're in corporate IT, I'll send you a free t-shirt), would not let me give them a working VMware machine, noooo, they had to create their own hyperV machine. Cause they were a Microsoft shop. Fast forward 6 years. They decided to standardize on VMware and now need to create a project to study my request and meetings and endless bullshit to make sure they model it correctly. Meanwhile, I'm trying to keep production running and releasing code, but don't let money get in the way of process. All I want to do is clone a VM so I can &uck with it and have a retreat path. I'm cloning a production machine. It's not rocket science. A relatively bright junior highschool student can do it. It does not take a team. All I need is one admin to rename the clone and join the network. So, they closed my ticket. And sent me a survey. I was blunt in my feedback. Meanwhile: - lowes has their idiot chat bot trying to help me. Impossible to get to a human let alone an intelligent one. - my bank has an even worse chat bot that is an imbecile. I'll be going to talk to the local branch manager, it will be easier. - someone else is on my list Seriously, if an asteroid was coming and I wanted IT support to run a save the world modelling simulation, we're all going to die.

      Charlie Gilley “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759 Has never been more appropriate.

      J Offline
      J Offline
      Jeremy Falcon
      wrote on last edited by
      #10

      If you think humans are clueless now... just wait another 100 years when more generations that have to do even less with their minds pop out. Thinking, like horseback riding, will be reserved for the few.

      Jeremy Falcon

      N A P 3 Replies Last reply
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      • D dandy72

        Lemme guess, ISO-9000 compliance is a bullet point on the company's checklist...?

        J Offline
        J Offline
        Jeremy Falcon
        wrote on last edited by
        #11

        To be fair though, the business isn't all that bad. There are some very good people on that side of the fence, but they are generally about as technical as a turnip. Which means, it's up to the tech side to speak up with issues that are tech related. Of course, there are some arse-wipes on that side too. Same goes for devs though. :laugh:

        Jeremy Falcon

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • D Daniel Pfeffer

          Fixed typo. :-O

          Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows. -- 6079 Smith W.

          J Offline
          J Offline
          jmaida
          wrote on last edited by
          #12

          What a difference a letter can make! :)

          "A little time, a little trouble, your better day" Badfinger

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • C charlieg

            At the top of my list is corporate IT groups. What a waste of oxygen. I'm probably going to lose my contract. I was less than polite. Years ago, the *local* IT group helped me create a VM to host our bug tracking tool. The tool loves nix more than Windows, so it was bitchy getting going. But it got done. Emphasis was on a VM so we could move it anywhere. Now I've used VMware for 10+ years and for basic VMs, it's butt simple. FFS, I have 8 sitting in front of me. But corporate IT being as anal and elephanting stupid as they are (if you're in corporate IT, I'll send you a free t-shirt), would not let me give them a working VMware machine, noooo, they had to create their own hyperV machine. Cause they were a Microsoft shop. Fast forward 6 years. They decided to standardize on VMware and now need to create a project to study my request and meetings and endless bullshit to make sure they model it correctly. Meanwhile, I'm trying to keep production running and releasing code, but don't let money get in the way of process. All I want to do is clone a VM so I can &uck with it and have a retreat path. I'm cloning a production machine. It's not rocket science. A relatively bright junior highschool student can do it. It does not take a team. All I need is one admin to rename the clone and join the network. So, they closed my ticket. And sent me a survey. I was blunt in my feedback. Meanwhile: - lowes has their idiot chat bot trying to help me. Impossible to get to a human let alone an intelligent one. - my bank has an even worse chat bot that is an imbecile. I'll be going to talk to the local branch manager, it will be easier. - someone else is on my list Seriously, if an asteroid was coming and I wanted IT support to run a save the world modelling simulation, we're all going to die.

            Charlie Gilley “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759 Has never been more appropriate.

            N Offline
            N Offline
            Nelek
            wrote on last edited by
            #13

            I can relate.... sadly :sigh:

            M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • J Jorgen Andersson

              Seen a variant of that, it was something like: The intelligence of a group of people equals the dumbest in the group divided with the number of people

              Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello

              N Offline
              N Offline
              Nelek
              wrote on last edited by
              #14

              I know: The most stupid animal in the nature is a group of humans, the bigger the dumber

              M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • J Jeremy Falcon

                If you think humans are clueless now... just wait another 100 years when more generations that have to do even less with their minds pop out. Thinking, like horseback riding, will be reserved for the few.

                Jeremy Falcon

                N Offline
                N Offline
                Nelek
                wrote on last edited by
                #15

                Your message reminds me the "Wall-E" film. The humans in the spaceship

                M.D.V. ;) If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about? Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • C charlieg

                  At the top of my list is corporate IT groups. What a waste of oxygen. I'm probably going to lose my contract. I was less than polite. Years ago, the *local* IT group helped me create a VM to host our bug tracking tool. The tool loves nix more than Windows, so it was bitchy getting going. But it got done. Emphasis was on a VM so we could move it anywhere. Now I've used VMware for 10+ years and for basic VMs, it's butt simple. FFS, I have 8 sitting in front of me. But corporate IT being as anal and elephanting stupid as they are (if you're in corporate IT, I'll send you a free t-shirt), would not let me give them a working VMware machine, noooo, they had to create their own hyperV machine. Cause they were a Microsoft shop. Fast forward 6 years. They decided to standardize on VMware and now need to create a project to study my request and meetings and endless bullshit to make sure they model it correctly. Meanwhile, I'm trying to keep production running and releasing code, but don't let money get in the way of process. All I want to do is clone a VM so I can &uck with it and have a retreat path. I'm cloning a production machine. It's not rocket science. A relatively bright junior highschool student can do it. It does not take a team. All I need is one admin to rename the clone and join the network. So, they closed my ticket. And sent me a survey. I was blunt in my feedback. Meanwhile: - lowes has their idiot chat bot trying to help me. Impossible to get to a human let alone an intelligent one. - my bank has an even worse chat bot that is an imbecile. I'll be going to talk to the local branch manager, it will be easier. - someone else is on my list Seriously, if an asteroid was coming and I wanted IT support to run a save the world modelling simulation, we're all going to die.

                  Charlie Gilley “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759 Has never been more appropriate.

                  W Offline
                  W Offline
                  Wizard of Sleeves
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #16

                  Being the wizard I am, I was askedtold to to implement a chat bot. I refused. I could not see myself implementing something I hate to use myself.

                  Nothing succeeds like a budgie without teeth. To err is human, to arr is pirate.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • C charlieg

                    At the top of my list is corporate IT groups. What a waste of oxygen. I'm probably going to lose my contract. I was less than polite. Years ago, the *local* IT group helped me create a VM to host our bug tracking tool. The tool loves nix more than Windows, so it was bitchy getting going. But it got done. Emphasis was on a VM so we could move it anywhere. Now I've used VMware for 10+ years and for basic VMs, it's butt simple. FFS, I have 8 sitting in front of me. But corporate IT being as anal and elephanting stupid as they are (if you're in corporate IT, I'll send you a free t-shirt), would not let me give them a working VMware machine, noooo, they had to create their own hyperV machine. Cause they were a Microsoft shop. Fast forward 6 years. They decided to standardize on VMware and now need to create a project to study my request and meetings and endless bullshit to make sure they model it correctly. Meanwhile, I'm trying to keep production running and releasing code, but don't let money get in the way of process. All I want to do is clone a VM so I can &uck with it and have a retreat path. I'm cloning a production machine. It's not rocket science. A relatively bright junior highschool student can do it. It does not take a team. All I need is one admin to rename the clone and join the network. So, they closed my ticket. And sent me a survey. I was blunt in my feedback. Meanwhile: - lowes has their idiot chat bot trying to help me. Impossible to get to a human let alone an intelligent one. - my bank has an even worse chat bot that is an imbecile. I'll be going to talk to the local branch manager, it will be easier. - someone else is on my list Seriously, if an asteroid was coming and I wanted IT support to run a save the world modelling simulation, we're all going to die.

                    Charlie Gilley “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759 Has never been more appropriate.

                    A Offline
                    A Offline
                    Andre Oosthuizen
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #17

                    I feel you!! We had a hardware shutdown on some old lappie's a few months ago. As per IT policy, you are not allowed to replace, modify, kick, scream at, throw or jump on any said hardware without them checking, confirming, ordering, waiting 6 weeks from cheapest vendor and installing said hardware. 3 Days after ticket generation, 10 year old look-alike arrives, GOOGLE the issue (after we disclosed the error messages and issues - graphic cards were shot) and off he went. Ticket were now sent from his office to head office, then back to regional, then back to head office and lastly to our office for final approval (some accountants got involved to ease the approval and ordering process!) a Few days later we were asked why certain reports shows a back-log, ahmmmm, "Did you approve the hardware replacement?" No, but about those reports..... :doh: :doh: :doh:

                    J 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • J Jeremy Falcon

                      If you think humans are clueless now... just wait another 100 years when more generations that have to do even less with their minds pop out. Thinking, like horseback riding, will be reserved for the few.

                      Jeremy Falcon

                      A Offline
                      A Offline
                      ACRowland
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #18

                      Thinking, like horseback riding, will be reserved for the few.

                      100 years? It's already happened. We British go horse riding. To quote Michael McIntyre, only Americans need it spelling out which part of the horse they're supposed to sit on.

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                      • J jschell

                        charlieg wrote:

                        Two days later, the request is closed with no explanation.

                        That is a process problem. You should ask that the process require that all closed tickets, regardless of source, must provide sufficient detail. Note that 'closed' means success, failure or will not be implemented. Then 5 years from now when it attempted again someone can find that original ticket and see what happened with it.

                        C Offline
                        C Offline
                        charlieg
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #19

                        Well, apparently the survey with all 1's got somebody's attention, and I received a call from a relatively senior manager. He took the time to explain the overall situation across the corporation, apologizing for the terse closure notes on the ticket. The discussion was honest and product, and in the end I apologized for losing my temper. The biggest problem with the corporate IT group is that the never share any information (based on his description of how much work they had to do, they are sorely understaffed). The fail on my part was that I got frustrated and forgot the basic rule of people at work - most really want to do a good job. Now, as for the chat bot at the bank.... Jamie must die. :). Jamie is the name of the help agent - computer - not a live person (in case the fbi reads this)

                        Charlie Gilley “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759 Has never been more appropriate.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • D dandy72

                          Lemme guess, ISO-9000 compliance is a bullet point on the company's checklist...?

                          C Offline
                          C Offline
                          charlieg
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #20

                          every company I've worked for has championed ISO-9000 for no discernible reason :). If I had to comment on some management directions that have come and gone, I can live with ISO9000. One task was that every desk had to have a common work organization. Out came the tape and label maker for keyboard, stapler, phone, etc.

                          Charlie Gilley “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759 Has never been more appropriate.

                          P J 2 Replies Last reply
                          0
                          • C charlieg

                            every company I've worked for has championed ISO-9000 for no discernible reason :). If I had to comment on some management directions that have come and gone, I can live with ISO9000. One task was that every desk had to have a common work organization. Out came the tape and label maker for keyboard, stapler, phone, etc.

                            Charlie Gilley “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759 Has never been more appropriate.

                            P Offline
                            P Offline
                            Peter Shaw
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #21

                            As a business owner myself, I get hammered by slick marketing companies trying to tell me "I Need ISO9000 Certification" Drives me $£%£^$ bonkers. I'm literally a "one man band", I hire contractors from time to time when I need them, I've been doing I.T. now for about 40 years, and it's the same approach over and over and over again... "Oh look there's a stupid CEO with no tech skills, lets tell him what tech stuff he needs (That we will supply) to stay alive in this world" As for the corp IT team, yea I feel the pain. If you think it's bad looking from the outside in, you wanna try being on the inside. I've done both positions in my career, inside most of these teams how anything gets done most of the time is beyond me. I was a junior lacky on one team, not much responsibility, simple jobs like checking tickets etc. I was hired, sent on a "Prince 2", "Cobit" and various other "Process Management" courses, I was away from the actual job with all of these for about 2 months, then when I came back, my position was terminated a month later because I was surplus to requirements.

                            C 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • J Jeremy Falcon

                              If you think humans are clueless now... just wait another 100 years when more generations that have to do even less with their minds pop out. Thinking, like horseback riding, will be reserved for the few.

                              Jeremy Falcon

                              P Offline
                              P Offline
                              Peter Shaw
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #22

                              Yup..... Even mike judge said it... "I never expected my film to become reality" Idiocracy [Idiocracy - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idiocracy)

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • A ACRowland

                                Thinking, like horseback riding, will be reserved for the few.

                                100 years? It's already happened. We British go horse riding. To quote Michael McIntyre, only Americans need it spelling out which part of the horse they're supposed to sit on.

                                K Offline
                                K Offline
                                K Personett
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #23

                                Well, there is that statue of King Wenceslas riding a dead horse upside down, so perhaps the Czech's need it spelled out also. :P FWIW, here in Texas, it's simply called "riding" (with horses being the default beast of burden, followed by motorcycles).

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • C charlieg

                                  At the top of my list is corporate IT groups. What a waste of oxygen. I'm probably going to lose my contract. I was less than polite. Years ago, the *local* IT group helped me create a VM to host our bug tracking tool. The tool loves nix more than Windows, so it was bitchy getting going. But it got done. Emphasis was on a VM so we could move it anywhere. Now I've used VMware for 10+ years and for basic VMs, it's butt simple. FFS, I have 8 sitting in front of me. But corporate IT being as anal and elephanting stupid as they are (if you're in corporate IT, I'll send you a free t-shirt), would not let me give them a working VMware machine, noooo, they had to create their own hyperV machine. Cause they were a Microsoft shop. Fast forward 6 years. They decided to standardize on VMware and now need to create a project to study my request and meetings and endless bullshit to make sure they model it correctly. Meanwhile, I'm trying to keep production running and releasing code, but don't let money get in the way of process. All I want to do is clone a VM so I can &uck with it and have a retreat path. I'm cloning a production machine. It's not rocket science. A relatively bright junior highschool student can do it. It does not take a team. All I need is one admin to rename the clone and join the network. So, they closed my ticket. And sent me a survey. I was blunt in my feedback. Meanwhile: - lowes has their idiot chat bot trying to help me. Impossible to get to a human let alone an intelligent one. - my bank has an even worse chat bot that is an imbecile. I'll be going to talk to the local branch manager, it will be easier. - someone else is on my list Seriously, if an asteroid was coming and I wanted IT support to run a save the world modelling simulation, we're all going to die.

                                  Charlie Gilley “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759 Has never been more appropriate.

                                  R Offline
                                  R Offline
                                  Reverend Jim
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #24

                                  I know exactly how you feel. I worked in IT for a small, very specialized group in a large (5000+) corporation. Fortunately my group maintained the hardware/software for a corporate core function (AGC/SCADA/electric utility). As such we were insulated from the rest of the IT insanity. Eventually to further insulate us we were removed completely from IT and put directly under the engineers in charge of transmission/distribution (another hell, but at least a lesser one).

                                  C P 2 Replies Last reply
                                  0
                                  • J Jorgen Andersson

                                    Seen a variant of that, it was something like: The intelligence of a group of people equals the dumbest in the group divided with the number of people

                                    Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello

                                    J Offline
                                    J Offline
                                    jochance
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #25

                                    https://despair.com/products/meetings?variant=2457301507[^]

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • R Reverend Jim

                                      I know exactly how you feel. I worked in IT for a small, very specialized group in a large (5000+) corporation. Fortunately my group maintained the hardware/software for a corporate core function (AGC/SCADA/electric utility). As such we were insulated from the rest of the IT insanity. Eventually to further insulate us we were removed completely from IT and put directly under the engineers in charge of transmission/distribution (another hell, but at least a lesser one).

                                      C Offline
                                      C Offline
                                      cegarman
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #26

                                      Greetings, as Mark Twain once stated: “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

                                      Cegarman document code? If it's not intuitive, you're in the wrong field :D

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • P Peter Shaw

                                        As a business owner myself, I get hammered by slick marketing companies trying to tell me "I Need ISO9000 Certification" Drives me $£%£^$ bonkers. I'm literally a "one man band", I hire contractors from time to time when I need them, I've been doing I.T. now for about 40 years, and it's the same approach over and over and over again... "Oh look there's a stupid CEO with no tech skills, lets tell him what tech stuff he needs (That we will supply) to stay alive in this world" As for the corp IT team, yea I feel the pain. If you think it's bad looking from the outside in, you wanna try being on the inside. I've done both positions in my career, inside most of these teams how anything gets done most of the time is beyond me. I was a junior lacky on one team, not much responsibility, simple jobs like checking tickets etc. I was hired, sent on a "Prince 2", "Cobit" and various other "Process Management" courses, I was away from the actual job with all of these for about 2 months, then when I came back, my position was terminated a month later because I was surplus to requirements.

                                        C Offline
                                        C Offline
                                        charlieg
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #27

                                        The weirdest part about iso-9000 is that all you need to know to pass is where is your doc? You don't have to follow it.... A few years ago, the auditors decided they wanted to talk to the s/w people. They were amazed and excited that we have version control. :doh: I guess when I retire, I'll study where it came from :)

                                        Charlie Gilley “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759 Has never been more appropriate.

                                        P 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • C charlieg

                                          At the top of my list is corporate IT groups. What a waste of oxygen. I'm probably going to lose my contract. I was less than polite. Years ago, the *local* IT group helped me create a VM to host our bug tracking tool. The tool loves nix more than Windows, so it was bitchy getting going. But it got done. Emphasis was on a VM so we could move it anywhere. Now I've used VMware for 10+ years and for basic VMs, it's butt simple. FFS, I have 8 sitting in front of me. But corporate IT being as anal and elephanting stupid as they are (if you're in corporate IT, I'll send you a free t-shirt), would not let me give them a working VMware machine, noooo, they had to create their own hyperV machine. Cause they were a Microsoft shop. Fast forward 6 years. They decided to standardize on VMware and now need to create a project to study my request and meetings and endless bullshit to make sure they model it correctly. Meanwhile, I'm trying to keep production running and releasing code, but don't let money get in the way of process. All I want to do is clone a VM so I can &uck with it and have a retreat path. I'm cloning a production machine. It's not rocket science. A relatively bright junior highschool student can do it. It does not take a team. All I need is one admin to rename the clone and join the network. So, they closed my ticket. And sent me a survey. I was blunt in my feedback. Meanwhile: - lowes has their idiot chat bot trying to help me. Impossible to get to a human let alone an intelligent one. - my bank has an even worse chat bot that is an imbecile. I'll be going to talk to the local branch manager, it will be easier. - someone else is on my list Seriously, if an asteroid was coming and I wanted IT support to run a save the world modelling simulation, we're all going to die.

                                          Charlie Gilley “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759 Has never been more appropriate.

                                          S Offline
                                          S Offline
                                          Steve Naidamast
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #28

                                          Like Hecklefish said the other night, "If we are going to rely on Humans to teach AI morality, we're screwed..."

                                          Steve Naidamast Sr. Software Engineer Black Falcon Software, Inc. blackfalconsoftware@outlook.com

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